Title: No Advanced Warning

Author: Darkstarspanky aka Carter

Summary: SG-1 gate to a planet with Ancient technology. With this technology, they get themselves into a rather...interesting situation.

Rating: PG (language, mostly)

Spoilers: Anything that happened previous to "Heroes I & II"

Archive: If anyone actually wants it, let me know first.

Disclaimer: Not mine...yadda, yadda, yadda...I only own the SG-1 DVDs and a shipload of tapes...

Author's Note: So sorry it's taken me a week to get another chapter up! I've been so busy with preparations for school. Blech. Anyway, I want to thank CapriceAnn Hedican-Kocur, Roganu-chan, Sci Fi Fan Gillian, and Goddess Anjanee for reviewing! I hope this chapter is up to par with your expectations!

Sam's POV

Hangovers...punishment for those who get drunk, mainly a lesson for those who get drunk while being under-age. But I'm not under-age and I still get taught a lesson! Never use NyQuil with the intention of getting your CO drunk. Especially when they encourage you to drink as well.

All these thoughts came within a few seconds. Long enough for me to realize I was still in the same bed as my teenaged CO with nothing more than a bra and panties on. This is so screwed up. I couldn't help myself. I screamed,

"What the hell?!"

"Carter...?"

Clearly he isn't awake enough to realize our current predicament. Or not sober enough as it were. I had to slap his arm to get him to pay attention.

"Yeah..."

"What are you doing in my quarters?"

"Uh..."

"Damn...my head is killing me."

"You're not the only one. I have a feeling we won't be getting rid of these for a while."

"Oh...wonderful..." he groaned.

"Yeah...do you remember anything that happened last night?"

I had to get dressed and fast. I couldn't risk him seeing me like that. Luckily, he was half turned towards the wall.

"Something about cough medicine and...something else..."

"Hmm...yeah, me too. Everything is all fuzzy."

I looked around and saw the bottles lying around. Wow. We drank that much? We shouldn't be alive. But I'm not going to see Janet. I don't really need all that right now. Besides, who's gonna know we got drunk off of NyQuil if we don't tell them?

"You know, we better do something quick...if I'm caught in here it'll raise a few eyebrows that don't need to be raised..."

"Eh...sure, yeah, whatever. Do what you want...I'm going back to sleep..."

"Just like a man..." I muttered.

"What'd you say?"

"Ahem...nothing. I didn't say anything."

"Well, then get out of here and goodnight."

"Sir, it's...six AM."

"Fine. Good morning. Can I go back to sleep now?"

I laced up my boots and got off the bed.

"Yeah...but you might want to get dressed before you go anywhere later."

"What...? Oh, yeah, yeah, sure. I'm going to sleep...now."

"Okay...bye, Sir."

I left the room quietly...I don't think he noticed when I mentioned the fact that he was clad only in boxers. He will later. Oy...what happened last night? The only thing I feel right now is a hangover...ugh. Tylenol...Advil...Alieve...one of those...or all three. Well, I know what I won't being doing ever again. Damn Daniel and his NyQuil stash.

I walked into my lab and went straight for the desk drawer with all the pain relievers. It's funny how much of this stuff a girl in my line of work has. Always trying to make sure the guys don't see you in pain. Making them think that you're weak. I got over that long ago. But I still keep the pain relievers. I guess that makes me an addict, huh? Whoops. As long as I'm never taken to a treatment center like Daniel will for his coffee addiction, I think I'll be okay.

Mmm...yes...nice, wonderful painkillers. Hopefully I will never have to worry about a hangover like this again. Which I don't think I will. Unless I decide to get drunk off of NyQuil for a second time. But, no. Never again.

I have a feeling I should go see Teal'c. He might start to think I'm dead or something. Wait...what if he's dead? Okay, I need to go find him to see if he's okay. If nothing else, just to reassure myself he's still alive. This early in the morning I think I can expect to find him in the mess hall. I might as well get myself something with caffeine while I'm there.

I think the route to the mess hall is ingrained in my mind at this point. I didn't even have to watch the corridors I was taking to get to my destination. I guess I should have memorized at least a few of these routes by now, huh? Probably something more important than the mess hall, though.

I swear, that's not the only route I've memorized. It's just one of the few I use most. Other than the control and gate rooms, that is. When I got there, I saw Teal'c seated across from Daniel. When did he get out of the infirmary? Ah, the things you miss when you're passed out due to intoxication by NyQuil.

"Hey, guys."

"Hi, Sam."

Teal'c just nodded his head.

"So they finally let you out then, Daniel?"

"Yes. I promised I wouldn't drink any coffee for a week."

"And they let you out anyway? We all know you can't handle that."

"But they don't know that, do they?"

"So, Teal'c, how much coffee has Daniel had already?"

"None. He has kept his word."

"Surprising."

"Hey, be nice. I still haven't told anyone about that prank you played on my yesterday."

I kicked him under the table. Hard. So much for keeping the prank a secret, Daniel. Teal'c didn't know about any of that stuff yet.

"You have conducted your prank?"

"Yeah..."

"Sam and Jack told me she was pregnant."

I kicked him again. Does he not know when to shut up? Jeez.

"Ow! What was that for?!" Daniel yelped

"..."

"Was Daniel Jackson's reaction satisfactory?" Teal'c asked

"Uh..."

"I think I'll stay out of this now."

"Oh, gee thanks, Daniel. Very helpful."

I don't think Teal'c actually cared about the nature of the prank.

"You're welcome..."

I think the caffeine deprivation has really messed with his mind. He's worse than I am, and I have a hangover. Men. Seriously, they're babies. But, that's Daniel for you. Maybe all that dying and coming back to life has had a lasting effect on the boy. I guess we'll never know.

"So...Teal'c...where have you been these last few days?"

"My whereabouts is not necessary information for you to obtain."

"Oh...okay, then...need to know."

"Indeed."

"So...Daniel, have anything planned with Janet?"

"Possibly."

"Huh...that's nice."

"So, how's Jack?"

Uh...suffering from a hangover...?

"What? Why would I know how Colonel O'Neill is?"

Good cover, Sam. Great job. You couldn't sound any more guilty.

"Well, you left the infirmary with him. I figure you probably have some idea as to where he is."

"Well I don't."

"Okay...don't get all snippy."

"I...wasn't."

"Mmm hmm...whatever you say."

"Teal'c, I wasn't being snippy...was I?"

He didn't answer me. Oh, great. I not only have to deal with not knowing what I did last night, but now I have to deal with people telling me I'm snippy too. I can't win around this place, can I? If I had my way, the Goa'uld would have been dead years ago, I would be married to the ass that got me drunk, and I'd still be going on diplomatic missions. But nooooo...

"Sam, what's wrong?"

Whoops. Apparently I had a look of disgust on my face from my inside-the-head rant. Oh, well. I could claim I feel like throwing up...or...how about I could just say I'm thinking again. That'll work. I'm always thinking. As demonstrated by this right now.

"Nothing...I was just thinking. Surprise...right?"

"Indeed it is not a surprise."

"Teal'c...it was a joke."

"He knows. He just likes to play dumb sometimes. Don't you, Teal'c?"

"Indeed."

Just then, SG-1 was being called into the control room because of an off-world activation. I wonder if Jack is even awake enough to realize that includes him? Probably not. All three of us got up from the table and ran to the control room.

"Who is it?" I asked

"We don't have a signal yet."

The name the IDC belonged to showed up on the screen a minute later. It was Bra'tac's IDC. We opened the iris to let him through. Jack still hadn't gotten himself in here. I bet he passed out after I left him.

When the traveler came...it wasn't Bra'tac. It was Rak'nor. What happened? Obviously something is wrong. We all went down to the gate room to see what was going on.

"Rak'nor, what has transpired?"

"Teal'c, I am afraid I do not bring good news."

Just then Jack decided to stroll into the gate room. He looked quite disheveled. I guess an SF went to go get him.

"What's going on?"

"It's so nice of you to join us Colonel O'Neill."

"Sorry, General. I fell asleep."

Only Jack can get away with something like that. I'm so jealous.

"So, Rak'nor, you were saying?" Daniel asked, trying to get the conversation on track again.

"Bra'tac and your son Ryac have been taken."

"Those two are always getting taken by someone...who is it this time?"

That first part was a little insensitive. And I called him on it by elbowing him hard in the ribs.

"OW! Carter! I think you may have just broken something!" he whispered.

"Good. Now shut up and be polite."

I'm surprised Rak'nor hasn't taken in the appearance of two of the members of SG-1. Namely the Colonel-that-won't-shut-up. Either way, if Jack doesn't shut up soon, we won't find out anything.

"By whom have they been taken?"

"By rebel Jaffa that do not support us."

"How can they be rebels and not support you? I mean, essentially you guys started the rebellion. There's no possible way you can be a rebel Jaffa and not support the rebels that began the rebellion."

"Daniel?"

"Yeah?"

"Shut up."

Those words came from Jack. Also known as the Colonel-that-won't-shut-up. Well, that's how he's known to me, anyway. But still...

"They rebel against their masters, but they do not support our rebellion."

"So, they're rebelling against their masters and the people that started a rebellion. I get it...but I can't explain it..." I said

"What can we do?"

"General Hammond, I request permission for SG-1 to..."

"Permission granted, Teal'c."

"Wait a minute. How can Carter and I go? We aren't exactly ourselves at the moment..."

"This is an exception, Colonel. You know how important Bra'tac and Ryac are. Not only are they basically Teal'c's family they are..."

"Okay, okay. We're going. Everybody suit up!"

Oh, yay. Now not only am I stuck as a teenager with a hangover who doesn't know what she did last night, now I have to go on a mission to retrieve two rebels from rebels that hate the original rebels. Gosh. What a mouthful.

We went to the locker room to get geared up. I had quite a bit of trouble getting my pants to stay up. My jacket didn't fit, my boots sort of fit and my vest was too baggy. I guess I was a lot smaller as a teenager. Though Jack wasn't doing much better than that. His pants were falling down again.

"Anyone have a smaller belt? Seriously, I need one. My pants are falling off as we speak."

"If you'd like, Sir, you can borrow one of my belts."

He scoffed. I think he took that as an insult or something. What's wrong with borrowing a military issued belt? I guess the fact that it's for a woman with a small waist insults him. I will never understand the male ego.

"Fine...throw one over here."

"Sir, I'm right next to you. I don't really need to throw it."

"I'm trying to make myself look like a man worthy of respecting. You aren't helping."

"You don't need to make a show of being macho...we all know you're just one big hunk of man..."

I gave him a confused look after I said it. Because, to tell you the truth I have no idea why I said that. It must be the after-effects of the NyQuil intoxication incident.

"So, how's the hangover?" I asked in a whispered tone

"It's still there...the headache, the stomachache...my throat kinda burns too. How're you feeling?"

"Ah, yes, the joys of NyQuil comsumption. I'm not doing too bad...the painkillers helped my monstrosity of a headache."

"Mind sharing the painkillers?"

"Hmm...later. It's incentive for you to be a good little boy."

"That's funny. Very funny."

"Will you guys hurry up? I think the polar ice caps have already melted." Daniel griped

And he said I was snippy? Obviously he hasn't recorded his voice in a while. Come to think of it...I don't either. But that wasn't my point. Gee whiz.

"Alright, Daniel. Keep your pants on. Please." Jack said

"I'm ready...let's go."

It really only took us around eight minutes to get geared up, but the conversation made it seem longer for Daniel I guess. I could tell both he and Teal'c were worried about Bra'tac and Ryac. Though Teal'c wouldn't ordinarily show it.

Once back in the gate room, we were told the planet we were looking for wasn't one with a gate. Oh, perfect. Spending God knows how long with all these people? Someone shoot me. Now. The journey itself is supposed to take around a week and a half. Then we have to locate the settlement where the two are being held. I'd say we're going to be out for around a month. Honest.

"So...it'll really take a week and a half to get there? I mean, are you absolutely sure? Like completely sure?" I asked, praying it would be shorter

"Indeed we are sure, Major Carter. I have checked the coordinates of the planet myself."

"Oh...wonderful. I should have brought more Tylenol..."

Jack walked in when I said 'Tylenol'.

"Speaking of which...where's the Tylenol you promised me earlier?"

"Damn...I mean...right here, Sir. Just please don't tell me you want more than one dose. If so, I will have to refuse."

"H-mph. Fine. Be that way, Carter. You won't even help your CO in his time of need."

"Well we can't afford to have you die of an overdose, now can we? I didn't think so."

He just looked at me. It wasn't the normal "You're rambling, but I'll be nice and not tell you to shut up" look. It was something else. A look I don't think I've seen before. Or a really rare one I've only seen less than a handful of times.

I took out the bottle and handed him two caplets. Too bad I know he'll need way more than that. I made sure I put the bottle in my upper vest pocket so he wouldn't go snooping for it. That and if he saw me put it there, he wouldn't dare try and retrieve it.

"You know, it's only been an hour and I'm already getting sick of you."

"Well at least it wasn't less than ten minutes. Then I'd have to kill you to prevent you from telling anyone."

"That's nice...threaten your CO."

"Well, why not? I can't really be charged with insubordination. Who are you going to tell?"

"Hammond...after we get back..."

"Nah...you like me too much."

"That I do. But I can still say I'm going to tell him, even if I'm not."

"Riiiiiiiight. Okay. I think I might just take a nap now."

Pointless, I know. But I didn't care. I need to get rid of this roaring headache. I mean, if I haven't gotten rid of it by the time we get to...whatever planet we're going to...I'm gonna be a little pissed.

"You do that...I'm gonna go...well, I'm just gonna go."

I guess that means he doesn't want to talk about last night. Good. 'Cause I don't want to either.

"We need to talk later."

Or...maybe he does want to talk about it. D'oh. This is getting predictable. I shouldn't come to any conclusions until I'm absolutely sure I've got all the facts. Or, all of the words have been spoken. But, anyway...

I pulled my jacket over my head and attempted to sleep. We all know I need it. Well, okay, I know I need it.

I must have actually fallen asleep because someone was shaking me and I was barely conscious.

"Carter! I've got food..."

He said it in an almost singsong voice. What has happened to this man? Has he gone insane?! Or is it me that's gone insane? It's really quite sad that I don't know the difference anymore. Stupid Ancients and their stupidly advanced technology! I guess that last part was an oxymoron, wasn't it? Oh, well.

"Would this food be something to lure me out for the obvious ensuing conversation?"

"Why, Major, whatever are you talking about?"

"Heh..."

I pulled the jacket off my head and sat up. It's still too freakin' early for me to be up. And that's saying something...because I have no idea what time it is. I had to pull back my hair so I could see. I never realized how long it was. It's nice to instantly have long hair, though.

"So..."

"Yeah...?"

"About last night..."

"I don't know what happened after the gross amount of NyQuil we consumed. I remember nothing. I swear. Use a lie detector...I'm not lying...hence the suggestion of a lie detector test..."

"So it wasn't just me that woke up not knowing what the hell went on last night? I'm sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing."

"I'm not either...but until we remember what happened, which is highly unlikely, we don't have to worry, right?"

We're still ten days away from the planet...can't this thing go any faster? Well, I know it can...but I don't feel like getting up and tinkering with the ship. I will when I'm bored. But right now, I'm hungry.

"So...what did you bring me? If you actually brought food, that is."

"I brought turkey..."

"Oh, how I love the variety of MRE pouches. It's lovely, really."

"Isn't it though?"

I took the packet from him and opened it.

"So, what exactly is our plan of action when we reach the planet?"

"We find the settlement and park this thing far enough away from it so they won't know we're here..."

"Why couldn't they pick a planet with a gate? I mean, it would make it easier for us, and them."

"They're rebels...since when do they make things easy on the people they oppose?"

"Hmm...never. I guess we'll just have to remain optimistic...you're favorite outlook."

"Yes..."

"Hey guys, what's up?"

We're on a spaceship going to God knows where, and I have a headache that would rival the worst earthquake. Not much is going on.

"Nothing..."

"Do you know anything about a huge stock of NyQuil that was stolen from...well, never mind where it was stolen from. It was stolen. Do you know anything about it?"

No...why would you think that?

"No...of course not." I said

"Why's it that important? How come you can't tell us where it's from?"

Jack knew damn well where it was from. Good thing he didn't say that.

"I told you, don't worry about where it's stolen from."

"So, Daniel, how are you doing with the whole 'I promise not to ingest caffeine' thing?"

I had to change the subject. Get myself out of the spotlight. In this line of work, it's every man for himself...right? Or in my case, every woman. But that's a technical thing.

"..."

"I'd say he's not doing so good." Jack whispered.

Oh, great. Now he's whispering in my ear...don't be a pervert...don't be a pervert...stop thinking inappropriate thoughts about your CO...eh...screw it. But the way I'm going, this week and a half seems a lot longer now than it did before.

A/N: So sorry it's taken me like a week to get this up! I've been pretty busy...school starts in a day. I'm not happy about that. But I guess you're all wondering what the heck rescuing Bra'tac and Ryac has to do with this story line? Well...you'll just have to wait and see. I'll try and get something up before the weekend, but there are no guarantees. Thanks and please review!

Later,

Darkstarspanky aka Carter