A/N: Hello guys! I will soon have to push the plot a little bit further, since we're halfway done here and I want to end this fic properly. And perhaps in an unexpected way :)
Disclaimer: I do not own The Mortal Instruments or any character in this fic, they all belong to Cassandra Clare.
Dear Alexander,
Things are better now. Still not particularly good, but… better.
It's been a few weeks since I saw you in my dream, and God… I want to believe it was true. I want to believe that you felt it too.
Does that make me naive?
Whenever I was thinking about you I felt terrible pain, but now… something's different. I can feel your presence. I know that you're here, looking after me. I could have sworn, that every time my nightmares tormented me, when I woke up – it was like you held me in your arms again.
I think something's different about me coping with your death. Maybe I realized that even though you are no longer part of this world, you're still with me for the whole time. How ironic is it, a demon having his own Guardian Angel…?
Your parents want to see me at the Institute, they say it's some kind of a "warlock problem" and a "special case". I guess I will have to go there after all. But I swear, if they're just going to give me another lecture about my kind selling some weird drugs to Shadowhunters, I'm gonna scream. But seriously, Shadowhunters – that's the thing about Warlocks, we are vile, repulsive drug dealers. I get it. But who is stupid enough to buy all that stuff even despite knowing there are some nasty consequences? Certainly not us.
Okay, that's not the thing I've wanted to tell you. I'm not completely clueless about what's going on in Europe. I know that my brothers and sisters have been slaughtered, and I'm seriously considering going there. But I also know that I can't leave New York Shadowhunters without High Warlock, that's why I think it would be better to send some trusted Warlock there, even though I hate the idea of sending someone else instead of going myself. I hate myself for risking someone else's life just because I am "The High Warlock of Brooklyn" and can't leave New York. What if that someone gets hurt, or even worse…?
I'm not exactly a hero type, Alec, I'm aware of that. But I'm not a coward. Whoever is doing such things there… I would love to show this bastard my darker side. You may wonder why exactly do I even care about my kind, because I've never really cared before, but I don't know if I can answer this question properly. Maybe I become more aware of the ties that bind me to other Warlocks? Perhaps, deep down I know, that I should act according to the unwritten code that lingers between all the Warlocks. And if I completely reject my legacy, do I exist at all…?
Oh my, I got a bit nostalgic.
But during our time together, I've watched you with your family, how you acted with them, how you always wanted to protect them and even though they hurt you, you still loved them. I thought that's the thing about family – you're forced to love them. But no. It's not that. Maybe I couldn't understand that because I've never had a family of my own? Or maybe I just stopped caring for people because I've lost so many of them? I don't know.
Something was broken inside of me. There was this darkness, always ready to swallow me, but you fixed it. You took this darkness away and taught me how to love again. That is so ironic. I'm older and more experienced, I was supposed to be teaching you stuff, but instead I was like a child lost in the dark and you found me, took me by the hand and guided me into the light.
I'm so grateful for that, my dear Alexander… Because when I was left behind here on earth, while you're gone to the other side, even though I was lost in the dark again, I was able to come out into the light.
You are my light.
Love,
Magnus
I hope you guys liked it! Reviews are love. xx