Jinora always had somewhat of a mysterious air about her. She kept to herself more often than not, differing a great deal from her siblings. Whether through meditation, her books, or even her own thoughts, she always seemed to be absorbed within another world. It mostly went unnoticed since Ikki and Meelo usually overshadowed her, and it never concerned anyone. With her father being a councilman and her mother always having something to tend to around the temple, having a child with Jinora's character was a blessing. Studious, intelligent, responsible, mature, calm, caring – she was a near perfect daughter. If it weren't for the occasional fights and games with her siblings, it would be easy to forget her young age of only 11 years old.
"Hey." Kai's voice made Jinora rip her attention from her book.
"Hey Kai."
He sat down beside her quietly for a few moments as he observed her. Jinora gave him a questioning look and turned towards him, waiting for him to say something.
"Are you doing okay?" His eyes held concern, and it caught Jinora off guard.
"Yes. Why do you ask?"
"I don't know. You seemed kind of out of it today."
Jinora knew what he meant. She could hardly focus during meditation, which bothered her more than anything. Usually, she had the ability to push everything from her mind when she meditated, but today she couldn't clear her head. An image wouldn't stop lingering in her mind.
"Oh, it's nothing. I just had a rough night," she said as she returned to leaning her back against a tree.
"You couldn't sleep?"
"Sort of. I had a bad dream, and it just bothered me a little." She shifted her attention back to reading, now only giving a portion of her attention to the conversation. Kai took it as a sign that something was wrong. He could never imagine Jinora ignoring him, or anyone for that matter.
"What was it about?" He said, deciding to pry further.
He saw her messing with the page corners – a habit she had when lost in thought. Kai couldn't decide whether he thought she couldn't remember, or if she tried to think of a lie to tell him.
"It's not important. I can hardly remember it, anyway." She never took her eyes from the pages, and she spoke the words with disinterest in her voice.
"It's probably important if it's bothering you, Jinora."
"I think that's something I can decide for myself," she said harshly as she tightened her grip on the covers.
Kai stiffened, not exactly sure what step to take. He never expected a response like that from her, but it only reaffirmed that whatever was on her mind had to be serious. He considered just apologizing and coming back later, but decided against it when he realized that if he was in her place, she wouldn't leave his side until he talked to her about it, whether he wanted her to or not.
"I-I'm sorry." He mentally hit himself for stuttering. He didn't have any experience in making people open up to him; he's spent most of his life trying to avoid it, actually. He scooted closer to her side and looked up to the sky, contemplating his next move. As he did this, he could feel Jinora shift beside him. When he turned his head towards her, he saw the book laying closed in her lap where her eyes still stayed focused.
"I didn't mean to be to be so…mean." Her expression became filled with even more discomfort, and Kai panicked slightly. He had no idea what he was doing, and it seemed as if his presence only made her feel worse.
"I know. I mean, it's fine. I didn't mean to make you mad."
Jinora finally looked at him, and Kai found comfort in the small smile that made its way to her lips. "You didn't make me mad. I'm just used to keeping these things to myself."
"That sounds like something I would say."
A small laugh escaped from her mouth, and she nudged him playfully. "I guess we're not completely different then, are we?"
"I wouldn't really say that's a good thing, though."
The little bit of cheerfulness that was restored to her demeanor disappeared.
"What do you mean?"
"I'm not used to talking about things because I tried to distance myself from people. I only started opening up because I found people I cared about," he smiled at her before he continued, "Because I met you."
The warmth that she felt in her chest reached Jinora's face as a light blush dusted her cheeks. She looked at him and realized how little of his veil she saw lately, and she never thought about her being the reason behind it. It made her happy that Kai thought of her as someone he cared about, because caring about each other is something else they had in common, and that was a good thing. She looked at him fondly, and nerves came over her once she decided to tell him what exactly it was that bothered her. She brought her knees to her chest and stared at her twiddling thumbs.
"I had a dream about you getting shot out of the sky. I woke up, and it took me a while to convince myself that you were okay. Seeing you this morning helped, but I haven't been able to get the image out of my head."
She waited for him to say something, expecting him to confirm how stupid it was.
Oh, that's all?
That's not a big deal.
It happened over two months ago; you haven't forgotten about it yet?
She braced herself for the words, but instead felt an arm wrap firmly around her shoulders.
"Sometimes I have dreams about when I was in the Dai Li camp, or the nights when I was out on the streets and didn't have a place to stay. I knew it was my fault that I was in those situations, but it scared me to think that someone could hurt me whenever they wanted." He looked down, feeling his heartbeat quicken. This was the first time he's mentioned it. He never liked telling people when things bothered him because he grew up thinking that he had to show the world he could handle whatever circumstances life threw at him. However, he knew that if there was one person who knew these things about him, he would want it to be Jinora. If it made her feel better, then that would make it all the more worth it.
"Those things weren't your fault, Kai." Jinora looked sympathetically at him. She couldn't wrap her head around the fact that he blamed himself for what happened to him.
He smiled solemnly to himself and continued without responding to her. "It can be hard when you want to forget about things, but you keep on being reminded of it by something you can't control."
What else does he blame himself for? Jinora wondered after he didn't acknowledge her words. She could feel him absentmindedly tugging her closer to him as he talked, and she thought that maybe this was his way of looking for comfort while trying to provide it to her at the same time. Then she realized that this wasn't something he was used to. He's used to pushing people away. No one really knew him, what he went through, how he feels.
"Sometimes I feel like it's easier to not tell anyone about these things, but other times it makes it a lot harder to deal with," she said as she leaned closer to him.
"Why do you keep it to yourself if it bothers you so much? I'm sure you have a lot of people who are willing to listen."
"I guess so, but it never really feels like a good time. Everyone is so busy, and they have their own things to deal with. There's always so much going on, so there never seems to be a point in bringing up these things, you know? It's all in my head anyway; it's not real."
"I'm never that busy."
"Oh, well –"
"You can talk to me whenever something's bothering you, whether it's a dream or anything else. I may not have the best advice since I'm not really good at that stuff, but I can always listen," he offered.
She smiled gratefully at him. "Thank you, Kai," Her lips brushed against his cheek before she wrapped her arms around his waist, "And you can talk to me about anything, okay?"
"Okay," he smiled as he rested his head against hers. While they sat there, Kai couldn't help but feel a tad bit guilty. He felt bad that Jinora was having nightmares about him; he really did, but it also felt nice that she cared about him enough to be afraid of losing him.
From then on, Jinora told Kai about her most haunting memories. The experiences of being kidnapped by the Equalists, being in the fog of lost souls, and having a person bargain with her soul all stayed with her when she acted like it was just another page she turned in her life. At first, she was always hesitant, trying to find the best way to start a conversation and changing her mind when she couldn't find the right words, but it got better with time. When Kai listened to her, he couldn't help but be amazed by everything she's been through, and he'd never admired anyone more in his life.
With each conversation they had, he came a little closer to letting her get a glimpse of his fears, insecurities, and memories. He preferred to stay the way he's always been – happy and without a care. That image didn't mesh well with his fear of rejection or the multiple regrets he had along the way of his life on the streets. However, he knew that if Jinora trusted him enough to open up to him, he would get there eventually.
A/N: Hello everyone! I'm so sorry for the long wait. Classes are taking up a lot of my time. Just so you know, I'm not just forgetting about this story. I try to write at least a few sentences or edit some things everyday, so the slow pace is what's making me take so long. I know it doesn't really make that much of a difference to you, but I'm telling you anyway. I tried to give this chapter a more serious topic to show the steps Kai and Jinora took to trust each other more. I love the idea of Jinora thinking of Kai as her person and vice versa, so they find a lot of comfort in each other. As always, I really appreciate you guys, and thank you so much for the favorites/follows/reviews. They mean so much to me, and I hope to hear some more of your feedback!
