Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto
Lesson Ten
Shadows Cannot Exist Without a Source of Light
x
Naruto gasped as if he was a man trying not to drown. He sat up in bed with rolls of sweat dripping down his body. His heart was racing like a bolt of lightning. His head was ringing and there was a pulsing pain behind his eyes.
He looked at his clock.
Three hours.
That was how much sleep he managed to steal away from the nightmares. Every time he closed his eyes he saw his friends lying in corpses all around him, their flesh ripped and torn apart by an animal, with the taste of their flesh in his mouth.
Naruto collapsed backwards as his stomachs did flips. It was nice to have a break from the Kyuubi's incessant homicidal voice, but he couldn't escape the Kyuubi's projection of images into his mind or the worsening nightmares. Naruto laid in bed and wondered when he had gone from dreams of becoming the Hokage and finding world peace, to just trying to find a reason to get out of bed in the morning.
A curious smell drifted into his room and Naruto sniffed the air. He smelled breakfast. He would have been more alarmed if he didn't also smell Sakura's overwhelming cherry blossom perfume masking her natural scent. Naruto reluctantly pulled himself out of bed and peered around the corner of his bedroom door.
Sakura had her hair pinned up, humming a song as water boiled atop the oven.
"Sakura?" Naruto questioned.
Sakura looked over her shoulder with a smile. "Breakfast is almost ready."
Naruto trudged through the obstacle zone that was the mess of his apartment and collapsed into the kitchen chair. He leaned over a bit as one of the chair legs was loose.
"Coffee?" Sakura asked.
Naruto scrunched his noise. "That stuff is disgusting."
Sakura huffed, "No it's not. You've just got to find the right mix just for you." Sakura made two cups of coffee anyways. Looked over at Naruto with the apparent rings around his eyes and thoughtfully added more mixture of cream and sugar than the actual coffee. "Try that?"
Naruto stared at the light brown drink. He put the mug to his lips and the bitter taste enveloped his mouth. With a frown, "More sugar."
"The whole thing is going to be just sugar," Sakura sighed as she added more sugar into his mug.
Naruto tasted it again. It was just bitter and sweet enough to mask the lingering taste in his mouth. Perhaps he could get use to coffee after all. Naruto watched Sakura as she walked through the kitchen, knowing she had work today. Then he realized what was going on, "Granny sent you here didn't she?"
Sakura noticed Naruto's bitter expression. "She's just worried about you. She said you kind of went off the deep-end yesterday."
"I'm fine," Naruto grumbled.
"You are obviously not," Sakura responded as she finished breakfast and placed it on the kitchen table. Boiled fish, miso soup, and white rice was spread across the table. Breakfast was the least Sakura could do considering Naruto gave Tsunade an excuse to give Sakura the morning shift off. "She told me you left through the front door."
"So," Naruto grumbled, "Normal people use the door."
"Not you," Sakura pointed out. She sat down and began eating after an exclamation of, 'Itadakimasu.' Sakura paused and noticed Naruto hadn't moved at all. She leaned her cheek against her hand thoughtfully, and then asked, "Bad mission?"
Sakura could see she hit the target when Naruto's shoulders slumped.
"It happens to everyone. We all have those bad days," Sakura said as she enjoyed the fish.
"How would you know," Naruto grumbled, "You just work in the hospital, you're not out there."
Sakura shoved the table back until it collided with Naruto's chest. He wheezed until he finally managed to scoot back in his chair. "I might not be taking open missions anymore but I'm the one who has to patch everyone up after they come from the field. I know what it's like. I see it every day."
Sakura pointed her chopsticks like the end of a deadly senbon needle. When Naruto flinched she smiled smugly and sat back against her chair. "When I first starting working I had such a hard time adjusting, especially once I became head medic of Konoha's hospital. I had to realize that some patients took precedence over others because of who they are. Ninja families come before civilian families and sometimes that meant someone had to die. That little fairytale world I had been living was just a desperate grip on innocence before I was forced to become an adult. I know, Naruto. I know," Sakura said softly as she put her deadly chopsticks back down.
Sakura ran the tips of her fingers through her hair. Naruto drummed his fingers around the coffee mug. "Well then what do you do," Naruto took a deep breath. "when, when-" In frustration he began to wave his arms through the air.
"There's no more fairytale and realize this world is just one big fuck up?" Sakura chuckled as she leaned back in her chair. "Get drunk, or at least that was Ino's solution. I prefer coffee." Sakura smiled when she placed the rim to her mouth as she reminisced. "That night was crazy. It was my first real hangover."
Naruto scrunched his nose and questioned, "Why haven't I ever heard any of this?"
Sakura looked softly into her pitch black coffee. "I didn't want to bother you about it. After the war you were already tired enough. Besides, you just basically inherited the protection of an entire village on your shoulders. I didn't want to be selfish."
"Sakura I would have-"
"Done what Naruto? Tell me you were going to become Hokage and fix everything? You were going to make a promise that things were going to be okay, find peace as if it was some lost sock, ensure everyone will live happily and no one will ever have to die on my operating table again?" Sakura nodded her head. It had taken her a long time to come to terms with it but, "people die. That's what we do."
"I would not have-" Naruto paused. "Maybe sort of-," He looked at Sakura's raised eyebrows, "Fine. I can't- I can't fix everything…" An image of all those starving people came to mind. "I know that now," He added bitterly.
"It doesn't mean you have to give up though," Sakura said as she unceremoniously stuffed breakfast into her mouth. "I know that one day it might be you on that operating table."
"I'll be fine," Naruto shrugged.
"No, Naruto you won't. You aren't invincible. You might have a demon inside of you but you are made of flesh and bone like the rest of us. One day, it might be you and I am not going mope around knowing that I can make a difference between the life and death of my friends." Sakura paused to watch as Naruto dejectedly scrambled his food around.
"You better eat that." Sakura warned. "I made it for you."
Under Sakura's 'I'm going to hit you if you don't do what I say' stare, Naruto shoved the food into his mouth. It tasted bland but Naruto managed to swallow. Even Sakura noticed his difficulty. She knew Naruto had never had a hard time eating.
"You know, the Hokage has me working on a pill of sorts to help alleviate the headaches of the Hyuuga branch members."
Naruto stubbornly stared at his plate. Pills did not solve the problem.
"Naruto, what I'm trying to say is that you don't have to give up on your dream of being Hokage. You might not be able to save the world but you can still do some good," Sakura responded persistently.
"You're wrong," Naruto said softly. "You and I are different. Sakura, you save lives. I kill them."
"Have you not been listening to me?" Sakura asked in frustration, "People die. That's the way the world works."
Naruto pouted. Sakura could tell Naruto was refusing to listen. She looked at the time on the wall clock. She was going to be late for work. She was going to have to try and talk some sense into him later.
With a sigh she hurriedly dug in her purse for the list of items she had been meaning to pick up but never found the time. She slammed the piece of paper, along with her house keys, down on the table. "I have to go to work, but since you are obviously off-duty pick up these things for me, drop them off at my apartment and give me my keys back at the hospital later."
"Sakura," Naruto complained. All he wanted to do was lie in bed and count the number of crevices in his ceiling.
"No, Naruto. I know you. I will not let you wallow in your apartment like a frightened little boy afraid to go outside."
Sakura looked at her watch and stood up from the table, swinging her purse over her shoulder, "Get them for me? I never have the time anymore."
Naruto grumbled as he stared at the list.
"Good," Sakura walked to the door. She stopped, right as she was about to close the front door. She sighed at the image of Naruto hunched over his meal without the usual gusto. "Remember Naruto, we work to live, not live to work."
Naruto put the bag of herbs Sakura requested from the Nara's estate into his jumpsuit pocket. Few people were out on the road today, either at work or in school. Naruto dragged his feet and a trail of dust followed after him as he walked the outskirts of Konoha.
He felt empty, as if he had lost something that had filled an important hole in his life. He wondered if everyone felt like this when they lost their dreams.
A chill came over him as he passed a crossroads in the street. He paused and stared down that desolate long winding road, a road Naruto had promised himself he would never walk again. Naruto took a step back in fear. He didn't need to hear the Kyuubi to know what it would have said. He was a ninja, an elite of ANBU. He shouldn't be afraid of a crossroads.
Naruto rubbed the sweat from his hands against his pants. He didn't know what he was trying to prove or what compelled him forward, but Naruto took the road few have traveled.
At the road's end was the haughty laughter and cruel words of children. A massive house loomed above him, bent from the weight of dirt, broken windows, flickering light fixtures, and missing shambles.
"Here to abandon a child?"
Naruto jumped at the taunt voice. He turned and found an older woman in her thirties hanging clothes on the line to dry.
"Um, no." Naruto answered awkwardly.
The woman raised an eyebrow and asked in disbelief. "You're here to adopt?"
"I… um…"
"You seem a little young but I'm not complaining. I'm glad someone can get at least one of these monsters off my hands."
"Monsters?" Naruto said in alarm.
"You obviously have not been around children much," She pulled Naruto by his jacket's sleeve and dragged him into the orphanage where a small office room was set up, just like he remembered, little used and all. Naruto was pushed into a chair and the woman bent behind her desk in search of files, "What type do you want? Younger or older? Normal or one of those chakra demons?"
"Chakra demons?" Naruto asked, feeling fainter the longer he was here.
The woman sighed in exasperation. "Ninja children." She pulled up the folders and spread them across the table, "I just need your papers and we'll be all ready to sort this out."
"What papers?"
The woman looked up from the glasses she wore and gave him a terse expression, "the papers you fill out at the Hokage's tower to prove you're eligible. It's fine, you can get them later. We can get started on the process here." The woman pulled out a crinkled and old paper that had been shoved into the recesses of her desk. "Name?"
"I…um," When Naruto had stepped onto that beaten path, the last place he expected to find himself was sitting in a chair about to adopt a child. It was never something that had occurred to him. But somehow Naruto found himself leaning over the desk in eagerness. "Naruto Uzumaki."
He was going to take one of those children home with him right now, save them from this nightmare of an orphanage, and they'll never ever be alone again. That black abyss in Naruto's heart, that warped sense of hero-complex, simply yearned to be needed and wanted.
"That name sounds familiar," the woman tapped her chin as she recorded his name with a brush stroke. Naruto tapped his hand against his knee nervously. 'What if she remembered him?'
"How many do you want? Please take more than one. The orphanage has hardly enough room with all the newest additions."
"What do you mean?" Naruto asked.
"The usual that comes with war. Families who would rather give their children away than let them starve or orphans from people caught in the crossfires of a battle. Not to mention the victory celebrations caused a lot of unwanted pregnancies, both forced and consented. At least it wasn't like the previous wars where nations had been at war with each other. Still, we're pretty packed here."
"I see," Naruto said softly.
"So how many do… oh Uzumaki? We had a…" Her head snapped up and her eyes narrowed on the scars of his cheeks. "Oh god, don't hurt me!" She screamed as she scrambled backwards and began throwing items atop the desk at him.
"Wait, I'm not here to-" He lifted his head from his arms when the barrage had stopped and found the woman fainted in the chair. He combed a shaky hand through his hair. He looked around the empty room, then two pairs of feet suddenly rushed passed him, and giggling disappeared down the hall.
Naruto really didn't know why he was here.
He wandered the halls of painful memories. Even after all these years, he knew exactly where everything was. He noted the hand-me-downs and donated clothing the children wore as they paid him no heed in their fun. Their bedrooms were overfilled with children, some even lying on the floor for an afternoon nap. Naruto stopped and looked at a closet door.
It was just a normal closet and easy to miss in the dim-lit hallway. A small sniffle suddenly came from behind the door, as if a small child was crying.
Naruto heart tore from his chest as violently as he tore the door from the wall. He searched the darkness, a darkness deeper than any street corner or homeless night, but it was empty. Naruto dropped the door and it landed with a thud in the hall. His hands were shaking as he leaned against the wall. Coming here had been a bad idea.
He had to get out.
Naruto raced through the orphanage, flinching at the sight of his blood staining into the floor boards. He had done nothing wrong but they insisted his existence was a sin and punished him accordingly, every day. He kicked a bowl in his frantic pace to find the exit. The bowl was empty, like the many he had held in his hands hoping that today they would be kind enough to feed him. The walls were closing in on him, trapping him, as if angry he had escaped.
He burst through a door and found himself tumbling over his own feet into the grass. He nearly cried to feel the soft brush of freedom underneath his face. His clothes were drenched in sweat.
Naruto grabbed a wooden post and used it to support him to his feet. He acutely felt the fear that had been hidden away in his subconscious. He leaned against the post and watched as children ran underfoot and played on old playground equipment. They taunted and fought each other. They laughed and cried with each other.
Naruto noticed two children in particular who sat far apart for the rest of the crowd. He immediately saw why. The oldest had red swirling eyes, similar to the Yuuhi clan, which outwardly marked her as different. At her side, sat a boy tucked into her shoulder with patterned scars that marked his body.
Naruto slowly walked over to them and sat down. The girl quickly shot him a distrustful glance. She looked to be about only seven years old. "What do you want?" She snapped, "If you want to get to Ichigo you'll have to get through me first," she threatened. The little boy at her side peeked over, sucking his thumb.
"I just thought you would like to use some company" Naruto shrugged.
The girl narrowed her eyes. "Who are you? You don't work here. If you're here to recruit me like you've done with the older children then no, I need to stay and protect Ichigo."
"Recruit?" Naruto asked curiously. "I'm just visiting." He looked out at the children running in the courtyard, playing tag with one another, and drawing pictures on the building walls. Naruto rested his head backward on the wooden picket fence. "I… I used to live here."
The girl frowned, "Why would you ever want to come back?"
"I didn't mean to," Naruto whispered.
The girl glanced at Naruto up and down. "They must have hated you," she commented, "With that face deformity and all. If you look different they hate you."
Naruto knew that all too well. "Do they treat you badly?"
"Typically the ninja children who look normal have a tendency to run things around here. If you look different, you're especially a target because they hate what they are and take it out on you," She said with the bushy red hair that framed her tanned skintone.
"But none of the staff hurt you?" Naruto asked.
"They try to make us behave from time to time but it never works," the young girl shrugged her shoulders, "They tend to avoid us."
Naruto nodded. He didn't know what he would have done if these children were mistreated by the staff the same way he had been. Little did Konoha know a disaster on the scale of Pein's invasion had just been averted. "You mentioned something about recruiting. What did you mean?"
"People come here to try to recruit in secret but we all know they're just pimps and gangs. But sometimes," the young girl dug her hands into the dirt, "anything is better than here. They make you feel like you're wanted… I'll- we'll do anything to feel as if we belong somewhere."
Like become Hokage.
"Yeah," Naruto whispered, "I know the feeling." He turned to the children thoughtfully and watched the red hair's face as she longingly looked at the children at play. "Let's do something." Naruto declared, "I have plenty of free time. Anything you want."
"You want to do something with us?" the young girl asked in surprise. Naruto nodded. "Anything?
"Anything."
The young girl blushed, "Do you know how to jump rope?"
Naruto gave a quizzical expression. "I'm not really sure what that is but I'll try?"
The girl jumped up with a squeal and ran toward a bush that poked out against the wooden fence.
"Ame," Ichigo whined softly when he was left alone. Ame stuck her hand inside the thorn bush and pulled out a long rope with handles. She shoved Naruto and Ichigo into position and gave them separate ends.
"You just have to rotate it, simple." She said breathlessly and stood at the center of it. "Go."
Naruto tried per her instructions but he either went too fast or too slow for Ichigo. The rope awkwardly limped through the air. The young girl stomped over frustrated and pushed Naruto in the middle, "I'll show you. All you have to do is jump over the rope."
Naruto was a ninja. This couldn't be too hard.
"Earth, Wind, Water, Lightning and Flame
Tell me the initials of your boyfriend's name."
"What are you singing?"
"You can't jump rope without a jump rope song," Ame explained. She began and the rope immediately twisted around Naruto's feet.
"Wait wait, let me try again. The song distracted me," Naruto said determined as he attempted to try again.
Even though Naruto hardly got any sleep, he had never felt so alive as he played with Ame and Ichigo. Then the bells in the orphanage began to ring, alerting all of the children on the premises that it was lunch time.
"You'll come back?" Ame asked shyly. Ichigo was more forthright as he nodded his head vigorously with his thumb still in his mouth.
"Of course," Naruto grinned. He looked at the two children who stared up at him as if they were the only three people in the world. He felt needed and he felt wanted. Naruto didn't hesitate to make a decision. Naruto went down on one knee and promised, "Someday, I don't know when, I'm going to adopt you and Ichigo."
Ame sucked in a breath and then she collapsed in tears against his shirt. "I- I- Thank you, thank you, thank you."
Naruto hugged her gently. He felt so big compared to her tiny frame. He had to protect them. "It might take me a while though. There are some things I need to sort out with Granny Tsunade first and I'm going the need to save some money." Naruto was not going to have two little children in his rundown apartment in the middle of the worst part of Konoha. If he was going to do this he was going to have to move. "But I'll come for you, I promise."
He couldn't stop Ame from crying.
When he was finally able to pry her loose so she could eat lunch, she stole furtive glances behind her to make sure he wouldn't disappear as if it was all a dream. Ichigo actually took his thumb from his mouth and waved goodbye.
Naruto watched as they disappeared into the orphanage. He leaped over the railing with a purpose. Naruto walked down the dusty road with his hands behind his head, and a smile.
Naruto entered the Yamanaka's flower shop. Flowers of all colors and size surrounded him as he made his way to the counter. Naruto found Ino arranging a bouquet of flowers, singing a song loudly to herself as her hair swayed behind her. She wore an apron imprinted with a field and touched the petals of the bouquet with soft grace. Looking at her like this, you would never know how deadly she was really was.
"Ino?"
Ino turned with a smirk. "Naruto, I didn't think I'd ever see you here." A hand on her hip, she leaned forward conspiratorially, "Buying flowers for someone?"
"I was actually picking something up for Sakura."
"That's right," Ino cursed under her breath, "I keep forgetting to bring it home," she shuffled underneath the counter and brought up a small vial of yellow liquid.
"What is this?" Naruto asked confused.
"Nectar she needs for one of her experiments."
Naruto nodded and grabbed the vile. He turned and his eyes caught sight of a lavender flower.
He turned back around, "On second thought I do want to get someone flowers."
Ino nearly toppled over her counter in curiosity. "Really? Who is she?"
"Just a friend," Naruto assured her as he stepped back to escape Ino's scrutinizing glance.
"Right," Ino smirked.
"But I don't exactly have any money."
"We just got paid," Ino said incredulously.
"I know, it's a long story. I owe you?" Naruto suggested.
Ino sighed as she placed her hands on her hips. "I'll give it to you for free but only because Shikamaru told me how concerned you were when I had to deal with that pig. Not many people would incite a civil war over little old me," Ino teased. "Is there anything you want the flowers to say in particular?"
"Not really," Naruto scratched his head as he looked around the store.
Ino sighed, "Then just go pick something."
Naruto walked around the store and picked up the lavender he saw first. Then his eyes caught another flower and then another. He was zipping around the store grabbing flowers until he figured he had enough. He brought the assortment to Ino. "This is what I want."
Ino couldn't help but to smile at his choices. There was one lone lavender flower in the middle but it was overwhelmingly overpowered by the many bright colors that surrounded it. She didn't need to interpret each and every flower to get the general idea: "Happiness."
Naruto held his bouquet of flowers with pride. Now all he had to do was figure out a way to successfully infiltrate the Hyuuga compound.
Hinata dutifully served the cups of tea to the elders. It pained her to watch as they instructed Hanabi on which documents to sign or not to sign. Hanabi should be outside playing like a normal teenager but the only time Hanabi was out from under the elder's thumb was training and missions with her genin team.
Hinata stood next to the other branch family and stood as still as a porcelain doll until she was called upon. She didn't understand how those who were not ninja endured this life, always called back and forth between chores, on your feet all day long, and hands aching.
Neji stood on the dais as a dedicated bodyguard. All in the family knew the position was nothing but a leash the elders held to watch him.
Hinata couldn't look Neji in the face anymore for fear of the failure she would see in them. Neji didn't fail her. She did.
After the ceremony and pomp was over, Hinata sighed in relief. The chores and constant attendance of the main family members were more bearable than watching Hanabi literally burdened by ceremonial robes. Hinata shuffled towards the bathroom before making dinner preparations. She crossed the gardens, all the way to the other side of the property where the branch family lived, where they even used the restroom separately from the main. She entered the branch quarters and immediately noticed her relatives giving her giggling looks.
"What's going on?" Hinata stopped one of her younger cousins. The younger girl stopped and bowed immediately. Hinata didn't need to be a main branch member to earn their respect. Respect simply had to be given in turn.
The younger cousin smiled brightly, "Someone left you a present in front of the branch quarters."
"Present? Who?"
"Don't know."
"Didn't anyone see the person?" Hinata asked nervously.
"They say it was just a blur, moving too fast to get a read on the chakra signal. Go see it. It's beautiful. They put it on your bed."
Hinata gave her younger cousin a blank stare before walking faster to the bedroom she shared with an aunt and two of her cousins. Almost all the branch family were spying on the ex-hyuuga heiress as she peeked around the corner of their room. They were all wondering at the identity of Hinata's secret admirer and made guesses of almost every male member of the Hyuuga branch household.
Hinata stared speechless at the bouquet of flowers that had been delivered to her bed. They were bright and lit the dim bedroom sparse of furniture or any other decoration. Hinata considered the possibility of them being from Kiba as an apology for setting up the whole Naruto fiasco.
Even as the seal began to burn on her forehead, for the first time since her father died Hinata Hyuuga genuinely smiled.
Naruto entered the hospital. After returning Sakura's keys to her he went to visit Tomu. He went by Tomu's medical room and found it empty. Naruto scratched his head with a sigh. Then he decided to go by Tomu's mother's room to see if he had went there. But when he walked inside, the room was as empty as the first.
Naruto stopped a nurse in confusion, "What happened to the lady in the room over there?"
"Oh," the nurse stopped, "she passed away last night."
Naruto cursed and then raced from the hospital.
"Daijiro, have you seen Tomu?" Naruto asked as he placed a coupon into the open guitar case.
Daijiro didn't stop his strumming at Konoha's lone street corner. He leaned over the guitar case, "A coupon?"
"A ramen coupon," Naruto corrected, "Sorry, it's all I've got."
Daijiro shook his head and his fingers strummed the chords with finesse and delicate fingers. His voice and his fingers kept him alive. "It'll do I guess. It's getting harder out here and more dangerous. Maybe Tomu was caught up in that."
"What do you mean? People are bothering you again?" Naruto asked. He would never understand why some civilians considered a singing and homeless minstrel a loiterer.
"No, the gangs have gotten more violent. After Yatou's gang was wiped out all the little gangs have been killing each other to claim turf. A lot are dying in the crossfires."
Naruto tried to hide his expression of regret. If he knew there would have been such dire consequences maybe he could have restrained himself to kill just Yatou. "Stay safe, if you need anything just let me know."
Daijiro laughed, "I want a palace that compares to the Daimyo's and a fat man to fan me when it gets hot."
"Maybe not anything," Naruto laughed.
"Don't laugh," Daijiro replied and sang, 'All a poor man's got is his dreams.' The lingering chord echoed through the streets. "If I see Tomu I'll let you know."
"Thanks."
"Sticky, have you seen Tomu?" Naruto asked, his voice growing more frantic as the hours passed and the search remain inconclusive.
"Pick a cup, any cup." Sticky replied with a sly grin as he shifted three cups on top of a cardboard box, "and no funny ninja business."
"You can't swindle someone who has no money," Naruto said matter-of-factly.
"But they can get in debt." Sticky raised his eyebrows with a laugh. "No, I haven't seen Tomu. Last I heard he was in the hospital. I heard that Yatou gang beat him up." He leaned forward, "I think their ghosts came back to kill him."
"Well then have you seen any ghosts around?"
Sticky scratched the back of his ear, "Not any lately," he replied stubbornly.
Naruto smiled. "Thanks." He turned to leave but stopped and patted down the pocket of his jacket. He looked at Sticky, "Wallet?"
"You're right. You are broke." Sticky somehow pulled the wallet from behind his ear and tossed it back towards Naruto. "You're no better off than the rest of us."
"Maiko, Akishi, have you seen Tomu?"
Maiko leaned against a run-down store. Night had fallen during Naruto's fruitless search. A chill wind began to creep through, reminding everyone of winter fast approaching.
"Haven't seen the runt," Maiko answered with indifference. As far as Naruto was concerned she deserved to hate him. Underneath the brand new coat she wore, he could see the scars he had made along her neck.
"Didn't know you did so young, sweet cheeks," Akishi said as she lit up a cigarette. Akishi was only a year younger than Naruto. In the pale light of the lamps that lit the street Naruto could see bruises running down the left side of her face.
"What happened?" Naruto asked.
Akishi twirled the cigarette around in her fingers, "Just another client."
Maiko stared at Naruto as she said, "Some like it rough."
Naruto felt ill, "I'm not like that. I didn't mean to."
Maiko shrugged. Then a man neared them and turned to Naruto. "How much for one?"
"He's not our pimp," Akishi immediately replied, "I'll take you." And the two began to discuss rates as if he was borrowing an item from a store.
"Wait," Naruto growled angrily as Akishi took the man into the alleyway. Maiko grabbed Naruto's jacket sleeve. "Let me go," Naruto snapped, "I have to-"
"Have to what Naruto?"
"Stop them," Naruto mumbled. "It's not right. You shouldn't have to-"
Maiko interrupted him with a roll of her eyes and, "Don't you dare go taking the moral high ground on us. What are you exactly? Your pimp in that big tower tells you what to do and who to service, you never question and do exactly as your told. Then you get paid for it afterwards." Maiko shook her head, "You ninja open your souls as much as we open our legs. We're both whores so where do you get off saying our way is wrong?"
Naruto punched a hole in the wall and his sensitive ears caught a hold of sounds coming from the alleyway that he really didn't want to hear.
"I refuse to work for a pimp or in the brothels. I like to choose my clients, even if I do get hurt sometimes and cheated out of my money. But at least my body is my own to do with what I will. Can you say the same? What are a few bruises compared to a ninja who can barely escape a job with his life?"
"I guess," Naruto said weakly as the sounds of sex ringed in his ears. Then an image of all the faces he had killed in the recent month flashed before his eyes. "I guess not much at all."
Maiko looked at the man across the street walking towards her. "By the way, thanks for the new coat."
Naruto walked into the strip club. A flush of embarrassment crossed his face as naked women danced atop poles and gave patrons lap dances. Both ninjas and civilians crowded the place, both looking for escape. Naruto kept his head down and shoved past the throng of people until he made it to a discreet door at the back.
He opened the door and walked into one of Konoha's most notorious drug dens. He wanted to get out of here quickly. His sensitive nose was already letting the atmosphere get to his head. Naruto spotted the dealer, ringed by men with the tattoo imprints of the dragon gang.
"Genkei," Naruto called. Genkei looked up from his poker game as he took puffs from an opium pipe. Genkei raised an eyebrow and smiled as he sat back, "The Great Uzumaki Naruto, what brings you here to my place of business?"
"Have you seen Tomu? He's a black haired kid, twelve, and works for you from time to time."
Genkei sighed, "There are plenty of kids working for me."
Naruto had hoped asking nicely would have worked but he knew coming in these men did nothing for free. In the blink of an eye, the poker chips were scattered on the floor, and Naruto had a kunai to Genkei's neck. The dragon tattooed bodyguards scrambled to get out their weapons. Naruto leaned down and whispered in Genkei's ear. "Answer my question or I'll be happy to show you what happened to Yatou and his men."
Genkei audibly gulped. He had some of the best underground ninja working for him but even he knew that they would shit their pants if he ordered them to go after Naruto Uzumaki. He had known Naruto when Naruto had been just a runt living on the streets looking for anyone to give him the time of day. Not even the dealers wanted him.
"I haven't seen the kid," Genkei admitted. "I thought he was dead. It's not like people don't disappear all the time."
The kunai disappeared as quickly as it appeared. "Thanks."
Naruto turned to leave but caught sight of a kid about to bend over and sniff the trail of white powder on the table. Naruto grabbed the boy by the back of his shirt and dragged him out of the den and finally out of the strip club where Naruto threw the teenager to the ground.
"Is that what you've been doing when you drop Kimi off at my house?" Naruto asked angrily. "Where is she, Katsuo? Who's looking after her?"
"A friend," Katsuo coughed as he picked himself up. "Who do you think you are?" The sixteen year old argued. "You can't tell me what to do."
Naruto crossed his arms. "I know you've been working with a weapon's dealer but where does the money go? Are you taking care of her or are you taking care of yourself?"
Katsuo's eyes were red and Naruto did not miss the needle pricks on the inside of his arm. "How dare you," Katsuo spat. "She's my sister and it's none of your business. Stay out of it. Not having a family of your one doesn't mean you should go meddling in everyone else's." Katsuo spat.
He swung a punch and Naruto caught it easily. Katsuo scowled in frustration as he tried to pull his hand from Naruto's grip.
"I never asked for your help. Let me go."
"I'm just trying to make sure you're alright."
Katsuo laughed cruelly. "Nothing is alright. Everything is fucked up and nothing in this world makes sense but the high. It's the only thing that ever makes sense."
"Maybe it not supposed to make sense," Naruto replied and released his hand. "But we can't let that beat us. You're stronger than that, Katsuo."
Katsuo shook his head as he neared the entrance of the club. "No, I'm not," and he disappeared inside.
Naruto rubbed his face with his eyes, tired, so very tired. Naruto couldn't help to wonder if even he was stronger than this cruel world.
By the time midnight descended on Konoha, Naruto was dragging himself back home. He hadn't found one trace of Tomu and he was going back to his apartment to pack a few bags just in case he had to spend some days in Konoha's countryside looking for him.
Naruto pressed his key to the door but it opened with a creak. Naruto walked into the darkness of his apartment and turned on the lights. He finally found Tomu.
Naruto breathed a sigh of relief as Tomu picked up his head from the couch as Naruto came in. Naruto could see the grief carving wrinkles into the boy's face.
"Want some ramen?" Naruto asked. Tomu smiled weakly as he wiped tears from his eyes.
Naruto went to his kitchen and began boiling water. When it was finished, Naruto had to carry a protesting Tomu to the table to eat. "I know you probably haven't eaten all day," he replied and forced Tomu into his chair.
They sat in silence.
Naruto wanted to say something but didn't know how. He forged ahead anyways, "I wish I had something to say that would make you feel better."
"I don't want to feel better," Tomu grumbled.
"Yeah," Naruto said softly, "A friend I had told me that I'd never understand. He lost his parents too but since I never had any I couldn't help him."
"Your friend is a dick," Tomu said and Naruto coughed on his food. "Having had a mother is better than not having one at all," Tomu said softly. He stared down at the noodles as if they were the cause of all his pain and then looked up at Naruto suddenly. "Wait, how could you have never had any parents? You had to come from somewhere."
"Oh," Naruto said, "They died on the day I was born so I never really knew them at all. I sort of have an idea what they were like in my head," Naruto smirked at his own inside joke, "but that's all really."
"So you've been by yourself all of your life?"
Naruto wondered how the conversation turned on him but if it distracted Tomu's mind from his grief, Naruto was willing to go through some of his own. "No, not at all. I've had my teammates… then Sasuke left. There was the pervy sage… but he died. I have old man Ichiraku and Ayame. I also have lots of friends."
'And the Kyuubi,' Naruto admitted to himself begrudgingly. With the Kyuubi, he has never been alone.
"I never see any friends visiting except for that pink-haired lady," Tomu observed.
"They're really busy," Naruto defended. "I do have lots of friends."
Tomu nodded as he looked around the room. He knew in Naruto's bedroom there was a team picture face-down on the dresser. But besides from that, there were no pictures at all. Tomu wondered why he had never noticed before. "No, I mean like aunts and uncles or cousins?"
Naruto shook his head slowly. "No, none of that."
Tomu had an aunt in a neighboring rural village. He had a cousin who worked in the capital. He didn't have his mom anymore but he had family somewhere.
"Aren't you ever lonely?"
Naruto's empty denial was right on his tongue until he stared up at Tomu and remembered how it was always nice to come home to someone in the apartment.
"Do you want to stay?" Naruto asked suddenly. The desperation that leaked into the question was the closest answer to the truth.
"Stay what?"
"I mean stay here with me." Naruto grinned, excited. "I could get another bed and move some of your things."
Tomu almost cried in relief. He could not bring himself to say aloud the fact that he would rather stay with Naruto than to be given to an aunt he barely even knew. He had been afraid Naruto would say no. A smile tugged at Tomu's lips as he asked, "are we going to eat ramen for dinner every night?"
Naruto winced, "I guess not if you don't want to."
Tomu twirled his noodles. "But what am I going to do when you're gone?"
"I'll leave a shadow clone. It'll be as if I'm always here." Naruto suggested easily.
"No, I mean, what am I going to do when you die?"
"I'm not-"
"You're a ninja Naruto. Ninjas die."
Naruto didn't know how to respond to that. "I don't plan on going out anytime soon."
"Nothing ever goes to plan." Tomu stirred his noodles and softly muttered, "You could just stop being a ninja?"
Naruto paused, completely caught off-guard by the request. "How am I supposed to make money to pay for the bills and ramen?" Naruto questioned.
Tomu rolled his eyes. "Get a normal job."
"But I can't…" Naruto tried to think of himself as being anything other than a ninja. "What if some crazy ninja decides to take over the world again? And I'm the only one who can stop him?"
"That doesn't make any sense. There are plenty of other ninjas who can stop him."
"But I'm different Tomu. People rely on me to protect the village."
Tomu frowned. "Why? Why you?"
"Because…" 'I have a demon in my stomach and it's a weapon of mass-destruction.'
"Because?" Tomu raised an eyebrow. "Fine, go kill yourself." Tomu huffed and turned in the chair. His shoulders began to collapsed inwards and Naruto placed a hand on the kid's shoulder as Tomu tried not to cry.
"I know it's not fair," Naruto agreed, "Believe me I know, this world is not a pretty place. But you know," Naruto said softly, "None of that matters because right now we have each other."
The tears finally fell as Tomu collapsed in Naruto's chest. After three years of being responsible for his mother, of smuggling drugs in and out of Konoha for various gangs, he finally didn't feel so alone anymore.
Naruto never thought he could feel so content watching someone else sleep. He stayed up since his eyelids were afraid to close for very long. Restless, he turned to stare at the clock. The Hokage's tower was still open. Since he couldn't go to sleep he got out of bed and got dressed. Before he left he created a shadow clone. He knew Tomu could take care of himself but he didn't want the boy to spend the night alone or wake up wondering where he was.
Naruto jumped from the rooftops and made a clean entry into one of the open windows of the Hokage's Tower.
Tsunade looked up from her desk, just about ready to leave and head home. She watched as a blonde ninja stepped lightly into her office from the open window. He looked up at her and the first thing she noticed was his lack of sleep. She leaned back in her chair, hoping he had come to grovel at her feet and apologize. "Changed your mind?"
"Actually, no." Naruto replied as he shuffled his feet nervously.
Tsunade sighed. "Then you want to retire from ANBU?"
Naruto looked up confused, "Not that either. I actually kind of need the money."
"And you're planning to do what?" Tsunade knew Naruto well enough to know money was always a low priority on his mind.
"I'm planning on moving," Naruto said proudly.
"About time," Tsunade breathed in relief. She was also glad to see the bright grin that had been diminishing as of late make a return.
"Perhaps you should think about buying a plot of land," Tsunade suggested. "To invest in the future and help rebuild the prowess of the Uzumaki clan."
"Yeah, whatever," Naruto shrugged and finally asked, "Let's say a few years from now I might want to adopt a kid, what would I have to do?"
Tsunade raised an eyebrow. This was the last question she ever expected Naruto ask. "There's a fairly lenient criteria. You have to make a certain amount of money, no criminal record, that sort of thing. You won't be able to adopt until you retire from ANBU."
"What do you mean? Why not?"
"The job is too dangerous and since you're the only one left of your clan, if you adopt and something happens they'll only end up back in the orphanage. It's not advisable Naruto. Even so, some missions can be months at a time. You can't simply leave a shadow clone. The amount of chakra needed to be able to handle raising a child could negatively affect you out in the field. There are reasons these rules are in place."
Naruto crossed his arms with a frown and hoped the answer to his next question wouldn't be too complicated. "What do I have to do to build an orphanage?"
Tsunade gave him a confused gesture. "We already have one."
"It's not enough," Naruto argued. "We need another one."
The Hokage sat back and weighed the determination on Naruto's face. "Fine." She looked in her desk and pulled out a stack of papers. "All public projects must have a written proposal and all these forms must be filled out. Once it passes by me then it'll go to the council and you'll have to convince them why we need a second orphanage."
Naruto stared at the stack of paperwork in horror, "All these forms?"
Tsunade nodded. The tower of paper looked more formidable than Madara. Naruto gulped, took the challenge, and scooped the papers up in his arms. "I also want three-fourths of all my earnings to be donated straight to the existing orphanage."
Tsunade, leaning on the back legs of her chair, almost fell from it. "What? Naruto I can see how passionate you are about this but three-fourths is a little overboard."
"I can make do," Naruto shrugged, "and I would also like the Icha Icha royalties to transfer to a private savings account."
This time Tsunade pouted for personal reasons. She waved a hand, "I still haven't paid off all my gambling debts."
"Granny," Naruto pleaded.
"Fine. Any other demands?" She asked courteously.
Naruto thought for a second, "No."
"Well then let's talk," Tsunade said and pulled out the sake to emphasize the informality of the meeting. "What brought on all of this?" she asked curiously.
"I've realized that I don't need to be Hokage to do good things," Naruto said thoughtfully, "and I'm not going to give up on peace either. I've just decided to change my focus. I can't save everyone but that is not going to stop me from trying and I'm going to start with the kids."
Naruto admitted, "I know that without the Sandaime and then Iruka I probably would have turned out a lot differently. I could have easily become Sasuke or Pein. What made the difference for me..." Naruto stopped examining the patterns of the floor board and looked up at Tsunade with determination. "Sometimes all it takes is for someone to care."
A smile tugged on the tips of Tsunade lips. "I know I yell at you all the time but I am proud of you and proud of the man you're becoming, Hokage or not." She went into her drawer and withdrew the necklace that symbolized all her dreams. "This is yours."
Naruto smiled, glad Granny was able to understand. He reluctantly grabbed the necklace from her hand. He almost sighed in relief when he put it on. He's worn it for so long and felt weird going without.
"And get some sleep," Tsunade called after him as Naruto purposely crashed through the only closed window in the office. "NARUTO!"
Naruto spent the night with Jiraiya's gravestone before returning back home at the rise of the sun. He unlocked his door, took one glance around, realized he had the wrong apartment and reclosed the door. Naruto stopped. He looked up at the right apartment number. He nudged the door open and stared slack-jawed at the pristine clean and organized apartment.
"Told you I'd have a heart attack," the clone replied as Tomu was at the sink washing dishes. He turned around with a scowl, "This shadow clone thing is weird. It's like you're really here but not. I'm never going to get used to it," He grumbled.
"What are you doing?" Naruto shivered as he walked into some kind of warped genjutsu. His shadow clone disappeared and Naruto retrieved memories filled with him complaining as Tomu cleaned around him with an obsessive fervor. Naruto looked around his "new" apartment. Even everything in the bathroom was organized.
It wasn't Tomu's fault really. He just couldn't bear what his mom would say to see him living in such filth. She hated mess in her house and when she was sick, Tomu often helped her with the chores. Tomu scrubbed a dish and saw a reflection of her face. He rubbed the tear away with his arm.
Naruto noticed but didn't say a word. "Well, I guess ramen for breakfast?"
"NO!" Tomu said horrified. "Ramen for three meals a day? Didn't your mom ever teach you- oh," Tomu stopped himself. "I'll fix breakfast."
"You cook?" Naruto asked eagerly.
Tomu shook his head as he mumbled, "How have you survived for so long?" From Tomu's point of view, Naruto obviously needed someone to take care of him, and Tomu was fine with that. He was too used to taking care of people to stop now.
After he was finished Tomu took the plates to the couch and the two boys lounged as they watched the sun rise over Konoha.
"What are we going to do today?" Tomu asked curiously, "We might need to go shopping for more cleaning supplies."
Naruto grinned, "We can do that. But I was thinking we should go jump rope."
Naruto Uzumaki might have saved the world from Madara and that would be how most of the world would remember him, but every day he came home to the small triumphs none of his friends or anyone else ever knew about. Naruto has finally realized that it was those small triumphs that kept him going, even if no one ever knew his name. Even if he never became Hokage.
x
You ninja open your souls as much as we open our legs
AN: Updated 06/21/14