Hiya all you lovely people! So I ran into a bit of a writer's block for the past couple of days. I think chapters 8 and 9 fried my mind and did quite the number on my muse.

Hope you'll like this chapter! :)

I sit up bolt right on the bed as soon as I'm startled awake by Grimmjow's shout in the middle of the night. The first thing that crosses my mind is "what the fuck!" but when I see his pale, sweaty face, the words wither on my tongue instantly. I've never seen him so colorless, and his eyes—wide and distraught—look like they belong to someone else.

"What's wrong?" I blurt out, and at the same time reaching out to touch his forehead.

He flinches as though my touch burns him, but after blinking and staring at me for a few more seconds, his body relaxes, and he sinks back onto the bed, his brows furrowed and teeth gritted like he's frustrated. He covers his eyes with the back of his hand, hiding his face from me. I'm tempted to tease him by saying that he looks constipated, but this doesn't seem appropriate at the moment, so I wait quietly for him to explain.

The wait stretches from seconds to minutes, and then just as a sense of disappointed settles in the pit of my stomach, he reaches out and holds my wrist. "Bad dream," he croaks, his voice scratchy and tired.

I ask curiously, "What was it about?"

He shifts his hand away from his eyes and takes a peek at me. "I'd rather not say."

I feel a stab of annoyance, but I can't stay mad at someone who looks so haunted. Whatever it is must have been really distressing, though I can't imagine what could possibly scare someone like him. Then my mind flashes back to the strange behaviors that I've observed from him—the strange flustered appearance last night, the occasional loss of his usual suave and cocky manner, his bipolar tendencies during intimate moments—and I find myself wondering if it's related.

Despite my distaste for stereotypical movie plots, I can't help but wonder if there's something in his past that is affecting him. It can't possibly be me. I haven't done anything to him.

When I look at him again, his eyes are closed and he seems to have fallen back to sleep. His hand is still wrapped around mine, so I lie down carefully, not wanting to wake him up. It's dark enough outside that I know we still have a few hours left to rest, so I force my mind to put aside all thoughts and try my best to sleep.

I swim in and out of slumber throughout the next few hours. Grimmjow tosses and turns and even steals the duvet, but at least he doesn't wake up screaming again.

Eventually, the sunlight that filtered in through the blinds becomes bright enough to bother me, and I finally drag my sorry, exhausted ass out of bed. I turn off the alarm so that it doesn't go off while Grimmjow's still asleep, then I trudge to my bathroom and push through my morning routine. I try to be quieter than normal, keeping in mind that I'm not alone in this apartment. It feels thrilling in a strange way.

He wakes up while I'm rummaging my closet for something to wear. After a muttered greeting and an obnoxiously loud yawn, he swings his legs over the side of the bed and rubs his face until it's slightly flushed before taking his turn in the bathroom.

My heartbeat remains rapid the entire time as I listen to the water running next door. This is technically our first "morning after". Unfortunately, after our short talk last night, all he told me was that I "stand a chance" before we were distracted by...each other. At the heat of the moment, that was all I needed to hear, but now that I'm fully awake and my sense of logic is with me, it dawns on me that the answer doesn't tell me anything.

I still don't know how he really feels about me, and I still haven't the slightest clue about where we stand—are we a couple? Are we simply becoming friends?

I'm so lost in my own thoughts that I don't realize that he's back in the room until he grabs me from behind. I jump in surprise, and before I have time to do anything else, he spins me around to face him and pulls me into a crushing kiss. I call it crushing because it's so aggressive and overwhelming that I have to fight just to be able to breathe. I become light-headed at first, but then he lets up a little and I finally respond; slipping my hands over the back of his neck and drawing him in closer.

We end up doing it against my closet. The hesitation and doubt I sensed in him yesterday is nowhere to be found. If anything, he seems to be trying to make up for it by being even rougher than usual—almost like he's angry. I soak it all up hungrily, not caring that I might end up walking funny later. Just the sight of his muscles bunching and flexing on his arms and abdomen as he moves is arousing enough to make my head spin, and oh, the sounds—his low, gravelly grunts, the groans, the raspy murmurs of "fuck" that he keeps repeating under his breath—just push me even closer to the edge. The discomfort from having my leg hooked around his hip is nothing compared to the pleasure he's driving into me, over and over again until I climax; my body shuddering involuntarily as I let loose a string of expletives.

He lets me down slowly afterwards, his chest heaving from his own orgasm, and we sink down to the floor with our backs leaning against the closet. I make a face at him to indicate just how worn-out I am, only to have him chuckle at my expense. The fierce scowl on my face does nothing to deter him.

What I don't show, though, is the relief that floods my chest as he seems to have returned to his normal self. Yes, back to his arrogant, shameless self, which is evident in the way he gets dressed slowly in front of me with a devilish smirk on his face.

He gives me a ride to work. Since he'll be working at the same place anyway, he decides to stay here and wait for his friends. I don't want to seem clingy, so I make my way to the back and leave him with his cigarette in front of the shop.

Renji pounces on me like a hyperactive puppy the minute he sees me.

"Did he drive you here?" he asks with a big grin. "Does this mean you guys are together?"

I remember how concerned he had been about Grimmjow's attitude and, for a moment, consider lying to him, but I can't. "Yes, he drove me here...but uhh...I'm still trying to figure out the second part."

The cheer on Renji's face drains immediately. "Ichi—"

"I've told him, Ren," I add hastily before he launches into a lecture. I tell him everything—except for the bad dream—and his features turn from annoyed to disturbed.

"It sounds like something's wrong with him," Renji says, crossing his arms over his chest. "I don't know if this is such a good idea, man."

"Of course it is," I snap a little harsher than I mean to. "I really like him."

"And you guys still..." Renji tries but stumbles on the phrase.

I know what he wants to say. "Yes, we still 'hang out'," I say. It's not that I want to sound defensive, but I really don't see why Renji is so fucking worried. Having sex doesn't get in the way of us getting to know each other, does it? It's not like there is a possibility of me accidentally getting knocked up. A voice inside my head tells me that there is a small flaw in my logic, but the important part is that I'm happy, isn't it?

"Well I'm sorry for caring," Renji counters bitterly. Before I can apologize and explain myself, he turns around and stomps off. I stare at his back, torn between standing my ground and placating him, but then Geta-boshi chooses that very moment to barge into the office and tell me about the large order that came in during the night. I take one last look at Renji's red pony tail, then sigh and resign myself to the fact that I will have to deal with an angry best friend later.

I've been both dreading and looking forward to lunch time at the same time, and when it finally arrives I'm so restless that I can't stop shaking my legs under the desk. As usual, Geta-boshi sticks his head into the office—with his hat in tow—and announces loudly that it's time for me to go out to join the rest of humanity.

Should I sit next to him? Should I? Will that seem too obvious? Does he even want his friends to know about...us? Wait, is there even an us? My stomach twists and cramps as I ponder these questions. It is all for nothing, though. As it turns out, Ilforte and Skinny Freak have already taken up the seats on either side of the man, so I just laugh at myself inwardly and sit down next to Renji.

Renji shifts aside slightly, barely noticeable but it doesn't escape me. A scowl returns to my face. Really? Is it such a big deal? Renji is usually an easy-going guy, I've probably only seen him sulk like that a handful of times throughout our friendship. My mood sours further when he turns—I swear he's doing it intentionally—to Ilforte and starts up a conversation about a television show that I don't know.

Not wanting to seem over-eager, I steal a glance at Grimmjow, who's sitting almost directly across from me. I thought I'm being very subtle, but I'm immediately greeted by a look of utter hatred from Skinny Freak. I look away quickly, my face heating up for no reason. What the fuck is the problem with that man?

Then it suddenly occurs to me—could it be that Skinny Freak has the hots for Grimmjow? Is that why he's so protective of him? Oh! Maybe he hates me because he's jealous! I feel an unexpected rush of glee before I quench it hastily, quite horrified that I can be so petulant. My eyes dart to Grimmjow's face again, and this time I manage to catch his eyes. He grins at me through a mouthful of half-chewed burger. Gross.

"So how's the program coming along?" Geta-boshi's voice drags my attention away from Grimmjow's grease-covered lips.

For a second, my mind is completely blank, then it clicks and I shake my head. "Not even half done," I reply honestly.

Ilforte cuts in reassuringly, "And that's perfectly fine. Take all the time you need, as long as you deliver a high-quality piece of work."

I nod absently as I note how Skinny Freak turns his deadly glare from me to his blonde friend instead. All of a sudden, it becomes glaringly obvious. Ilforte, for reasons unbeknownst to me, is playing fucking matchmaker. What other explanation can there be? Who the hell pays so much money to get a simple piece of software done yet doesn't provide a deadline? I think back about how the man knew to tell about Grimmjow's whereabouts yesterday, and my cheeks flares anew like they're on fire.

The rest of lunch goes by relatively peacefully. The crew returns to the shop to continue their work while I follow Geta-boshi to the back to help with the lunch mess. To my disappointment, Renji immediately sets off on a delivery and I don't get the chance to talk to him. As annoyed as I am with his attitude, having him mad at me weighs heavily on my chest and I can't wait to settle the problem. If we have to duke it out to solve it, then so be it. It would still be miles better than this stupid silent war.

I tie off the garbage bag and make my way to the back door to throw it into the large dumpsters. I'm not really paying attention to my surroundings because I'm thinking hard about what I'm going to say to Renji, so I don't notice that the back lane isn't empty until I have the back door half-open. Luckily for me, the other party is just as oblivious to my presence as I was to theirs. I turn to head back into the shop, but then I catch a familiar name and freeze mid-stride.

"—last time. Ya know Grimm can't go through this again!" Skinny Freak's voice is hushed but high-pitched in agitation.

"The boy is nothing like my brother," Ilforte says. "I can feel it, what they have is—"

"That's beside the point you idiot! Grimm can't handle this," Skinny Freak hisses. "Like it or not, this is not something he can control!"

I swallow thickly. Ilforte's brother? Much as I don't appreciate the name, "the boy" obviously refers to me. This can only mean that...Ilforte's brother is Grimmjow's ex? But what does Skinny Freak mean when he said that Grimmjow "can't handle this"? Handle what? Me? A relationship?

My god. Can this be any more clichéd? Handsome tough guy, hurt by a past love, therefore scarring him forever. Come on, Skinny Freak, Grimmjow is a fucking grownup. Surely he can handle a breakup or two? This infuriates me so much that I change my mind about sneaking back in unnoticed. I step out fully from the door, not caring if I'd be glared to death when Skinny Freak sees me.

Then the man says something that sends a chill down my spine and stops me in my tracks.

"Ya just watch," he says, sounding surprisingly serious. "Grimm's gonna break this kid, I can promise ya that."

The rest of the day crawls by like a stream of molasses. I find myself unable to concentrate. My eyes are fixed on the computer screen, seeing the words and pictures yet not comprehending them. Skinny Freak's warning replays in my head, over and over again like a broken record.

Can you blame me for feeling a little disturbed? Grimmjow's going to break me, apparently.

Literally? Is that what Grimmjow "can't control"? His temper? Maybe he has some violent tendencies and might end up "breaking" me that way? I know Grimmjow is strong and aggressive, if his preferences in bed is anything to go by, but is he actually dangerous enough to pose a physical threat? I'm not some weakling—in fact I'm actually pretty sufficient in self defense techniques, not that I'm bragging—but I also know that when it comes down to brute strength, Grimmjow's heavier and bigger than I am.

Shit, I can't stop speculating, and it's driving me nuts. Now I'm not sure what to think. Did Grimmjow's ex break up with him over domestic abuse? But if that's the case, why would it be "Grimm can't go through this again"? Wouldn't it be the other way around? And I'm not like the ex. How so? Different as in I can take care of myself? Different as in I won't trigger Grimmjow's temper? Different as in...

I clutch a fistful of my hair and groan in frustration. I have to stop guessing. This is killing me. To make this worse, I can't talk to anyone about it. Renji's still pissed off and I know that this news will just upset him more even if I manage to get him to talk to me again.

I consider cornering the two men and asking them to clarify, but that would be admitting that I've been eavesdropping. Call me prideful, call me stupid, but that just doesn't appeal to me. I don't want to sound like a scared little kid either. And asking Grimmjow is out of the question. It's obvious that his friends had intentionally had that conversation behind his back. I'd end up not only sounding crazy but also a snitch.

What the hell should I do?

To be continued...

Not much angst in this chapter, but I hope I manage to convey Ichigo's confusion and suspicions well enough. The main point I want to make with this chapter is the fact that Ichigo has no idea what's up with Grimmjow. He's seeing some hints of trouble but he has no context. And as you can see, the little bit of "context" he got by accident is leading him down a completely wrong path! xD I'm evil and I love it!