"Can you do it again?" Was Undyne's question.
"HOW DID YOU DO THAT?" Was Papyrus's question.
"I don't know." Was my answer to both questions. Because currently, I was a little too light on my feet and promptly toppled forward, startling the kids around me. 'Now I need more clothes. Geez, why didn't I take off the sweater?' Meanwhile, Papyrus already noticed the pet collar that I was wearing.
"SANS? WHAT'S A COLLAR DOING ON YOUR NECK?" My hands instantly flew to said area. 'What collar? Oh, right.' The collar surprisingly managed not to break throughout the whole fiasco. 'Now, how should I respond to that?'
"Uhhhhhhh…" 'I'm actually your dog? Wait, no. Um, I'm stuck in it from uhhhh… ABORT!' "Hey I forgot to get your snacks lemme just get 'em real quick BYE!" and with that, I dodged the question as gracefully as I dodged the doorway on my way to the kitchen, my forehead connecting with the wooden frame with a rather unsatisfying thunk. "Ow." Tenderly rubbing my head, I walked up to the fridge, pointedly averting my gaze from the sink as I opened the metallic door to see a bag of chips, some spaghetti, and what appeared to be the early stages of meatloaf turning into a garden of moss, not much unlike the one that my biological dad kept in our fridge (and people thought I was crazy when I told them my parents died from eating vegetables). 'Wait… I thought monster food didn't spoil.' Shrugging, I grabbed the bag of chips and wondered if I could get wosha to give the refrigerator a deep cleaning.
When I returned to the room, I soon received an impromptu, informal quiz show of "How Can We Make the Former Human Turn into A Dragon Again?" with your host, drumroll please, me. Honestly, I didn't really care. At least the house wasn't getting burned down. Then, they found out I had no idea how to magic.
"What?" I was saying that word a lot of times ever since I turned into the sentient undead. No, scratch that, ever since I fell into the underground.
"Summon your magic, maybe that was how you did it!" I looked at Undyne as if she were insane (no surprise there).
"How?" I took one look at her reaction to my comment and thought, 'Huh, I think the I-really-can't-tell-whether-you're-insane-stupid-or-just-being-a-prick-look works a bit better on my face. Doesn't really go well with blue.' Papyrus was bearing a worried expression (which he did a lot, usually because of me).
"YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO DO MAGIC?" I shook my head.
"I never learnt how to." 'Mainly because of the fact that I don't even know how to do even a beginner street magician magic trick, much less legitimate magic attacks.' That put both of them into thought before Papyrus snapped his fingers, er, phalanges (I'm gonna need to get use to thinking that), and turning to Undyne (direction. Undyne's direction. It would be very traumatizing if Papyrus suddenly turned blue and sprouted fins).
"HEY! MAYBE WE CAN ENTER A BATTLE WITH SANS!" My face was unusually quick at forming a nervous smile.
"Wat?" Undyne grinned at me, making me the slightest bit more concerned for my life.
"Yeah! Good idea punk!" 'This is not a good idea.' Papyrus and Undyne puffed their chests of as the room darkened in three quick clicks, before my soul flickered in front of me and flew to my first option.
[3FIGHT] [ACT] [ITEM] [MAGIC] [MERCY]
I noticed the new addition to my options instantly. 'Magic?' I gingerly chose act.
[3ACT]
*Ask for help *Tell a joke *Stand there and do nothing *Start singing "Living in The Sunlight" by Tiny Tim
3Ask for help
*You ask for help. Papyrus and Undyne give eachother a look. Why you didn't choose magic immediately mystifies even the most simplest of minds.
'Ah, yes. Always lovely when I knew for a fact that my narrator is saltier than seawater. About what...I have no idea.'
Papyrus(DO YOU HAVE A OPTION CALLED 'MAGIC'? USE THAT!)
[FIGHT] [ACT] [ITEM] [3MAGIC] [MERCY]
[3MAGIC]
*Bones *Less painful bones *Not painful bones *Blue bones *Orange bones *LGBT Bones *Bones that would give a rainbow a run for it's money *Blue stop sign *La chancla (the pink edition) *GB
I don't know what a blue stop sign was doing in my options at the time, but it would become very useful in life. Right now, though, I decided to pick that just to see what would happen.
3Blue stop sign
*You summoned a blue stop sign. It sits in your hands. Even though it's a few decades too early to make this joke, you're still going to call it your final smash. You also managed to confuse your friends even more than the time they first visited tem village.
*Undyne and Papyrus have decided to spare you.
[FIGHT] [ACT] [ITEM] [MAGIC] [3MERCY]
[3MERCY]
*Spare
3Spare
*YOU WON!
*You earned 0 XP and 0 gold.
I sighed in relief as the world faded into view. And gazed in even more bewilderment as the blue stop sign that I summoned during the 'battle' was still in my hands. It was quite light (I expected a stop sign to be a little heavier than the one I was currently holding, but then again, this the first time I've ever held a stop sign). I looked up from my hands to see Papyrus and Undyne mirroring my expression. In a perfect trio, we all said "Huh?" I tossed it lightly, testing it on both of my hands and swung it like a baseball bat twice. Then I mutely offered it to Undyne in hopes that she might be able to figure out what it was. All she did was raise an eyebrow.
"Punk, I don't know what you want me to do." 'Because she can't read your mind so drop the silent protagonist act already.' I cleared my imaginary throat.
"What is it?"
"A stop sign."
That evoked a rather dry response from me. "Yeah, I can see that, but what's it for?" The both of us paused before Papyrus piped up.
"FOR TELLING PEOPLE TO STOP?"
"..." Everyone seemed to give a small shrug.
"...yeah I'd believe that."
The moment I handed it to her was the moment she toppled over from it's (nonexistent?) weight. I deadpanned as she (pretended to?) struggled to lift the street sign off the ground. 'Is she just messing with me?' "Er, Undyne? You're acting's great and all, but this is getting annoying." 'Oh, now she looks like one of those heavyweight lifters.'
"CAN IT PUNK! I CAN LIFT THIS HUNK A JUNK ANY DAY!" Papyrus and I watched Undyne struggle on.
"UM, UNDYNE-"
"Shall we keep quiet for the sake of her pride?" As I said this, she let out a frustrated yell.
"Papyrus, get your butt over here and help me!"
"BUT I DON'T HAVE A BUTT."
"Whatever! Just help me already!" I watched as the both of them struggled to lift it up.
"Uh, do you two need help?" No response, saved for some strained grunting from both of them. I rolled my eye sockets and walked over to the sign. I placed my hand on the steel colored rod and tugged upwards. It didn't even budge. "What the?" Pulling harder, my other hand joined my first. Nothing happened. "WHAT?! I WAS ABLE TO CARRY IT BEFORE!" I gave up on trying to get it off the ground and opted to try and at least push it, putting all of my body weight into it. I felt my feet slide slowly and took a new step each time in order to get back to the position I first set it in. "IS THIS THING FREAKING GLUED TO THE FLOOR?!"
I was determined to move the stop sign, and I haven't tried picking it up with my mouth yet. So I did that. I know. I'm smart. Not. I opened my mouth, and for the first time thus far, I slide my fangs out their slots, latched my jaws to the steel rod, and yanked upwards. Good news, I was able to pick it up, and I also forgot to put on clothes after I went into titan mode ( that's another joke that's too early to make. Did anime even exist in the 1920's?). Bad news, I was now tall enough for my now misshapen head to almost brush the ceiling, and I no longer had opposable thumbs.
"HEY! Look Papyrus it happened again!"
'Oh. Joy.'
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I really don't know how the "battle" will look like on the website, so it might seem a bit weird. That being said, most, if not all future chapters are going to be oneshots. I might make a sequel, this time during post-pacifist. Again, still no update schedule. Thanks again for reading through it. I know I have a tendency to rush, as well repeat words. Ah well, Sayonara for now!