A/N: I know. I know. Yet another super late update. I am going to continue to post this story because I hate to leave stuff unfinished, even if my audience is limited, I appreciate the readers who are still interested and who took the time to review that last chapter. I will try to be more regular in my updates from now on, I promise! Anyway, I hope this chapter makes up for the wait. :)

P.S : Please Review? xx

Chapter Ten: Sydney

Like a wall of stars,

We are ripe to fall

There was hot chocolate, ice scraper sales and snow angels.

Everywhere.

People were adjusting to the new climate, admiringly faster than I'd thought. Things didn't look half as miserable as they had only three days ago. I didn't know if this was the human race's natural ability to be in denial or just them trying to make the best out of a dismal situation; whatever it was... it was working.

As I walked down the now snow covered streets of a brave new Palm Springs, I had to keep tugging at my jumper to keep from frostbite. I was on my way to Mrs. Terwilliger's house, who was back from her impromptu New York tour and ready to get back to business. I'd just gotten done with the last class for the day at Amberwood, they had cut all periods short to accommodate to the surreal weather conditions. The snow was stubborn and thick, it seemed to be getting worse everyday. I sighed as I looked around me, being careful not to slip and fall on my behind. There were kids running around in winter gear, throwing snowballs at each other and grinning madly; people scraping ice out of their front lawns, cars driving painfully slow to keep from skidding. There were posters on some of the walls, advertisements selling sweaters and cocoa powder and whatnot.

It was all a bit too strange for a tropical summer destination such as this one.

The world was already changing itself - modifying, trying to brace for Ivy's impact. Whatever that was. After another few twists and turns, I was at Mrs. T's apartment, the gang had already made themselves comfortable. Neil and Angeline sat together, munching on jelly donuts on the couch. Eddie stood by the door, as if guarding it. Mrs. T was busy writing something down, a pencil stuck in her hair. Jill was looking out the window wearing a cute grey sweater and sipping on coffee. Adrian sat on the chair opposite to Mrs. T's; he had propped his legs up on the table. He looked lost in thought, like frozen in a bittersweet reverie.

Our eyes met. I passed him a small smile as I walked in. He returned it. After that surreal spell I could barely form two words in front of him without stammering. The only time I'd broken that was when I'd walked into Adrian's room to talk to him about what I'd seen and instantly pulled him towards me. He had looked so broken and... lost. I couldn't help it.

He had been drunk. But he'd also been blabbering things, I shuddered at some of the words I had caught. Had he mentioned his dead aunt? I sighed, he'd needed it, at the time. The comfort, the warmth of another human being. But after he'd drifted off to sleep, which didn't take much time in his fatigued condition, I'd slipped right out of his room.

And eversince then, things were back to the silent treatment with the two of us. We couldn't seem to look at one another without the memory of being bound so tightly that we'd been in each other's minds, hearts... I was sure I'd touched his soul, even. Something inside me stung whenever I remembered the way he had looked right before the spell. In the faint gleam of the candlelight, his green eyes could tell dissertations...

"Sydney!" Angeline had made her way up to me and was now snapping her fingers in front of my face. "Can I slap her?" She asked, "Sometimes in movies when they go all still, they slap 'em!" She concluded, shrugging. I took a cauious step away, Mrs. T glared.

Finally I rolled my eyes, trying to steer my mind away from all of those thoughts and focusing on what was happening in the present. I smiled at Mrs. T, gathering all the strength I could muster at the moment. "I'm glad to have you back." She smiled calmly, "Ah, yes. Well it is wonderful to see all of you, too. I have so much to tell you all! But first, I'd like to know if all of you completed the tasks you had been given?"

We all nodded obidiently. Mrs. T raised an eyebrow at me, "You conducted the spell successfully?" Adrian scoffed, "Success would be an understatement. Passed it with flying colours, more like." Mrs. T looked doubtful, "Really? What information did you gather?"

Again, our eyes met, and some kind of telepathic understanding seemed to have been made. We explained everything that was related to Ivy, but kept the rest of our experiences sealed away deep in our brains. That was private information. Adrian explained his encounter with Rose, mine had been similar, but my guide had been my mother, for some reason. She had shown me what the world would look like if Ivy's plans worked. She also kept warning me that I had 'farther to go' and 'lots to do'. Tons of surreal rambling that I did not register. It was almost like my strange dream.

She had mentioned some other fairly unpleasant stuff about our big bad foe, however. Mrs. Terwilliger's preceding words only confirmed my fears. "I spoke to the elder witch with the ancient roots, the one I told you all about, and she had some striking information..." Eddie frowned, "Did you learn anything important? Can I fight her?"

"I don't know," Mrs. T admitted. "She's variously attributed as having incredible strength, speed, et cetera - much like a very powerful Strigoi, although she prefers not to engage in physical confrontations. There's some indication that either she's a shapeshifter, or that she can cast illusions and glamours. She possesses some control over the elements, ice, wind, water and air. And she wants more. She wants to consume all the Moroi magic and she plans to use spirit as her ultimate weapon. She's also a powerful telekinetic. She could probably stop you in your tracks, then toss you around like a beachball without - without even lifting a finger."

For a few minutes, there was complete silence.

"That's reassuring." Angeline muttered dryly. "Found out about the telekinesis thing the hard way," Adrian said, probably thinking back about the time she had literally frozen him in place during his 'dream' rendezvous with her. "What about things that damage her? Enchanted weapons? Something? There has to be... something." I offered.

Mrs. T looked rueful. "I do not know of such a thing yet. I have my entire coven on research. Viable information is scarce and far between." I sighed, getting a better look at her for the first time since she was back. God, she looked terrible. Worse than she did last time. Her hair was messier than usual, her glasses lay crooked atop her nose, she had bags under her tired eyes and her face was all... droopy. She looked worn out, like she hadn't slept in days. Thinner too, slightly pale, sullen... sickly. I frowned.

"Mrs. Terwilliger, have you been using magic?" I had to ask. Her mouth opened to speak, then closed again. I had a feeling she wanted to dodge this string of conversation, but the determined expression that I felt like I was wearing probably stopped her from that. "I have been working. The witches in my coven and I have been working on something. A wall of magic. It's basically like a shield. Clearly, whatever she has been doing, her target or source of power is right here in Palm Springs. The shield won't keep her off our backs forever, but it will restrain her temporarily."

"Oh, wonderful," Angeline said. "So we aren't stopping the apocalypse, just postponding it." Eddie shot Angeline a sharp look and immediately, she bit her tongue. "Sorry." Mrs. T sighed, taking a seat on the chair from where she had stood up to greet us and began polishing her glasses again. "No, it is true. The wall is draining much out of us, I am afraid."

There was pain shooting through my chest. I knew that my affiliation with Mrs. T had been purely business, but I felt respect for the older woman. And... I cared about her. "How long will the wall hold?" I questioned. She looked dubious, "A week. A week and a half, at best." I bit into the side of my cheek to keep from bawling my palms into fists. "What if I help? I'm younger than most of your coven sisters. Maybe you could teach me the spell."

Mrs. T shook her head vigorously, signalling for Jill to hand her the cup of coffee she was drinking. Jill didn't even hesitate to hand it to her. She probably finished the rest of the cup before looking back at me. "No, I'm afraid your efforts are needed elsewhere, Miss Melrose." I nodded no, "But it's draining your powers! It's making you weak. Maybe I could do better!"

"It doesn't matter child. You have plenty of other tasks. You needn't worry." She reassured me. Too bad I wasn't in the mood to be that considerate. I couldn't believe how much it was taking out of her. "I will be fine," she repeated, "In fact, I will probably need your services again soon. How often can you children come here?"

"We can come between classes!" Jill suggested, excited. I nodded along. "Usually I use that time to copy over my class notes with a system of different colored pens, but it's been pointed out to me that that's a little insane. So..."

"I said 'quirky'," Adrian pointed out. Everyone chuckled lightly, even under all the tension.

Somehow, even Mrs. T was repressing a smile. "Great..." her cellphone begun to ring. "I have to take this, I'm afraid, but we can continue this meeting tomorrow for sure. There are a few more matters that we must... clear up." With that, she picked it up and excused herself.

Everyone knew that it was their cue to leave.

xxxxx

Nobody seemed to want to stick around after all the dissapointing news. I didn't think I was going to be able to, either. Quite frankly, my stomach twisted into a knot everytime I thought about this whole Ivy predicament. We were a bunch of amateurs, if ancient witches and experienced covens couldn't muster the power it took to wipe her out... How did I stand a chance? We weren't enough, Adrian and I.

We weren't even on talking terms, not exactly, anyway. I sat curled up on Mrs. T's table, reading one of her books, Jill and the rest had taken a ride home with Neil, who now had the permission to drive. It was a good thing, too. Whenever I was busy, I think Adrian was having a tough time lugging everyone around. I was hesitant at first; handing the keys to my brand new car to Neil, but I managed to convince myself that he would take utmost care and gave it to him despite my doubts.

I'd stuck around to continue some research, not that I'd found anything. Surprisingly, Adrian had followed suit. Mrs. T was out buying magical supplies and meeting up with her coven sisters, so the two of us were alone in her house. We were supposed to lock up and leave when we were done. He was sprawled out on the couch behind me, a black cat was nibbling at the hem of his t-shirt. He held a book at his chest, keeping it upright with the help of his chin; and although to someone else he probably looked engrossed in the book... I caught all the stolen glances coming my way.

I sighed, we had been trying to research for over an hour and a half now, and still somehow we were coming up empty-handed. I groaned, slamming one of the books shut and picking up another at the top of the other piles that awaited me. I yawned.

"You're allowed to take a break, you know," Adrian's voice was neutral, but he sounded genuine. "I can take over for a bit." Those were probably the longest two sentences that he had spoken to me in the last four days. I bit my lip, I was tired and I knew it, but I also knew him very well. "You hate to read." I reminded him.

He sighed, shaking his head like I was a toddler who didn't understand the ways of the world. "That's true, Sage. All these big, dusty books give me a headache. But tonight I'm determined and if I have to beat the answers out of one of these pages, so help me, I will." He delivered the words with his trademark lazy grin, but I could feel it, the utter vigor that sparked within him.

"Why?" I squeaked, afraid of his answer. He took his time with the response. "I don't know. I've personally experienced the Hell Bitch's many charms, and I like our world the way it is; averting the apocalypse sounds like the smart thing to do. Plus, wouldn't I look great on the cover of Forbes magazine? Say if we do manage to save the world and all." His eyes gleamed. "We could be on Ellen! We could meet Oprah!" I stifled a chuckle. "Down boy." I mumbled. He gave me a toothy grin, it was so warm and so Adrian...

I smiled a little, some of the tension that had so evidently built up between us eversince we'd cast that spell seemed to abate a little. I finally stood up, stretched and then shut all the books. I stuffed some of the important ones in my bag for later reference, and picked out a few for Adrian to sift through, too. "Let's go," I told him, glancing at the window. "It's getting quite dark. I have a feeling we're headed for a storm."

Despite all his keenness, I could tell that he was almost as worn out as I was. His eyes glittered, "Thought you'd never say that. This house is starting to give me the creeps." He shot off the couch, and we were out the door within seconds.

xxxxx

The weather was worse than I'd thought.

It had gotten nastier all day, with storm clouds blanketing the sky and a bone chilling wind coming out of the north. The scent of coming snow made the air smell strange and no one seemed to want to be outdoors. Except us, of course. I was wearing a thick jumper and a scarf as well, I was thoroughly bundled up. Still, I couldn't shake the goosebumps going up and down my spine. I rubbed my palms together. We had to walk the way home, since the car was with the rest of the gang.

It was downright gelid and extremely depressing. It didn't feel real, it all felt a bit too unnatural; wrong. Adrian was lighting a cigarette. He looked ghastly pale in the surreal weather, his cheeks slightly sullen - snatched of their natural glow. I coughed, swatting at the smoke as he breathed out. "Sorry," he muttered, "I just needed it today. I've been trying to cut down, I swear."

I bit my tongue, but the words were already out. "I understand." Adrian stopped dead in his tracks and I had to turn around swiftly to make sure I hadn't lost him in the fog. "What?" I tilted my head, "You've been acting so different lately. You used to get mad at me for these kinds of things and now, you'll just dismiss them. The other day, you didn't get upset even though I was so drunk I could barely stand. And then again now, with the cigarette. You've been weird, Sage. Ever since that... Night."

I sighed. What was I supposed to tell him? That I did feel like I could understand him after the things I'd seen? There were periods of his life that had been so... dark. Nobody deserved that kind of pain. And he carried it along with him, all day, everyday. But nobody would know.

Nobody would know how courageous and strong he was. For being able to keep all those tumultuous emotions bottled up inside like that, I was astonished he didn't spontaneously combust. There was so much, so much emotion warring on inside of him. So much gloom and despair... "It comes with the Adrian Ivashkov package. Free for all." He'd once told me. I'd laughed it off then, but it was true. The side of the coin that he didn't see, however, was the side that I saw. He also had other quality traits within him. So much love, warmth and compassion.

It was suffocating him.

He had all these constant insecurities. Born in a wealthy family who saw him as more of a nuisance than a son, dumped by the first girl that he had given his heart, body and soul to; and the darkness. The darkness that rested inside of him that came enlaced with his spirit ability. Spirit was his escape sometimes. But he knew that it would eventually drive him mad. He didn't care about that, though. Because he thought that he was doing the world a favor. He thought that using his powers to save the lives of others was all the good he'd ever do.

And he was so wrong.

He was intelligent and creative and... he had an electric soul. He wanted to leave a mark on the world, but due to the circumstances, he eventually had to adapt. Which was why he relied on his cigarettes and his alcohol. He needed something. Not only to snuff out the spirit; but to numb the pain and the agony and the heartbreak.

I understood him now. So well. It was hard to meet his eyes without bursting into tears. I had been neglecting my feelings ever since I'd come back to Palm Springs, but I couldn't do that any longer. That spell had not only brought old feelings swimming back to the surface; it had also created more.

Only love swelled up in my heart for him when I looked at him. It was difficult, to see him as a person that was individual and not truly attached to me. Because I'd felt it. Like he had been connected to me, like he had been a part of me. I didn't believe in soulmates and prince charmings; but Adrian was becoming something so much more.

He was turning into a part of who I was. My anchor. The ticking clock that always kept me going. My reminder. One that kept me grounded. My home. Someone who I felt safe with; when I was with him, it was like I was at peace. And... my friend. Someone who had watched out for me, took care of me, etched me on when I was down...

"I argued with you because I never understood the things you did," I began, deciding to be honest. "I never understood why you smoked that cigarette or why you had to keep making the same mistakes over and over again. But that night... it was like a revelation, Adrian. It solved the endless puzzle that you were to me. And now... that I feel you, I get you. I can't help but show you my compassion."

He was quiet for a long while and we had stopped walking. "It's weird, Sage. You being so nice to me. But... I get it, what you mean. The part about understanding the things I did? I feel like that, too. That night really opened my eyes to who you are as a person." He frowned, and spoke up again, "Not that I didn't know who you are, I did, just - never truly, got to know you, right? I guess nobody ever does truly know someone. Not in this way... Until they've been in each other's heads."

I nodded in agreement. We started to walk again, in silence for a little while, just relishing in each other's presence until Adrian did something strange. And before I could even predict what he was about to do, he grabbed the back of my coat collar and pulled it away from my neck, then dumped a handful of cold snow down my back.

I shrieked. "Hey!" I whirled towards him, shivering and trying to shake the snow out. "What was that for?"

He smiled mischievously, "Elating up the mood. Five more minutes and dramatic Opera music was gonna start blasting out." He chuckled. Ugh. Infuriating jerk. Had I really just been thinking about going easy on him literally a minute ago? Before I knew it, I was scooping up a handful of snow, packing it into a loose ball and tossing it in his face. I was fast, but he was faster, and simply dodged it out of the way. "Oh, come on, Sage. You can do better than that."

"Challenge accepted," I promised, and dove for another handful just as he darted back further amid the deserted streets. He crouched behind a red car and sent a cannonball of snow hurtling towards me. It smacked my shoulder. It was too loose to hurt, but cold enough to leave me groaning and sputtering, right as one more came my way and hit me exactly in the face. Oh, that's it. It's on now.

"Keep up, Sage!" He called, darting through the alleyways. I laughed, running after him. The air against my face was cold and crisp; and what felt dismal only a little while back now felt inviting and dare I say... fun. Sydney Katherine Sage having a real, live snowball fight. The folks back home probably wouldn't buy it if they saw me do it right in front of their eyes.

We darted between the alleyways, using cars and trashcans for cover as we pelted each other. Mine tended to be nicely packed snowballs that, when they hit, exploded against his coat. His weren't so cohesive, sometimes falling apart before impact. But when they did, they splattered, leaving me coated in fine dust. I couldn't tell if he was deliberately packing them loose to keep me from getting hurt or if he was just horrible at throwing snowballs. He was taunting me from behind another car, spewing empty threats and hilariously lame catch phrases. I realized he was at a disadvantage, he boasted too much; pretentious as he could be.

Huh. Good to know.

I lost track of how long we drew our battle. He was slightly faster than I was the entire time, and his longer legs let him break through the drifts easier than me. He wasn't exactly an athlete though; and I was lighter and could run across the crust fast enough that I didn't step through it. It was almost an even fight, though. He was fast and funny and a surprisingly strong opponent, I was more tactical, using quick time and distance calculations to plot my attacks. And before I knew it, I was laughing at his taunts and breathless from exertion and... having way more fun that I thought I ought to be. Especially under the circumstances.

This was the first time that all this snow had been a good thing, and I was reluctant to stop. My cheeks were flushed and my nose and fingers were numb, when I finally snuck up behind him, pouncing and pushing him down into a drift. He spun as he fell, catching me around the waist and yanking me down with him just as I smushed a handful of snow into his laughing face. We rolled around for a minute, then came to a halt, both of us chuckling and shaking snow out of our eyes.

That's when I realized how we had landed. He was on top of me, straddling my hips, his long jacket half caught beneath me and pinning him there. His hands were fisted and planted in the drift on either side of my head, and his face... his face was only inches away from my own. Snowflakes were caught in his heavy lashes and in his eyebrows. He was still grinning, shaking his head like a dog and showering me with more flakes. The moonlight turned his skin to a strange blue color. His dark hair had specks of crystallized snowflakes caught in them; giving the illusion of sparkles. His jade green eyes swiveled until they met my own. We were both breathing hard and fast. My heart was racing so hard inside my chest, I could have been having a heart attack. His minty breath was warm on my face. And for a minute... I almost forgot about all the complications and troubles we had. For a minute, I couldn't decide whether I wanted to press his lips to mine or just hold him there and stare at him forever. Because he was... well, he looked... beautiful.

Only now he'd sobered and was staring down at me, his expression soft and curious and intense all at once. For too long we just stayed that way, his eyes dark and unreadable as he stared into mine.

Get up. Wake up. Snap out of this trance. A logical voice in my head mused. But for a moment, I wasn't sure I knew what that word meant. I knew that my brain was somewhere in there... I just... had to... find it.

His lashes dipped as his gaze fell to my mouth, and I realized that I'd parted my lips slightly and I was breathing funny. The butterflies in my stomach were having a gymnastics contest. Adrian glanced back up at me, through those snow fringed lashes, and there was something in his eyes now that made me nervous and excited... and I couldn't help but shiver, knowing that he was about to kiss me and I should be pushing him off.

I should push him off because I cannot lead him on. But after everything we've been through... Maybe I should've thrown caution to the wind and given this another go. Given us another go. Maybe it wasn't the right time then, but maybe it was now. I knew him now, better than anyone else. His deepest regrets, his darkest fears, the happiest moments in his life. One of them had been the first time that the two of us had kissed. It had been... breath-taking. It had felt like the world had stood still, stopped spinning... simply waiting for the two of us to give it command. He'd smelt so good. His lips had been so soft and dizzying... He kissed like it was the end of the world and he had twenty seconds left to live. It had left me light-headed, almost at bliss. And there was more we could do...

Denial was pointless. I wasn't leading him on, now when I knew in my heart that I loved this guy. More than I had ever loved anything in the world. I was about to lean in closer, jerk myself upright and kiss him till the sun came up, only... I didn't have to.

Suddenly, he was frowning, the weirdest look of concern struck his face. "You're cold," he murmured. "Come on," he rolled off me, pulling his coat out from under me then reaching for my hands to help me stand.

I stood, but I was still a little wobbly. My knees were extremely weak. I was not going to think about how bereft I felt without him on top of me. I would not.

And... and if anyone should have broken that... whatever it was, it should have been me. Not him! Me. I groaned, staggering as we traipsed quietly back towards the track that led to Amberwood. "My apartment's closer. You could stay there tonight. I mean... Wouldn't want you to wake up with Hypothermia, would we?" Adrian said.

I was quite sure I was only half-listening. I was still lost in thought, dazed by that drunken need to kiss him, to feel his skin contacting with mine. All those nostalgic feelings were back and they'd brought friends. I felt strangely... humiliated. "God, what was that? It was wrong. Lives are at risk and we're - fooling around." Adrian groaned, like he'd seen this coming. "It's called having fun. All we did was add a little levity to our oh-so-serious lives. No harm done, right?" He muttered. I sighed, still trying to shake the feeling that was only getting worse.

I didn't realize that he had led me up to his apartment until we were down his building. "What is this?" I asked. He rolled his eyes, "My apartment."

"Yes. I know that. Why?"

"Because, like I said earlier, I think it's closer so its better for your health. You are literally looking sickly, Sage. I'll make you a cup of nice hot chocolate and you can even take the bed." That did sound nice, I had to admit. But that was taking a big step, wasn't it? Adrian Ivashkov and beds were always a risky combination. For better or for worse, my fatigue got the better of me and I surrendered.

As he opened the door to his apartment, the smell of perfume and more clove mints wafted through. It smelt sweet and intoxicating at the same time. Just like him. "You should go get freshened up, I'll fix the heaters and make you something hot."

I didn't even protest. "Can it be coffee?"

He grinned, "Why, of course."

In a tired, drone-like manner, I made my way to the bathroom. I was surprised when even his bathroom smelt good. It even looked organized, which came as slight of a shock considering Adrian wasn't exactly the most spick and span. I stared at myself in the mirror. Droplets of slowly melting ice crystals hung in my hair, they looked unkept and frizzy; sticking about everywhere. The clothes under my layers of winter wear were ruffled and wrinkly. So I stepped out and asked him if I could take a quick shower.

It was strange. Taking a shower in Adrian's bathroom.

The water was extremely hot, and it scorched my skin a little bit, but I didn't mind - it felt good and soothing. My body ached from all the running around all day, and my eyes felt heavy. I stepped out of the bathroom in a towel, almost having a panic attack when I realized I didn't have anything to wear. Adrian, however, the master of chivalry that he was, had left me a comfy looking long blue shirt to put on. I slipped it on, it fell just a little above my knees, I was slightly insecure about being half-naked around him, but I was too worn out to protest or complain.

When I was out, Adrian walked over to me and handed me a steaming cup of coffee. I smiled at him genuinely, telling him that I was grateful as I chugged it down. The hot liquid felt nourishing to my stomach and pacifying against my throat.

I curled up on the couch and we sat there for a while. He sat on the couch opposite to mine until I finally broke the silence. "You look almost as tired as I am. You should go get cleaned up." I suggested, he shook his head no. "I can do that once you're asleep."

I stared out the window for a while, the heater had been turned up so I didn't feel cold, but I could tell the weather outside had been picking up the pace since we had left. "Adrian..." I started, about two minutes later. He looked up, his eyes curious. "Yeah?" his voice was soft.

"That spell... It was frustrating and scary but I feel like it brought us even closer together. Like, maybe it's a blessing in disguise. Maybe it means something..." my voice trailed off. I bit the side of my cheek so hard at my anxiousness that I was surprised I didn't draw blood.

"Maybe." He responded.

He bit his lip. "And maybe not. I... was talking to Jailbait earlier, you know. And she was so full of this hope that I would succeed and make the stars align for us all or something. And... It got me thinking." I nodded, listening carefully. "I can't do it. I... I don't think I have it in me, Sydney. I'm slipping... the spirit, it's getting harder to deal with everyday. I mean, it's like everyday I'm being drawn a little closer towards my ultimate descent into darkness. And I... I just don't want to leave a trail of causalities that go down with me. I don't think I can handle it - people having faith in me." His voice cracked, and I could tell that he was earnest.

"I have faith in you," I pointed out instantly. "There's nothing wrong with that. And you've come this far, Adrian. You can't... You don't just give up. Not now." I urged.

He shook his head, unconvinced. "Maybe this was what Rose was talking about. I'm no Dimitri Belikov. I haven't saved the world a countless times. I'm not a Russian warlord. I'm not the hero in the red cape who saves the day. And I can't..." His voice trailed off again, his jaw clenched and he bawled his fists. My heart felt like it was going to explode. I stared at him, incredulous for the first few moments. I was sick of it. His self-loathing and his modestness. If only he could understand... I didn't want Dimitri. I didn't want anyone that wasn't him.

"How can you even say that?" My voice came out high-pitched. "You got a one way ticket into my head, Adrian! Didn't you see the way I felt about you? The way I saw you? Why can't you see it? The beauty in you, how special you really are. Why do you have to keep doing this to yourself?" I was practically pleading him to stop. His eyes grew wide, but he managed to mask the rest of his alarm. "Yes, and after my journey to the center of Sydney, that was when I realized that you were the one person that saw it. The good in me. You are the one person, Sage - who refuses to give up on me. Even my father basically announced that I was a useless piece of shit but then you came along and I just... I don't think I deserve it. You. Everything that is you."

"Why?" Now my voice was cracking.

"I don't know - because you are... smart, brilliant and an amazing person. Strong enough to hold the weight of the world on your shoulders, even when you're crumbling inside. And you're just so pure and good, it lights you up from the inside till you almost glow so bright it burns."

The butterflies were now in their somersaulting phase. I was pretty sure it would go on forever. I wanted to cry again. These past few days, I'd relived everything that we had been through before I'd selfishly taken off for Mexico. The ups and downs, the happiness and the tears. All of it. And Adrian's words... they made me feel like I was going to burst into a big bubble of emotions. My life had been fairly uneventful until he had come around and turned it all on its head. I thought that he was the one that burned bright.

"I don't know, Sage. Sometimes when I talk to you... I got to see everything during my dream trip, and it was incredible. I had to bite my tongue every so often to keep from speaking, to keep from telling you how amazing you were when you were trying to protect your sister. Putting your own life on hold to let her live hers in harmony."

I shivered, goosebumps were practically all over my body now. And they weren't because of the cold. "Dream walking was strange, wasn't it?" I mumbled, because what could I respond to words like that? Nothing would ever measure up. There were tears already beginning to prick at my eyelids. I had to squeeze my eyes shut repeatedly to keep them from spilling.

He laughed at that. "I didn't get the walking tour. Next time, I'll tell Rose my dream guide that I'd rather have that than Wonka's Great Glass Elevator."

I grinned, staring back down at my feet. "We should give it a try, Adrian. I want to be with you. And I... I know it's not going to be a cake walk, but we've survived all kinds of insane things right. What's another to add to the list?"

I was aware of what I was doing. But for once, I didn't care. I had never not cared.

I couldn't let it pass me by. I couldn't let him pass me by. I wanted to feel the pleasure of his skin against mine once more, I wanted to have all those late-night conversations we spent snapping and bantering and reciting poems to each other. Even the both of us planning strategies with Mrs. T. I wanted it all, and I wanted it all with him.

"I.. I know," he looked a bit floored. "God, you have no idea how long I've been waiting to hear you say that, Sage."

I smiled at him. "You must promise me something, Adrian. You have to work on yourself. But you won't give up. All this self-doubt and self-loathing has to go away." He looked conflicted.

"Listen to me," I said, "You are the sort of person that I can count on having by my side, through thick and thin. To watch my back. The sort that I can just... be myself with, not having to hide any part of me. Not even the bits that make me self-conscious."

Adrian smiled back, "That's a relief. Because I don't want just Sydney Sage, you know. I'm a greedy bastard. I want the whole package, faults and all."

xxxxx

I wasn't sure for how long we sat there then, just talking away until we were so extremely tired that we were falling asleep. Somehow, we had made it back to his bedroom and I'd tucked myself into bed. "The blanket should be comfy enough. Holler if you need anything. Don't let the bed bugs bite." He was about to turn on his heel to leave, but I stopped him.

"Adrian," my voice was hoarse. He turned around. "Yeah?" I sighed, biting my lip before letting the words out. "Will you..." my voice trailed off. He blinked.

"Can you just... hold me?"

He tried to conceal his astonishment, but didn't look like he was complaining. "Sure." He replied as he made his way towards the bed. He walked towards me so gingerly, as if he were approaching an alligator. I thought he noticed me staring at him quizzically, because he rectified that almost immediately. He took off his jacket and left it to rest on the table opposite to the bed. It was comfortable and spacious, so I shifted in a little for him to be able to squeeze in. He rested his head on the pillow next to mine. With a sigh, I snuggled closer. He wrapped an arm around my shoulders and tucked me up against his chest. We were laying down now. He was solid and fit around me just as nicely as I remembered. He smelt like leather, expensive perfume and snow and alcohol. It was a strangely comforting scent. Drowsy, I settled in, wrapping an arm around him. Beneath my arm his stomach was flat and ridged with muscles, under his cotton t-shirt. Under my ear, I could feel his heart beating inside his chest, and it was... loud and pounding.

"Your heart's beating really fast." I whispered softly.

I think he was aware of that. I felt him chuckle, it rumbled inside his chest. "Sorry." I smiled against him and was awake for a few more minutes, simply content next to him. Momentarily, all my worries had dissapeared and I could pretend just for one night that we led a normal life. I wanted to stay like this forever. Freeze this moment in time like they did in movies. That would be nice. I could be in his arms forever.

I felt him drift off to sleep before me, both his breathing and his heart rate steadying down. His lips rested atop my head. I felt like I was in heaven. Like I was safe.

One night.

One night to pretend that we weren't Sydney Sage the human witch and Adrian Ivashkov the Moroi spirit user trying to operate under society's constraints.

We were just two regular people in love. Two broken things. And didn't broken things belong with other broken things?

Just...

For one night.