She was going to be just fine. His impossible girl, his Clara. She was always okay, bouncing back with a snide comment and a grin. Except, this had happened before. With another face and another companion. And she was fine, absolutely fantastic. but he had taken the flame from her mind and allowed it to burn him up instead.
And he couldn't go. Not yet. Not now. Not after last night, when he finally told her, Clara, what had been gradually thawing the silver ice in his hearts. That she was the answer, the solution to the emptiness. She made him feel so full, so alive and bright. It just wasn't fair, but then, when was it ever fair? The universe doesn't care. That's what he had learnt from his time in the sky. She was going to stay with him forever. Chinboy and Souffle girl. But now it was him or her and there was no contest.
He stroked the apple shaped cheeks in his hands, "Concentrate Clara. The light, you must block it out, push it away, think of cool navy skies and grey raindrops, think of Sundays and Thursday afternoons, of gray and black and mauve and indigo."
He could feel it, the fire, moving from her eyes into his. It was starting to hurt, but he kept going, murmuring encouragement to her, willing her to safety, "Come on Clara, push it away. Chinboy and my Impossible girl together or not at all. Oh my Clara, not this time, this time I save you, just for the hell of it."
A bright pain like white hot wire pressed against his forehead burst through, covering everything, blinding him. It burned hotter and sharper, making his head throb, filling it until he felt it would burst. He cried out in pain, hanging onto the very edges of everything...and then it stopped. The burning ceased and everything was cool and tranquil. There was no sound, no movement. Nothing. The Doctor opened his eyes and blinked down at Clara who looked up at him, her face confused.
"What happened?" She asked, looking around her.
The room across the hall had vanished, the tree, the burning, everything was gone. The Doctor moved across, holding the sonic, scanning where the doorway had been moments before.
Clara watched him, "Well?"
He adjusted a knob on the screwdriver and read out loud in disbelief, "It was the TARDIS, she saved us,"
"How could she—"
"She absorbed all of the regeneration energy to her core, saving the burning tree in her centre in a timelock."
"Does that mean she's working again?"
The Doctor spun on his heel, grabbing Clara by the shoulders and dropping a kiss on her forehead, "Oh Clara you beauty!" He ran then, back into the console room, his coat flying out behind him. She ran with him, nearly taking a wrong turn as he sped ahead nearly out of sight.
When she reached the console room, he was at the circuit board, a grin glowing on his face, "Welcome back Sexy" he called to the giant cogs on the ceiling which flashed blue in greeting.
Clara paused in the doorway, smiling sadly at him. He turned, his eyes dancing in his face as they met hers,
"Come on Captain," he motioned to her and she walked across, "Are you okay?"
"Yes, I'm fine, of course I'm fine, why wouldn't I be fine?"
He laughed into himself, "because you just absorbed regeneration energy and it should have killed you, but you managed to send it into the TARDIS battery store - well, it's not really a battery store, but think of it like battery store – and you saved us both," He touched her jaw, "impossible," he whispered, his face nearing hers.
Clara stuck out her chin, "not impossible, just a little unlikely," she breathed, her breath warm against his face. They neared together, closer until there was just a narrow gap between their parted lips. And then in a duck of his head, there was no space at all. He pushed his against hers with such certainty and tenderness, that she let out a little gasp. He smiled against her lips, leaning into her, holding her chin with his fingertips. Clara opened her eyes and met his; a galaxy of colours danced on the surface, golden and bright, the deep sea of olive green sadness hidden far beneath, "hey spaceman," she whispered, "is this what we do when you're not saving the world?"
"Is this what you want to do when we're not saving the world?" he asked. She bit her lip and nodded once, stretching up on tiptoe until she was almost at level with his nose. She gazed fully into his face, a grin tugging at her mouth leaning in again, slowly until "it is a snogbox," she laughed at him, flitting away again.
She stood back, arms folded, "this is what you do isn't it? You lure people away with a crook of your finger and the speech about all of time and space and then you make use of your flying snogging booth," she teased
The Doctor raised his eyebrows back at her, crossing his own arms across his chest, leaning against the control panel, awkwardly "only the people who are..."
"people who are what?"
"...special" he finished, his voice gravely serious
Clara felt her cheeks flush pink, her joking masquerade expression slipping. She opened her mouth slightly, waiting for the correct words to form on her tongue, "I'm special?" she asked,
The Doctor looked at her across the room, "Of course you're special; you are the only mystery worth solving," he moved towards her, his hand half outstretched, almost touching her cheek. Clara raised her hand to his and moved it away, clasping it with her fingers and swinging it by her side.
She smiled up at him, "better not let me drive home" she quipped lightly
"I really don't think this little adventure has improved your relationship with the dear old TARDIS,"
"Oi, I thought you said I'd revived her and recharged her whole battery," she was pouting again
"Not quite a battery, but a bit like a battery, I suppose-" he didn't know how to deal with the pouting
"I saved her" she argued
"Yes, but only after you'd crashed her into pocket dimension and drained all her energy," he retorted back at her
Clara screwed up her nose, "sorry about that,"
The Doctor squeezed her hand, "well, I suppose I have to forgive you don't I?" he smiled
"You have no absolutely no choice in the matter Chinboy," her eyes glittered
A churning of cogs and flashing of mechanical lights pulled their gaze upward, the TARDIS whirred angrily above them causing Clara to duck her head. The Doctor called up the giant mechanism sheepishly, "sorry dear"
"What is she upset about now?" Clara grumbled in spite of herself
"She doesn't approve" the Doctor replied vaguely, motioning the air with his arms
"will she ever approve?" Clara sighed
He looked at her, smiling bashfully and shook his head
"Hah! Well Chinboy, rescue me from your disapproving spaceship and show me the stars,"
The Doctor grinned at her, his face the expression of a 9 year old schoolboy. He pulled a red lever, the familiar humming began and Clara held onto the banister tightly, waiting.
He paused, hesitantly.
"What are you waiting for?" she called over the motorised din of cogs and dials.
He pivoted on the spot and held out a hand, "I'm waiting for the Captain,"
"What?" Clara looked at him in disbelief, a smile turning up the corners of her mouth. She looked at him, his hand, the whirring alien ship surrounding her, "are you sure?" she asked cautiously
"Impossibly so," he reached forward and wrapped his fingers tightly around hers
"but she doesn't like m-," he pushed a finger against her lips
"Come on Captain, are you ready for a race across the sky?"
She grinned at him and then raced forward, leaning over the control panel, "impossibly so," she replied slamming her hand onto the orange button.
The box gyrated, whirring into nothingness, fading gently into the night, leaving an echo to be swallowed up into darkened nothingness. Inside, the impossible girl and the sad man were bathed in bright blue light, illuminated in their tiny corner of the universe. They held onto each other tight as they stumbled across the sky, in a chase from moon to star.
Eternity was in our lips and eyes,
Bliss in our brows' bent; none our parts so poor
But was a race of heaven.
*THE END*
AN: so there you have it, what happens when the Doctor lets Clara be the boss of TARDIS.
I'm going to get all soppy and nostalgic now so beware:
I want to express how unconditionally grateful and touched I am by every single one of the comments about my writing, not just here but on tumblr and twitter as well. I never realised how easy it was to get into this and you've already inspired me to work on more. This is the longest thing I've ever written in all my 15 years and I'm so thrilled that it went down well!
I wrote it by lamplight with a cup of tea and headphones at night, unsure of whether it was ever going to see the light of day, and every single one of you that has even glanced at this, gave me the confidence I needed to continue. And who knows maybe in ten years time I'll be a published writer and you can say you were the very first ones that cared.
So I'm going to leave you now, to go on with your life and hopefully, maybe I'll see you again here one day.
oh God, that sounded really sentimental, sorry
*the verse at the very end of chapter 10 is from Shakespeare's Anthony & Cleopatra*
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