CrashIntoMe: Chapter10

Edward had a tough time letting Bella out of his sight. He couldn't shake the ominous sensation that consumed him since watching her rather severe reaction to what Angela discussed with the group. Yet how could he explain following her into Carlisle's office? He couldn't and he knew it. Not to mention there was a bit of a war waging within him. How he had reacted to her went against everything he was or had become. It killed him to do it but for his own defense he had to step back. He watched as she knocked on the door and disappeared inside the office. Instantly Edward felt a hole in his heart.

"Carlisle," Bella said stepping into his office. She saw the expression of sheer defeat he was wearing. She imagined what his continued talk with Angela must have been like. "Can I talk to you for a minute?" she hesitated not knowing if this was the right time to broach the subject given what he had just been dealing with.

"Sure, come in." Looking up Carlisle noticed the bruises on her neck that she wasn't going the best job at hiding. He feared what she too might reveal. He was noticeably taken off guard.

"I wanted to talk to you about something. I know it's not a typical request and I understand I don't fit the profile of your standard volunteer, but I would like to that, volunteer here."

This was definitely not what he thought he was going to hear. "Then you know that the majority of the volunteers are kids that have been in my program?" he asked.

"Yes. Alice told me. I still think that I could do work for you here. This is my dream. I want to make this my career. I want to be a social worker.

"I'm not sure about this Bella," he said. Carlisle was well aware of who her mother had been. In fact he could hear Renee's compassion in her daughter's voice but there was a part of him that couldn't see his way clear to allowing this. "Doing research for a paper and actually living the experience are two totally different things."

Bella cast a disappointed look in his direction. She had wanted this so badly – needed it really. She had to take control of her life again. She needed the safety this place made her feel. She went on to explain about her mom and her work at various rehab centers throughout the area. It wasn't until after hearing her heart felt words regarding her mother that Carlisle revealed that he had known Renee. He actually had been working at the same rehab center when she had been shot. Carlisle recalled that fateful night and just how much the rehab center had lost when Renee died. He now realized it wasn't just the center that had lost so much so had her daughter. Starring at Bella Swan was like looking at a carbon copy of Renee.

"How about I make you a deal?"

"Anything."

"Let's do this on a trial basis. You can continue sitting in on the group sessions and we'll see how things go."

"That would be great. Thank you so much, Carlisle. You have no idea how much this means to me."

Carlisle looked at the bruises and Bella's neck and they troubled him. "Hey what happened?" he pointed at her bruises. "Those look pretty sore."

Bella presented him with the same story she had fed Edward. She was almost beginning to believe the lie herself, however; Carlisle was far from convinced. But she was too excited to notice his look of concern. She was walking on air when she left Carlisle's office. Edward had been hanging around at the end of the hallway watching the office door. He approached her just as she was making her way toward the exit.

"Hey, are you okay?" he asked hesitantly.

"Yeah, great why?" she returned.

Edward couldn't help but do a double take. The sudden change in Bella's demeanor was a bit hard to believe. "It was a pretty rough session and well," he paused, "you looked a little upset before."

"I will admit it wasn't anything like I expected, but it was okay. I'm sure I'll get used to it."

"Get used to it?" he mimicked.

"Carlisle said that even though my research is done I can keep coming here if I want. I like it here."

Surprised Edward stood silent for a moment. Secretly, happy at the thoughts of seeing Bella on a more regular basis yet anxious in the same breath. He couldn't help but wonder why she said she liked it there. He was pretty sure most of the people there didn't have that initial reaction. It left him with an eerie feeling.

Edward looked once more at the striking girl before him and couldn't miss the bruises that were so prevalent on her neck. At the moment his defense mechanisms took a backseat to his gut instincts that told him to be on the lookout for her. He was sure there was ore to her account of how she got those than she was letting on. Edward couldn't shake the incredible urge he had to shield her from anything that would bring her harm. He was unnerved by this need to protect her. He had lost his feelings towards anyone other than his own survival so long ago that the emotions that Bella Swan brought out in him left him wondering just who he was anymore.

"Are you leaving?" he asked casually pushing his mixed thoughts into the background.

"Yes, I have to get home. My psychology paper isn't going to write itself. It's due soon and I haven't really done much more than the research part of it."

"Can I walk you to your car?"

I'm fine, besides it looks like Carlisle is waiting for you."

"He can wait a minute."

"I'll be fine. See you around, though, right?" she asked pensively.

"Sure."

When Bella checked the answering machine in her father's study, it blinked with seven messages. She could only imagine who they belonged to. The very last thing she wanted to do was be subjected to Riley's numerous apologies. She had finally been able to put the afternoon at the part out of her mind. She definitely didn't want to be forced into remembering it all over again. She didn't have much choice though there was a slim chance that there was something other than Riley's voice on there. One message was from Maria saying that she wouldn't be back that evening. She had a family emergency that she had to take care of, one from her father explaining that his trip would be longer than expected and he wouldn't be returning until late Wednesday evening. There were four messages from Rosalie, who much to Bella's surprise sounded rather concerned about her friend. But the one that shocked her the most was from Royce King. He was the one apologizing for Riley. He said that Riley knew that she wouldn't want to hear from him but that he was so sorry about what had happened earlier. Royce explained that Riley didn't know what had come over him. He would do anything for Bella to forgive him.

"How about leave me the hell alone?" she spoke to the tiny machine as it sat on the desk offering no response.

Bella shook her head in disbelief. This was the dance they did. The steps were so familiar. But this time she wouldn't be his partner. She was no longer going to play victim to his bully. Something inside of her today snapped. She wasn't sure if it was the fact that she had finally admitted to herself exactly what Riley had been doing to her all these months or that she didn't want to end up like that young girl she listened to this afternoon. Listening to Angela's account of her attack reminded Bella far too much of her and Riley. She couldn't fathom what she would do if she found herself in a similar position as Angela. It was Bella's plan to never let Riley that close again to find out.

Climbing the stairs to her room, all Bella wanted was a nice long hot shower. She hoped that might help the stiffness that had found its way into her neck. She was aghast at the bruises she saw when she took a long hard look in the mirror. It was difficult to miss the clear image of a hand print sprawled across her pale skin on the left side of her neck. The story that she had told Edward and Carlisle about what had happened to her was crazy and that they believed it was even more insane.

The scalding water washed over her body. Bella tilted her head back allowing the water to cascade across her neck as if that would somehow wash away the marks from Riley's assault. She had been in the shower for over an hour when the water ran cold against her skin. Just as she was turning off the shower, she heard the phone ringing in her room. Quickly she dried off and reached for the receiver. "Hello," she said almost out of breath.

"Thank god you finally answered. Where the hell did you go? Royce and I were so worried about you. We looked everywhere we could think of." Bella resisted the urge to roll her eyes at her friend's over dramatic tone.

"You may have been worried but I think you might want to check with that boyfriend of yours. Not sure he was as worried as you think."

"What on earth of you babbling about? You ran off, but Royce really let Riley have it. We couldn't believe what he was doing!"

"You know what Rose," Bella sighed not ready or wanting to rehash the day's events, "It's been a really long day. I just want to curl up in bed and forget all about today."

"Are you really okay?" Rosalie questioned with as much concern as she could muster.

"I've been better."

"Bella, what the hell really happened?"

"Can we please just talk about it tomorrow?"

"I guess," Rosalie paused. "You are my best friend. I just want to help."

"I know." Bella wanted to believe her friend but past experiences had taught her better. "Right now all I want is to go to bed. Thanks for your concern." Bella heard how detached her voice sounded and Rosalie was too embroiled in her own relationship with Royce and all that trappings that that entailed to notice anything else. Bella had no doubt that eventually Riley would find a way to make everyone believe that again this was her fault. She couldn't help but feel totally alone in the world. No one would ever have the privilege of seeing the Riley Biers she had and in her heart Bella knew it was time to cut her losses and move on.

"I'll meet you by the lockers in the morning, okay?" Rose asked.

"Sure, see you then."

Bella placed the phone in its cradle, turned off the light and crawled into bed. Falling asleep was a welcome relief.