iDouble Date

Carly had never been happier to be home. It was Friday afternoon and Spencer was out with Socko, which meant that she and Sam had the apartment to themselves for the entire evening, if not the weekend. Sam was already sprawled across the sofa while Carly made her way to the refrigerator for some liquid refreshment.

"Hey, Cupcake?"

Nothing else needed to be said. She could read Sam like a book.

"Way ahead of you, Mama…"

Carly made her way to the sofa – a drink in each hand – Peppy Cola for her, Root Beer for Sam. She set them down on the coffee table and cozied up to Sam, pressed into the arm of the sofa. She twisted a blonde curl in her fingers. She was content. She didn't know about Sam, but Carly was excited about tonight. Tonight was their double date with Freddie and Mel, who had become inseparable in the past week. It really wasn't so much a double date as it was the four of them sitting around the apartment all night, eating pizza and watching mindless TV.

Inseparable. The thought of it surely turned Sam's stomach.

"Sam?" Carly asked, her mind snapping back to reality after having drifted off into the netherworld. "You haven't said much. Is everything okay?"

Sam's weight shifted beneath her. She grumbled. She was apparently living in the same far-off place between her ears that Carly was.

"Just fine, Cupcake… Just…" Sam paused, searching her brain for what to say next. "Just a little… confused, I guess."

This did not sound good. This was not her Sam. This, in fact, scared Carly. She snaked her arms tight around Sam's waist. She spoke, her voice shaking.

"Sammie… is… is… did I do something wrong?"

Carly never called her 'Sammie'. She loved Carly with all her heart, but sometimes her precious little Cupcake could be so far off-base that it was laughable. Sam did just that.

"What?" Carly sounded deflated.

Sam turned her head, meeting Carly's. She kissed her forcefully on the cheek.

"Of course it's not you, Cupcake. The worst thing you've ever done to me was accidentally buy diet root beer. I've just been…" she paused. "Conflicted… about this thing with Mel."

"This Thing With Mel." Could it be that Sam Puckett actually cared for another person? Someone who was not Carly? Carly chuckled, relieved that her fears were so ill-founded.

"You mean this is all about Melanie and…–"

"Don't say it, Shay!"

Sam Puckett was in denial. Carly laughed again.

"Aww! Sam loves Melanie…" Carly teased, sing-song.

"No… Sam loves Carly. Sam tolerates … Her."

Sam Puckett was almost as bad a liar as Carly. Carly decided to let her girlfriend have her delusion. She settled her head against Sam's chest and let her eyes shut.

FOUR EPISODES OF GIRLY COW LATER…

Carly's eyes fluttered as she felt Sam's weight shift beneath her. Sam stood up and Carly fell headlong into the arm of the sofa. Her world still fuzzy, she just lay there, afraid her brain would explode. To her relief, the pounding sound, she realized, was not coming from between her ears, but from the front door. Sam was up, ready to answer it.

"Yeah, yeah! Don't get your shorts in a twist! I'm comin'…"

Butch. Crude. Crass. Abrasive. Sam Puckett was all these things. All of these and more. These were all the reasons why Carly loved her.

Sam flung open the front door to reveal Freddie and Melanie on the other side. He was holding a bag of DVDs, while she carried two large pizzas. Instead of ushering them inside, Sam simply said the first thing that came to mind – bypassing that internal filter – the one that came standard on every other human being in existence.

"Nice, but did you bring anything for you guys to eat?"

Carly, now clearer-headed, scolded her lady-love.

"Sam! Come on in, you guys…"

Their guests stared at her. Carly was completely oblivious. She was also a total hot mess. Her clothing was rumpled, her hair askew. Ever tactful and polite, the first comment came from Melanie Puckett.

"I'm sorry, did we… umm…. interrupt something?"

It took a moment to register, finally doing so after Carly patted at her fly-away hair. She shrieked.

"Oh. My. God. So. Embarrassing!" She rushed off to Spencer's bathroom, hoping that a little water and a hairbrush would do the trick. She returned moments later, the new happy couple now occupying the sofa, Sam in the hallway, hands folded across her chest, grinning.

"All better, Cupcake?" she chuckled. Carly shot her a smile.

"Much, thanks. What we watching?"

Sam shrugged her shoulders, feigning indifference.

"I dunno. They put it on… Galaxy Wars III: Attack of the Nubs…" Sam was derisive.

"Attack of the Spawn!" Freddie corrected her. He took his Galaxy Wars very seriously.

"Whatev!"

Carly giggled.

"Children, children, Please! Am I going to have to separate you?"

Even Sam laughed. She took Carly by the hand, and they joined the other couple in front of the TV.

Hours later, well into Galaxy Wars V, Carly Shay was fading fast. She squeezed Sam's hand gingerly, signaling that it was time for bed. The front door lock was set, so she wasn't concerned. She pumped Sam's hand again, pleading in her softest, sweetest little girl voice, careful so that Freddie and Melanie wouldn't hear. That would be too embarrassing.

"Sam…" Carly whined, "Carly s'eepy… It bed time…"

Sam stretched, turned to their guests, and, for the first time all evening, was reasonably polite.

"Calling it a night… Melanie…" she paused before continuing, as though it was too distasteful to do otherwise. "Fredward."

Neither Freddie nor her sister responded immediately, too engrossed in the film, as well as each other.

"Night…" they said in unison.

EIGHT A.M. …

Carly Shay woke up to screaming… and an empty bed. If her childhood had taught her anything, it was that screaming was horrible, and it turned her stomach.

"…Fear leads to anger…"

"…Anger leads to hate…"

"…Hate leads to suffering…"

She immediately recognized the loudest voice. How could she not? It was her baby – Her Sam. Without thinking, she bounded down the stairs as fast as she could. She didn't care that she was barely dressed. Reaching the landing between the first and second floors, she saw that Freddie and Melanie were still here. Judging by their clothes, they had apparently spent the night sacked out on the sofa. Sam was screaming at Freddie.

"YOU! You come in here with your Galaxy Wars and your pizza, and you think that it's okay for you to…" Her voice trailed off.

The gloves finally came off.

"It wasn't like that! We just fell asleep, Sam!"

"Shut it, Princess Perfect!" Sam snapped. "Do you think that's what I want for you? This little Chizz ball all over your goodie basket? My future nieces and nephews would be absolutely beautiful techno-nerds… Don't you think that I want…?" Melanie cut her off.

"WHAT? WHAT SAM? What do you want, exactly?" Melanie was exasperated, tears already welling up in her eyes as she screamed back at her sister.

"What do you want for me, exactly, Little Sister… And why is it any of your business? I'm a big girl, Samantha, and I can make my own decisions, just as well as you can…"

"I just want you…. I want you…. I want you to be…" Sam choked. She couldn't find the words fast enough.

"WHAT? MORE LIKE CARLY?" Melanie spat, bile instantly rising in her throat. She had done the one thing she had never wanted to. She had wounded her sister, whom, despite all of her taunts, she loved more than anything. Sam could only stand there, slack-jawed.

"Sam… I'm… I'm so… I'm so sorry…. I didn't… I didn't mean…."

Carly screamed from the stairs.

"ENOUGH! Everybody just shut up! Sam… Sam… Sam…" Carly's concern was immediately for her.

She was absolutely stunned. Fighting through tears, Sam Puckett finally found the words. To everyone's surprise, she was remarkably composed. She spoke civilly to her sister, without a hint of animas.

"Mel, that's not it… I just… We've lost so much time… I just want… I just want us… you know, to be sisters…" Sam was clearly emotional. This had obviously been weighing on her a very, very, very long time.

Melanie sniffed back tears and laughed. It wasn't a derisive, contemptuous laugh, like the kind Sam Puckett knew all too well – this was genuine. Her sister, her perfect sister, was sincere.

"Sam… We'll always be sisters… We're just not the same person…"

"But…" Sam interjected, clearly lost. "But we're identical..."

Melanie smirked.

"Sure… on the outside. Inside, we're individuals, Sam. That's what makes us us. We each have our own lives. I can't be exactly perfect. I can't be more like anybody, just me. You have what works for you. You have Carly. I have this…" Melanie walked over to Freddie and tousled his already sleep-mussed hair. Sam laughed.

"You have The Nub…" Sam smirked.

"I prefer to call him Freddie…"

"Hug?"

Melanie agreed. She hugged Sam close. She knew that, however misguided her thinking, she did what she had to do to say it in her own way.

"Sam…." Carly called to her from the stairs, still concerned, wanting to run to her, despite her state of undress. Sam looked to her.

"It's okay… Go get dressed, Carls. Breakfast is coming up. Mama's making Chicken and Waffles…" She glanced over to Freddie. He nodded.

"For four."