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Montana smiled down at the cast. His smile was odd.
Marcus waved. "I don't suppose you have noticed, but there are fangs poking over your bottom lip."
"Really?" Montana turned to Sythar. "A shrewd master of observation, that man."
Sythar nodded. Then his smile dropped. He seemed to be frozen by the sight of the three-inch long incisors that Montana was suddenly sporting. "Uh. Where did they come from?"
"Someone..." Montana looked reverently up to the sky. "Has a Vampire addiction."
"Ah."
"Excuse me," Marcus waved again. "Do pardon me for intruding, but it is rather hot down here, and some of us have been forced to wear layers of black. If you wouldn't mind?"
"Sorry," the directors chorused. There was a pause, and they all looked at each other.
"Somebody say it!" Constellation sighed.
From a corner in the galaxy, a tiny little voice squeaked, "Questors!" A shot rang out and there was the unmistakable sound of a body hitting the dirt.
Montana lowered his gun and looked innocently at the sky. "Where were we? Ah, yes. PLACES!!!"
Everyone stared. There was a long pause, and then the actors scuttled to their places.
"ROLL EM!"
Morden glanced down the long rocky slope. In the distance, the black figure of Marcus could be seen clearly. Morden shook his head. "In... In..." he smiled broadly. "Incon..."
"This is getting me down," Ivanova growled.
A pair of cymbals clashed. Morden glared. "I haven't said it yet!"
"They know," Ivanova nodded in the direction the sound had been coming from. It was replaced with a low rumble of an angry mob. "Stop dragging out your lines."
"Inconceivable," he said sulkilly. "You lot ruin all my fun."
"It's my job," Ivanova said. "I foil your fun, and Londo gets to kill you. Personally, I think Londo hogs the best jobs."
"Give her to me!" Morden snapped, grabbing Ivanova's arm. He began to hurry away up the mountainside. Then he paused and looked back at Kosh. He spoke carefully and clearly. "Catch up with us quickly."
Kosh breathed heavily. "What do I do?"
"Finish him!" Morden twitched slightly, spittle flying everywhere. "Finish him. Your way!"
"Good." Kosh paused. He breathed heavily. He looked at the sky. Then his head swiveled to face Morden. "How?"
Morden scowled and waved a hand frenetically at a few rocks close by. He came dangerously close to hitting Ivanova. "Pick up a rock. Get behind a boulder. In a few minutes, the Marcus in Black will come running around the corner. The minute his head is in view..." Morden flung out his arms again and Ivanova ducked sharply. "...Hit it with the rock!!" He began to cackle. And then to choke.
Ivanova snorted. "Pick up a rock? I know I've said this before, but your tiny little mind doesn't seem to have grasped it yet. He doesn't have any arms."
"Never mind!" Morden screeched, grabbing her hand again and tugging her towards the pathway up the cliff. "He'll figure it out." He laughed again. There was another sound, the sound of Ivanova sniggering.
Kosh watched them go and made a slow clicking thoughtful noise. "My way is not very sportsmanlike."
A long white beam came out of his helmet and surrounded one of the rocks. Slowly, it lifted off the ground and hovered over to him. He moved backwards with it to stand behind a large craggy heap of volcanic rock.
Marcus dashed into the scene. He hesitated near the boulder, and then shook his head cheerfully and continued forwards. A rock hovered into view and landed at his feet gently like a gift.
Marcus looked at it and raised an eyebrow. Carefully, he leant forwards and peered around the boulder. "Kosh? I mean... Fezzik? What are you doing back there?"
"I have always been here," Kosh said.
"Well that proves one thing," Marcus said. "You're not an impostor. Why are you levitating rocks to my feet?"
"I did that on purpose," Kosh said gravely. "I don't have to miss."
"I will pretend that I believe you." Marcus drew his sword and bowed. "So, what happens now?"
Kosh thought for a moment. "We shall face each other as God intended. No weapons. Skill against skill alone."
Marcus blinked, and then tried to hide a snigger. "You mean you'll put down your rock, and I'll put down my sword and we'll try to kill each other like civilized people? Are you sure you're a real Vorlon?"
"Yes."
"Not a squeaky puppet?"
"Yes."
"Because they had these puppet shows on Minbar, you know. And I never could tell the difference."
Kosh's mouth began to glow. "I could kill you now..."
Marcus shook his head and took off his sword belt, throwing both the belt and sword to the ground. "Frankly, I feel that the odds are slightly in my favour at hand fighting."
"Good." Kosh moved forwards smoothly.
Marcus went into a crouch. He paused for a second and then dashed forwards. His hands went out to grab for the Vorlon, but hit a barrier of air. Again he tried, and again. His hands seemed to be grappling for egg yolks in water. There was no purchase.
Kosh breathed heavily.
After a moment, Marcus looked at him, a hint of accusation in his face. "Look, are you just fiddling around with me, or what?"
"I just wish for you to feel that you are doing well," Kosh said. "I would hate for you to die embarrassed."
Marcus grimaced. "You know, I can't help feeling that this isn't quite fair. You have all those special Vorlon knick-knacks, and I'm not even allowed my sword."
Kosh almost seemed to smile. "You have arms."
"Gah!" Marcus reeled back a step. "Was that a joke? Did you just make a joke?" He passed a hand in front of his eyes. "Be still my beating heart."
"Yes." Kosh suddenly moved forwards. He streamed towards Marcus, glinting in the sun.
With a quick roll, Marcus slipped to the side and dodged around the Vorlon, appearing behind him.
"You are fast," Kosh turned.
Marcus nodded. "And a good thing, too."
"Who are you?" Kosh cocked his head to once side and began to levitate into the air. "Why do you wear a mask? Were you burned by acid when you were a child, or something of that sort?"
"Oh no," Marcus shifted uneasily, keeping his eyes on the Vorlon. "It's just that they're terribly comfortable. I think everyone will be wearing them in the future. In fact, I see that you already are wearing one. Welcome to the brotherhood. We'll send you your complimentary badge later on. Unless there isn't one, in which case you won't be getting..."
Kosh darted forwards, his head lowering to aim straight for Marcus's chest. Marcus dodged, but Kosh followed him. Marcus quickly rolled and grabbed one arm around the Vorlon's neck, leaping onto his back. Kosh flickered from side to side, trying to dislodge the ranger, but Marcus hung on grimly, one hand latched onto Kosh's head, the other hooked into a weird crevice in the encounter suit.
"I have calculated why you have been giving me so much trouble," Kosh said seriously, leveling out again.
"Why is that, do you think?"
"I have not fought one human for a long time. I have fought Shadows, and Darkness, and All Evil." Kosh backed Marcus into a boulder heavily.
Oof. The air was driven out of Marcus's lungs. "D'you think that makes a lot of difference? It couldn't be because you don't have any arms, could it?"
"No. I have no arms for a reason," Kosh shook his head. "They get in the way of the universe."
"Wonderful. Makes sense to me." Marcus pretended to be throttling the Vorlon. "I suppose a proper neck would be just as much of a barrier to the universe?"
"Yes."
"Kosh?"
"Yes?"
"You're meant to faint."
Kosh breathed heavily. And then he sank to the ground and toppled over. Marcus slipped off just in time and wiped a hand across his brow.
"I do not envy you the headache you will have when you wake," he said. "But, in the meantime, sleep well and dream of Universal Women."
"Women are a barrier to..."
"Quiet." Marcus began to leave, following the path that Morden had taken. "You have always been here. So shut up!" He was gone. There was just Kosh left...
breathing...
heavily.
"Cut." It was a whisper from Montana. A small, evil whisper. "Zhat iz a wrap. Mwahahahah!"
