AN- I (INUYONAS) JUST READ THIS AWESOME STORY CALLED KONOHA'S ANNUAL MAN HUNT BY CRAZYFROG07 AND IT WAS DOWNRIGHT INCREDIBLE! IT'S ALSO A COLLABORATION...

...YOU GUYS SHOULD TELL US WHO'S IS BETTER...lol

HANA-01 + INUYONAS = When Naruto punched Sasuke in the face during his one tailed cloak transformation after Sasuke piled drived him into the ground at the Valley of end.

PURE OWNAGE

To those who reviewed you are Safe from Orochimaru's butt wrath...for now.

Those who are safe are:

Maxridelover: You are safe because you like our Raditz joke.

Disconinja10: You're safe because Orochimaru does not like the backside of disco ninja's...Lucky you.

Yuti-chan: You are safe because you review every chapter like an awesome fan should lol.

Thefinalfighter: You are safe because Orochimaru doesn't like Final fighters either.

EchoUchiha: You're too awesome to get ravaged by Orochimaru

Chaptermaster: No my friend. I (Inuyonas) am the chapter master lol...just kidding, you're safe.

Amaranteotaku: You're safe because Crime pays in unexpected ways...is an awesome story that you wrote. Everyone should go read it right after you read this chapter.

raeven kate: You are safe because Orochimaru is astounded by your wonderful and perfect in every way Almond blossom's story. Everyone should read that too.

mole with a troll up his hole: I (Inuyonas) met a troll with a mole up his hole before...I also met a hole with a troll and a mole in it...weird I know...but you're safe.

dcfan100: There's this game called DC vs. Mortal kombat...you should get it and own with Superman because no mortal kombat character can f'k with Superman.

Danasca: You're safe because Orochimaru doesn't know what your username means.

DragonTamer186: You should have played on that one movie how to train your dragons...yeah...you would have been awesome.

Crecre: Orochimaru cowers in fear of this new powerful ninja called "CreCre." Owner of the Crecre-gan lol

Ndasuunye: Listen let me (Inuyonas) tell you something. The Mizukage and Temari DO NOT WANT YOU! lol You're gonna have to fight Shikamaru first.

Blazingreaper: Do you reap with a blazing lash?

Blue thundering flame: Can a flame really thunder? If it can then we are all doomed.

My Grass Is Emo so I cut it: Orochimaru has viciously , and traumatically assaulted your backside. Why? Because you don't mind.

N.V.9: Orochimaru was beaten to a pulp because I (Inuyonas) have your back lol.

thatCHICKyouUSEDtoKNOW: I think I (Inuyonas) used to know you...Orochimaru WANTS to know you , and since you want him to get you...

Selkadoom13: You are safe because Orochimaru is tired from assaulting those people right above you and three names up from you lol.

FNORD: Orochimaru is tired after reading your long review lol maybe you should do more of those

Lady Crack: You are safe because you fist bumped Orochimaru in the face.

Hachichiyyin: We are glad that you like our collaboration. Maybe you would enjoy our other stories.

Deathsilver: Orochimaru was about to have his way with you because he was Disguised as Anko but you found out in the nick of time.

MmmmChineseFood: Orochimaru will not get you because he doesn't like Chinese food. Thanks for reviewing!

Azn91: Since you reviewed, you won't have to bury yourself, you are safe from Orochipedo!

Darkchain zangetsu: Your review grants your butt protection from Orochimaru

Hypnotic flames: you are safe because with those hypnotising flames, Orochimaru won't dare get near you!

Classified: Orochimaru won't get you…since you asked so nicely.

FlashDance002: Orochimaru won't get you... because he is upset that you think Ao is very sexy.

HERE IS THE NEXT CHAPTER!

Chapter Ten

Itachi was still standing on the pitcher's mound with his shirt off.

"Okay team, come out and get in your spots on the field." Itachi commanded.

As Tayuya walked passed everyone's favourite Uchiha, she couldn't help the blush forming on her face.

Itachi saw this.

"Why Tayuya, I didn't know you thought of me like that."

"Sh-SHUT THE FUCK UP!" She hollered. "As if I would ever...besides you probably have a small penis."

If that were said to anyone else they probably would have gotten mad, but this is Itachi Uchiha we're talking about.

Itachi merely smiled.

"Oh Tayuya, how wrong you are. You do know that I am never wrong. Shall I take my pants off as well?"

"YES!" Shouted the ENTIRE stadium.

"OMIGOD TAKE THEM OFF!"

"Jeez Sakura. You are such a whore."

Sakura glared at Hidan.

"You are just jealous that Itachi is a better looking man than you are." She said to him.

"HA! if that's the case then he's a better looking dude than you too." Hidan shot back.

Sakura punched him.

"Damn Sakura-kun."

Sakura punched Naruto as well.

"Sakura you flat-chested, surf board body having, man whore, stop punching people."

Sakura sulked at Sasuke's words.

"She dare not punch me. I'm Sasuke Uchiha aka the Hearthrob aka Mr Make Your Panties Wet."

Kabuto was still standing behind Sasuke with one arm...He was bleeding profusely from the stump left where his other arm was.

"I...will...g-get your hair..."

The Eternal Mangekyou flashed dangerously.

"Really now..."

The Tsuchikage was thumbing through the latest edition of Icha Icha.

"Have you young people no shame? The things you read. In my day if you wanted to see porn you would go to your neighbour's house and ask them if they would let you watch them have sex with their husband and or wife. "

"Oh yeah I remember those days..." Madara said scratching his masked chin in thought, "In fact, Hashirama Senju was my neighbour. And if I remember correctly, the battle at The Valley of the End started because I criticized his techniques in the bedroom and not because of what the history books tell you…"

Kakashi was staring intently at Onoki.

"How dare he sully my dear Icha Icha with his dirty ,OLD hands...After the baseball competition is over Someone is gonna get a Chidori shoved up the ass..." He muttered to himself

"Is it me? Kukuku."

O_o

"Kakashi!" Itachi warned.

Kakashi jumped forward as a hand almost grabbed his butt. Kakashi turned around and came face to face with the embodiment of forced Yaoi himself.

Orochimaru.

"Get back in the announcer's booth you sick, sick snake." said Kakashi

"I would but seeing Itachi-kun over there has really peeked my curiosity."

"So in other words it made you horny." Itachi commented

"Yes it made me Ovulate."

"Only women can do that..." Kakashi said.

"Kukuku...You forget...I no longer have a penis..."

Itachi and Kakashi shared a look.

"Well then we will have to force you back."

Itachi's Mangekyou came to life.

"Well folks it looks like Itachi Uchiha and Kakashi Hatake are going to face off against Orochimaru!" Jiraiya said.

"Folks' the fight has started!" Kisame said.

"ITACHI JUST DUCKED UNDER A PUNCH THROWN BY OUR FAVOURITE HOMO SANNIN! KAKASHI JUST UPPERCUTTED OROCHIMARU!"

"HOLD ON KISAME, OROCHIMARU USED A SUBSTITUTION JUTSU! HE APPEARED BEHIND ITACHI WHO STILL HAS NOT PUT A SHIRT ON YET! WATCH OUT ITACHI!"

"JIRAIYA CAN YOU SEE? BLACK FLAMES JUST APPEARED ON OROCHIMARU'S BODY! WAIT A MINUTE THAT WAS A SUBSTITUTION TOO! KAKASHI JUST ACTIVATED HIS RAIKIRI TECHNIQUE! HE SHOVED IT IN OROCHIMARU'S CROTCH!"

"KISAME HE'S BEING SUCKED INTO OROCHIMARU'S CROTCH! HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE? BUT ITACHI SAVES HIM..WHEW...WAIT A MINUTE, WHAT'S THIS? TWO NEWCOMERS ARE ON THE FIELD AND RUNNING TOWARDS THE FIGHT. ONE IS BLONDE AND THE OTHER HAS SILVER HAIR!"

"YOU THOUGHT YOU COULD GET AWAY OROCHI-PEDO! DID HE THINK HE COULD ESCAPE NARUTO?"

"I'M GONNA RASENSHURIKEN HIS FACE OFF!"

"AWW SHIT ME AND NARUTO BOUT TO GO APE aka SAKURA!" Hidan shouted as he lunged at Orochimaru.

"We're gonna beat the gay outta his FACE!" Sage mode was activated as Naruto said this.

"Kukukuku…I do enjoy a beating from good looking men…"

Suddenly, there was a whirlwind of dust and in their midst stood none other than Kabuto, bleeding , armless and all. He ripped off his shirt with his remaining arm and yelled, "Oh My Master, I've waited so long for this day, I've tried to avenge you…I've tried every which way to get you back, oh My Master, I've tried to be everything you ever wanted. I'm going to capture this moment and not let it slip away! I've waited and waited but I just can't take it anymore, I need you NOW!"

Orochimaru stopped ogling Itachi, Kakashi, Naruto and Hidan and eyed Kabuto disdainfully, "Kabuto, your clinginess is such a turn off."

A tear rolled down Kabuto's cheek.

"Behold! A gay soap opera!" Jiraiya said.

"Filled with tension and testosterone!" Kisame added.

"And don't forget oestrogen, remember Orochimaru said that he is ovulating."

"Huh?"

"Nevermind, Kisame…"

"Itachi! I want your body now, hold it against me!" Orochimaru yelled, totally ignoring Kabuto.

"Master! If I can't have you, nobody will!" Kabuto cried, pulling out a scalpel.

"Kisame! What is this? Kabuto has just plunged a scalpel into Orochimaru's heart!"

Orochimaru clutched his chest and coughed up blood while tears were spilling from Kabuto's eyes. Itachi, Kakashi, Naruto and Hidan looked on with pitying looks on their faces.

"K-K-Kabuto…what is the meaning of this? I'm paralysed, I can't move or use any of my techniques. What have you done to me you wretched boy?"

"It's a poison which prevents you from using your chakra. Master, don't you understand? I'm only killing you because I love you and can't bear to see you love any other!"

"Hey Sakura, remember that time you tried to kill me and you epically failed?" Sasuke asked her.

"You tried to kill me too! That means you love me!"

'Uh, no it doesn't. It means I wanted you dead."

"Aww…"

"I also tried to kill you Haruno-san."

Sakura looked over to who said this.

Her eyes widened at the sight she was presented with.

"G-Gaara?"

Gaara was sitting in the row below her.

"I guess that means I love you." Gaara said.

Sakura was at a loss for words.

Sasuke was listening intently...Although he didn't know why.

"I'm joking Haruno. There is no way that I did nor will I ever harbor feelings for you in any type of Romantic way."

Sakura sighed in relief. "Well that's a relief. You're not my type of guy Gaara. The whole redhead thing doesn't work for me. I like em with jet black hair." She said this as she looked at Sasuke.

Gaara frowned.

"What's wrong with redheads?"

Sakura turned to the new voice and almost gasped in fear.

Nagato Uzumaki who was sitting right next to Gaara was turned around and staring at Sakura with his Rinnegan active.

"Sakura Haruno let it be known that you have brought the wrath of the redheads down on you." The Kazekage said.

"The Former Ichibi container is right. From this point on watch your back."

Sakura was deathly afraid at this point.

"Oh no. A kage and a Kage level Shinobi have it out for me. What should I do Sasuke?"

Sasuke smirked. "I think you should insult them some more."

"Are our beating services no longer required now?" Hidan asked.

"Let's beat them both. For fun!" Naruto said.

"Fuck yeah! Now you're talking!"

But before they could do anything, Orochimaru fell to the ground, still clutched his bleeding chest with the scalpel stuck in it, "I-I-Itachi-kun…" And his eyes closed.

Kabuto dropped down and started shaking him, "NO MASTER! Your dying words were supposed to be my name! Wake up my Master! Wake up and say it again!"

"He's not even dead, look at that, he's breathing. He must be sleeping…" Kakashi said boredly.

Meanwhile, Madara was getting extremely agitated. He planned this tournament with two motives in mind. One was to bring together the strongest ninja and the second was to win Tsunade's heart. He will be damned if this gay clown show ruins everything!

Madara appeared on to the field in a swirl and a menacing aura surrounding him. Everyone on the field began to back away slowly. "You," he pointed to Kabuto, "Get back in the stands." He sucked Kabuto up into the other dimension and then deposited him back in the stands next to Sasuke who cracked his knuckles together.

"Ladies and gentlemen, Orochimaru is back in here with us. Granted, he is unconscious, but that's just the way we like him!" Jiraiya said as Orochimaru appeared in the announcers booth via Madara's technique.

Madara looked at Naruto and Hidan, "Scram."

"Listen you Old ass man. No one, NO ONE! talks to us that way! Tell him Naruto."

"Yeah! NO ONE! is gonna tell us what to do anymore! We have too many fans for that! We're not goin' anywhere! Datte-fuckin-bayo bitch!"

All of a sudden Naruto and Hidan were back in the stands.

"What happened?"

"I blame Sakura." Hidan said staring at said Kunoichi.

Mei started fanning herself, I love it when an Uchiha man starts taking charge. It's so sexy…

Tsunade reached for a sake bottle and started drinking to her heart's content.

"Will a hitter from Team Awesome please come to the field?" Madara thundered.

"Yes Madara-sama! Right away Madara-sama!" Mei squealed, grabbing Karui's bat and walking out onto the field.

"You can't go out there!" Tenten screamed and pulled Mei back and marched out into the outfield with her bat in hand.

"Well Jiraiya the game is back on. Team Awesome is hitting again and they have three points to their name while the Epic Team has none. Hitting for Team Awesome is none other than – who is that?"

"That's Tenten, Konoha's Weapon's mistress," Jiraiya said.

"Tenten? Isn't that some kind of Pig?"

"No that's Ton-ton Kisame."

"Isn't that what Ballerina girls wear?"

"No that's a Tu-tu Kisame."

"Isn't that what sound a clock makes?"

"No that's tic-toc."

"I got it! Isn't that what Sakura needs?"

"No that's Titties."

"Remember the name," Tenten called, "I'm the future Mrs. Tenten Hyuuga and I'm going to hit this one out of the stadium!"

That's my girl, Neji cheered inside his mind.

The Epic Team took their positions on the field and Kakashi threw his first pitch to Tenten. She narrowed her eyes as the ball came towards her and she swung and cleared the ball out of the stadium.

"Home run folks!" Jiraiya yelled.

"Four points to Team Awesome. They need six more to win, awesome indeed," Kisame said.

"Next up, from Iwagakure is Kurotsuchi. How will she fare going up against her master's team?"

"Sorry Old Man Onoki, I'm going to have to annihilate your team," Kurotsuchi declared confidently.

"Look at this girl, talking as if she's an Uchiha," Itachi said, widening his eyes slightly.

"Someday I might be," Kurotsuchi said, and she turned in the direction of the stands where Sasuke was sitting and blew him a kiss.

O_o

"…Uhhh…" Sasuke said, looking confused.

"BITCH PLEASE!" Sakura yelled, "He's mine!"

"Bitch Please..." Sasuke commented.

"No…he's mine." said a sinister voice.

"OROCHIMARU!" Hidan yelled and punched Sakura.

"M-m-master? I thought you were dead! I thought I killed you!" Kabuto stuttered.

"Silly Kabuto. You? Kill me? That was all an act. Why, I merely used the replacement technique, kukukuku."

"Jiraiya, why is there a log in the announcers booth?"

"Darn that snake, he always manages to slither away!"

"Wait there's a note on the log Jiraiya."

"What's it say?"

"It says 'I am a snake on the hunt for dinner, but I do not have my venom...'

"It's a riddle! But what is his dinner?"

"..and his Venom."

"So Sasuke, about that body of yours – ack!"

Hidan got Orochimaru in a chokehold.

"'Ruto, want to do the honours?"

"Don't mind if I do!" Naruto said, forming a rasengan and hurling it at Orochimaru.

Meanwhile…on the field, Kakashi pitched to Kurotsuchi and she hit the ball into the air. However, no one was currently interested in the game as they were watching Orochimaru fly through the air and crash through the glass of the announcers booth.

The ball landed on the grass and Kurotsuchi took her time skipping to all the bases and finally reaching home base.

"Home run!" Tsunade slurred, waving her sake bottle in the air.

Madara shook his head. He should have known better than to resurrect Orochimaru as a judge. That man's Uchiha fetish was just far too unhealthy. But luckily the baseball match was back in progress and that filthy snake was incapacitated (he hoped). Now, he just had that other matter to attend to…

"Pssst! Hey! Third Hokage's grandson, stop making out with Hiashi's daughter and come here," Madara said, beckoning to Konohamaru who had his arms around Hanabi and his tongue down her throat. They ignored him and continued to make out. "Ahem! Madara Uchiha here trying to get your attention!"

"Sorry," Konohamaru said, finally tearing his lips away from Hanabi's, "What is it?"

"Is that any way to talk to a great ninja like me?"

Konohamaru and Hanabi stared at him. Madara sighed.

He then pulled out what looked like a video camera from inside his cloak and handed it to Konohamaru. "That's the kiss cam."

"The…kiss cam?"

"Yes. The big screen in the stadium which will stream whatever you film with that. Now, you'll mostly be filming the baseball match, but listen here and listen good," Madara said, stalking closer to Konohamaru who was backing away slowly, "At every break, you're going to put up the kiss cam sign and zero in on a couple and they have to kiss. You make sure that one of those couples is Tsunade-hime and myself, and I will reward you most graciously…"

"What's the reward?" Hanabi piped up.

"My autograph."

"Forget it."

"How ungrateful, other ninja would kill for my autograph!" Madara said angrily.

"Its cash or nothing ," Konohamaru said, folding his arms.

"Fine…fine…are you two proud of yourselves for extorting money out of an elderly individual?"

"Yes. Yes we are," said Hanabi.

Madara gave them some change that he had in his pocket.

"Do you think we're messing around here? Hand over more!" Konohamaru demanded.

Madara searched all his pockets and came up with nothing. Not a cent. "Mind if I write a check?"

"Only if it's for ten million US Dollars!" Hanabi said.

"What?" Madara asked, genuinely confused.

"Hanabi wait, make that ten billion US Dollars!"

Madara frowned at them from under his mask, but he pulled out his checkbook and wrote a check for ten billion US Dollars. He was pretty sure that they wouldn't be able to cash it in the ninja world anyway.

"Hah! We tricked you! We know that such money doesn't exist in this world! Shame on you," Konohamaru said.

Madara clenched his fists, he was only one last nerve away from punching the both of them in to oblivion. Konohamaru whispered something in Hanabi's ear and she giggled and nodded.

"We will do it," Konohamaru said.

Madara handed over the camera, but as he was thinking thoughts about how he was going to finally make out with Hashirama's granddaughter, he missed the devious smiles that were on Hanabi's and Konohamaru's faces.

"Damn Sakura why are the Kazekage and Nagato glaring at you? Did you do something useless again?" Hidan said.

"NO! I - I upset them."

"Sakura we've told you over and over again, that the things that come out of your mouth when you open it are irrelevant to everything and no one wants to hear it."

"Shut up Naruto no baka."

"Bitch you look like a testicle."

She slapped Naruto.

Hidan laughed at Naruto's jab.

"I mean seriously Sakura." Sasuke started. "You are so unimportant that on the Naruto based games you don't have to be unlocked. At least My Sharingan abilities have to be unlocked, and Naruto's Kyuubi powers have to be unlocked and even Hidan himself has to be unlocked. You are just regular canon fodder You have no special ninjutsu, you have barely capable genjutsu and your taijutsu is just punch and break things. You epically fail you useless as hell Naruto character, and not to mention bitch you look like Cell jr."

Sakura nearly died as Sasuke ranted on.

"Damnit Sasuke, if you would have kept going I think that you would have killed her. You were almost there." Nagato complained.

Konohamaru and Hanabi were crouched behind an unsuspecting Deidara. Kono was holding the Kiss cam.

"Ready Hanabi-chan?"

"Oh I LOVE it when you call me chan sweetie."

"Baby wait till we're done then you can have all the Konohamaru in your belly you want."

"What the hell are the12 year olds talking about?" Deidara said as he turned around and caught sight of them.

"NOW!"

AN- WHAT ARE KONOHAMARU AND HANABI UP TOO?

WILL OROCHIMARU STAY PUT? WHAT DID HIS NOTE ON THE LOG MEAN?

WILL SAKURA EVER STOP BEING BASHED? (no)

TUNE IN NEXT TIME ON ANOTHER THRILLING INSTALLMENT OF THE N.A.S.T!

TELL YUR FRIENDS ABOUT US!