I open my eyes and see only white. My vision is blurry but there is definite movement around me.
"Welcome back," a woman with a shaved head says to me. I start to sit up but she pushes me back down. "No way. You need to lie down. I don't think you have a concussion, but you should still rest."

"Where am I?" I ask. I've never seen any place this brightly lit or white anywhere in the Dauntless compound.
"The infirmary. Do you remember what happened?"
Yes. I just guaranteed myself a place at the bottom of the ranks. "I was hit," I say instead.
"Good. And what's your name?"
"Tris."
"Perfect. You might as well stay until 6 and get some rest while you can. There will be plenty of time to get beat up in the following weeks. Take these pills. They'll help with the headache and minimize your bruising."
"Thanks." I sip some water and swallow the pills.
"My names Lynn. Just hit that red button over there if you need anything," she says as she walks out of my room. The clock in my room says 4:45, which means I was knocked out for over two hours. Yet another amazing accomplishment to add to my list. I decide to take Lynn up on her advice and make myself as comfortable as I can.

I hear the door close and open my eyes. I look around, but my room is empty. 6:30. I press the red button and Lynn shows up. "How are you feeling?"
"Sore, but fine I guess."
"Yeah. You took one hell of a beating I was told." I look down, ashamed. "Hey. If you would believe it, I got my ass kicked on the first day too. But if you tell anyone that, I'll kill you," she says with a smile. "I think you can go now. Find your friends and have some dinner, but take it easy for the rest of the night."
"Okay. Thank you," I say.
"Oh, one more thing. Your instructor came by. Wanted me to tell you 2 ½ minutes when you woke up, whatever that means."

I smile.

I make my way through the cafeteria, eager to see Christina and Will and find out what happened after I left. I can't say I'm surprised, but it's still shocking to me when I see people kiss in public. If it weren't for their different skin colors, I don't think I would be able to tell where her face ends and his begins. I don't really know what to do or how to get their attention, so I just sort of stare at the ground and clear my throat.

"Tris!" Christina says, out of breath. "We were worried about you. Everything okay?"
"Yeah. Just bruised and unconscious. I'm fine. So, uhhh...you two...," I still don't know what to say.
"Oh. Yeah. You know. It just sorta happens," Christina says, brushing Will's hair behind his ear.
"Not really."
"Right. Sorry. I don't mean to make you uncomfortable Tris. Don't worry about being a third wheel or anything, okay?"
"Okay," I say, even though I have no idea what she's talking about.
"Come on. Let's go get your food and I'll tell you all about it."

The 'it' I was expecting was training, but Christina's 'it' was how she flirted with Will and their subsequent make-out session. It's cute how she gets so animated when she talks. I want to shy away when she talks about Will, but I don't. I figure this is going to happen at some point in my life, so I might as well learn what I can.
I'm listening to her go on about how warm his lips are when I hear, "Tris. A word in my office. Now." I look over my shoulder and see Four.

This is it. I'm done for.

I get up to a sympathetic look from Christina, and it actually angers me.
"Don't," I say, pointing a finger at her. At first I can tell she's a little shocked to see me like this, but she just smiles and gives me a wink.
I turn to Four and say, "If you're going to kick me out, you can just do it here. They're going to find out anyways."

If looks could kill, I would be dead.

He turns and walks away, saying nothing, so I follow. We walk through the pit to a set of elevators I never even noticed before. He presses the number 13 once we're inside. We exit into a long hallway with doors all along both sides, numerically in order. We reach the very last door, 1350, when he takes a set of keys out of his pocket. He opens the door and gestures for me to go in. I hesitate for a moment; this clearly is not an office. But curiosity gets the best of me, and I go in.

The door closes behind me and it's pitch black. I hear him shuffle to my right and the flip of a switch. It's not much brighter, but I can see that it's definitely a bedroom. A messy, dirty bedroom.
"Sorry. I wasn't expecting company," he says.
"Weren't expecting company? You're the one who practically drug me up here," I snap.
"Well I have been trying to figure out a way to get you alone since you got here without rousing too much suspicion," he snaps back.
"Alone? For what? So you can criticize me and call me Stiff in private too?"
"What? No! Do you think I enjoy that? I can't let on that I know you or show you any special treatment. I have been trying my best to find a way to ask you just what in the hell you are doing here?"
"Why? It's not like you care."
"Beatrice? What has gotten into you?"
"It's Tris. I would think you of all people would know about and respect why someone would want to change their name, Four," I say with more venom than I meant too. "Besides. What did you expect me to do, stay in Abnegation?"
"No. I don't know. I expected you to stay safe. And Dauntless is not the place for that."
"Again, what do you care? You left me, remember?" I say coldly, poking his chest. He snatches my hand up and squeezes it, hard. I yank back, but I am no match for his strength. "Let go!" I yell as I thrash around.

I see the look in his face change and he immediately lets go. "I'm sorry Tris. I didn't mean to. It's just I don't want to see you get hurt, and there's only so much I can do to protect you here."
"I don't need your help. And I certainly don't need your protection. Am I in trouble or not, Four?" Saying his name right now leaves a sour taste in my mouth.
"No," he says as he plops down on his bed. He puts his head down in his hands, and I can't help but see that boy from all those years ago; the hurt and the defeat radiating from every cell in his body.
"Then I'm leaving."
"Tris, please. Can we at least talk?"
"No."

I turn and leave, slamming the door on my way out. The Abnegation inside of me is screaming out, begging to go back and comfort him; listen to his reasons. But the Dauntless inside is winning. Telling me to make my own path, fight my own battles. Find my independence on my own. Tears well up in my eyes as I wait for the elevator, but they are not sad tears, no. They are tears of strength and fire and willpower. Tears that remind me of my desire to succeed.

I head back to the dorm, clearing my mind of what just happened and put a stern look on my face.
"Come to pack your things, Stiff?" Peter remarks, laughing and getting a high five from Molly.
"Actually Peter, I came to give you your award for, what was it? Getting your ass kicked the fastest?" I quip back.
The room goes silent for a moment before erupting in laughter. Peter sulks back into his bed, embarrassed.
"Whoa there! Who are you and where is Tris?" Will asks, clapping me on the shoulder.
"She's right here. It just took her a little longer than the rest of us to break out of her shell," Christina says, shoving Will and giving me a huge smile.

The next couple weeks of training are uneventful. Defensive moves. Offensive moves. Learning how to hold and throw a knife. Target practice with guns. Lots of time punching the bags and beating each other up. I still lose every fight, but I can feel myself getting stronger. The bag actually moves now when I hit it. I even managed to get a good hit in and knock one of Molly's teeth loose. We celebrated by having just cake for dinner that night.

This morning we gather in the waiting room and wait until Four invites us in. "Today you will be spending one on one time with me on the punching bags. I will tell you your weaknesses and show you moves to overcome them. When you are not with me, you will spend your time rotating partners and practicing the moves you have been taught on each other without actually fighting. Will, you're up."

Christina and I pair up, hitting and kicking through the basic moves. Her strength and precision are admirable.
"How do you do it? I ask her.
"Do what?
"This. You're very good at it. I can't imagine they do this sort of thing in Candor. Or do they?"
"Shh. Secret Candor fight club," she says with a wink.

It's when she's called up that I have to take on the last person to leave Four; Peter.
"Oh good. I felt like kicking your ass today, Stiff," he says just low enough to not catch anyone else's attention.
We are supposed to be practicing just the moves, but he punches me, hard. I'm trying to act like it didn't affect me, but I was completely caught off guard. I can barely breathe; my stomach contracting and threatening to reject this mornings breakfast. I see him take a quick look around and hit me again, this time catching the side of my head.

I refuse to be treated like his personal punching bag.

I kick his legs hard, knocking him off balance just enough to shove him down on the mat. "Who. Do. You. Think. You. Are?" I say, kicking him in syllables with all the strength I can muster.
Peter, trying to save face, cowers and screams, "I didn't do anything! Get this crazy bitch off of me!"
I feel a pair of strong hands grab my waist and hoist me off the ground. "Tris!" Four yells, "Enough!" He walks across the room and firmly plants me on the ground. "Don't move." As he walks back to Christina, he yells out, "Who told you to stop?" Everyone immediately puts their heads down and starts getting back to practicing.

I spend my time pacing, watching everyone spar and take their lessons. I'm actually a bit happy I'm over here. I can take this time to recover. Four is with Molly now, leaving just me to have my private lesson. Another fabulous round of you're never going to make it is on it's way, I'm sure.

"Tris, let's go." I sigh and take my time walking to him.
"I want you to show me all the moves you've learned, starting with offensive." I make my fists and start hitting the bag, going through all the different moves. "Your arms are weak. Now kick." I glare at him and start kicking the bag, imagining it was his face. "Better. Now instead of wishing it were me, wish it were Peter." I glare again, but I hit and kick with all my might.

"Good. Your muscles are still forming, so you don't have the capacity to take your opponents down like the rest of your peers. So for the time being, use your knees and elbows. You can get more power behind them. You are quicker than you think; use it to your advantage. Strike first and strike hard. It will buy you some time and allow you to find your opponents weaknesses. Now show me." I bring a knee up to the bag and watch it sway farther than it ever has before. Not only is it more effective, it hurts less; the elbow, not so much. "You need to keep your body rigid, otherwise you make yourself vulnerable to attacks." He places his hand on my stomach, "Here especially. You wouldn't be in so much pain right now if you did it earlier."

His touch sends a small jolt of electricity through me. I find myself looking into his eyes when what he said finally registers. "Wait, you saw him hit me?"
"I see everything you do."
Normally I would blush, but I'm too angry at this point. "And yet you did nothing." His eyes shift ever so slightly towards the other initiates. "Don't worry. I won't cause a scene. Wouldn't want the ever perfect Four to look like he can't control the Stiff, right?"
He stares at me for a moment before calling out, "Peter! Front and center.".

I watch as Peter approaches Four, a smug look on his face. "Tris. Show me what I have taught you today."
Peter looks amused. "Oh goody. Now we can have a fair fight."
"Who said anything about a fight? I asked Tris to show me what I taught her."
"Wait. So I'm just supposed to stand here and let her hit me again?" he screams.
"Guess you should have thought about that earlier," Four says, leaning in so only Peter and I can hear him.

I smile at the stunned look on Peter's face. As much as I would like to pulverize him where he stands, the satisfaction would be greater if I won my fight outright. "No," I respond. "I would like to fight Peter."
Four looks at me, considering the options. "Fine. Show me."
"With pleasure," I say, advancing on Peter.

He's slightly off balance when I come at him, fists raised.
First weakness.
I hesitate too long, debating on knees or elbows, and he strikes first.
Self doubt, my first weakness.
It's a solid punch to the jaw, so I drop, feigning injury. I'm on all fours when I see him pulling his foot back. In one swift move I roll into a standing position. His leg is still in motion when I spin, elbowing him in the side of his nose. His eyes clench shut from the pain.
Second weakness.
I kick his legs as hard as I can. It's not enough to take him down, but it is enough to make him stumble. I bring my knee up somewhere between his groin and his navel. He screams out in pain and drops to his knees.
Third weakness.
I'm bringing my knee back for another hit when he lunges. We both fall to the ground, him on top of me. "You bitch!" He screams in my face, holding my wrists and pinning me to the ground.

We didn't train for a situation like this.

I try to remain calm but he is gnashing his teeth together; spitting in my face while mumbling something unintelligible, and I know that he has lost it. I watch as he slowly brings his head back as far as he can. I take a deep breath in and trust in myself. He brings his head down hard and fast. I do my best to move to the side but there isn't enough room. His head collides with the side of mine and the pain is blinding, but I counted on Peter to react with only emotions, and I was right. His poor planning carried his face right into the mat. I shove him off me and sit up, head spinning. I watch Peter slowly make his way upright and I follow. He is worse shape than I am.
Fourth weakness.
I punch as hard as I can. My fist. His throat. This time, he stays down.

"Well, well. Who knew the Stiff had it in her?" I turn to see Eric watching, smiling. "See initiates. This is why you never underestimate your opponent. You don't have to be the biggest or have the most muscle to win. You just need to be smarter than you opponent."
He looks down at Peter, a cruel grin spreading over his face. "Rankings are coming out soon. It would be beneficial for you to remember this lesson." Just before he leaves the room, he dismisses us all for lunch.

"Tris, a moment," Four says as we start to make our way to the cafeteria. Christina gives me a reassuring look before leaving with Will.
"What now? Would you like to point out more things that I'm not good at? Or tell me again how weak I am? Or that you're going to pair me up with Peter for the rest of training as some sort of punishment?"
"Actually, I was going to tell you that you did a great job kicking Peter's ass. But since you're not ready to listen, you can meet me at the chasm tonight at 11."
I watch as Four turns and walks away, effectively ending our small conversation.

I lie awake in bed, nervous, listening to the sounds of everyone's slumber. I pull the covers over my head and press the light button on my watch. 10:46. Close enough. I creep out of bed, grab the clothes I placed together in my storage box, and get dressed. Nobody has moved, so I leave the dorm. I stick to the walls and try to stay in the shadows. The Pit is empty when I reach it, but I wait, looking for any indication that someone might be around before crossing. After 5 minutes of watching I cross, waiting at the railing. One last look around tells me this place is deserted at this hour.

I look over the railing and watch the water sway back and forth against the rocks. There is such beauty in it's power. I frown at the thought though, remembering what we were told on our first day. This place is the last thing someone once saw; multiple someones. I'm lost in my thoughts when a pair of hands cover my eyes. I smile. "Just what do you think you're doing?" I ask before reaching up and pulling one hand down. As I turn to greet him, my smile fades into complete panic.