Timmy and Russell entered the studio to find the gang gathered around baby Shea, awake now in Audrey's arms, cooing happily, putting on the adorable baby show.

"You want one of those?" snarked Russell. "You'd make a good little mommy."

"Yes, well, knowing you I'm probably already step-father-"

"Step-mother."

"-to a dozen or so illegitimate children you know nothing about."

Jeff began making his way over to them.

"About time you guys showed up. The photographer's running late, though."

"Seriously, we could have stayed in the closet," said Russell, nudging Timmy without thinking. He met eyes with Jeff, instantly regretting his words, and they exchanged what was perhaps the most awkward, uncomfortable look the two of them had ever shared.

"Russell," Jeff said with a nod.

"Jeff."

Timmy coughed lightly. "I'm going to join the others, excuse me..."

Russell grabbed at Timmy's arm in vain as he disappeared quickly towards the group and Russell muttered a quiet, "Gr, nertz."

Jeff grunted, wanting to walk away, and fumbled with his hands for a moment before deciding to speak. "So...Russell...what the hell happened, man?"

"Jeff, don't go there, okay, just don't."

"I'm just trying to get this straight in my head...I mean, you...not being straight...you're the straightest guy I know, how does something like this happen, all my perceptions of reality are sort of flying out the window on this one."

"Yeah, right there with ya, buddy."

"I mean, the last couple years you started getting a little...hm-hm around the guy, but it was all a big joke, nothing serious. What turned you off of chicks?"

"I'm not turned off of chicks, okay?! Damn it, I love chicks! I can't stop thinking about chicks, I spent all day yesterday looking through every number of every broad I've ever had sex with, with my finger on the dial and my hand down my pants and then for some reason I'm here today with Timmy, I don't freaking know why, Jeff, I'm trying to figure it out, let me figure it the hell out, okay!"

Jeff put up his hands in surrender. "Okay...okay, I get it. I mean, I don't get it, but. Sorry."

"No, it's...it's cool. I've had a really shitty day, man. I'm confused."

Jeff wasn't sure what to say, so he said the first thing that came to mind. "You know, when I met Audrey, I was dating a lot of different girls."

"Sure thing, hot shot."

"I was, and when I got with Audrey, all of that stopped. It just lost its appeal, ya know? It's not...it's not like I didn't want to. God, you know how many women I see on the street and just wanna ransack?"

"Should you really say things like that with your wife standing like three yards away?"

"Ah, whatever, she'd jump on the mailman if I keeled over tomorrow. Listen, Russell, the point is, I don't really get the whole...uh, switching teams thing, but when you settle on somebody, you kind of just...you settle, ya know? You're a bachelor, I've never known you to be anything else. So if you really turned down a black book full of vag for the little uh, proper gent over there, that doesn't compute in my brain at all but maybe that should tell you something."

Russell groaned. "I don't know. I like the vag, Jeff. I mean I really, really...really like the vag."

"Yeah, I know ya do."

"But see, the problem is..." Russell looked over towards the group. Towards Timmy. His voice grew sincere. "Damn it, Jeff, I...I like him too. I really like him, Jeff." He looked down. "I uh-I maybe even love him." Russell instantly was kicking himself as he looked back to Jeff. "Fuck it, ah, forget I said that, okay?"

"No, it's-it's okay, Russell." Jeff could sense how serious Russell was and grew uncharacteristically sympathetic. They both felt uncomfortably vulnerable now, too pathetically touchy-feely, and were eager to get away from this scene.

"I really love vag," Russell reiterated.

"Yeah, buddy, I know." Jeff hesitantly extended an arm around Russell's shoulder as they went to join the others.

Everybody was busy squealing over Shea.

"Ohhh, she's sucking on her fingers!" squeaked Jen.

"Imagine that," Russell chided flatly as he met the group. "A baby who knows how to eat her own hand, woo, she's a genius!" Timmy elbowed Russell and he grimaced. "I mean awh, look, she's adorable!"

Adam tickled the baby's tummy with a finger. "Yeah, well, I think she's the cutest thing I've ever seen ever, just ever, goochy goochy goo!" He looked to Jen. "Honey, maybe it's time we started thinking about having one of our own?"

"Soon...maybe...we'll see..."

Brenda chimed in. "Don't let it scare you, Jen, the morning sickness, water retention, and not being able to drink for 9 months is totally worth the searing pain of childbirth."

"Wait, what-?"

Before Brenda could console away the horrified look on Jen's face, she had already moved on to Timmy, pulling him aside from the rest of the group and whispering confidentially.

"So is everything cool with your hobbit?"

"Oh, uhm, yes. Thank you, Brenda, I do appreciate it. Whatever you did in there, thank you."

The smile on Timmy's face revealed more to Brenda than his words ever could and she smiled back knowingly. "Ah, it's nothin'. You have strange taste in men, Timmy, but you're a good guy. Take care of yourself, okay? And if he hurts you, I'll set him straight." She paused, reflecting on her choice of words. "Hm. Well, you catch my drift." She patted him on the shoulder and joined the others, eyeballing Russell briefly and catching an uncomfortable look back from him.

Suddenly the door to the studio swung open and all eyes drifted to the new figure entering the room.

"Is that him?" murmured Jeff.

Audrey nodded. "Has to be..."

Russell started slowly snickering, building up to a bigger laugh, which Timmy promptly stopped with a sober, "No."

The man approaching them was thin, tall, with long blonde hair, dressed in a colorful fringed number, heeled boots, and round pink sunglasses. When he spoke, his voice floated out heavily accented:

"Are you ze clients for ze photo shoot, zen?"

Russell and Adam both threatened laughter, to which Timmy and Jen both placed hands over their mouths and smacks to their sides.

Audrey spoke as she handed Shea to Jeff. "Uh, yes, hello. Audrey Bingham." She walked to the man, extending a hand. He recoiled slightly.

"No, sorree, I don't shake ze hands. Air shake." He extended a hand several inches from Audrey's, feigning a shaking motion, which Audrey returned cautiously.

"Uhm...okay, great, so would you like introductions, or...?"

"Well, I am Francois," he said. "And let me assess zis group." He brushed Audrey aside. "Ahhh...we have three couples, a bah-bee, and a lezbian."

He tugged Audrey to the group and began grabbing arms, moving people around into pairs until he ended up with a mish-mosh. He started down the line, coming up first to Jennifer.

"Ze lezbian."

"Uh, I'm not a-"

He placed a finger to Jen's mouth. "Shhh."

Moving next to Russell and Brenda. "Okay, I don't know how to fix zis one. I'm sorry sweetheart, you are fine, but I cannot really do much to fix him. My suggestion is you find a partner who looks a little less like ze aging two-bit '70s pornographic actor who's given up on himself, yes?" Brenda guffawed and before Russell could get a crack in, Francois was on to the next couple.

Audrey and Timmy stood with furrowed brows, both ready to try and rectify this awkwardness before being promptly cut off. "Zis is wonderful! Like from ze art film, no? Ebony and Ivory or uhm, no I suppose like ze Ivory and ze Latte."

Timmy managed to get a word in edgewise. "Alright, I feel as though I should explain something to you before we go any further with this-"

"Oh mah goodness, he looks like ze one thing and sounds like ze other, it's amahzing! He's so exotic, where are you from?!"

"Well, I'm from South Africa, but-"

"Oh my God, ze brain, it hurts, no no, moving on, moving on."

He came finally to Jeff and Adam. "Ahh, ze gay couple."

"Now hold on just a minute," began Jeff.

"Yes, you are ze bear. A mighty fine, big, buff bear."

"I'm what?"

Adam laughed.

"And you have adopted a bah-bee with zis one, your little lover, oh, you're so cute together, what a lovely little family you make!"

Adam wasn't laughing anymore.

"We're not a gay couple!" Jeff said in a near shout.

Francois stood silently for a moment. "...No?"

"No!"

"But...I'm never wrong about zis, I sensed three couples and ze lezbian, I know I am right about zis."

"Ya paired us up all wrong, ya queero!"

"Jeff!" spouted Audrey.

Francois stomped. "Correct yourselves immediately!"

The group sighed and groaned collectively and began 'correcting themselves' until they stood in their proper respective places...aside from Russell and Timmy, who hesitated momentarily in standing aside one another, all eyes on them as they finally took the last inches towards one another, cementing themselves as the gay couple.

Francois looked baffled. "Huh...sooooo...you mean to tell me that ze grizzly bear is with ze Ivory...lezbian is with pretty gay boy...redhead is ze lezbian...and ze exotic melting pot is with ze '70s porn star?"

General nods in the affirmative. Francois tossed up his hands with a huff. "I'm losing my touch, zis world makes no sense to me any longer!"

As Francois steamed away to begin setting up, Russell proclaimed just loud enough for the group to hear: "Holy crap, this guy is fruity."

Jeff turned to Audrey with a smug look. "Called it."

"Now for ze photos!" called out Francois.

The group followed him with more than a hint of hesitation.

"We like ze props and ze costumes, eh? We do something bold, daring?! Something avant-garde! A hanging in a town square, perhaps!"

Audrey objected. "No props or costumes, we were thinking just simple backdrops. You know, nice family style photos?"

Francois turned slowly, dramatically, a sneer plastered on his face.

"Yugh. Boring, boring, boring. But...if you insist."

And so Francois set up several boring backdrops, and the group preceded to take several boring group shots. Brenda stood on the sidelines, behind the camera, much to Francois' chagrin.

"Must you watch mah every move, lezbian?"

"I do have a name, and it isn't 'lezbian'. It's Brenda. And hey, man, do your thing, I'm not gonna say a word. But uh...you might think about getting everybody's heads in frame, just a suggestion."

"You know nothing about art!"

After several photos of this sort, Francois made an announcement. "I would like to take ze couples shots alone."

Audrey nodded in acceptance. "Oh, well, okay, that sounds fine. Shea's getting kind of sleepy anyway, she needs a break."

"Very well, zen! I shall go and retrieve some delightful filters and we shall make with ze kissy kissy pictures of ze happy couples!"

"W-wait," Audrey was less than subtle in looking towards Russell and Timmy. "What do you mean by kissy-kissy?"

Francois made a grand gesture. "Doi, ze kissy kissy face, mwah mwah, don't worry, it will be lovely, I go now, stay here, I go now."

Before she could object further, he had vanished across the studio.

The group had grown intensely quiet. Everybody knew what this meant, but nobody dared say it. Couples kissing meant all the couples kissing; somebody had to say something. The air was thick. Jeff coughed. Adam let out a low groan. Finally Russell sighed and walked forward.

"I have something to say."

Timmy spoke softly, "Russell, you don't have to do this."

"No, I need to." He choked back for a moment, realizing all eyes were on him, but he nodded and continued. "Uhm, a few days ago...all of our lives changed forever. You guys had a baby...you guys finally got married, that only took like a bajillion years...and, uh...and well you saw what else went down in the hospital that night. What you didn't see was that...later that night I told Timmy Patel that I loved him." The room was silent. Timmy took a step closer to Russell. "And uhm...I meant it. So...so there's that. So that's a thing now, and I just...I wanted you all to know. So. So now you know."

"Russell."

He looked back to Timmy, who nodded softly in reassurance. Russell looked back to the group.

"I just...I hope this doesn't change anything."

Adam managed to speak first. "It's okay, man."

"To be fair," offered Jeff, "the two of you have kind of been a thing for awhile now anyway. It was just a matter of time before it turned into...well. This whole thing." He made an odd hand gesture.

"Yeah," said Jen. "You know, Russell, you used to hang out with us all the time, and then when Timmy showed up, that all kind of changed...I think we all could have called this a good...I dunno, three, four years ago."

Everybody nodded and verbalized in agreement.

Russell sneered. "Wait, what, seriously?"

"Yeah," said Adam. "I mean, there were signs ages ago. Remember that time they went on the double date and felt each other up?"

Jen laughed. "Oh yeah, or that time they tried to plan our wedding for us, that was pretty gay."

Jeff nodded. "I started calling it as soon as it started leaking out of the office, I mean, why would this guy hang out with this guy willingly outside of a workplace setting, how does that make any kind of sense?"

Audrey put up a hand. "HEY!" The group turned to her. "Now as true as all this may be..." She addressed Russell and Timmy, quickly forgetting what she was about to say in favor of joining the mob. "I'm sorry, but I tried to hire Timmy off of you when he was only a couple months in and he wouldn't budge, and I am clearly the better boss. The signs were pretty clear."

Russell flipped to look at Timmy. "Wait, when was this?"

"Ohhh, si- Russell, no, this was years ago. I assure you, there was no deeper psychological...at the time I simply hadn't wisened up to the miseries of working for you, and..." He met eyes with Russell, then with Audrey, then back to Russell. "Oh. Oh, dear."

"He wished you a happy monthiversary," added Audrey.

Russell spoke to Timmy in a near whisper now. "You told her I used to do that?"

Timmy whispered back, "I was with her at the time."

"Why were you with her?"

"I was thinking of leaving you."

"You were thinking of what?"

"We'd only been together for two months, you were acting like an imbecile at the time, Mrs. Bingham was being kind to me and-"

While the two continued bickering under their breaths, Jeff leaned over to Adam.

"So, are we watching them have a lovers' quarrel? Is that what's happening right now?"

Adam shrugged. "I dunno, I've seen them do this plenty of times, I don't think this is anything new."

"It's different. They're married now. Once you've boned somebody, it's different."

Russell and Timmy had somehow heard this and they abruptly stopped their argument. Timmy put a hand to Russell's shoulder in apology, and Russell spoke up again.

"So before you idiots all assured me of how totally not discrete we've been, before the hell we even knew this was a thing...thanks a ton, by the way...I had something I was trying to say. Now that-"

"And I am back!" Francois came marching up. "Lovely lovely filters for ze kissy faces." He pointed toward Russell and Timmy. "And we start with the two of you, you are fighting about something, it creates ze tension!" He made a fist. "Raw emotions make for ze greatest art."

Timmy put up a hand. "I'm sorry, I don't think we'll be-"

Russell interrupted. "Okay."

Timmy shot him a look. "What?"

"I said okay."

"We don't have to do this. I understand what you're trying to do, but perhaps this is taking it a step too far, I mean really, this isn't what today was supposed to be all about-"

Russell grabbed Timmy firmly by the shoulders and shut him up with a kiss.

Audrey squeaked out a timid, "Oh."

From the corner Brenda chimed in with, "Okay, I can kind of see it now."

Jeff and Adam stared gape-jawed until Jeff finally managed to eke out: "Huh."

Jen had her head cocked to one side, as if trying to interpret a piece of abstract art.

Finally Francois spoke in the flatest, most Midwest American accent any of them had ever heard: "What the heck is wrong with all of you, you've never seen two men kissing before?"

Everyone, including Russell and Timmy, turned to Francois now in shock.

Realizing he'd dropped his act, he stomped a foot. "Oh, well, shit. Let's just get this over with, shall we?"

And so the group watched as Russell and Timmy kissed for ridiculous, cutesy couples photos; they stared in quiet awe, dared not speak, except for Brenda who carried an amused sort of grin over how ridiculously unsure the others were of how to react.

Once Russell and Timmy were on the sidelines and the next couple was up, Brenda approached them.

"I'm heading out. You guys don't make such a bad looking couple. Timmy, remember what I said."

Timmy nodded in recognition.

"And you..." She pointed at Russell. "No more locking yourself in closets. And no more leaving the logs in the dam, huh? Something tells me he's got a pretty nice log." She gave a wink and a click of her tongue as she walked away.

"Wait, what?" queried Timmy.

"Nothing," hissed out Russell. "She's...she's a lesbian, they're all insane."

As the shoot came to a close and the group dispersed, nobody dared say much more about what had occurred. Francois left in an artistic huff. The baby was still sleeping, giving the Binghams a convenient excuse to leave without much to-do; Audrey gave Timmy a warm hug, Jeff gave Russell a manly nod.

Russell was off in his own little world by the time Adam and Jen were leaving. Adam was out the door when Jen turned to address Timmy.

"You guys coming? Me and Adam are going to the diner."

"I think we'll stay behind a moment," said Timmy, looking back towards Russell. He faced Jen with a smile. "Good luck with married life."

"You too," echoed Jen. "I guess we'll catch up later, then? You're coming out of hiding? Been too quiet, we could use some company."

"Surely, see you soon."

They waved goodbye and Timmy made his way back over to Russell, who stood staring mindlessly at walls of props. He muttered something.

"What's that?" asked Timmy.

"Good sex toys. Look, whips, swords, whatever that thing is with the spikes."

Timmy heaved a sigh. Russell carried on casually.

"Can't believe I did that."

"The kiss? Yes, well...a rather abrupt change from not wanting to talk about it."

"Guess it was a little late for that."

"Yes, not much point in prolonging the inevitable. Still, you might have warned me, I was a tad unprepared...you weren't the only one freaking out you know, I just did a better job at hiding it."

"Yeah, sorry," Russell said with a light laugh. He paused thoughtfully. "So...what now, Tim?"

"What do you mean?"

Russell turned to him, his face deep in thought. "What do we do now? Like...where do we go from here? Do we just...go back to working in separate buildings and go home to separate apartments, I mean...how does this work, exactly?"

"I don't frankly know. I suppose that's how it works, yes."

"This is weird, just...we've spent every day together, I mean...always together, and now..."

"Things change. An awful lot has changed."

Russell appeared distraught, prompting Timmy to grab his hand.

"We'll figure it out. Everything will be fine, sir."

Russell laughed lightly. "You ever gonna stop calling me sir?"

"It's etched so deeply into my brain, I'm afraid."

"Not gonna lie, it really does kinda turn me on..."

Timmy found himself developing a smirk. "Oh, does it, sir?"

Russell raised a brow. "Mm. You uh...you wanna get outta here, Tim?"

Timmy shrugged. "Oh, I don't know, perhaps I had other plans. Perhaps I was in want of a little 'me time', you know how it goes."

Russell leaned into Timmy's ear with a whisper: "I want you."

Timmy closed his eyes, steadying himself with a breath.

"I want you right now, Timmy."

Timmy's eyes darted open. "Very well, then."

And with this the men turned tail and swiftly exited the studio.

Timmy awoke in bed in the middle of the night, arm strewn across Russell's bare chest, spent from the evening's events. After leaving the studio they had come straight back to Russell's apartment and laid into one another without much thought or inhibition; being out in the open had somehow released them of whatever barriers remained, at least for those few hours. Timmy carefully studied Russell's sleeping face, now; he was starting to come to, recalling everything they had done before collapsing into sleep; the feel of each other's bodies, the release of years of pent up frustrations that neither of them truly knew they were harboring.

He leaned on an elbow and continued to study Russell as though he was a specimen under a microscope. A week ago, this would have seemed insane. To suggest that he would have been sleeping in Mr. Dunbar's bed, after a night of sexual activity no less, was crazy; to even remotely imply such a concept was just about the most bizarre suggestion imaginable. Yet here he was. And gone were the feelings of disgust and terror at the idea. Confusion remained, but that was something to be dealt with gradually. For now, he was content.

Somehow, sleeping Russell embodied all the best parts of him; he couldn't put on an act when he slept. He appeared soft and vulnerable and Timmy felt an outpouring of caring for him in this moment. He reached a hand down to touch Russell's face, which caused him to stir.

"Timmy...?"

"I'm sorry. Go back to sleep."

Eyes still closed, voice still a sleepy murmur, Russell moaned out softly, "I love you, Timmy."

Timmy smiled. He returned a hand to Russell's face, leaned down, and kissed him softly before nestling gently back down beside him. "I love you too, sir. I love you, too."

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NOTES: This is the end of part one of an ongoing ROE series I'm working on that is being cross-posted at AO3. x

You can find Part 2 of this series on Archive of Our Own dot org / user Paxella.