Summary: A single event can change the course of the future. If a single revelation have been given to Sephiroth before Nibelheim, what would have happened? AU of my own mostly-canon timeline. OCs, rated for lemons, mpreg. Ties in with past fics and oneshots.

Disclaimer: Akalara is mine, Kandi is Amazon's, Lily is Mystic's, canon characters are SE's... You get the basic idea. Disguise materia is mine, too. SE didn't think that one; I did.

Queen's Quornor: My apologies. I took much longer than expected to write up this chapter. But I have a excuse! It's finals week here; I've been busy with oral presentations! Anyway, I'll be posting Maniac's next chapter tomorrow. I've held that chapter back long enough, methinks.

You Did WHAT?

The phone hit the ground, breaking Akalara's thoughts. She looked at her lover, taking in his shocked expression with surprise. "Seph? What's wrong?" He merely pointed to the phone, peridot eyes wide. The green-haired teen snatched up the phone and reset the speaker option; it seemed to have gotten turned off during the past few minutes. "Zack?"

"Hey, Ak!" She detected no small amount of amusement in his familiar voice.

"Congratulations, Green Bitch!" a completely unexpected voice called.

"Kandi? What are you doing in Nibelheim?"

"I didn't go on the mission, on grounds of pregnancy," Zack explained.

Akalara grinned. "So you knocked Kandi up, eh? Great! She and I can make everybody's lives miserable for the next nine months!"

"Actually, Ak," Kandi snickered, "it's the other way around. I knocked him up."

Akalara dropped the phone as if it had bitten her. "That's impossible!" she shrieked. "It's... Things don't work like that!"

"Remember how I told you about our little experiment with the Green Sludge, Ak?" Kandi asked playfully.

"Yeah, but you changed back!"

"What about the Green Sludge?" Sephiroth demanded, picking the phone up again.

Zack chuckled. "Remember how I was kind of curious about sex as a woman, Seph?"

"Yes, but what does..." Sephiroth's voice trailed off as his eyes widened. "You didn't."

Laughter rang from the phone in response. Akalara buried her face in his chest, giggling.

"Tell me you didn't, Zack!"

"I did. Or rather, we did. And once we were done, I had a uterus and a baby inside. Uterus didn't go away because there was already somthing' in it," the younger SOLDIER said, still laughing.

"You were a woman long enough to ovulate and conceive?" Akalara asked, taking her face out of her lover's chest. "I mean, I know you both turned into the opposite gender and had sex, but... How could you have been fertile that fast, Zack?"

"Who knows? I don't know how that stuff works. All I know is that I'm the first man in history to get pregnant."

"And I'm the first woman to impregnate a man." Kandi's grin was audible over the phone. "We're all going to be parents! Isn't this great? Our kids can grow up together!"

"How far along are you, Ak?" Zack inquired.

"Beats me. My period's only late by two days," the green-haired woman replied.

"Both of us seem to have pulled off the impossible, Green Girl," Kandi remarked. "We'll have to talk about that when you get back. I wanna know how you managed to get pregnant."

The teenager didn't reply. Kandi was the one who had hacked into Sephiroth's file; she knew he wasn't supposed to be able to get her pregnant.

"So does anybody else know about your baby, Zack?" Sephiroth queried.

"Dr. Quorra's the one who figured out what was wrong with me. There was also a nurse, but I don't think she's untrustworthy. Other than that, Aerith's the only other person we've told, and she has no real connection to ShinRa apart from me." Zack's voice lowered. "Hojo doesn't know yet, and we'd like to keep it that way."

"Same here. He would be very interested in our child." Sephiroth's free arm tightened around his teenaged love. "Now that we know about each other's offspring, we can protect each other."

"We should probably tell our other friends, Seph. If Reno and Tseng know, they could give us a heads-up if Doctor Creepy finds out. Lily and Christine should be told, too." Kandi's voice was nervous, but matter-of-fact. "Secretaries are like ghosts in the company; nobody notices them until they have need of their services."

"Somebody will realize something's amiss eventually, guy," Akalara pointed out, hating to be the bearer of bad tidings. "We're going to get baby bumps, Zack. Once you and I are waddling around like fat chocobos, Hojo can't possibly overlook the possibility of pregnancy."

"Akalara and I are going to disappear before that happens," Sephiroth elaborated. "With bribes and Disguise materia, we can conceivably stay one step ahead of the forces ShinRa will send to recover us. Hopefully we can spend the rest of our lives unfettered. But only if we remain on the run."

"I dunno what we're going to do. But..." There was a pause, as Zack gathered his thoughts. "Kandi and I could run, too."

"You'll have to, Zack. Hojo's stolen SOLDIERs and civilians for less; he'd stop at nothing to get you in the labs." The silver-haired man closed his eyes and bent his neck, resting his cheek atop Akalara's hair. "Ethics don't concern him. You know that."

"You'll need to take somebody with you." Akalara shifted in Sephiroth's lap, settling herself more deeply into the cradle of his crossed legs. A low rumble vibrated in his chest in response to her actions. "I don't think fighting will be very easy with a big belly."

There was silence on the other end. "I can use a gun," Zack finally said. "And Kandi can learn to shoot."

"It'd be best to have somebody else with you, somebody who can use a sword." Sephiroth began idly raking his fingers through his love's dark emerald hair, gently. "What about Kunsel?"

"I don't think so. He's too valuable here, since he's so good at sniffing out lies and discrepancies here at ShinRa. Luxiere's not a good choice; he's more like a fanboy than a SOLDIER."

Kandi piped up. "What about Cloud? He's smart and loyal, and seems to be halfway decent with a sword. With a little training, he could be a great fighter."

"But Cloud's big dream is to be a SOLDIER," Zack protested. "I can't take that away from him!"

"You're his mentor and best friend, Blackspike," Akalara said. "He'd want to help you, especially if it means the difference between freedom and you getting dragged back to the labs."

Zack heaved a sigh. "I'll talk to him about it. But don't hold your breath."

Sephiroth nuzzled his cheek into Akalara's hair, and she in turn wrapped her arm around his torso, the other stroking down his stomach. "Kandi, I have something to ask you."

"Ask away, General."

"Can you hack into ShinRa's bank account, or finances? We'll need a large amount of gil for bribes, transportation, and supplies."

The red-streaked woman scoffed. "Does the President have a fat ass? How much gil are we talking, here?"

"At least a billion."

There was the distinct sound of Zack's phone bouncing off somebody's body (most likely its owner's, since he let out a pained yelp), and then a rustling noise as it was picked back up again. "A billion gil? Are you shitting me?" Kandi demanded, her volume forcing Sephiroth to jerk the phone away from himself and Akalara.

"We need enough to provide for us until we can get some kind of regular life," he explained. "Ak and I will also need Disguise materia, and the ethers to replenish our magic on a regular basis."

Kandi blew a heavy sigh. "I can transfer small funds towards you over a few months, no problem. But that billion is going to have to wait until the night you make a run for it."

"Hey Kandi?" Zack spoke up. "We're going to need a ton of gil if we run, too."

The red-streaked woman cursed, then changed the subject. "So apart from flying the coop and robbing ShinRa blind, what does this mean? Are you two getting married, Seph?"

Akalara snuggled against her love's naked chest, feeling and hearing his response. "In the future, yes. But it's too dangerous right now. Akalara and I haven't been official for more than a few days, despite our sexual relationship. What will peope naturally conclude if we come back and Ak's sporting an engagement ring?"

"The rumor-mill would have a field day with that," Zack agreed. "Dead giveaway that something's up with you two."

"The secretaries, cadets, and trainees are already in an uproar about your going steady," Kandi interjected. "It was a regular frenzy when word got about out about you two going to Wutai, especially when you refused the Nibelheim mission for it, Seph." The red-streaked woman laughed. "Gotta hand it to you, Ak. Right now, you're the most hated and envied woman in Midgar!"

"I couldn't care less what jealous fangirls think of me." Akalara pressed her lips to Sephiroth's heart, feeling him nuzzle her hair once more. "He's the only one that matters."

"Oh, so we're chopped liver?" Zack snorted. "Thanks a lot, Ak."

"Your opinions matter. I just don't pay much attention to them where my man and I are concerned."

"Agreed. All that matters is how I feel about my woman, and how she feels about me." Sephiroth balanced the phone on Akalara's knees, so he could embrace her with both arms. "And now that she is carrying my child, nothing short of total annihilation will keep me apart from her."

"You realize that if you don't marry her, I'm going to kick your ass, right Seph?" Zack commented off-handedly.

"If such a thing ever comes to pass, you have my full permission to beat some sense into my head." Sephiroth's lips quirked. "Unless your belly gets in the way, that is."

"If it does, I'll get Kandi to kick your ass for me."

"So you and I can get drunk when you get back, Seph?" Kandi said. "Zack and Ak can have pop or flavored water or something."

"Like I said, I'm buying. We can go full-out once our kids are born and we're back together again." Sephiroth chuckled. "I'd still like to hear this from Dr. Quorra's mouth. I'll ask her when we go to confirm Akalara's pregnancy."

"She says the Green Sludge might be a good way for infertile couples to have children in the future, if Zack's pregnancy is successful." Kandi snickered mischieviously. "Hey Seph. Did Ak tell you she wanted to try the same thing with you?"

"What?"

"Bye guys! See you when you get back!" The phone call was ended as Kandi hung up, leaving Akalara to face an indignant silver-haired man.

"Was she being honest, Ak?" he demanded, his voice soft.

Akalara sighed. She would have broached the topic with far more tact than Kandi just had. "I did steal some of the sludge and two doses of antidote, Seph. I was curious about what it would feel like if our roles were reversed. However..." She sat up straight and met his eyes; he knew she couldn't lie directly into somebody's eyes. "I don't want to anymore. I think I prefer being the fuckee as long as you are the fucker."

A shiver raced along her spine then, as a wicked, purely masculine smirk twisted his lips. "How about we reiterate the way of things? Until you are absolutely certain you prefer things this way."

"Pound that lesson in as many times as necessary, Seph. I'm a slow learner sometimes." Akalara squealed as he took them down to the floor.

He balanced himself over her prone form, smirking down at her, eyes glowing softly. "Let the lesson begin," he murmured, lowering himself onto her.