A/N. HI! :) You guys are amazing! I can't thank you enough for your lovely support! That's why I keep writing.

Sorry guys, don't have much medical knowledge. :P

Chapter 10

Sam's heart had stopped... twice. Once again during the surgery. He had three broken ribs, two bruised. A head injury, broken leg. A bruise right below his eye, split lip, broken wrist and a punctured lung. Thankfully, the doctors have took care of everything, but he still hasn't woken up yet. It's been a day now, but it felt more like weeks to Dean as he sat beside his baby brother who had tubes and wires sticking from his body, his upper body sat a little upright, his mouth gaping from the tube in his throat. The thing that keeps him breathing since he can't even freakin' breathe on his own. And that just adds to the list of things he should be guilty about, because he did this.

He rested a light hand on his little brother's bony wrist. The kid had surely lost some weight, his eyes still had dark circles under his eyes. He sighed heavily as he rubbed circles on the back of his hand. "Come on, Sammy... wake up." He whispered softly to his unconcious little brother. "I know I screwed up, but you gotta keep fighting... I know you think you have no one to fight for... but I'm here, Sammy. I want you to fight, for me." He felt more tears coming up, but he didn't let them escape. "Because if you're gone... then I'm giving up." He said roughly but his voice cracked. "Please."

Dean stared at Sam for a while, he didn't even twitch. He swiped at his eyes to wipe off the unshed tears. He heard a knock and he looked back to find Bobby holding his duffel bag. He walked in and placed his duffel bag on the floor, right beside the nightstand.

"So, how's he doin'? Did he wake up?" Bobby asked.

"No." Dean sighed distressedly.

Bobby reached and squeezed his shoulder once before letting out a sigh himself. "Your bag was open, I saw a paper inside and... I found something." He said as he held out a folded paper.

Dean took the paper and looked at Bobby.

"It's from Sam, and don't worry, I didn't read a thing." He smiled.

Dean rolled his eyes, he looked down at the paper, wondering what could be written inside, part of him doesn't want to know.

Bobby sighed. "I'll go get ya somethin' ta' eat." He patted his back and walked out.

Dean bit his lip as he unfolded the letter and started reading Sam's scribbling writing.

Dear Dean,

I know you don't want anything to do with me, you don't wanna hear anything from me. You probably threw it away the minute you saw who it's from, but if you're reading this then... well, that's good. I just wanted to say that, since I probably won't be there to say this again, I never said it, I know. But I love you, always had, always will. Even if you don't. I know what I did, I took mom and dad away from you, screwed up your childhood and life by simply existing, coming into your life. By now, you could've been married to a beautiful woman, living a normal life in one of those suburban houses if it weren't for me. Everytime I think about that, I'd wish that mom would've left me there to die, like you wanted, and I don't blame you for that. I wanna make it up to you for everything. Anyway, the whole point of this letter was that I love you. You mean the world to me, Dean. I love you more than anything, more than myself, even more than mom who I've never met, more than dad, even more than Jess. If you ever decide to forgive me for what I've done, even though I get that I don't deserve it, but if you do, then thank you. I wouldn't blame you if you're going to hold this grudge against me forever, even after I'm gone, but know that what I did that night, was for you, to save you.

I'm so sorry for everything, Dean. I'm really sorry.

Love, Sam.

Dean swallowed the lump growing in his throat as he red the letter. This is how Sam thinks and it's making him feel even crappier than he did. He put his hand on his wrist again and squeezed lightly. "Love you too, Sammy." He whispered. It wasn't so hard to say it this time, he owed him that anyway after telling that he didn't. He sighed as he leaned in to press a gentle kiss to his little brother's forehead.

"Trust you to drag me into a stupid chick-flick moment, even when you're freakin' asleep." He said after pulling back.

He looked at the heart monitor, beeping rhythmically as it moved it waves. He almost lost him, all because of his stupidity. He almost lost him in exchange for dad. He'd do anything to have his dad back, anything but give his brother away. He didn't know how, he was sure they had to be late. But whatever happened, he sent a silent 'thank you' to God upstairs.

His words, that face, they'll always haunt him. He knew that. It was something he'll never forgive himself for, something he'll hate himself for forever.

"It's okay, De."

But as long as he'll have his baby brother around, he can be alright.

He'll never understand, how after everything he's done, Sam could forgive him. Dean turned his face to his little brother and smoothed his bangs off his eyes.

"It's okay, Sammy... you'll be okay... just keep fighting, alright?"

"As long as I'm around... nothing bad is gonna happen to you."

Hahahaa! Sooo, too much? :P Thank you guys soo much for the support! :) I have like 200 reviews in Abusing Forgiveness, 80 reviews in Mentally broken and now this... God, you guys are awesome. I'm really glad you're enjoying this.