Disclaimer—I don't own or make claim to the characters from The Walking Dead. I only own my original characters. Trigger warnings for this chapter-mentions of attempted rape.

In the church I head to the front as others take their seats. I look at everyone, at a loss of where to start.

Carol notices and asks, "When did you first meet Negan?"

"It was after we'd been at the farming outpost a few months. I mentioned before that we were just resting and gathering our strength to try for home again. The food was abundant and we had all we needed-more than we needed. I suppose amongst the workers there, we were fairly anonymous. Until we decided to start putting aside food. I learned about canning growing up, my Mom always had a huge garden. Dave went out and found some canning supplies and I asked Jane if I could use the kitchen. We didn't take any more than we had been-we just didn't eat all of it anymore. I began canning food so we could stock up for our trip. That was a mistake."

"What happened?" Maggie asked.

"We'd had visitors before, ones who came to pick up the food. But I guess it was time for Negan to come inspect the place. One of his more hardened lieutenants showed up before him to make sure everything was set for Negan's visit. He found us in the kitchen canning and accused us of stealing food. Jane tried to tell him that we were just canning our own rations, but it didn't matter. Soon he had Dave, the kids and I all lined out on our knees on the floor. It seemed he was going to execute us."

I hear Rachel gasp in shock. I continue, "But that wasn't unusual at the other outposts or the main base, from what I learned later. We'd had a privileged life at the farming outpost. Maybe because they were so happy we grew food? Right before he was going to kill us, Negan strolled in. He put a stop to it."

"Wait, he saved you?" Rick asked. "I thought you said he was a killer."

"Well, he is," I replied. "But he kills strategically I guess you could say. Usually. He weighs his options and takes out the people he doesn't see a return on investment in. In me, he saw an investment and was smart enough to recognize that if any of my family was killed I'd refuse to cooperate."

Carol says, "He wanted to you can food for him."

I nod. "He did. Before we knew it, we were in our van in a caravan back to the main base. The Sanctuary-that's what they call their base-used to be some kind of a factory. He felt it would be a better place to set up a canning operation. I tried to convince him that canning is best when fresh from the garden and should be done at the farming outpost, but he wasn't buying it. I think he knew he didn't have enough men there to keep us there and we'd manage to get away. So...we moved to the Sanctuary and I started up a canning operation. He gave me all the workers I wanted and basically anything else we needed. We had all the points we could ever desire to obtain anything. He even guaranteed me and my family safety-that no one would ever raise a hand against us. He gave me his word, which surprisingly he does honor. Honestly, we didn't have to work as hard as when we were scavenging to stay alive. But, we didn't have our freedom and I was worried about the kids. I knew it was only a matter of time before something would happen, and I was right."

"What happened?" Glenn asked.

"That same hardened lieutenant who wanted to kill us before. He was mad he was overruled and he kept watch over us like a hawk. He was determined to find something, anything to give him reason to take us out. He found me buying things for others with my points-which wasn't actually against the rules-and he caught me alone and beat me pretty badly for it."

"He beat you?!" Rick asks, seeming pretty upset.

I wave off his concern with my hand. "It was a black eye, some hurt ribs, that kind of thing. Nothing too serious. But I did take it up with Negan calling him out on his pretend protection and showed him just how much it was worth. That's when I learned he was serious. He took his trusted lieutenant and had him beaten and thrown in a cell for a week. I was amazed. But I should have been scared instead."

Carol asks, "You made an enemy?"

"Exactly," I reply. "The lieutenant was determined to get revenge. But he knew he had to be crafty about it, that he couldn't come after me directly. So he came up with a devious plan to go after my kids instead. Specifically Kayla." I take a deep breath to gather my thoughts. "He should have known better. We kept a close eye on our kids, even after the time we'd been there. We were well-liked by the workers there because we were fair. Working in my kitchen was a coveted job even though it was hard work. Some workers came to Dave and told him that they saw Kayla get grabbed. By the time we got there, he was attempting to rape her. Luckily he had knocked her around a bit, but hadn't…" I trail off with my hand to my mouth. I take another breath and continue. "We got there in time, but something snapped in Dave and he was punching the guy over and over. I don't blame him, had I not had Kayla in my arms I probably would have joined in but...he should have known better. Right then Negan walked in. From his point of view he saw Dave trying to kill his lieutenant for no reason. He waded into the fray and…" I close my eyes. "He killed Dave with that damn bat to save that ass of a lieutenants life."

The entire church was silent at that point. Most stared at me in disbelief.

"When it was over he dared to walk over to me and tell me he didn't have a choice, that Dave had brought it on himself. That's when I let him have it. He heard the whole story of how his lieutenant tried to rape my daughter and how Dave was protecting her, protecting his family. Negan has very specific feelings about rape. He won't tolerate it. He'll bash people's head's in, but his people know they'll die if they ever attempt rape. I told him that his promise to protect my family was worthless. That even given his views on rape, my daughter almost fell victim to it while under his protection-by one of his own most trusted men. Then, when her father took steps to protect her, Negan took the rapists side. I told him my family wasn't safe there, with him, and that we'd be better off outside with the walkers. I should have known better than to scream at him and lay it out for him that way, but that actually bought the kids and I our freedom."

"How so?" asked Daryl.

"After he beat his lieutenant to death in his frustration that attempted rape was involved, he came to me. He had spoken to everyone around, all the witnesses, and verified what happened. He told me I was right and that he owed me a debt for failing to keep his promise to keep my daughter safe. For killing my husband without understanding what was actually happening. He told me that if I truly believed we were better off out there with the walkers, that he wouldn't stop me, that we could go. He even gave us a week's supplies first."

I look out to see nothing but stunned faces staring back at me.

I continue. "That's why I have to get my family out of here before he finds you. He'll think I led you to that outpost for revenge. You all should get out too. He'll kill some of you right off for this and the rest of you will wish you were dead, working for him."

I leave them sitting there dazed by my story. I walk out of the church and head back home to retrieve my kids and leave Alexandria.

I'm near home when I hear someone running up behind me. I cringe, can't they just leave me alone and let me leave in peace? I'm already broken knowing that the home I thought I could give my kids is slipping from my grasp, just like every other time. I turn and look. It's Michonne and Daryl. Huh. I'm surprised it isn't Rick to be honest, he generally doesn't hold back his opinions or give me space.

They reach me and Michonne says, "I'm very sorry about your husband. I understand why you want to leave. I do. But we left no trace, Negan isn't coming anytime soon. He doesn't know where we are. Could you please stay long enough to give us some information on him? His base, his outposts. Where they are located? Anything you could remember about setups and numbers would help us. If he is truly what you say he is, we need to get ready to protect Alexandria and bring this coming war to him." I look at her in disbelief.

"So you want me to actually give you the information he'd kill me for giving?" I ask with shock in my voice.

Daryl speaks up. "If he's gonna think ya did it anyway, ya may as well be thorough. Join us. Help us win this war."

I arrive at the steps leading up to my home. Michonne says, "I haven't had a lot of time to get to know you and I regret that. I've seen how close you've gotten to some members of the community very quickly though. Rachel, Olivia, Carl, Judith...Rick." I look at her in shock at Rick's name. She's really going to go there? I respond, "Rick doesn't trust me. He makes me uncomfortable and is an additional reason I need to leave."

She starts backpedaling. "If you stay, he'd have to be involved in the discussions, the transfer of information. But he'll keep his distance if that's what you want."

I just stare at her. She continues, "But everyone in this community needs your help in order for us to stay alive. Carl & Judith especially."

Ugh. She's going to lay that guilt on me. I suppose staying a couple days to give them some intel wouldn't hurt. As long as we're gone before Negan gets here we should be OK and it might give them a chance. I look back at them. "Let me talk to my kids and get their input. I'll let you know."

Michonne responds, "That's all we ask, that you think it through and help us have a chance." I nod and head up the stairs to review their request with my family.

A/N I know, this chapter is a bit heavier than the others. Had to be done to get her backstory in there and explain how her husband was killed and how she knows how Negan will react to their assault on the satellite outpost. They really should have asked her opinion before they attacked, shouldn't they? She has intel they could really use. Do you think she'll actually leave?

If you liked this chapter please consider favoriting and I would love some reviews!