Author's Rant: ~sighs~ Writer's block is a bitch I swear. . .

Preparation

Last time I checked I could've sworn today was Monday.

That was complete and utter bullshit since the calendar on my cell, my digital clock, my TV and cable dish all clearly blink today being Thursday. Exactly one day before me and Sesshomaru were going to declare ourselves a step past strangers and up the ladder to fucking.

I'm really excited about this thing going to happen between me and him. No seriously I am. . . Oh . . . please ignore the way my legs are shaking like that. That's just bad nerves. I ain't nervous about doing it with another man. I know exactly what I'm supposed to do. And I'm pretty sure Sesshomaru knows too.

All I have to do is stick . . . my dick up his . . . uh . . . damn. Where the hell does it go? I mean with a girl there are several options but with a guy—how many holes can we penetrate?

Wait, wait, hold up, my cells ringing. Man-doing-theory on pause for a quick sec; I gotta handle this a minute. Ha, yesss, there's my baby.

"Hey Babe what's up? Me not too much, just thinking about you," I'm a playa. Don't hate, just learn. "Mm Mm I can't wait to see what you wanna do to me. . . Oh I think I'll like a taste of that too. Ssss yeah that sounds good." I swear to God if anyone says a word about my cheeks going red, I'm fucking 'em up.

Don't worry about what he's saying to me or vice versa because it ain't any of your business. All he wanted to say was that he was looking forward to—ahem—ravishing my godly features as he put it politely. And he said a little bit of something about us making our first pie together to break the ice or some shit.

By the way, let me set the record straight for those of ya'll with the bubbly hearts in your eyes. We're not boyfriends or a couple or anything like that. For real. It's just a curious experiment, involving me and a fine ass person willing to teach me a thing or two about manly sex. Nothing more alright? Alright.

"Yeah, I've been thinking about your body too," He sounded so sexy over the phone. Voice all deep and milky smooth, rumbling in my chest. Ever since Monday we've called each other and talked about whatever and everything. "You've been thinking about me?" I chuckled darkly. "Oh yes, I like that about me too. Tell me more." I found a cozy cushion on my couch and choose it as my upside down position, with the phone hanging off my shoulder. "You like my ass baby? Mm, I like yours too. How much?" If only he knew. "You'll find out after tomorrow."

We're just a couple of freaks aren't we? But it's easy to talk to him I discovered after our first conversation. We exchanged numbers Tuesday morning after he took me back to get my car. I'm kind of glad he didn't see me make a fool out of myself that night because I'd been so focused on watching his ass work, that I'd completely forgot my keys were still in the car.

. . . I was lucky Mr. Mixon hadn't chosen that night as a time to water his grass since it looked kind of strange for a dark figure to be bounding around his own house like a burglary. I ended up cracking a sill on my back window and crawling through the best I could; that turned out to be an unconscious feat when I knocked myself out on my night stand.

Felt like I had a hangover when I woke up. So anyway forget about that bit of stupid and go back to me and Sess after we got each other's numbers.

Well, let's just say we had a bit more than digits passing numbers in the other's cell phone. I can't remember the last time someone groped my ass cheeks like that. Massaging and cupping each plump cheek like a peach. I remember him whispering that I had a sweet body.

Shit ya don't have to tell me that.

One thing we both have in common is our fascination with lovely asses. He told me that he enjoyed mines since the first day I brought over the lemon pie.

Pfft I knew he was looking hard for some reason.

Beep. Beep.

Damn who's that? Oh shit. Mama. "Hey Sess, lemme call ya back. It's my moms. Yeah," I snickered. "Sure, sure man, we'll see. Later."

Now then, with that bit of sexy distraction out of the way, I can to see what my beautiful, beloved mom wants. "Yo, this is your sexy son reporting in." I teased. Mama could tell I was in a good mood. That would usually lead her to believing I had a new girlfriend, possibly a keeper for her and daddy to meet. "No, mom I don't have a girlfriend. Why can't I just be in a good mood?" Oh she didn't have to go there. "Mom sex isn't the most important thing in the world ya know?" The lord will strike me down with lightning for saying such a terrible lie.

I flopped over to my side, cradling the phone to my ear. "Yes ma'am schools been good so far. Nah, I only had a little homework." As much as I loved my mama to death, I really wasn't in it this time to carry on our usual discussions. And if you add the fact that I kept thinking about a certain long haired man with an ass of a God, I definitely didn't need to be on the phone with her.

"Uh-Huh." Damn I wonder what he's doing now. "Uh-huh." I bet he's probably reading a book or doing some productive. I doubt Sesshomaru's the type to just laze around doing nothing. "Uh-Huh."

I wonder if he's thinking about me like I'm thinking about him. I'd love to see him walking around in my t-shirt. Yeah that'd sound nice; seeing his sugar cheeks peeking from underneath or oh I think I'll look good in his boxers . . . Damn I sound like a girl—"Wait what? I mean ma'am? No, no, no mom, I didn't mean to say what? Huh, why are you yellin' at me mom?" I sighed. "I was listening to you mom. Mom I'm not lying. Yes I was—no mom I'm not talking back. I'm just saying . . . yes mommy. Yes ma'am. I am a bad boy and I deserve a spanking" I wish Sesshomaru could spank me now. I have been a bad boy lately

"Mom why you have to be so abusive? You know it's illegal in some states to whoop your kids' right?"

Fuck why did I say that? As if she gave a damn about the judge's bullshit. Now she's going off. "Yes mom I know you'd kick the policeman's butt. Yes I know you'd beat his mom if she tried something. Yes I know you don't care about going to jail." I felt a whimper build in the back of my throat when she said the worst thing a child could ever want to hear. Another promised beating. "But Mom what'd I do this time? I—huh, are you for real? Mom, I didn't say anything back to you I swear. Sorry, sorry, sorry I know you said it's bad to swear. But I mean it mom. A cliff hanger? You're gonna beat me with a cliff hanger?" My eyes shot at the receiver like it was poisonous. "Mom don't 'cha think that's deadly?"

She said she didn't give a shit. "Mom," I whined, stomping my foot. "Come on, I haven't done anything to get my behind beat. You're the one jumping to conclusions and before you say anything, no I am not getting smart. I'm just stating a fact." Whew I saved myself a little bit.

I was downgraded to a fly swatter. That's better than metal for those of you snickering about a 6'2 man getting beat like a slave. I sighed for probably the fifth time listening to her death threats, I love you's and reasons why I still needed my ass whooped at eighteen years old.

Ok with that out of the way, where was I before? Oh yeah I needed to figure out what to do when it came to screwing a man. Hm, well there was a way to find out but I sure as hell couldn't let anyone find out. I mean if I got caught there was sure as hell going to be a truckload of questions I did not want to answer.

So . . . who could I ask about having to do—fuck. I'll just search it on the internet and go from there.

I'm sure I'll find something remotely similar to learning how to inject my dick in . . . in . . . shit in something.

Oh my freaking damn I'm scared.

Google ain't worth shit, I swear it isn't. What the hell does this site know, saying I need to experience the blunt of manly tastes by visiting a homosexual porn shop?

Fuck

That.

Has this thing lost its mind? I'll be pulling all kinds of OMGs and WTFs from folks if they saw me walking around in there. I'm not exactly a subtle looking person. As fine as I am, half the city would think me a suspect.

But still . . .

A little piece of me was curious about the whole situation. Only a tiny, micro piece ok? I'm not that eager to find out the manly functions of fucking. I just want to know enough to show Sesshomaru I'm not a virgin. Well a virgin in that way, but—no, no, no he didn't need to know all that. This was my first time being with a man.

Aw shit what could it hurt? All I have to do is disguise myself so no one recognizes me right? Yo, don't give me that look. Me, myself and I are really important people. I have an image to keep up. If anyone sees this face looking around for some gay shit, they're likely to be asking questions.

Questions I'll be damned if I'm answering.

So with that out of the way, we're all taking a silent trip to the shop without a word to anyone around town ok? Ok. So here we go. A dodgers cap here, an oversized hoodie there, a pair of dark sunglasses, hair pulled in a ponytail . . . and you practically got yourself a robber from Hollywood.

Shit I can't go out like this; mom would kick the living shit out of me. Nah, we'll just settle with a cap and the glasses. Hoodie makes me look like the first four letters and that ain't something I'm trying to represent. Besides, it's a sin to leave my body hidden from the eyes of those who'll never touch it.

I am after all every woman's dream. Long hair, caramel tan body, beautiful hazel gold eyes, body made of steel, and a dick hung to my kneecaps. A short sleeve black polo, a pair of blue jeans, my large sized sunglasses and my hair in a ponytail will have to do then. Oops almost forgot my cap. As long as my trademark ears were hidden no one would be the wiser.

Right? Right. So let's get this over with so I can get some good ole fashion lovin' from my man—erm I mean buddy or fuck mate or whatever.

"What the fuck. . ."

Oh my God, lord help me, what am I looking at here? Some type of magical rainbow circus full of hearts, candy canes and glitter fabulous homos?

If my eyes got any bigger I'd look like my Uncle Myoga.

I mean would you just look at what I found myself in? I don't know whether to be amazed, terrified, sick or—shit this is just too bizarre.

. . . Looking around at the multiple displays of bellowing men and gapping mouths dripping sticky cum, I suddenly felt my stomach getting queasy. And get this . . . I'm only standing outside of the door. I mean for real, this has to be the hardest thing I've ever done in my life.

I am sooo glad I decided to walk to this place. There was no way anyone should be seeing my ride parked outside this-this monstrosity they call a business.

I feel like someone's looking back me. Every time I glance over my shoulder I expect to see a familiar face coming to scream out "Ha, Ha, Inuyasha's a swirly!" Then I'm going to jail for real.

Oh man I might as well just get this over with.

Taking a gigantic deep breath, I pushed the door open, flinching from the jingly bells chiming my arrival and the onslaught of strawberry incense coming off from some flamboyant source. The smoke strangled me just as I close the door, blinding and stinging my eyes for a staggering second. This smell is something fierce, I can't even see my way through. I reach out to use something as anchorage but end up slipping and stumbling into a pile of something long, hard, bumpy and—"Shit!"

I just landed in a pile of discount dildos! I looked around making sure I was alone and hurriedly fixed the tower of neon lengths back in place and remembering to put the sixty five perfect off sign back at the top. How the hell you gonna have sexy toys on clearance? With that bit of embarrassment out of the way, I straightened up myself and casually walked off towards the back room labeled 'From Boys to Men' in yellow and glow in the dark lime, concealed behind a periwinkle curtain with a picture of a large tongue.

Oh my damn . . . these folks something serious. I stared in speechless silence at the erotic selection arranged in all around. What I found behind that curtain. . . were walls and walls stalked to the ceiling with DVDs, wallpapers and small sized posters of men dressed in firemen uniforms, doctors coats, business attire, and—"What the hell?" Is that a thong? And—I squinted at one picture in particular unsure if what I was seeing was digitally enhanced or real life bending.

Just how do you even get in that position? Can his tongue really go in that far? And . . . and what in the blue blazes is this one called? Looked like somethin' out of Anaconda.

"Lemme guess, virgin right?"

Virgin? Ya shittin' me. I whipped around to cuss out whoever dared to insult my game; mind you I'm holding three DVDs with men doing forbidden things. What I see kind of takes me my surprise because well, he wasn't what I was expecting. At all.

This guy was, pretty? No that's not the word; something stronger like hot. No, nothing like Sesshomaru, more towards being a younger steamer vision with a long brown braided ponytail, deep red eyes, and gold earrings, wearing tight leather pants and a matching vest with no shirt. He looks like he's given it up to what I just discovered was the manhole. He looked like he could smell bullshit when it came to the gay talk, so there was no sense in denying anything to him.

"I'm not a virgin," I defended weirdly. "I'm just new to this." I hold up two of the DVDs to emphasis this. "I've never done it with a . . . an uhh. . ."

"A guy? Yeah like I said you're a virgin. But I wouldn't recommend you using those unless you the rubber band man." The boy around my age, unhooked himself from the DVD shelf he'd been laying on and came around to take the movies from my hands. "Check these out here."

I followed him over to a smaller set of discs with what I think was the basic doggy style and kissing for beginners. He grabbed the first one to the left and handed it to me. I looked at the front tilted 'Let Me Ride dat Donkey' assuming it wasn't that big of a deal, but when I turned to the back—My eyes shot open wide and I think my face melted off. Holy damn they're doing the twister.

Ride that donkey indeed. This was something nice. Ah fuck I'm actually turned on by this.

"If you're not too sure about where ya aiming for, trust me this will lead you somewhere," The bright red eyed demon said.

"Cool, this will do," I reached in my pocket for a crumbled up twenty and ten, slamming it in his chest and taking off.

"What about your change!" He called.

"Keep it," I yelled back. I needed to get the hell out of there. My chest was getting heavy, my palms got sweaty and my dick was getting thick with want. I was racing home faster than a Kentucky Derby on crack. By the time I made it there, I nearly knocked Mr. Mixon on his ass, jumped over my car like something off a cop movie and struggled to get the front door open. I was so glad Sesshomaru wasn't home today. I wouldn't be able to deal with his questions.

I needed to get this studying over with. I know what some of you are thinking; screw the fact I have homework do Monday right? I just had my extracurricular activities all confused. My goal is to fuck or be fucked, simply as that.

So when I rush in the house, I snatch off my kicks, pull down every blind in the show from the back room to the front, shut off every single light, lock the doors, shut my cell to vibrate, grabbed one of my super-sized blankets to wrap over my head and slipped the disc in, prepared to be horrified like you wouldn't believe.

It's eerily quiet in the beginning. There's nothing going on except pictures and shit. Nah this don't look so—holy shit it's starting. I covered my entire body with my cover to give myself this relaxed and comforted method of having privacy and being exiled from the rest of the world.

About half an hour into the vid, my face is all that can be seen from beneath the sheets, its all red and my tongue wagging wetly. My ass crack was twitching and constricting, after seeing this dude roped up to a bed and fucked by this maniac. Dude was puttin' a hurtin' on 'em. He kept screaming and panting, my dick was jumping with each squeal.

I wanted Sesshomaru to tie me up like that. . .

I know it's only been a little ways into this but I felt like an expert already. From the dick sucking, fingering—I ain't doing that; the tongue up the ass thing—I sure as hell ain't doing that either; I felt like I was ready to do it all.

Hell yes, I'm all for it now baby. Whoop!

Ready or not my sexy baby, daddy's comin' to wear your ass out!

Friday rolled around a little too fast for me, but this was the moment of truth. The time to be a man on a whole new level; showered down, dubbed out in my designer black jeans, long sleeved dragon logo blazer, unbuttoned for some massive chest cleavage and add that splash of perfume to my body, you had yourself Don Juan's little brother here.

Trust me ladies, Rico Suave ain't got shit on Inuyasha. Believe it.

Oh and umm. . . I didn't know how to do this right so I . . . ignore my blushing ok? But I bought Sesshomaru some flowers. I don't exactly know how this thing will work so I'll start with the basics as I would with any other date, erm fuck fest.

It's not a date. It's not a date. It's not a date. This I keep chanting to myself as I walk across the street. Again I'm lucky Mr. Mixon didn't choose tonight to water his grass too. I didn't need him to be calling mama this late at night saying her son was going over to the neighbor's house holding flowers.

Sesshomaru must've seen me coming because when I raised my hand to knock, it ripped open and before I knew it I was pulled inside, with my back slamming against the door. In a span of five seconds, my eyes were captive by beautiful hazel, scorching with red hot desire, dancing in every corner of his eyes. I gulped, steadily holding out the flowers the best I could considering there was little space between us.

"Hey Sess," Damn my voice sounds all squeaky. Let's try that again. "I-I got you some flowers." Stuttering . . . Shit. Epic fail.

"Hmm Mmm." I don't think he cares about being courted with posies. The way his eyes were growing darker, and half lidded, I think he had something else in mind. "Thank you," the flowers were grabbed by one hand, while the other kept me pressed against the door as if I'd run away. "You look handsome this evening Inuyasha," A claw fingered over the label of my blazer, trailing sensually down to the span of caramel flesh exposed. "Very nice."

"T-hanks," Still stuttering damn, old dude was right. I am a virgin.

"Come, I've prepared dinner."

"Dinner?"

Sesshomaru curved his arm around my waist, "Yes," And jerked me against his chest. "You'll enjoy what I have ready for that sexy body."

"Oh ha, ha, ha,." That laugh was made of giggling nervousness. Sesshomaru was going to eat me alive—"Eeep!" What the. I looked behind me and back at Sesshomaru's winking eye. My ass? He just- he just smacked my ass. I've never had anyone smack my ass like that! It was grab, squeeze, rub and full palmed whack.

"Mmm," The dart of his pink tongue swiped over his bottom lip as he leaned in to whisper hotly in my shy ear. "Be ready Inuyasha," that hand from before reached around for my ass again—this time not letting go. "You're going to be spelling my name by the time I'm through with you."

Oh mother of. . .

TBC: Ohhhh got'damn. Writer's block is preventing me from giving you guys the lemon you deserve so the next chapter will be one huge lemon. Hopefully this can tie you all off until then.