By the time they reached the top of the Silent Stairway, the heavy silence between the two of them had grown too much for Bilbo to bear. He felt restless and wished desperately for an opportunity to say something, to apologize for everything he had caused. It didn't really matter that he hadn't meant to cause anything bad to happen, as bad things had happened and Bilbo had been the one to set it all in motion.
There was so much Bilbo felt he should apologize: First, he had forgotten his manners by abruptly leaving the dinner table without even thanking for the food first (oh, how confused and disappointed that must have made Bombur feel!), and during the whole meal Bilbo hadn't even properly acknowledged Gladur, the poor dwarf who had been ordered to protect him for the rest of Bilbo's or hers life. Bilbo had been upset with Thorin, yes, but being upset was not an excuse for behaving impolitely. As if the complete disregard of good manners hadn't been enough, Bilbo had then made the respectable king of Erebor run after him in the spur of the moment, caused an old dwarf to get killed and been the reason why the royal guards had attacked a family of giant crickets. Yes, there really was a lot for Bilbo to feel guilty, ashamed and sorry about, a lot for him to apologize for.
As they began to descend the Silent Stairway – Thorin carrying Bilbo, while Bilbo tried not to feel too dizzy in his current position – many dwarves around the market hall turned to look at their way. Bilbo didn't actually see the looks, as Thorin was still carrying him over his shoulder, but he could conclude the looks from the way Thorin seemed to move forward a bit straighter, from the way Thorin somehow managed to grow even more distant, even more majestic.
Thorin let out a quiet cough, one that Bilbo felt more than actually heard, but he still took the cough as his sign to break the silence, being watched by a crowd of dwarves or not.
"I'm sorry," he blurted, causing Thorin's form to tense under him with his words. "I know you wouldn't like to hear this right now, especially not said by me – no, definitely not said by me, as you already said you didn't want to hear my words if I valued our friendship (which I full-heartedly do, just to make it clear) – and I'm really, really sorry, but I feel that I simply must-"
"I'd rather you didn't," Thorin cut off the apology in a strangled voice and Bilbo's heart sank. "I am completely aware of your right to make your words known throughout Erebor if you so decide, but I have to ask you not to let me hear them. I would... greatly appreciate it, as I don't think I..."
Thorin trailed off, swallowing hard, and Bilbo bit his lip, feeling even worse than before.
Thorin was wet with sweat and hot against Bilbo's body, and Bilbo probably would have found their proximity unbearably exciting hadn't the guilt weighed heavily on his shoulders. As it happened, he couldn't bring himself to think about anything apart from the awful things he had caused and done and faced since the dinner.
Frowning at the part of Thorin's back on which his nose kept bumping with every step taken, Bilbo contemplated on what would happen next. He didn't have time to think for long, however, as they soon reached the bottom of the stairway and Balin's disapproving voice interrupted his thoughts.
"That is very an unconventional way to carry a wounded hobbit," Bilbo heard Balin saying and Thorin came to a halt with a grunt. "We were just bringing the stretcher to you as requested. You could have waited for us for a few moments longer instead of hauling poor Bilbo around like that. His arm is bleeding and he must be quite shocked by... everything that has happened."
"Which is the exact reason why I wanted to take him away from the guarding level as soon as possible. And an 'unconventional' way or not, I needed to keep one of my arms ready to reach for Orcrist in case we met anything hostile."
To Bilbo, Thorin sounded almost defensive, which was odd in itself. Rare were the moments Thorin Oakenshield had felt the need to defend himself with his words and even rarer the ones when Thorin had wanted to justify his actions to someone. Usually Thorin just did as he believed was benefitting, not really bothering to care what other creatures thought of him.
"Perfectly understandable," Balin's gentle voice mused, "especially under the circumstances, but keeping the traditions in mind, it might be best for all if you were to let Bilbo down now, my dear laddie, before you... do something irreversible. You wouldn't want to abuse your power, would you."
"Of course not," Thorin stated firmly, his voice tight and full of barely contained emotions Bilbo didn't quite managed to grasp. "Never like that."
Thorin tightened his hold on Bilbo from protective to an almost possessive one, just for a moment, before he began to lower Bilbo down onto the stretcher Balin had apparently been taking to the guarding level before he had run into Bilbo and Thorin.
Once Bilbo could see other things apart from Thorin's back, he took in everything around them. Dwarves around the market hall were doing a poor job pretending they weren't keeping a close eye on Thorin and Bilbo – Bilbo saw one middle-aged dwarf trying to lit air instead of her pipe and many dwarves were bumping into each other, too busy as they were with watching Bilbo to keep a track of their own steps. When their eyes eventually flickered from Bilbo's bloody beard to Thorin, their faces darkened and they turned away to give their king and his hobbit some privacy of which Bilbo was very grateful.
Balin came to stand by Bilbo's left side, his friendly face full of concern, while Thorin occupied his right side. There were four healers as well, two of whom were carrying the stretcher on which Bilbo was now laying, while the other two hurried to tend to Bilbo, pushing Bilbo's friends out of their way.
Bilbo only knew one of the healers, a young absent-minded-looking dwarf called Abodius who was an exceptional dwarf in the same way as Ori: they both liked to spend most of their time in Erebor's Library of Thousands of Books reading and writing and doing research. Bilbo had often seen the two of them there sitting side by side, but Abodius was usually too absorbed into his books to notice a lone, wandering hobbit to pay him any mind.
The three other healers had such similar features – hooked chins, high cheekbones and long foreheads – that they could be nothing but kin to each other. Their long hair and brown beards were neatly plaited, and as Bilbo watched, one of the brown beards came closer to block everything else from his line of sight.
"Bleeding on the right musculus armussus," he heard the mumbled words through the brown beard and someone took a gentle hold of his bleeding arm, lifting it up. Bilbo gritted his teeth against the pain, when pressure was put on his wound to stop the bleeding.
"As well as slight dribble on the carrotius of the sternum," added Abodius, while Bilbo was covered with a warm blanket, which was excellent as the market hall felt a lot colder than it had been before and Bilbo was really beginning to shiver in earnest.
"My name is Eneste, Master Baggins," the dwarf closest to Bilbo introduced himself, while his long brown beard tickled Bilbo's face. "I am the head of the Royal Healers. This is Abodius and these two are my cousins, Annen and Golbmâ. All three are among my most trusted, most skillful healers and you can feel assured that we will treat you as well as we can. I must admit that we haven't treated wounds of a being like you before, but we will certainly do our best."
"We hobbits are not that different from dwarves," Bilbo was quick to assure through his gritted teeth, still fighting the pain. "I do believe that you can treat my wounds like you would treat the wounds of any dwarf."
"But be gentle about it," Thorin commanded and the brown beard was withdrawn from Bilbo's face, as Eneste straightened his back. "Hobbits are soft and delicate, and they can break, if you're not very careful."
"We're not that easy to break."
Thorin clenched his jaw at Bilbo's quiet words and turned his head away.
"Don't worry," said Balin soothingly, and even though he put a hand on Bilbo's shoulder, Bilbo had an odd feeling he was addressing Thorin such as much as Bilbo. "I know it might not seem like it now, but you will get through this."
"We will use the fifth hauler," Thorin declared and began to march towards the haulers, before anything else could be said.
They did, indeed, use the fifth hauler. It lowered them into the Healing Halls which were located twenty three levels below the market hall. Led by Thorin, the healers carried Bilbo into a chamber made of light blue marble.
There was a beautiful fireplace on one of the walls, Bilbo noted, while the other walls were decorated with diamonds, similar to those in the guarding level. Apparently the diamonds were used for the same lightning purpose as well, as Abodius hurried to twist the largest one of them and the chamber was immediately flooded with light. A soft-looking bed dominated most of the chamber, but there was a tub in one of the corners as well as a wardrobe and a screen on another.
Once Balin had closed the door behind them, the four healers took the lovely blanket away from Bilbo and proceeded to cut Bilbo's clothes off with small sharp knives. While Bilbo was being undressed, Thorin and Balin looked tactfully away, as they well aware of how much hobbits valued their privacy. Bilbo was put into the tub someone had already filled with warm water and with something that smelt of spruce but smarted his skin, especially his injured parts, very unpleasantly.
"The rohto potion," Eneste explained to Bilbo's arm, as the four healers studied the cricket bite under the water, once they had taken the bandages away. "Prevents wounds from getting infected and staunches the flow of blood, so that we can stitch up the wounds more easily. For some reason, it works particularly well when one has to deal with kamalas' poison, but you will still have to stay in the water for quite some time for the rohto to have any effect, Master Baggins."
"Uh, yes," Bilbo said, squirming a bit – he didn't like bathing in front of an audience at all. "Thank you. I will keep that in mind."
"Drink this," Abodius said and lifted a cup to Bilbo's lips. "It will bring you dreamless sleep. It will also take some of the pain away."
Bilbo was quite tired, wasn't he, and so drank, as he was going to fall asleep sooner or later anyway. After spending time with kamalas, he did indeed prefer to keep his sleep dreamless. The liquid tasted like nettle tea with a hint of cinnamon and something Bilbo couldn't quite describe other than "bitter". It wasn't particularly good but neither was it that bad.
Abodius gave him a satisfied nod, once he was finished with the drink, and the healers stood up, making room for Thorin who had been waiting impatiently to get closer to the tub. As soon as the healers had stood up and moved out of the way, Thorin was kneeling by the tub, rolling up his sleeves with stiff, jerky movements. Before Bilbo knew it, Thorin was washing the veripartah off his face in a careful manner.
"If it feels unpleasant," Thorin muttered, loud enough just for Bilbo's ears, "tell me so and I'll go away."
"It's fine," Bilbo said, because he didn't want Thorin to leave, not just yet anyway.
They avoided each other's gaze, Bilbo and Thorin, and Bilbo, more tense and aware of his body than ever, sank deeper into the rohto water, wishing he had something he could have covered himself with, even though Thorin wasn't looking at his body but focusing his gaze on a spot somewhere below Bilbo's left ear.
It wasn't until a while later that Bilbo, with a start, came to thought about the Ring.
How could he have just let the Ring in the guarding level! What if one of the kamalas had managed to put it on and was now invisible, attacking oblivious dwarves who wouldn't know where the poisonous slime kept coming from, who would have no clue as of where the cricket had disappeared to?
"The Ring!" Bilbo gasped, spilling water onto the floor and on Thorin, as he sat up straighter. "Thorin, you'll have to go back to the guarding level and get my ring back!"
"I have another task to attend to, if it has managed to escape your notice," Thorin said gruffly, his wet hands rubbing the sticky blood off Bilbo's cheeks. "There are plenty of rings in Erebor and you can have any one of them – or several of them, if you'd rather – as well as as much gold as you like. As soon as you are healed enough to travel, Kili and a company of my best warriors will take you back to the Shire. I will not talk to you, or even leave my chambers, until you have left. In return, I only ask that you don't say the words out loud, so that we can part in friendship. I simply couldn't bear to hear them. If you care for me at all, do not say them."
It took a moment for Bilbo to grasp the meaning of Thorin's words. When he finally did, Bilbo almost choked, too shocked to speak. Thorin wanted him gone? Thorin was so livid with him that he wanted Bilbo to leave Erebor and go back to the Shire? And what 'words', exactly, was Thorin talking about?
Bilbo had known his deeds had been awful, but he had thought, assumed, believed that Thorin would have been willing to work through the consequences with him. Bilbo had never thought Thorin would have wanted him to actually leave.
"Am I b-ba..." Bilbo began, closing his eyes for the gentle hands on his face burnt his heart, made his soul ache.
"Am I b-banished from Erebor?" he finally managed, opening his eyes to face the reality.
The hands on his face stilled their movement.
"Banished?" Thorin repeated, sounding almost as questioning as appalled, finally meeting Bilbo's gaze.
To Bilbo's surprise, Thorin's eyes were sad and full of resignation, even if somewhere behind it all there was the familiar blazing, the icy fury.
"Why in Aulë would you be banished?"
"For everything I've done today."
"For everything you've done today," Thorin repeated slowly, his voice oddly toneless, as he withdrew his hand from Bilbo's face. "For everything you've done today. No, halfling... It certainly isn't you that has done 'everything' today."
Thorin stood up and turned away from Bilbo, shaking his head a bit as if to clear it.
Bilbo didn't really have time to wonder his friend's behaviour, as sleep began to weigh on his eyelids, the potion the healers had made him drink beginning to kick in. Bilbo blinked to clear his vision.
"My ring," he said, even as his eyes were already closing. "You need to go get... my ring, Thorin. It is very... very, very important that you do, because..."
He was fast asleep before he had managed to finish the sentence.
Bilbo might have drowned in the tub in his sleep, sliding deeper into the water as he was, hadn't a pair of strong arms hurried to keep him above the waterline.
The arms didn't let go, until the healers finally declared the rohto had served its purpose and Bilbo could be put in the bed under the warm patchwork quilt.
Bilbo gets carried quite a bit in this fic, doesn't he.
Thank you for all your reviews! I've been a bit busy with school and stuff, but thought I'd update anyway. I hope you liked the chapter!