LPB: sigh...i should be studying but once again im updating instead... i blame ff if i flunk my exams XD and btw did u see u new shugo chara party episode!!! ikuto came back!! yea!!

Ikuto: heh *smirks*

LPB: anyways this chapter has nothing to do with the movie 'the notebook' it just happened to be named the same title XD

disclaimer: liLpAndaBear doesn't own shugo chara, shugo chara party or any of the characters but she does own kusame, arya and kaiya!!!

Chapter 10- The Notebook

Amu POV- jan 25…

"Utau…it's o-okay…"I whispered. I knew that I was lying, that I would hurt him if he ever knew. But he was always there for me and wanted to make me happy. Ikuto doesn't love me he wants to be with Arya and he didn't care if I married Kusame-kun. Why not make everyone happy then… marry Kusame-kun, and then he, Ikuto and Arya would be happy. And if I acted happy, then Utau, Rima and the rest would feel happy as well. "I…I'm happy, and I do l-love Kusame-kun…"

"I love you too." Kusame-kun pulled me closer to him and he kissed my forehead lightly.

I plastered a smile on my face, "Careful of Kaiya."

"Course I will," he returned my smile, the only difference was that his was real. "I don't want to hurt our daughter do I?"

I peeped a look at the others, hoping they wouldn't be able to see through my act. Utau stared at me, Kukai looked confused, Rima wore a sightly amused expression and Nagi, even if he did see through my act, didn't show it. And Ikuto had turned around, and walked towards the door.

Utau exploded when he left the building. "AMU! WHY DID YOU DO THAT?"

"Why did you do that Amu-chan?" Hurt could be seen all over Kusame-kun's face, "I can tell you were acting…"

"What are you talking about?" I played dumb.

"Amu-chan…" Nagi said my name in a way that I could tell he knew everything I was trying to hide.

I looked down again. "I just want a new start… I want everyone to be happy…"

"How can everyone be happy when we know you're not?" Utau had calmed down relatively. "Why not just tell Ikuto about Kaiya?"

"Because I… would he even care that Kaiya is his own daughter?"

"Of course he would! He-"

I interrupted Utau. "He has Arya… he wouldn't care. He would feel awkward around me, I would feel awkward if I were him. A girl still loves him after having his child while he loves some other girl."

"Amu, even you know that Ikuto isn't like that." Rima said.

"But you just said you… he… Kaiya is his…I…you…" Kukai frowned, "I'm confused."

"You're so dense." Utau rolled her eyes.

"Hey!" Kukai slung his arm around her shoulders, "But that's why you love me right?" He smiled cheekily at her. They were off in their own little world.

"Amu-chan." Kusame-kun said softly, "It doesn't matter if you don't love me, I still do and I'll do my best to make you happy."

I looked at him. He eyes said he was telling the truth. "I'm sorry Kusame-kun…"

He shook his head. "Just promise me you'll stop crying because of him. And if I ever see you crying because of him again, I will drag you back to America with me when I go back even if you don't want to."

"And you have my permission to do that, I don't want her hurt either." Rima said.

"You don't have mine." Utau growled. "Why aren't you going back right now anyway. You got to see Amu, that's what you wanted right? Why aren't you going right away?"

"I want to see how our company is going here, we have a headquarters here as well as in America. I used to work here last year, before my dad told me I had to go over to America to look over the company there." He explained.

"And why do we need to know that?" Utau raised her eyebrows.

He shrugged, "No reason… Amu-chan, where are you staying? I'll take you back to your hotel."

"She's staying at my place at the moment, and she's welcome to stay there as long as she wants." Rima told him, her tone ended the topic.

"It's late." Nagi commented. "I'll drive you two back." He took Rima's hand and gestured at me.

"I'll take Utau back then." Kukai was still grinning.

"What about Kusame-kun?" I asked.

"I'll call my secretary, he's here as well." Kusame-kun smiled to reassure me.

Jan 26- 7:28am

My ringtone woke me up.

I picked up my phone and looked at the caller ID. "Hey Sanjo-san. What's up?"

"Ah! Amu! You won't guess what Nikaido-kun said yesterday!" I winced from her squeals.

"What did he say?" I asked groggily.

"He said he wanted to get married sooner, on the 23rd of February!"

I sat up. "Isn't that like…4 weeks away?"

"Uhuh, so you, Rima and Utau are going to have to help me with the planning. You don't mind do you?" she asked.

"I don't mind if you don't wake me up earlier than 8 again." I smiled even though I knew she couldn't see it.

"Thanks Amu! Oh, and since you're going to be staying in Japan for at least another few days could you please help Utau and Rima? They're getting a bit stuck on their new album, you were always the one to write the songs back then, yea?"

"Okay…" I don't know what I'm going to do these next few days anyway… Stay in Japan? Leave for America? Go with Kusame-kun and then leave for America later? I didn't know what to do… Kaiya was still asleep in the cot which Utau had Kukai buy the previous day. I sighed…it must be so nice to be a baby, everything is taken care of for you…

"Thank you Amu! Go with Rima to the studio when she goes, Nagi or Utau usually comes around to pick her up at 9ish. Well, I'll see you then!"

"Bye" Sanjo-san hung up. Sanjo-san's wedding was on the 23rd of February, it meant at least that I would be able to go to their wedding even if I chose to go back to America. And it meant I had something to keep me preoccupied.

~Time skip to 14 of February 5pm valentines day!! hehe i noe its a bit late but all well :P~

I had been in Japan for less than a month, and the past 20 days had been spent helping Sanjo-san and Nikaido-san with their wedding and helping Utau and Rima with their songs. Today was a break, mostly because Rima had a date with Nagi, and Sanjo-san had a date with Nikaido-san. Kukai had a soccer game on so he had to travel to Osaka for two days, and Kusame-kun had asked me out to dinner at 6.

I was with Utau at her house, it was just the two of us and Kaiya, who was playing in front of the couch with her favourite teddy bear. Utau had taken my notebook with all my songs in it and read them out. She pointed to one of the songs I had written for Ikuto, the one I sang to him before he left for France.

"This one…was this one for Ikuto?" she asked.

I nodded, "It was right before he left…"

"How does it go?" she asked out of pure curiosity. I sang the first few lines softly for her, I remembered all the words but I didn't want to sing all of it.

"Oh!" someone squealed from behind us. "That was really nice, I never heard that one before! Are you going to put it on the new album?"

We turned around and saw Arya, and Ikuto was behind her and he had a pained expression on his face. It's probably because we disturbed them by being here...

"I... I probably won't…" I answered her.

"Aw, why not? It's really good. Don't you think so too Ikuto?" she turned to Ikuto.

His eyes showed no recognition of the song. "Whatever… it's just a song."

"Just a song?" Utau's eyebrows rose. "This isn't just a song, don't you even remember who she wrote it for? It's for y-"

"Utau." I interrupted her. "I think I should go now, I need to get ready for the dinner with Kusame-kun. Besides, Kaiya is getting tired." Other than that I didn't want Utau to say it out loud in front of Arya, it was true that Kaiya was getting tired. She had been rubbing her eyes and now they were nearly closed.

Utau calmed down a bit "Oh, okay, I'll drive you back to Rima's house then." she picked up her keys. I picked up Kaiya and then followed her out the door. "You know what I don't get?" she asked.

"What?"

"How come Ikuto still doesn't know that he's the father. Aren't Kaiya-chan's eyes obvious enough?" She sat down into the driver's seat annoyed.

"I don't know…" Actually I don't think he has actually ever seen Kaiya properly, she was always asleep or nearly asleep…

Ikuto POV

I opened the door to get in the house after another day with Arya. She seemed a bit happier today and I told her I would drive her back to her house after I had changed. I walked into the kitchen which was connected to the living room and Arya tagged along. As we got closer I heard someone singing, it was Amu and Utau was sitting next to her, cross-legged and holding some sort of book. The song sounded really familiar, it was one that I would not forget, it was the song Amu sang to me. We watched them quietly and Arya inched closer to hear better.

Arya squealed when Amu stopped singing, "Oh! That was really nice, I never heard that one before! Are you going to put it on the new album?"

The two girls turned around, I saw Amu looking at me. I wanted so much to embrace her, to touch her at least. But I couldn't, she was an engaged woman to another guy, and I didn't want to hurt Arya. She didn't have many good experiences with males which weren't related to her, especially her last boyfriend. I could tell that she still had some sort of feelings for him, whether they be good or bad.

"I... I probably won't." Amu answered, looking at Arya.

"Aw, why not? It's really good. Don't you think so too Ikuto?" She turned to me.

I masked my feelings. "Whatever… it's just a song." My insides were screaming at me. It was not just a song, it's the song which Amu wrote and sang.

"Just a song?" I could tell Utau was not happy. "This isn't just a song, don't you even remember who she wrote it for? It's for y-"

Amu interrupted her. "Utau. I think I should go now, I need to get ready for the dinner with Kusame-kun. Besides, Kaiya is getting tired." Did she want to see him again that much? He was just some black haired, brown eyed dude. But still, that black haired, brown eyed dude was her fiancé and they love each other.

"Oh, I'll drive you back to Rima's house then." Utau picked up her keys from the coffee table while Amu picked up her daughter who was sleeping and they walked out the door.

"Ah!Hinamori-san left her notebook in here." Arya pointed to the book Utau was holding earlier. I picked it up and flipped to the front page. It was Amu's first song she had written. I flipped to the last page on which she had written on, she had started writing another song…

If you see me walking with someone else,

It's not because I love him.

And even if I fall 'n love with someone else,

It's not because I wanted to.

I decided to flip back through the book. Maybe…just maybe…two of her songs caught my eyes. The ones from her letter when she left… they were smudged as well. Just as smudged, as the ones in her letter, as the ones which were still locked up in my table drawer…

LPB: yea...soz if this chapter seems a bit rushed... anywayz.... back to studying...oh how fun :S 6 exams crammed into 2 days...

Please R&R!!! so i get something to look forward to whilst im studying XD hehe