It had been nearly five weeks since our relationship began. Everything was nearly back to normal in the Cullen household. Jake was over every day and Dad (thankfully) kept his thoughts to himself. Jake still kept himself out of my bedroom despite my reassurances it was fine. I asked him what we would do with 8 vampires with super-hearing in the house. I guessed it had more to do with what Jake would think we could do….and dad.
I also hung out at Jake's though we didn't stay indoors as much. We still had our share of alone time, on our hill or in the park, I couldn't get enough of his caresses but it seemed Jake felt he wouldn't go too far if there was a chance we could have visitors.
My frustration was at an all-time high, when we were spending a rare evening cuddled on Jake's couch. I'd had enough. "Jake, I'm going to bed". He stood up to walk me out but instead of turning towards the door. I walked into his bedroom and crawled under the covers. "Good Night," I called. It was warm and smelled like Jake. I lay there wondering if he would kick me out. Maybe he would sleep on the couch, but just as I went to peak I heard footsteps, Jake gingerly lifted the covers on the other side and crawled in.
"Good night, Ness."
We lay separately for a few minutes, but like magnets our lips connected in the dark. We kissed and caressed each other. Jake pulled off his shirt and pulled me to him 'I didn't want you to rip that one," he laughed and his body moved with mine "It's my favorite". Too soon, he pulled the hair from my face and stroked my cheek. "Sleep Ness, I'll be here when you wake" and I drifted off to sleep in his arms.
I woke with Jake wrapped around me. I was warm, and I was more than content. I kissed Jake and wished him good morning. He was fast asleep but that didn't stop his response "Oh, Nessie, bite me Nessie, bite me!" It was tempting, I twisted around and kissed him, I sucked on his ear and traced my tongue down his jugular…he wants a naughty little vampire I thought briefly…unfortunately, I wasn't that daring. I wondered if Jake would remember when he woke up. I cuddled into him and fell back asleep, waking to his kisses "Good morning, Ness," I firmly agreed. "You have interesting dreams, Jake," I sat on him and recreated what I had done earlier and he sighed. "Should I?" I'd bitten him before but that was before this new us. I suspected this would cause a different reaction. I could tell he was tempted but shook his head. "Not today. What you do to me, Ness, its indescribable!" and grabbed me in a passionate embrace.
We couldn't stay in bed all day, but neither of us wanted to move. "Jake I think I should get home" I said reluctantly, "I need a shower and a change of clothes".
Jake unwrapped himself "Me too"
"Should we….?" I pointed to the shower.
"Ness… I need a cold shower" he kissed my forehead. "I'll be out in a minute."
I cuddled into bed again, shivering without Jake. I tried not to think about Jake soapy and wet.
Jake came out of the shower a few minutes later with a towel wrapped around his waist. "Jake!" I admonished him but really wanted to rip off the towel.
"Sorry, Ness. Forgot to grab clothes," he picked up a new pair of jeans, socks, boxers and a t-shirt. To my chagrin, he headed back to the bathroom to change.
I called to him as I got up "Why are you torturing me, Jacob Black?"
We left the house together. I had a paper due and tests to study for; Jake decided to head to the garage to catch up. I went to the library and finished the paper in no time – English, guaranteed A+. Calculus took a little more time, I e-mailed the TA a couple questions (he is cute, I had to agree, but he's no Jake) and finished an assignment. And just to have more time for Jake during the week I decided to get a head start on history and laughed at the next chapter "The Declaration of Independence" – it was a quick read. I packed up my book bag and headed home. Still shaking my head at Alice when I arrived, I barely noticed Dad on the porch.
"Your mother wants to talk to you." His lips were barely moving - I'd never seen him so angry. He ran into the forest.
She took one look at me, knew I hadn't been home and that I smelled of Jake. "Mom, I can explain, just let me shower."
"Sit – Renesmee" she was nearly as mad as Dad.
"Ness, you don't come home, you don't call. Edward was thinking of breaking down Jake's door. We worry, honey. Now, about last night…" she would have blushed if it were possible.
"Mom!"
"I just want to know that Jake was ….respectful," she was lost.
I took a deep breath. Surprisingly, I thought it would be easier if Dad were here. He'd know instantly we didn't. But then I thought of what we did do … sucking and biting and dreaming…. I was blushing. With mom here, I had to find some words, sound mature and justify my choices. I didn't think opening with 'Jake and I slept together' would be a good start.
"Mom. Relax. Please." You'd think after finishing a 20 page Shakespeare paper I'd have more words at my fingertips. "I fell asleep at Jake's, which I might add I've done millions of times before and you've never acted like this."
"Renesmee," mom rarely used my full name, as much as she was initially against my nickname, it had stuck.
"You and Jake have a different relationship now and we need to talk about this," mom was pushing; I would actually have to say it.
"Mom, if you really must know, I have the same clothes on as yesterday because they have not been taken off. I slept in Jake's bed; Jake took his shirt off and also slept. PLEASE tell me you don't want to know anything else," I begged.
"Oh, Ness," she hugged me. I could tell she was more than relieved but still continued.
"There will be a time when you and Jake decide…," mom began.
"Stop mom, I know where you're going with this. Dad would know in a second so I might as well just say it. I HAVE decided. I want Jake, all of him. He is being far too 'respectful' if you ask me. Can I go to my room so I can be embarrassed in private?"
"No, Ness. We're not done. Have you thought about any consequences?" mom was being as gentle as she could with this super uncomfortable subject.
And I really hadn't. I wanted Jake so badly it hurt. Of course, long ago Carlisle had told me everything he knew about my biology. Hormonally I cycled, but I'd never had a period. Evolutionarily I thought this was good thing-blood around vampires, not a great combination. But kids…no one knew.
I might as well be honest.
"Not really, we don't know if I can even…"
"I know, Ness. But, speaking from experiencing, you might want to consider all the possibilities." Mom rarely mentioned that she had given up the idea of kids just to be with dad until I came along; so I knew this conversation was as hard for her as it was for me.
"I guess… I should talk to Jake," I stated.
"Good thinking," mom hugged me as if the whole conversation and conclusion had been my idea. "You know you can always come to me about anything, Ness. I once told Jake I didn't think find someone who was good enough for him. I want you to know I was wrong. You are loved, Ness." She hugged me again.
"Dad?" I asked. And then it clicked "He didn't want a play-by-play, so he made you have the parent talk?"
Mom nodded.
I begged "Can you please talk to him. I can't think anything without fear of being judged. Someday..." hopefully very, very soon, I thought, extremely glad my father wasn't here, "Jake and I will become intimate. I don't want to have to avoid dad forever. He acts normal around EVERYONE else. It's not fair! I want to be me! "
"Nessie, your dad is just being protective. But I will talk to him. You should too; he doesn't like this problem anymore than you do, remember."
"Can't you just block me from him, for a while?"
Mom shook her head "Sorry, Ness. Physically, yes, but that doesn't help you work through this with your Dad. You need to do this on your own." I understood. With grown-up choices come grown-up consequences – the pros and cons of growing up so fast.
And then she shocked me, "And when your Dad asked me to block him, I told him the same thing."
Just at that moment, Jake rang the bell, but walked right in.
"Hi, Bella," he called, but ran to me "I missed you, Ness," his hair was wet.
"Did you shower again, Jake," I asked kissing him lightly, tousling his hair.
Jake felt the need to clarify. "My second shower ALONE today," he directed his answer to mom.
"Jake, don't worry, mom and I had a very long discussion about sex." Jake's eyes widened but mom interrupted before I could explain, "I'm going to go rescue Edward-he might be in Canada. Make yourself at home Jake. Can I make you two dinner when we get back – Enchiladas?"
"Sounds great, Bella." Jake answered and mom left.
""Jake how is it that you never turn down food!"
We sat on the couch and I told him about most of the conversation. He seemed shocked that Edward had left rather than hunt him down, even Jake said "If my daughter ever stayed at a boy's..."
"Jake," I whispered, "Do you want a daughter?"
He was speechless. I had to back up. "Mom and I we, uh, talked about contraception. But Jake, I don't know if it's even possible for me to conceive. What if I can never have kids?" my voice broke at the end.
He kissed me and wiped away my tears. "Ness, we will always be together. If it's possible we will find a way, if not we will have a lot of nieces and nephews in La Push. Or we could adopt." He was so sure of himself it was hard to worry.
"Thanks, Jake," I kissed him but he wouldn't let me go very far.
"My turn for a cold shower, Jake. And I need to change. Can you start cutting the peppers?" I extricated myself from Jake's lap and headed for the shower. It was refreshing and I quickly dressed putting on some tight jeans and a low cut tank I'd never worn. Alice snuck things into my wardrobe every so often; today I hoped it would be of use. I came downstairs and watched Jake chopping veggies. He had a big pile of red, orange, yellow and green peppers, along with some onions. And he even had the chicken cooking in a fry pan.
"That's a lot of food for two, Jake". He finally looked up and dropped the knife back onto the counter.
"OMG, Ness," he pulled me into his arms, kissed me passionately and traced the top of my tank. "Oh, Jake," I sighed pulling him even closer. He was lost in his thoughts and my body caressing every inch of skin. I started lifting off his shirt. The only thing that brought us back to earth was the kitchen timer. "Sorry, Ness" he placed me carefully back on the ground. "Chicken's ready".
Good thing too. Not long after he set me down, Mom and Dad were back.
Dad gave me a kiss on the cheek, "Sorry Ness. I believe I may have overreacted. Forgiven?"
"Of course, Dad," I said. Seeing as he knew what we'd just been up to, he WAS being decent.
"Do you want help?" he pointed at the ingredients. Dad? Cook? He did make the occasional omelette for me and got a gooey look from mom every time he did. But aside from that he rarely stepped foot in the kitchen.
"Dad, now you're trying too hard," I grinned.
Mom started getting out the casserole dish, sauce and cheese. Jake and I finished pulling apart the chicken and sautéed the veggies. We got everything together and put it in the oven. It already smelled delicious.
"Thanks, mom," I kissed her. "For dinner, Dad and our talk."
Dad asked Jake about work and La Push. I set the table for Jake and I and mom took the casserole out of the oven. I was surprised when everyone arrived and insisted on sitting down at the table with us. I got caught up with family events and felt badly about avoiding everyone the last few weeks. Alice hinted at another wedding but wouldn't say who. I had to guess maybe her and Jasper again – it certainly wasn't Jake and I, she couldn't see us for one thing. Jasper told us there was one teen he was trying to help at the hospital and finally seemed to be getting through, Alice, mussed his hair which I thought was adorable. It hadn't been his idea to volunteer but Alice looked proud of him. Rose and Emmett I'd seen off and on at the garage but mostly they let Jake run the show, they were thinking of taking a trip and Jake was more than willing to cover. I unintentionally ran my fingers down his arm in congratulations and my heart raced. Everyone pretended nothing happened. Thanks, mom, I thought, then, Dad took her hand. Carlisle was happy teaching, but was also now working nights at a local community clinic; he said he missed his patients. Esme was busy with planning the garden – a stream, pergola, multi-tiered deck and gazebo – it sounds like something out of a fairy-tale. It was nice to catch up with my family. I had been spending a lot of time with Jake, hopefully now, I wouldn't feel like I had to hide from them.
We finished dinner and tidied up. I did the dishes, Jake put away the leftovers. I knew it was getting late. I wanted to see Jake out. Really, I wanted to stay at Jake's again in his arms but I knew that would be out of the question. We could spend our nights apart, though, looking at Jake just now imagining not seeing him until tomorrow felt like a form of torture.
"Jake and I are going for a walk." I announced, "I'll be back soon," I sighed.
"Ness, perhaps you should ask Jake," Dad sighed in defeat. "And, if he thinks it's a good idea, take a change of clothes."
"Dad! You promised."
"I did. But this is the exception-between your thoughts and Jasper exuding heartbreak…" he couldn't speak. I knew he didn't approve…look at the lengths he went to marry mom before they got together. But I had heard (from Emmett, of course) that he had snuck into her room every night to watch her sleep. I wondered if Charlie ever found out.
Dad shook his head in answer and continued when I was done my inner monologue – annoying; but convenient.
"I don't want you sneaking off with Jake. You are nearly an adult and can behave accordingly. But…rules Ness. Weekends only. Weekdays, if Jake doesn't mind, he is welcome here."
"We'll leave you two to talk," Dad said and took mom's hand and outside they ran.
Jake's mouth was hanging open. "Jake don't drool, it's rude." I laughed. "Do you want to help me pack or...," I worried, "do you not want me over?"
"Did Edward …?" he was still speechless.
"Jake, I think the message was that I can make my own decisions. And that is what I am doing. And maybe you are right. Maybe we shouldn't take that next step for a while. But I want to sleep in your arms every night. Forever. Will you let me?"
"Forever," he agreed and wrapped me in his arms, ran me upstairs and threw me onto my king-sized bed. Before he could contemplate what to do with me lying there, he pulled me up.
"OK, Ness, where's a bag," he asked. I got up and grabbed the closest carry on and placed it on the bed. Jake waited. I pulled out some jeans, t-shirts, socks and even went into the bathroom to grab my toiletries.
Then I asked Jake, "Can you grab me a couple things out of the top drawer over there?" I pointed.
He dutifully went to open it. Bras. He turned and I blushed. "Two or three, Jake, we don't want to be here all night I teased. I went over to help him.
"Do you like this one," I held up a red lace number, "or this black one? " I waved it back and forth.
"Both," he exhaled. I packed them.
So Jake, I guess I shouldn't ask you to open drawer number two". I eyed it. He shook his head. I grabbed the undies to match and Jake ogled. I also grabbed some pyjamas, some comfy cotton ones but then I reached to the bottom of the drawer, silk, yes. I think Alice bought them for me but I'd never worn them. I didn't even let Jake see – this was for ….later.
"Let's go Jake," I called.