I was wordlessly laying down in mine and Shane's bed, rubbing my belly with some cocoa butter that had one of the most annoying scents ever. I was going on 30 weeks and my album dropped in just a few hours. Nate and Caitlyn were going to pick me up and we were going to do the tradition of going to the nearest music shop that will have my album. I would buy the first copy, and then I would go back home for the night. Then tomorrow I would go back and have a Q & A with the first 50 fans that bought the CD. I would have been more excited, but I wasn't really excited for anything since Shane had moved out.
I sat up on the bed of the beautiful room that Shane had decorated for me and him. I stood up and walked over to the bathroom. My bump was more than obvious. It was like a beacon of light in a dark room with no windows. I turned on the curling iron and walked out of the bathroom. I grabbed the latest gossip magazine that I had seen in the store the other day. It had Shane and I on the cover, and the loud, yellow headline screamed "Trouble in Paradise?" I wished more than anything that I could dismiss the rumors as nothing more than lies made up by paparazzi with extra time on their hands. Unfortunately, it wasn't like that. There sadly was trouble. Between Shane's extreme case of sympathy pregnancy and my actual pregnancy, the mood swings were getting vicious and Shane had decided that it would be best if we spent some time apart. It had done nothing for me except make me feel more alone than ever.
I walked into the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water. I brought it to my lips and sighed to myself at the relief. My throat felt like sand paper. I walked over to the phone and punched in the code for messages. A few were just my mom and Denise calling to ask about Shane and I. Two were from Emily, asking me if I wanted vanilla or chocolate cake at the baby shower. Caitlyn, Emily, Denise, and Mom had all agreed to work together in planning my baby shower. Amy, who had moved in with Nate and Caitlyn until her divorce from Caitlyn's father was finalized, was also helping with the baby shower by providing suggestions. She had agreed that all final decisions went to Em, Cait, Denise, or Mom. And I had no say in anything except cake apparently. I pressed the button for the last message. It was Shane.
"Hey Mitchie. I'm sorry that I'm going to miss the release tonight, but I hope you don't get trampled by those crazy fans. I love you and I'll talk to you later. Bye."
End of message. Nothing on when he's coming home? Nothing about the baby? Nothing? I felt my heart break as my blood boiled. I deleted the message and stormed back to my bathroom. I couldn't think straight. I grabbed the curling iron and began quickly curling my hair. I was angry to the point of tears. My hair was half way done when I finally broke down crying. I leaned against the wall and began bawling. I could feel Dylan kicking my stomach hard. I whined lightly.
"Stop baby. I'm sorry. Mommy will pull it together. Just stop kicking me," I begged to the baby in my belly. Dylan must have been able to understand me, because the kicking stopped. I wiped away the tears and quickly finished my hair. I began apply a bit of makeup, but a sharp pain in my stomach. I bent forward, holding my belly. I looked at the clock. Caitlyn and Nate wouldn't be here for another three hours. I closed my eyes. Concentrate. Could I be in labor? I'm only 28 weeks! No...no these aren't contractions. They must be Braxton Hicks. I had Braxton Hicks contractions at the beginning of week 23 and they hadn't come back. I wasn't in labor. I sighed and laid down on the bed. I felt a few tears slip past my eyes. I wanted Shane there to rub my back. I picked up my phone to call him and remembered why we were living apart in the first place. I dropped the phone on my bed and covered my eyes.
"Shane, why can't you just listen to me?" I asked, my voice getting louder.
"I'm listening to you Mitchie! I don't think you're getting it through your head. I can't just stop working right now! If I was a solo artist like you, then I could just stop working. Unfortunately, I'm in a band. That means that Nate and Jason are part of decisions too," Shane said. I growled.
"You act like I'm asking for you to give up your life! I'm asking for you to come with me to the doctors! You have come with me to every appointment up until now. Connect 3 can always record their music at any time! But I have an appointment now. Please Shane," I said, exhausted from fighting. We were always fighting. I swear, the neighbors could hear us.
"Mitchie, the world does not revolve around you! Get over it!" Shane yelled. I felt my blood boil.
"Shane Gray, if you walk out that door, do not come back!" I yelled as he opened the front door. He turned around and looked at me.
"Wouldn't dream of it princess," he sneered before slamming the door.
"I am a terrible wife," I said, putting a pillow over my face as the Braxton Hicks contractions raged on. I still wanted Shane. He and I always had these hiccups in our relationship. I bit my lip and sigh as I broke skin. I grabbed my phone again and dialed his number. I heard the phone ring once, twice, three times. I felt a few tears slip past my eyes again.
"Mitchie?" Shane asked through the phone, out of breath.
"Come home?" I asked through my tears.
"What's wrong baby?" he asked, concerned.
"I miss you so much Shane. Just please come home?" I whined. I heard Shane sigh.
"You didn't want me to come home, remember?" Shane reminded.
"Please Shane. Can we just forget that it happened?" I whined.
"No, I'm sorry Mitchie, but we need to remember that this happened. I know that it hurts, but we need to remember how this felt," Shane said. I sighed as a couple tears fell. These Braxton Hicks weren't going away. They were just getting worse. These couldn't be Braxton Hicks.
"Shane...please?" I begged.
"Mitchie, we just need another day or two," he said. I winced in pain.
"Shane...please come home. I need you now," I said.
"Mitchie-"
"No, Shane. Something's not right. My whole stomach feels tight. It hurts," I said, whimpering.
"I'm on my way," Shane said.
"Okay. I'll be here," I said pitifully.
"I love you," he said gently.
"I love you, too," I replied. We hung up and I covered my face with the pillow again. This wasn't how things were supposed to go down tonight. I was a terrible wife.
"This is normal?" I asked Dr. Frey as she informed me that my pains were simply the round ligaments stretching because of my baby's growth.
"Very. In fact, you should take it as a sign that you're baby is growing at the perfect speed. It's usually around the start of the third trimester that this begins. You're in the last stage of pregnancy and your baby is really going to just be gaining a lot of weight. All of their body parts have developed and now it's just about growing to a healthy weight. Dr. Frey explained. I nodded nervously.
"So is there anything that she can do to ease the pain?" Shane asked.
"Well, a lot of women have said laying down with your legs apart help ease the pain a bit. You could try a yoga class that's full of expecting mothers to help relieve the pain. Getting up and walking around the house would help. If you have a swimming pool, you could always swim for a little bit," Dr. Frey suggested. I nodded and leaned my head back. I was so relieved that Dylan was okay.
"Great! So Mitchie and the baby are okay? Everything's good?" Shane asked.
"Yes! But if anything should happen in the next few months before the delivery, I will be on call, as will the rest of the team. Mitchie, I know you guys are big travelers, but in the last trimester, you should be staying closer to home should the baby decide to make an early entrance. The likelihood of you going into labor before 36 weeks is extremely uncommon and if you find yourself having to take a trip before week 36, then you should be alright, but after week 36, if you have any interviews, I suggest doing it via webchat," Dr. Frey said. I nodded to her, making it clear that I understood what she was telling me.
"And if you have any kind of bleeding, whether it's spotting or not, you call me. Don't try to be brave and push through it. You call me immediately," Dr. Frey warned.
"I will," I said. Dr. Frey knew me too well. I was one of those people who waited until it was dire to go into the hospital. I couldn't do that this time.
"Now Shane, Mitchie isn't going to be as energetic as she has been recently. It's going to be like the first trimester all over again, except more extreme. Now I know you're experiencing sympathy pregnancy, meaning you'll essentially feel what she's going to be feeling. Meaning you'll both be feeling like crap," Dr. Frey said. Shane sighed.
"Well that's just great," he said sarcastically.
"Shut up Shane," I responded.
"Shane, do you think you're going to be able to keep it together for Mitchie?" Dr. Frey asked.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Shane asked, clearly offended.
"Shane, your case of sympathy pregnancy is not normal. Most men don't share the mood swings like their wives. I need to know that when it comes down to it, you are going to be the rock that Mitchie can lean on," Dr. Frey said gently.
"Of course I am!" Shane said, offended. Even I was a little shocked by Dr. Frey's concern, but she nodded and let us leave. Shane was out the door before I was, and Dr. Frey grabbed my arm. I turned to her, confused.
"I know it's not my place, but I think you and Shane should consider seeing a counselor," she said. I smiled at her concern, but shook my head.
"Shane and I don't need a counselor," I said, saying it to convince myself rather than Dr. Frey. She nodded in understand but slipped me a business card anyways.
"Well, if you change your mind, that is the marriage counselor that I would recommend. Even if it's only for one session," she said. I took the card and slipped it in my pocket before following after my husband.
"Do you want me to bring you back to the house? Or should I just drop you off at Nate and Caitlyn's?" Shane asked as we climbed back into the car. I looked at him in disbelief.
"Are you serious Shane?" I asked.
"Yes, I'm serious," he said. I could feel my blood boiling again. Shane had a knack of doing that to me recently.
"Why won't you just take me?" I asked.
"I was actually doing something before you called me," Shane said. I glared at him.
"I'm sure it can wait until tomorrow. The store opens in twenty minutes. Just drive me over there and I'll leave with Nate and Caitlyn," I said.
"I can't. I have someone waiting for me," he said. This caught my attention.
"Who?" I asked softly.
"It's none of your business," Shane replied.
"I'm your wife. It kind of is my business," I replied haughtily.
"You kicked me out. It's not your business," Shane snapped.
"You act like we're getting a divorce or something!" I exclaimed, exasperated.
"Well maybe we are," he said. That shut me up. What was he saying?
"Right, you're meeting with a lawyer at 11:40 at night," I sneered.
"You know I have plenty of personal friends who are lawyers. And I'd have to meet with them at night to keep the media off my tail. Did you think about that?" Shane retorted. I bit my cheek. Was he serious? I blinked back the tears that threatened to fall. I had cried over Shane enough for a lifetime, I wasn't about to cry over him in front of him.
"So you want a divorce?" I asked, the sadness in my voice clear. I saw the flicker of regret in his eyes. Was he regretting telling me his plan? Or was he lying? I wasn't sure. But as soon as it was there, it was gone again.
"Maybe I do," he said quietly. I wasn't expecting that answer. I nodded and leaned down and grabbed my purse.
"Never mind. I don't need a ride. The store is only a block from here. Just let your pregnant wife walk," I said. I opened the door and pulled myself out. I slammed the door and began walking towards the store. Thankfully, I had chosen to wear flats, not heels. I waddled down the sidewalk and heard the car door shut.
"Get in the car Mitchie!" Shane yelled. I rolled my eyes and kept walking.
"Go away Shane," I said angrily.
"Come on baby. Get back in the car," he said. I spun around.
"Don't 'baby' me Shane Gray! Just go talk to your lawyers and draw up divorce papers. I'll sign them! We'll have a quick divorce. I promise!" I exclaimed. Shane faltered for a moment, and I took the opportunity to turn away from him again. I knew he kept following me, but I didn't acknowledge him and he didn't acknowledge me. I was just down the road from the store when I heard a honk. I turned and saw a limousine drive up to me. The door opened and Nate crawled out, looking pissed off. He looked back at Shane and then turned to me.
"Get in the car," he demanded. I nodded and climbed in as fast as I could. I saw Nate begin walking towards Shane, but I looked at Caitlyn.
"Oh hun, I'm sorry," Caitlyn said as I broke down. I shook my head.
"I should have seen this coming. Everybody told me that getting married young was going to backfire. I should have waited," I cried.
"No, Mitchie. You did nothing wrong. You and Shane are just going through a rough patch.
"He wants a divorce Caitlyn!" I said through the tears.
"What?! Where did you hear that ludicrous idea?" she asked.
"He told me himself! He told me that he was meeting a lawyer to draw up the papers tonight," I cried out.
"Honey, he was lying to you," she said. I looked at her in disbelief.
"How would you know?" I asked.
"Because he's been bumming on our couch for the past few weeks. He wants to fix everything between you two just as much as you do. But he can't do that if you both are hormonal wrecks. He was trying to get some space so he could clear his head. It's unfortunately not helped at all. He's just as moody as you. And when we're talking on the phone and you're telling me about your cravings, I swear to God, he's whining to Nate about how the same thing sounds so good," she said. I chuckled lightly.
"What do I do Caitlyn?" I asked softly.
"Honestly? I think you need to go see a counselor. Just talk to someone in a controlled environment. It'll do you both some good," she said.
"My doctor told me the same thing, so it must be right, but she didn't reassure me quite like you can. You're amazing Caity," I said.
"I do so much for this world, it's hard to not be amazing," she said. She and I both burst into laughter. She opened her purse and pulled out an eyeliner pencil and a tube of mascara.
"I know that it's not exactly what you had on before the tears, but it's better than going out there looking like a watered down raccoon," Caitlyn said. I smiled and allowed her to apply a fresh coat of make up. Tomorrow I would suggest counseling to Shane. But until then, this was my night. I needed to enjoy it.
The next morning, I sat on the couch watching Saturday morning Cartoons with Dani who had been dropped off at my house by my parents who had been getting on a plane to go look at houses back in Minnesota. I had only gotten a few hours of sleep, but I'd had so much fun with Dani the last few times we had spent time together that it didn't even matter to me. I was stroking her silky brown hair as she laid her head on my lap. Knowing that she was moving back to Minnesota with my parents made me sad, but I knew that I wouldn't be able to realistically raise Dani and Dylan without Shane.
"Wanna help me make breakfast?" I asked. She shot up and nodded excitedly.
"What are you in the mood for?" I asked.
"Mitchie, it's Saturday. We always have waffles on Saturday," she said.
"Well how about we mix it up a bit?" I suggested.
"How?" she asked.
"How about Banana pancakes?" I suggested. I watched her eyes lit up at the idea of something different.
"Sure!" she exclaimed and ran into the kitchen. I waddled into the kitchen behind her and began pulling out the pancake mix and some bananas. I showed her how to mix the pancake mix and pour the pancake mix onto the griddle.
"Alright, now don't touch the griddle, cause it's hot," I warned.
"I'm not a baby Mitchie," Dani said, rolling her eyes playfully. I smiled and looked at the clock. It was already almost nine in the morning. I would call Shane soon enough.
"What else do you want with your breakfast?" I asked.
"Bacon!" she exclaimed. I opened the refrigerator and grabbed the bacon. I pulled out a frying pan and let it heat up on the stove. I helped Dani flip the pancakes and began cooking the bacon. It wasn't much longer that I was putting her pancakes and bacon on her plate. I walked over to the fridge.
"Strawberries or blueberries?" I asked.
"Both!" she exclaimed.
"Both!?" I asked.
"Yes, both," she confirmed. I pulled both the strawberries and blueberries out and placed them on the counter.
"Milk or OJ?" I asked.
"Definitely OJ," Dani said. I nodded and took that out of the fridge as well. I dished up the fruit and pour the orange juice into our cups. I walked back over to the fridge and just saw her standing there, waiting for me to say something.
"Alright, go sit down," I said, pushing the stool back to the counter. She skipped over to her plate at the table and sat in her chair. I waddled over and took my own seat. I watched as she dug into her pancakes.
"Good?" I asked. She nodded and gave me a thumbs up. I smiled and began eating my own food.
"You know Mitchie, you're gonna be a good mom," Dani said between her blueberries and bacon. I looked at her and felt my heart soar. That meant a lot from my little sister.
"Well thank you Dani," I said. We were almost finished when the door bell rang. Dani's head shot up.
"I'll get it!" she screamed and tore off towards the door. I laughed and followed her as quickly as I could. I heard her open the door up and squeal.
"Shane! You're here!" she exclaimed. I felt my smile fall a little. He was here? I rounded the corner to the front door and sure enough, there he stood with a duffel bag.
"Shane? What are you doing here?" I asked as he pulled out of Dani's bone crushing hug.
"I need to talk to you," he said.
"Dani, why don't you go finish your breakfast and watch some more cartoons?" I suggested. She rolled her eyes, but complied with my request. I looked at Shane cautiously.
"Where can we talk?" he asked. I gestured to the bedroom and he nodded. We went in and closed the door behind us.
"So what's up?" I asked, crossing my arms.
"Counseling," he said. I could feel my eyebrows rise at his strange response.
"Come again?" I asked.
"Let's do couples counseling. Just try one session with me and see how it works for us?" he said. I bit my lip. Despite all of our problems, Shane and I were still somehow on the same wavelength.
"Did Caitlyn put you up to this?" I asked.
"No. I haven't seen Caitlyn since yesterday," Shane said.
"But she told me that you were sleeping on their couch," I said.
"Last night, Nate told me to not bother going back to his place last night. So I checked into a hotel where I've had all night to think about how we can fix our relationship," Shane said. I looked into his eyes and only saw the sincerity behind them.
"Alright. We'll try counseling," I said.
"Great! We have a session for this afternoon," he said. I threw my hands in the air.
"Well who the heck is going to watch Dani?" I asked, irritated that he'd already booked an appointment.
"Well...maybe Emily and Jason would watch her?" Shane suggested. I groaned and ran my hand through my hair.
"No, Emily told me that she and Jason were taking a mini vacation to Napa this weekend," I said.
"Nate and Caitlyn?" he offered.
"Dani almost broke Nate's piano last time she was there. We've established that it's not the best place for her," I said, remembering when Dani and I had picked Caitlyn up for our girls night. Not even 10 minutes and Dani was destroying Nate's most valuable possessions.
"Where are your parents?" he asked.
"They're looking at houses back in Minnesota," I said. Shane sighed and glanced at the door.
"How about she just comes with us? We can bring my laptop and she can watch a movie or something?" Shane suggested. I groaned at this option. Dani was a fairly good child, but she was a bit...nosy.
"Alright, we'll see how that works," I said.
"Great. The appointment is at two," he said. I nodded and opened the door to the bedroom.
"You can either stay here for now or you can go do whatever," I said. He seemed to weigh these options for awhile.
"I'll go out for a couple hours," he said. I was a little upset when he said this, but I nodded and watched him leave the house.
"Why'd Shane leave again?" Dani asked.
"He's just got to go run some errands. He'll be back later. Dani, Shane and I have an appointment around two today. We need you to come along with us, but will you be able to be on your best behavior?" I asked.
"What will I get out of this?" she asked.
"I'll take you to your favorite restaurant after the appointment," I said. She seemed to consider this for a few minutes and then looked at me.
"I promise I'll be an angel."
"Are you sure that this is okay?" I asked, sitting on the couch in the shrink's office. Dani was sitting in a corner of the room in a bean bag with Shane's netbook on her lap and his headphones on her head.
"Oh of course. Plenty of clients bring their children into their sessions when they can't find anyone to watch them. It's perfectly fine as long as you both are comfortable," Dr. Andrea Fields said.
"I'm fine with it," Shane said. I nodded in agreement.
"Alright, then let's start. What do you guys think is your main problem?" she asked, taking out her clipboard.
"Well...I think that it's that we both have our own way of doing things and our ways collide," I said. I could see Shane's foot begin wiggling a bit, meaning he was holding his tongue about something. I glance at him.
"Shane, would you agree with this?" Andrea said.
"Not really. I mean, it's true, but I don't think that's the main problem," he said.
"What do you think the main problem is?" I asked.
"You have to control everything Mitchie. And then when I try to regain some of my control, you get bat shit crazy," Shane said. I faltered a little, but I was not about to back down.
"I'm bat shit crazy? At least I can accept my emotional crap. I know you drink a lot Shane," I said, opening up a can of something that we'd never discussed in the past.
"Shane, do you drink a lot?" Andrea asked, taking control back.
"I have a beer every now and then," Shane said.
"But beers aren't the only alcoholic drink. How often do you take in any kind of alcoholic beverage?" she asked.
"Maybe...a few times a week, but I don't have a problem," Shane said.
"Did you start drinking more when you found out Mitchie was pregnant?" she asked gently. I hadn't even considered this. Was that the reason. Shane sat there and glared at the therapist for a few minutes before he nodded slowly.
"Shane, I don't want you to feel like you're being blamed for all the problems, but I want to focus on that for just a few minutes," Andrea said calmly. Her voice was soothing. I decided that I preferred it to the shrinks I had when I was younger.
"Alright," Shane said.
"Now Shane, why do you choose to drink?" she asked.
"Because drinking makes me relax," he said.
"And when you found out Mitchie was pregnant it stressed you out?" she asked. Shane nodded.
"Now Shane, I'll have Mitchie to give me the answer, but I want to hear your response," Andrea said. Shane nodded and glanced at me.
"Have you ever laid a hand on Mitchie when you were drinking?" she asked. I could see his body stiffen for a second before he nodded slightly.
"What did you do?" she asked, jotting some notes down in her notepad.
"I've shoved her," he said quietly.
"How many times have you pushed her?" she asked.
"Twice," he said honestly. The fact that he was telling someone this made me proud. He really wanted to fix this. Fix us.
"Mitchie, what are you feeling when he pushes you?" she asked. I shrugged for a second.
"The first time I was scared. The next time I was terrified. I thought he would push me onto the ground and I would hurt the baby," I said.
"Shane, how do you feel when you hear that you scared Mitchie?" she asked.
"I never wanted to be the cause of fear for her," he said.
"When was the last time you drank?" she asked. Shane thought about it and shrugged.
"I don't know how long it's been, but the last time I drank was the night Mitchie stayed at her parents house for the night," Shane said. I was shocked. He hadn't drank at all? I was amazed.
"So you haven't drank anything?" she asked. He shook his head. I was proud of him.
"That's very good Shane. If you have a drink on special occasions, that's fine. But you don't want to have alcohol become a coping method. Especially not with a child on the way," Andrea said. I couldn't help wipe at the tears in my eyes, gaining the attention of Shane and Andrea.
"Mitchie, why are you crying?" she asked. I shrugged and sniffled.
"Come on Mitch. I just opened up. It's your turn now," Shane said gently. I looked up at them and smiled lightly.
"I'm just...really proud of Shane," I whispered, not trusting my voice.
"Why are you proud of him?" Andrea asked.
"I'm proud that he was able to make the choice to stop drinking," I said, lowering my head, not wanting my overly emotional self to continue crying.
"Is there any other reason you're crying?" Andrea asked gently. I thought back to sitting in my parents' guest bedroom, snapping the rubber band against my wrist.
"Because I'm not good enough to be his wife," I said truthfully.
"Why do you say that Mitchie?" she asked, coaxing me to open up more.
"Because it's true. Shane deserves the best. And if I'm not the best, then he's just going to be stuck," I said, feeling like shit. Here, Shane had done something amazing and I had, in a way, broken the promise I made him on the night that we first made love.
"Mitchie, why would you say that?" he asked. I glanced at Andrea who was watching me. I finally opened up about my past. The cutting. The not eating. The depression. I told her about how Shane had seen the scars. How he made me promise not to harm myself anymore. Everyone once in awhile, I would glance at Shane. It was like pouring salt in an open wound. It was like I could see his heart breaking.
"So have you harmed yourself recently?" she asked. I began to say no, but I remembered the broken rubber band. I nodded very slowly. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Shane place his face in his hands. I had never felt so guilty.
"What did you do to harm yourself?" Andrea asked.
"I snapped a rubber band on my wrist," I said.
"Anything else?" she asked. I shook my head.
"When did you start snapping your wrist?" she asked.
"I only did it once at my parents house...but I've thought about doing it again recently," I said.
"When was the last time you wanted to?" she asked.
"Last night," I said meekly. Andrea began jotting things down in her notepad.
"And why was that?" she asked. I glanced at Shane who was looking at me, guilt and tears in his eyes. I was not expecting therapy to get this emotional with Shane.
"Shane told me he wanted a divorce," I said softly.
"Did you Shane?" Andrea asked.
"I...I did, but I didn't mean it. I just said it because Mitchie was jumping to that conclusion and she had kicked me out and I wanted her to be hurt like I was hurt when she told me not to come back home," Shane said. He glanced at me with the guilt still in his eyes.
"If I knew that you have been in that kind of place I would have never lied to you like that," he said.
"But...I didn't think I was in that place until you said that," I said.
"Well Mitchie...Shane...is there any other reasons why you guys think you're having problems?" Andrea asked. Shane glanced at me and I locked eyes with him. We were both extremely upset by everything that had been said, but I was ready to make everything better again.
"I think Mitchie might be afraid of me cheating on her again," Shane said, not looking away from my face.
"You've cheated before?" Andrea asked. Shane nodded.
"We had been dating for awhile and I made a huge mistake and we ended up breaking up for a long time after that," Shane said.
"Mitchie, are you scared that he'll cheat on you?" Andrea asked again. I nodded lightly.
"Does that stem from the whole 'you don't feel enough for Shane' thing?" she asked. I nodded again, not trusting my voice again.
"How much time did you guys spend with each other before the baby?" Andrea asked.
"Almost every hour of every day," I said.
"And after you found out about the baby?" she asked.
"Well...I think things started going south when Mitchie went back home when I was on tour because she was feeling sick and she wanted to find out if she was pregnant. I think that after that, we were spending less and less time with each other. Every day it was just more and more time apart," Shane said.
"Why weren't you guys spending more time together?" Andrea asked.
"Well, almost immediately after the tour wrapped up, I bought our new house and it was a bit of a fixer upper at first, but I wanted it to be a surprise for Mitchie, so I would be spending most of my day either at the studio doing my job or fixing up the new house. Mitchie, of course, didn't know what was going on, which is why the fear that I'll cheat on her reemerged," Shane said.
"Mitchie?"
"Well...yeah. I mean, it was like Shane was my security blanket and then suddenly I never had that. I just thought the worst," I said.
"Now...this may seem personal, but when was the last time you guys had sex?" Andrea asked.
"Forever. He won't have sex with me," I said immediately.
"It's not that I won't have sex with you. It just makes me uncomfortable with our child being right there with us," Shane admitted.
"What's sex?" a small voice from the corner asked. All of our heads snapped over to Dani.
"Monkey, you'd better put those head phones back on," Shane warned.
"But the computer died," Dani said with a slight pout on her face. Shane sighed and pulled his iPad out of his computer bag and handed it to her. She plugged in the headphones and got wrapped up in something else.
"Sorry about that," I apologized.
"Don't worry. It's fine," Andrea said, refocusing herself.
"So you guys haven't had sex in a long time because you, Shane, feel uncomfortable about the child being there," she stated. We nodded in agreement.
"Well, then Mitchie, I think you should acknowledge that it makes him uncomfortable," Andrea said. I sighed.
"But it's not like it's going to harm the baby," I said.
"That's not the point. To you, the baby is still part of your body. To me, that's like having our kid in between us while we're having sex. And while it won't harm the baby, it's not exactly comfortable for me knowing they're right there," he said.
"Well what about when I was still fairly thin?" I asked.
"I didn't know that I wouldn't hurt the baby then," Shane said.
"I told you it wouldn't," I said.
"You also told me that waxing doesn't hurt," Shane said. I cracked a small smile, remembering a night a few nights before our wedding when he, Caitlyn, Nate, Jason, and I were all playing truth or dare and Caitlyn had dared him to wax his legs. On the plus side, he had very soft legs on our wedding night.
"Shane, having sex while Mitchie is pregnant is perfectly safe unless your doctor has advised against it," Andrea said, clearing that up.
"What about his discomfort for having sex while I'm pregnant?" I asked.
"Well, there are other ways you guys can show affection. I've had other clients in the same position and some of the husbands have show affection in other ways, like give long massages. What I think the issue is with you guys is that you went from having constant contact and affection every day all day to nothing. Those are two extremes that aren't always healthy. While you guys are married, you are still your own people. My suggestion is that during the day, be your own person, but at night, show each other that you love each other. You should both compromise with each other. One night, have sex despite that it may make you a bit uncomfortable Shane. Another night, just cuddle up on the couch and watch a movie, even though it may not be your idea of a good night Mitchie," Andrea said. Shane and I both nodded, taking in what she had to say. I could slowly feel myself relaxing and the idea that Shane and I could fix this made me smile.
"Alright, I think our time is up. Anything else you two would like to tell each other?" Andrea asked. I turned to Shane and smiled.
"Shane...I haven't felt this relaxed with you in a long time. Thank you so much for suggesting this. I love you more than you know," I said.
"Mitchie, I know we aren't perfect, but we're going to get through this. I love you too," Shane said, grabbing my hand and kissing the back of it.
"Thank you Dr. Andrea," I said.
"Thanks," Shane said. I walked over to Dani and saw that she was asleep in the corner. I took off the headphones and slipped the iPad out of her hands. Shane came and picked her up and grabbed his laptop bag. He took my hand and we walked out of there all together.
Aww! Everything is good in Smitchie land! Is it here to stay or will it go away? This is already chapter 10! Holy crap! I can't believe it! Do you know what that means? It means we have two more chapters! :O Next chapter and then the epilogue. I'm very sad to see it go, but I'm excited because I want you all to know what happens in the end!
Alright, and this is the last chapter that I'll have you guys guessing what song it is, because for next chapter, there is a song that I want you guys to listen to while you read the chapter, and it's NOT Demi Lovato. But I think you guys will like the song. The people who were able to get the song in the last chapter were BrighterRocky and Andy95S! Yes, the chapter was, in fact, "For the Love of a Daughter!"
Okay, I don't think there's really anything else to address. Next chapter we see if Dylan is a boy or a girl! :O Now if you read my stories One Year and The Final Year before I took them down to rewrite them (still working on that) then you know that I have a history of making Smitchie's children girls. So will Dylan be a girl? Or will I mix it up and it will be a boy? We'll find out!
The original chapter was 7,126 words! :O This one is 6,461 words. That means there's a new post on the Bonus Scenes Blog! It's an extended scene of Mitchie and Dani at breakfast. So feel free to check it out!
I'm going to challenge you guys this chapter. If you guys can somehow get this story to have more than 100 reviews (so for everyone to review this chapter) I will post the next chapter and the epilogue on Saturday and Sunday respectively. Are you guys up to the challenge? It's not going to be easy, but I know you guys can work wonders. I have faith in you guys!
Alright, I love you guys! Have a great rest of the week and I'll see you guys Saturday!
Love
-T