Full Summary: Have you ever imagined being "isekai-ed" before? Well, she's kinda too old to fantasize about that shite. She was still, however, thrown into the world of Naruto unprepared... whilst also being in the body of her game character, which, FYI, is the opposite gender and more than a little crazy in the head.
Warning(s): Slash, Necrophilia, Disturbing themes
Definition of Necrophilia: Sexual intercourse with or attraction towards corpses.
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, obviously.
[Shinkichi (Shi-chan) talks like this when outside the Mind Palace]
[Shizuka (Shi-sōrō) talks like this when outside the Mind Palace]
Shiki exhaled inaudibly as he resheathed Cross Marian and rested it on his right shoulder, not at all caring how the blood was seeping into his flak jacket, pants, and mittens (he had been so bored just slicing and dicing his way through, hence he had spiced things up by getting creative with his sheath).
Thankfully, whilst he had been playing 'pin the pinata' with those two Ame shinobi he had by chance stumbled upon, a whisper was picked up by Shi-chan. Whoever it was that spoke whilst in the presence of an unknown shinobi was pretty daft, however. If Shiki had been an enemy, team 8 would've been wiped.
Well, whatever. At least part one of the mission has been completed.
His face was impassive as he assessed the jounin-sensei and the two genins; his paranoia not allowing for him to deactivate his Sharingan just yet. Not before he was assured of his own safety.
After confirming that the three were far too injured to be of any danger to him, he allowed his eyes to return to their normal shade of black. The Uchiha boy who was carrying the Hyuuga girl, however, kept his activated. Shiki raised an unimpressed and condescending brow before he turned to the jounin-sensei.
"Team 8. My name is Uchiha Shiki and I was sent with two other jounin to escort your team back to Konoha. Our camp is an hour's journey away. Are you in good condition to travel?" he drawled, the lack of action was waning his interest by the second.
"... If we proceed at a moderate speed," The jounin-sensei replied after a beat of silence. Shiki inwardly thought it bothersome to move at a snail's speed but nodded nonetheless.
After confirming with Shi-chan that there were no enemies near him, Shiki walked to the nearest wall and used his Master level chakra manipulation skill to guide the flow of chakra solely to one foot. When he kicked, the chakra was expelled, allowing him to shatter the concrete without any physical exertion.
Shiki has also already sealed the two shinobi corpses inside body scrolls, so there was no reason to backtrack to the front door and waste precious time.
"I'll carry that."
When the two males from team 8 only stared stupidly at him, Shiki resisted the urge to roll his eyes. He settled for waving a mitten-covered hand at the unconscious Hyuuga.
The Uchiha boy squeaked (Shi-sōrō guffawed unladylike at the hamster-like sound), looking far too anxious for someone who had just been offered to have his burden carried for him. The boy meekly took a couple of steps back whilst turning to his jounin-sensei for instruction.
Shiki idly wondered if the Uchiha clan was currently on a declining scale. The genin's attitude was so pathetically meek that it was causing the Shi-family to turn their noses in disgust (completely forgetting that the boy has yet to reach double-digits in his age and was beyond traumatized by this experience of being hunted like some kind of exotic animal).
Were Obito, Shisui, Itachi, and Sasuke just flukes and the rest of the Uchiha pretty much a meh? Or perhaps it was because those warmongers had experienced peace after the formation of Konoha and had relaxed their descendants' training? Or maybe they had modified the training menu after Madara's absconding?
He would have to visit the Uchiha district and let his dark passenger observe the clan's training regime for some sound theory.
"You don't have to trouble yourself, Uchiha-san. I can carry her."
At the jounin-sensei's response, Shiki truly wanted to roll his eyes skyward. So bothersome.
"Denied. Your injuries are already slowing us down enough without the added burden," Without waiting for them to protest or whatever, he snatched the Hyuuga and threw her over one shoulder like a sack of potatoes. He made sure to get a good grip on Cross Marian's hilt as he secured the sword over the small of the kunoichi's back, "Try and keep up - and genin, I advise that you deactivate your Sharingan. You're burning chakra unnecessarily."
With that said and done, he leaped onto the neighbor's roof and ran at a pace that bored him to death. All the whilst, he kept his eyes and ears peeled for any ambushes. The heavy footsteps of the Uchiha brat were loud, but at least he was able to keep up without apparent issues.
The jounin-sensei, on the other hand, was holding his abdomen as he ran, blood oozing from the wound and leaving an obvious trail for the trackers to find them. If Shiki was being brutally honest, he didn't really care if the enemy discovers them or not - rather, he was itching to release some pent-up energy.
But now, with the added burden of keeping three people well and alive, he needed to keep things simple. Shi-chan's tempting words to just kill them and bring their body scrolls back to their families was becoming more and more tempting with each passing second, however.
Frowning slightly, he stopped in his tracks and turned to the sensei.
"Strip," he commanded sharply as he tossed the unconscious Hyuuga to her Uchiha teammate; who caught her with a yelp. He then placed Cross Marian gently atop the roof - one needed to treat a lady with delicacy, after all - and removed his mittens, pocketing them shortly.
The jounin-sensei hesitated for a second but obeyed nonetheless. He obediently shrugged off his torn flak jacket, mud-stained shirt, and bloodied mesh armor. Shiki shoved those items into a storage paper (that was one tracking component eliminated) and returned it to his hip pouch, all without turning his eyes away from the man's upper body.
There were a lot of cuts and bruises littering his skin, but Shiki ignored them in favor of squinting at the blood-soaked makeshift bandages wrapped around his abdominal region.
Shiki left the dressing in place (not wanting to tear the clots open and have even more blood gushing out from the wound) and retrieved a roll of pressure bandages (a game item that stops the debuff Bleed). Stepping into the jounin-sensei's space, he wrapped the item over the bloody bandages, making sure that they were as tight as they could possibly be without constricting the man's breathing.
He didn't notice the pained grimace on the sensei's face at his rough treatment, however. But even if he did, Shiki wouldn't care, anyway. Having a narcissistic personality disorder has its merits sometimes.
After he was done, he pulled out three paper seals, stamped it on the Konoha nins' forearm, and sent a trickle of chakra to activate them. This would temporarily remove their scent. Nodding to himself, he retrieved the Hyuuga from the Uchiha boy and picked up Cross Marian.
Hopefully, they would be able to reach the campsite before nightfall. Shiki loathed the very idea of traveling at night - it was hard to not lose his footing whilst jumping from tree to tree.
After an estimated half an hour of traveling, his sensitive hearing picked up the change of breathing pattern from the Hyuuga girl. Just as he was about to call for a stop so that the Uchiha boy could support his teammate for the remaining distance, the kunoichi's knee jerked quite unexpectedly towards his unguarded throat.
If this was any other time, Shiki would've praised the girl. Any good shinobi/kunoichi would've done the same - aim at their kidnapper's weakness at a good opportunity when their guard was down. However, in this situation, she truly needed to think before doing anything that could potentially put her life at risk (or rather, weren't Hyuugas known for their environmental awareness? Shouldn't she have sensed or seen her teammates near Shiki to know that he was an ally? Or even have the decency to notice she was unbound, hence something was amiss in this kidnapping?).
But no. She acted recklessly and without thought. Which in turn nearly cost the girl her whole kunoichi career.
Shiki, or Shi-chan, rather, reacted completely on self-preservation. The resounding crunch that followed not a second after the girl's attempt at crushing his throat made his scalp turn numb.
[Oops.]
Whilst Shi-sōrō chortled at Shi-chan's utterly unapologetic deadpan, Shiki resisted the urge to skewer his dark passenger to hell and back.
However, with an outwardly impassive face, he stopped moving, crouched on a sturdy tree branch, and placed the kunoichi down. He winced when the girl started to shriek in pain - which would undoubtedly attract unwanted attention - so he covered the lower half of her face with his palm and turned to the jounin-sensei who landed next to him.
Just as he was about to request the other jounin do something about his brat's noise level, the sensei growled.
"Just what in Kami's name do you think you're-"
Before the jounin-sensei could misunderstand his actions any further, Shiki quickly interrupted the man whose face was speedily turning a putrid shade of prune. For once, he had unintentionally hurt someone without meaning to. If he could, he would feel bad. But since he couldn't even if he wanted to - he was physiologically incapable of doing so - he could only try to rationalize his actions and apologize.
"Your genin startled me," he explained whilst apologetically lowered his eyes towards the ground, "I reacted... negatively." Was the best he could say without revealing anything weird about him.
The sensei took a deep, shuddering breath, held it in for a couple of seconds, and exhaled. This was repeated two more times (much to the Shi-family's amusement) before he responded.
"I... saw - and I do not blame you for defending yourself. However, I am angry... because it was completely unnecessary for you to completely shatter her knee! You could have simply stopped her attack, Uchiha-san! She is a genin - and let her go already!" By the end of his words, he was practically yelling into Shiki's ear.
Shiki's eyebrows furrowed but nevertheless released the girl upon her teacher's insistence. Their surroundings, however, was soon filled with the sound of the Hyuuga's ghastly sobbing, much to Shiki's displeasure.
Just as he was about to speak (rather scathingly) about the cons of crying over spilled milk and to focus more on keeping their silence lest they attract unwanted attention, he was nudged (rudely) to the side by the jounin-sensei.
Seeing that team 8's sensei was now shushing and pampering the Hyuuga (the Shi-trio all sneered at the man's mollycoddling) whilst also giving Shiki the death glares, Shiki made himself scarce by hopping onto another tree branch and preparing himself for any surprise attacks.
Since they were now delayed due to his... carelessness... (though truthfully, he was disgruntled. He was just protecting himself, yet he was the one to take the blame. He was the victim, for fuck's sake!) he would make it up by keeping them safe during the inevitable battle that would soon erupt.
Any half-decent tracker should have already been alerted by the Hyuuga's noisiness.
"Why did you do that?"
At the question asked by a trembling voice, Shiki turned to face his fellow clansman, feeling pleasantly surprised at being spoken to.
Despite his scathing remarks and dislike of genin's kicked-puppy behavior (the boy was supposed to be a trained shinobi, dammit! Act like it!... And that was Shiki's Uchiha pride talking if anyone was wondering), Shiki did want to converse with another Uchiha - to get the general (and political) gist of the clan's current situation in this timeline.
But due to his rather inept social abilities, he did not know how exactly to start a conversation with a nine-year-old boy without unconsciously channeling his inner-arsehole.
"Instinct," he chirped whilst forcing his lips into a friendly smile (or he tried anyway. He didn't quite realize he looked patronizing and arrogant).
To be truthful, Shiki felt that the Hyuuga got off rather lightly for that dangerous stunt she pulled. If he had been carrying his sword in his other hand, she would've turned into an amputee rather than just having a shattered joint.
"Instinct...?" The boy's face was full of disbelief and anger.
Shiki, on the other hand, was taken aback. Why was the genin so angry at him?
"Yes," he said slowly, his brain running a mile a minute as he tried to come up with a valid reason for this undeserved attitude he was receiving from his fellow clansman. When he just couldn't figure it out, he decided to try and explain his actions in hopes that the boy would respond in kind.
"The Hyuuga attempted an attack on me. I simply defended myself."
At his justification, the other Uchiha, however, snarled. Seemingly oblivious to Shiki's rising confusion and attempts at extending an olive branch (Shi-sōrō's hand tightening on Shi-chan's bicep in a show of restraint at Shi-chan's gradually mounting fury), the genin clenched his fists and took a threatening(?) step forward.
"The Hyuuga is my teammate - her name is Hikari, use it! And what you said about defending yourself? I call it an excuse for harming a fellow comrade! She's only 9 years old! And her taijutsu's crap! You... You're a jounin... You could've just... I don't know, blocked?!"
"A success sneak attack from a genin can topple even a kage," Shiki finally lost all temptation at maintaining his cool facade and rolled his eyes at the kid's naivety.
Was the Sandaime so desperate for cannon fodder that he skipped out on all the important aspects during their time at the Academy?
"Bullshit!" The kid screeched with his teeth bared. It almost made Shiki reel back from shock at the blatant animosity shown. Almost.
Shiki did the opposite; his expression blanked as he held Cross Marian in a white-knuckle grip. His fingers were itching for his mittens - but they were already crusted from the blood, and hence, would not bring the usual comfort of having something soft and warm hugging his hands.
"Believe what you will." Shiki, even to his own ears, sounded indifferent and condescending. But he couldn't help it. He didn't know what he did wrong and yet, he was being treated like an enemy without any explanations as to why.
Shiki mentally told himself that in the future, he would avoid anything social at all costs. He knew now that after this experience, society was unfit for a person like him; who had one too many mental health issues to count on both hands. He had already tried to behave like a normal person - yet this attempt proved that the only people he could rely on were Shi-chan and Shi-sōrō.
(Unknowingly, Uchiha Kazuo had just made it a lot harder for Minato and Shikaku to become friends with Shiki.)
"Aren't... Aren't you an Uchiha...?" When Shiki only raised an 'isn't that obvious?' eyebrow at the boy's words, the other Uchiha gritted his teeth and spat, "Is this how you represent your - our - clan? By hurting someone defenseless?! You don't even look sorry... Do you even have a conscious? How can you find excuses to reason your faults?! I know you don't care about us - but you should at least make the effort to push your horrible personality to Konoha's enemies and not her allies! You only have the drive to make others around you suffer! Why are you the one who found us?!"
At the boy's furious roar, the jounin-sensei's head snapped towards them in panic. The Hyuuga had also stopped crying, now gazing at her teammate with shocked, pale-lavender eyes, as if she had never seen him before. But Shiki didn't notice. His entire focus was on the boy who had dared accuse him unjustly.
Hurting someone defenseless? If the Hyuuga had succeeded with her sneak attack, her knee would've undoubtedly collapsed his airway.
Do not have a conscious? Yes, Shiki would not lie about his lack of morals. But to accuse him of not understanding that what he did was wrong? No. He knew he was in the wrong, even if he was a victim, hence he had shown he was sorry to their jounin-sensei.
Find excuses? When has he ever made any excuses? What he had said previously were all facts.
Make others around him suffer? So what? This may sound self-centered and defensive, but people with NPD (narcissistic personality disorder) find it hard to empathize with other people. Not only NPD, but younger-Shiki also suffered from many other mental disorders that would make any other shinobi in his shoes too much of a wildcard to allow a chance at life.
The only reason why younger-Shiki was still alive and allowed to become a shinobi was because he was, technically, a game character.
So he knew. He knew he was broken and different from others (younger-Shiki's memories of constantly being told by his clansmen that he was different, and not in a good way, hurt. It was dull and almost non-existent, but it was there. And there was no shishou here to pat him on the head and tell him that being different was okay. There was no pack of dogs snuggling up to him in comfort as their shinobi partner watched from a distance).
But the blatant disrespect really struck Shiki's nerve. Even Shi-sōrō, who was the more relaxed personality of their trio, was spitting insults at the brat. He didn't even need to mention Shi-chan. Shi-chan's Mangekyou had flared to life - his dark passenger's fingers twitching as if wanting to pull the brat into their inner world to teach him a lesson.
When Shiki's eyes clashed with the genin's, the other Uchiha couldn't stop trembling, fear clearly drawn all over his features.
"Uchiha-san!" The sensei was quick to place himself in front of the Uchiha boy, sweat trickling down his forehead, "Please, calm down. Your killing intent is-"
"Silence," Shiki hissed, eyes not once leaving the boy's frightened ones.
When the younger Uchiha blinked, lashes trembling and wet with tears, the two tomoe symbols increased by a number - and if this was any other setting, Shiki would've been highly tickled at the idea of triggering someone's flight and fight instincts so badly that their Sharingan evolved.
But he was too enraged (hurt) right now to feel any sort of amusement.
"Foolish. You are utterly foolish for clinging onto your ignorance so desperately. Let me provide your insignificant little mind with some standard common sense: out in the battlefield, what family you hail from plays little part in your survival. Representing the Uchiha? When I die, I die, regardless of how I act with the uchiwa sewed on my back.
"I did not, and I repeat, did not, do anything wrong when I defended myself from your teammate. Instincts formed by ceaseless battles cannot be suppressed that easily - do you truly believe that someone can distinguish between ally or foe when their life is hanging by a thread? A second of hesitation will cause you your death, imbecilic genin.
"And if I had not arrived just in time to deal with the two shinobi hunting your team, you would already be dead, eyes plucked and ready to be implemented into a non-Uchiha. Your sensei would and the Hyuuga would be captured alive, one for information and the other for breeding purposes. To have questioned why I was the one who found you when you should have actually thanked me? You repulse me with such impudence.
"And you-" He turned his dark eyes at the sensei, Shi-chan's tempting whispers of pulling the idiot into Tsukuyomi was getting harder and harder to dissuade, "Control your genin! Either you introduce them to the expectations that war has to offer, or your team perishes in their next mission. Stop, fucking, babying them. Genins are tools - Konoha's weapons. If you don't want them to die a pathetic death, accept that and move on. You are training soldiers, not children. "
The jounin-sensei's eyes were wide with disbelief and some other emotion Shiki could not recognize, "What happened to make you so cynical? We may be shinobi, but we are also human. Yes, we do send them out to the battlefield... but only after we deem them ready. I would never wish death upon my comrades."
"You must be blind, deaf, and retarded to have considered your team ready. Your lack of judgment has already caused a death. What more verifies my point?"
"This was supposed to be a C Rank courier mission! I prepared them for what was expected of a genin, not... this. It is impossible for a newly graduated team to fight against an undetermined number of jounins and chuunins specialized in tracking, locating, and restraining! Takai's death... is indeed tragic and unjust. But regardless, he died for his village - and that itself is honorable. I will not let you say otherwise!"
"Your priorities are skewed, sensei. The objective of war is not to die for our village; it is to make the other bastards die for theirs. I, for one, will push others in front of me just so I can live another day! Continue north until you and your team encounter a jounin by the surname of Miki. I have no time for your naive idealism and martyrdom mentality."
"Martyrdom? N-Naive idealism?! Konoha's shinobi are all about teamwork and camaraderie-"
"Enough!"
With a snarl, he swung Cross Marian and batted a volley of kunai and shuriken that had almost skewered the unmoving team 8. The two genins flinched whilst the jounin-sensei looked as if he wanted to say more words. At Shiki's hostile glare, however, he held his tongue, grabbed the two genins and carried them away from where the kunai and shuriken were thrown from.
Shiki, on the other hand, pumped chakra into his legs and threw himself towards their enemies. Before any of the five Ame nin could react, Shiki was already right above of them. He didn't bother to draw his sword, his eyes full of bloodlust and the desire to hurt.
Shiki only managed to grab one of their shinobi and shocked the person so badly with a Lightning Jutsu that he was convulsing even after he had been knocked out. The rest of the Ame nin, however, scattered and circled him, intending to balance the odds with their superior numbers. They, no doubt, were more wary of him; team 8 was too injured to get too far or fight back. It would benefit them more to take him out of the picture before going after the other Konoha nins.
Furthermore, they couldn't exactly hide their gleeful expression when they noticed his crimson, three tomoe eyes. They were, after all, a squad of dojutsu thieves.
"Don't look directly into his eyes, everyone!" Barked one of the Ame nins.
The enemy group didn't respond verbally to his order, but they did avoid looking at Shiki's face in general.
There was a moment of absolute stillness. Everyone stood in their own respective stances, muscles pulled taut as they waited for some kind of unsaid signal. When a gust of wind swept through the area, the lot immediately performed coordinated hand seals. Shiki's Sharingan predicted their jutsu before they even completed the third seal.
"Suiton: Water Bullet Technique!"
"Doton: Earth-Style Wall."
The four water Jutsu clashed against Shiki's earth wall, but none of them were able to penetrate his defenses. With the help of his phantom-like presence, he substitutes himself with a branch and slammed the spine of his sword - sheathe and all - against one of the Ame shinobi's ribs.
The feeling of bones breaking under the force of his swing was incredibly satisfying.
The shinobi grunted in pain as he was slammed into one of the many trees around them. Before the dazed nin could react any further, Shiki tackled the man to the ground and raised Cross Marian above his head. Not waiting for the other shinobi to pull himself together, Shiki rammed the tip of his sheathed sword against the Ame nin's nose.
The crunch that echoed - announcing the man's broken nose - was loud and pleasing to Shiki's ears. But Shiki didn't stop just there. He continued to bash and bash and bash until he was forced to move when his victim's comrades pounced on him with murder in their eyes.
"Bastard!" One of them shouted as they engaged Shiki in a 2v1 Taijutsu fight.
Whilst the leftover Ame kunoichi, a medic by the looks of it, was checking on the two other downed men, Shiki ignored the woman (for now) to focus more on the two jounins currently trying to murder the living shite out of him.
Seeing that his sword was too long to be of any use in Taijutsu, he mentally apologized to Cross Marian, threw it into a bush, and jabbed one of the two nins under their chin with his chakra-enhanced (Tsunade-powered) elbow. The impact alone was enough for the bloke's eyes to roll heavenward as he fainted not a second later.
As he was blocking another Ame jounin's punch, Shi-chan growled a warning for him to watch his back. Shiki, putting his complete faith in his dark passenger's caution, swerved to one side, causing the Ame jounin to stumble a few steps forward due to the sudden loss of force.
Just as an explosion tagged kunai sailed past his head, Shiki twisted his body, moving with the momentum of the projectile, and plucked the tag out from the air. Without stopping his movements nor lessening his speed, he slapped the explosion tag onto the face of the Ame shinobi and planted his foot into the sucker's stomach, causing the poor sod to go flying at his powerful kick.
The jounin clawed futilely at the chakra-glued tag whilst airborne, "FUCk-", but he ran out of time.
The explosion caused bits of bone pieces, brain matter, viscera, and blood to rain down the area. Shiki was completely drenched in gore.
Knowing that there was only one left - the medic - Shiki used his sleeve to wipe the blood from his forehead and turned to her direction... only to see a small silhouette fleeing fearfully into the distance. With a snarl, Shiki jumped onto a thick tree branch and chased after her - like hell she would be getting away from him!
Or, well, that had been his intention, anyway.
Unexpectedly, he missed the next jump and fell back first onto the ground, completely dazed as he blinked at the setting sun.
"... That was on purpose," he murmured consolingly, "I totally allowed that kunoichi to escape on purpose."
The awkward silence that greeted him after his words made even his ears turn a pretty shade of red.
Thankfully, it was soon broken by Shi-sōrō's squealing. Shi-chan, however, could be heard muttering about incompetent shinobi and their lack of bodily coordination. Shiki felt beyond humiliated and was glad that nobody was physically around to witness that spectacular fall.
[You just did a Madara! Omigewdness I can't - that was so cool, Shiki...!]
Shiki, with blushing cheeks (that were thankfully covered by blood and brain matter), pushed himself sheepishly off the ground and retrieved Cross Marian from the shrubbery.
Leave it to an otaku like Shi-sōrō to notice his rather embarrassing imitation of Madara's explosion tag party trick during his fight against the Allied Forces (before Shiki fucked up his coolness rating by falling down).
"Alright, enough fangirling. Do you guys remember which direction team 8 fled off to?"
[Ehh... Straight ahead?]
[Before that, let me remind you that we have three very unconscious enemies waiting for us to play with them. Might I suggest waking them first, followed by torture, and then lastly, dance with one of their corpses once you're done? I'm suddenly in the mood for tango. Shizuka, the music, if you will.]
[Yes, yes~]
Shiki facepalmed at Shi-sōrō's uncaring words (as she continued to fangirl over Shiki's fight scene on her laptop) and Shi-chan's gleeful suggestion. Without another word, he pulled out a copy of Icha Icha Paradise (his bad mood had all but vanished, replaced by the need to do something less bothersome), and made his way towards the unconscious shinobis.
Sometimes, Shiki has to wonder if he should add bipolar disorder into his already long list of mental illnesses. His two passengers seemed to already possess that unfortunate condition.
A/N: Mwehehehehe! I sincerely hope that you guys enjoyed reading this as much as I have enjoyed writing this ୧⍢⃝୨
Thank you all so much for the positive feedback! It truly brightens my day whenever I receive them (๑3๑)! Man, I can't wait until I'm able to write more interactions with the canon characters (~￣³￣)~
If anyone was wondering, I admit that Shiki using his sheath as a tool for inflicting pain was influenced by the manga Drifter [chapter 7 page 9 and 10] (*≧艸≦). Toyohisa Shimazu is my absolute favorite character in that manga - he's such a cutie (*´∀`*)!
For those who need a reminder of the exploding-tag-kunai 'party trick', search "Madara VS Allied Forces" on youtube. I fangirl over him every time I watch it.
Quote of the day:
"The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his." - George S. Patton