Thank you for all the kind words. I really sound like an author? That's a huge compliment! And I almost let that comment get to me until I remembered that I'm writing this for me, because I love to write (though having support from others is nice, too ;)). I guess for this story, I was finding an outlet for all that built up tension in my head about what I was supposed to think after it happened and what I was thinking, and I'm finally figuring it out, using Clary as a little figurehead to walk through my brain and open locked doors. Again, thanks :)

On a lighter note, day-before-yesterday I swam with dolphins in North Carolina! Here's chapter number 9… Took me a little while, but I hope you'll enjoy it!

9

CPOV

Nothing.

I felt nothing. I saw nothing. I heard nothing. All I could feel was that hole in my chest growing deeper and deeper until I couldn't even feel that. I couldn't hear Jace, I couldn't see his warm smile, I couldn't feel his gentle touch on my arm, his loving embrace, his beautiful eyes finding my soul. Finally, I could see something, but it wasn't what I wanted to see. It was a memory. It was the day it happened. My mom and I were standing outside our broken down car.

This was worse than death.

JPOV (Jace)

"Clary, you'll be okay, I'll help," I promised her, fully knowing I couldn't do a thing now. All I could do was trust that Sebastian would help me beat the crap out of this Valentine guy.

"Mom, I told you I didn't want to go," she whispered softly, her hands balling up into tiny fists.

"Clary?" Was she even hearing me? I didn't know, she seemed to not even notice me holding her.

"I don't trust him," she said a little more loudly, looking angry.

"Clary, snap out of it," I tried to wake her out of the trance. I shook her gently, trying to make her see reality, and she opened her eyes. As soon as she saw me, she smiled a little. And then, as if nothing was wrong, she tightened the blankets around her and started walking out of the room. I caught up to her and stopped her, looking at her as if she was crazy. "What's going on?" I asked.

"I just need time to heal, Jace, that's all," she said, like everything was just dandy.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" I practically yelled at her. She was calm.

"Nothing," she replied. "I can't do anything about it, so I might as well get over it." And she started walking again. "Can you give me a ride to the studio?" I was still staring at her like a mental patient.

"Alright," I said, knowing I wasn't getting through to her. I'd talk to Sebastian and Jon later.

"That fucking son of a bitch," Jon said, his voice strained. He looked like he was ready to kill whoever spoke next, but I knew he'd need that anger if we were going to stop Valentine.

"We need a plan," I said to the both of them. Sebastian had met up with me and Jon at the bar. The only other person there at this hour was Kaelie, sweeping up and closing shop.

"I have his locations, all his known aids, his phone numbers, and multiple personas," Sebastian told me, sounding almost like he was struggling to talk straight. "Trust me, that bastard's getting put where he belongs."

"Hell?" Jon growled.

"How is she?" Sebastian asked me with sad eyes.

"She's acting fine, like nothing happened, covering it all up," I told them. "I just don't understand Clary sometimes."

"We need the only person who does," Jon said.

"Simon," we all thought aloud at the same time.

SPOV (Simon)

"He what?" I screamed. Everybody in the lobby of the apartment complex looked at me as if I was crazy. I didn't give a damn.

"She's closed it up and is acting like it's nothing," Jace explained.

"Typical Clary," I muttered. "She doesn't want to share it. She likes keeping things bottled up. She'll say all she needs is time to heal, but that just means the hole in her chest is getting deeper." They all stared at me oddly. "What? I've been her friend for a long time, we're so close we can watch Lifetime movies together and cry at the sappy ending!" I was too angry, so it didn't sound joking at all.

"What we need is a good strategy," Sebastian said. "I say we find him, question him, arrest him, and put him in a cell with some inmates the precinct pissed off."

"I say we beat the shit out of him," Jon angrily mused.

"How about instead, we approach him calmly, question him, arrest him, then beat the shit out of him?" I asked. Everybody looked at me again, but this time because I was a genius.

"It's a plan," Jace said. And for the first time in a long time, I saw that spark in his eyes, the dark kind, the kind that only happened when you truly loved someone or something enough to put them above yourself, not caring what happened to you as long as they're okay.

I'd felt the same way about her not too long ago.

I still did.

I wouldn't have noticed Kaelie walking by if she hadn't smiled lightly, as if she was thanking me. Something was wrong.

CPOV

I just needed time. That's it. Time.

He hurt me. He'd tried at first, but I'd struggled this time. So he'd done something much worse.

"Remember your mother?" he asked. I froze again. He smiled, feeling that same surge of control. "Yes, your mother. Did you hear about her death?" I was trying my hardest to be strong, and it was working.

"No," I whispered, glaring at him as he tried to rip off my clothes. I held them down for the most part, happy that I'd worn the hidden clasp bra today. One more struggle. I just hoped all my tricks wouldn't push him off the edge.

"And Lucian, Luke Graymark, what a nice guy," he mused with a laugh, making me slightly weaker. What had he done to Luke? He was my favorite 'uncle', and my mom's current boyfriend since my mom and dad divorced. "I heard he's gone insane, lives in an asylum now."

"You said you weren't going to hurt me," I said, slightly louder. A wicked smile crossed his lips, but I could only see it's outline with the light caught in the blackened windows.

"I'm simply telling you the truth," he whispered. "And you're still beautiful." Coming from his lips, it sounded like the worst kind of insult.

This verbal abuse went on for about an hour as he struggled to break me, and finally, I broke down, curling into a little ball and crying hard. He'd bitten me when I slapped him across the face and tried to kick free, and all the bruises on my body came from his constant pulling and gripping.

Hurt. That's what I felt, hurt. I couldn't describe it any other way, though it was so much deeper than that, so much more writhingly painful.

Jace. I needed Jace because he made me feel so good, like I was weightless, like I could just fly away and never come back.

Simon. I needed Simon because he knew me so well, I could talk to him about anything, do anything with him.

Jon. I needed Jon because he was always there for me, always my friend no matter what, always my big brother.

Even Sebastian. I needed Sebastian because he was wickedly a genius, always knew just what to say or do in any situation.

I needed all of them.

And time.

SPOV (Sebastian)

These guys were kind of idiots. I didn't want to say it, even though I was the one with the gun, but they really were. Jon wanted to do some sort of unplanned attack, Jace wasn't thinking straight, and Simon seemed to be the only one who was thinking reasonably. Well, him and me. I would never intentionally hurt Clary.

I went to rehab for a while, and it turned out that I had problems in my childhood with dependency on my mother, and Clary reminded me of her, so I felt dependent on her, and I thought I needed her (good thing that rehab was free, I'd never pay for someone to tell me I have dependency issues with the woman I love, er, loved).

Right now, we were at the old shipping depot downtown that was pretty much unused, since it was new and would only be opened next summer. And guess who wasn't there?

Valentine.

There was a note though.

Nice to see the children want to play, but I'll wait for the big kids.

Valentine

"Did he just call us fucking toddlers?" Jon asked angrily.

"Thank god toddlers don't curse like you," Simon rolled his eyes at Jon, who glared back.

"He's got a mouse in place among us," I suggested. Everybody looked at me for a moment.

"Anybody want to confess?" Jace asked. I just burst out into laughter, and I wasn't the only one. Simon and Jon joined me shortly. Jace cracked a smile, too.

As soon as it started, the fun was over, because we remembered Clary was suffering while we were laughing about it.

"Let's devise a game," I said wickedly, gesturing for them to walk with me.

I slid the note to Jon over the bar.

"That's where we'll be meeting to discuss the new plan," I said, not even making an attempt to disguise my voice. Jon nodded.

"Alright, I'll be sure to read it," he said back with a smile that said 'gotcha'. I nodded, leaving. Jace, Simon and I were at the door of the half full club, watching. Jon left the note on the counter and went to the cellar to get a 'new bottle'. Jace was filming on the flip-cam I borrowed from the station. He was on the note right now.

"And now we wait," I whispered.

After what seemed like half an hour, I noticed Kaelie's eyes flicker over to the note, and then, making sure Jon was out of sight, she snuck over to it and read it's content quickly, mouthing the words as if to memorize them. Jace's jaw had dropped, but he was still filming.

"She was at the park, too," Simon thought aloud, coming to a realization. "It's her!" he whisper-yelled.

"Only one way to find out," I said, pressing the 'stop' button on the camera. Jace nodded with a smile, looking to Simon, who sighed.

"The plans you make," he said with a shake of his head to me.

CPOV

I had to practice my Michael Jackson, so I was trying to get into character. I wore a fedora, one sparkly white glove, and fitted sparkly vest with comfy black slacks and a white t-shirt. I tied my hair into a bun, though it was huge and beach-babe curly.

Because I'm bad! I'm bad! You know it!

First I tried to moonwalk, which I was horrible at, in front of the studio mirror-wall. I laughed at myself even attempting that move. Then I met my eyes in the mirror. The music was blocked out. Slowly, carefully, I approached the unknown person staring at me.

"Who am I?" I'd asked Jace. Who was I?

"Who are you?" I whispered, touching her hand in the mirror. She seemed to glare back at me.

"You," she hissed back with a crooked smile showing her sharp, ragged teeth.

It's scary when you know the only thing to be afraid of is yourself.

"You're not me," I said, taking a step back. She stayed exactly where she was.

"Yes I am, I'm you, I know everything about you and everything you don't even know about yourself," she laughed coolly.

If I'd been scared before, I was dead-scared now.

"It's a pity you don't see he's deeply in love with you and always will be," she whispered slowly.

"I know Jace loves me," I said, confused now. She chuckled darkly.

"Not Jace," she said, looking beside her in the mirror. "You make him feel so good, like nothing else, and you could be his in seconds if he wanted, but he likes this little game." And instead of her, I saw someone else, somebody I wasn't ready to see… ever.

My shoe broke the mirror, shattered it into little tiny pieces, just like my fragile state. And for the first time, I really felt it. I felt the emotions I was supposed to feel, what all victims talk about, how weak they are and how they feel so useless, worthless. I felt it.

I didn't even feel the cuts.

Waking up in a hospital isn't the most fun thing to do, especially when four men are all arguing at the tiny table in the corner.

"No, it's not my fault, it's your fault!" Sebastian yelled at Jon.

"Well if you hadn't gotten yourself into this whole fucking mess, we'd be just fine!" Jon yelled back.

"Calm down, you two, it's nobody's fault!" Jace tried to reason.

"So you're saying it's your fault?" Simon angrily shouted at Jace. And then they were all just arguing over each other.

"Really, guys?" I rasped. They all turned to me.

"Clary!" Maybe I was imagining, but they all said my name at the same time. Jace ran up to me and kissed me lightly, but the feeling didn't leave. It was warm, beautiful, like a spring flower blossoming in what remained of my soul. Sebastian and Simon both looked kind of awkward in that scene, but still gave me smiles. Jon looked pissed off.

"Why the hell did you throw a shoe at a mirror?" he yelled.

"Because I thought I saw a spider!" I screamed back. Simon just wryly smiled. "I thought I saw something, not a spider, but… something."

"Or someone," Sebastian said with his arms crossed.

"Clary…" Simon drew out my name in a sort of scolding way. Jace looked down at his watch, then looked back up at the three of them.

"Guys, we have to be at… that place," he said softly. They all seemed to understand, but I was totally confused.

"Wait!" I exclaimed. They stopped. "Come here." They all crowded around the little hospital bed. I struggled to sit up, but when I did, I smiled at them. And then I attacked the four of them in a hug. "I love you guys so much, and I don't know where the hell you're all mysteriously going, but please be safe," I said, letting myself relax. I guess they were all surprised, because they were dead silent. I let go of them, and they were all differently expressing happiness.

"Bye, Clare," Sebastian whispered, gesturing for the rest to follow him out the door. And surprisingly, they did.

What did I just let them go into?

JPOV (Jon)

Okay, even though I hate the guy, I have to admit, Sebastian is a fucking genius. Seriously, like mad scientist awesome. I kinda see why Clary went for him… not really, though.

We were watching the empty room with a camera. It was an hour hours before the note said to meet. We'd been videotaping the entire room for about five hours, in case she came before. The door slowly opened. Wearing an all black diver-suit type outfit with a mask, Kaelie walked it. She put her glove on, carefully entering the room. The trap sprung, some tranquilizer darts in the side of the wall. I was watching the entire time, and I still had no idea how Sebastian installed those so seamlessly. She hit them all away before the needles reached her skin skillfully, like she'd been practicing fighting for years. I think all our mouths fell wide open when she did that. She took something out of the package on her belt, a little camera that looked pretty invisible since it was the size of a thumbtack. She attached it to the wall opposite our camera.

"Lock it?" Jace asked.

"Lock it," I nodded. Simon ran out down the hallway and locked the door, coming back and watching the camera. Kaelie tried the door. It was stuck. She tried it again, looking frustrated. She pulled and pulled, but it wasn't moving. She looked about ready to scream it down. That was our cue.

Jace, Simon, and I went to the room, unlocking it and walking in. Surprisingly, she was gone.

"So now that we're alone, how do we figure this out?" Simon asked.

"I think we should wait for Sebastian," I said, and Jace nodded in agreement.

"He'll know exactly what to do," Jace said. Sebastian walked in with a grin, locking the door then looking at us with an emotion I didn't know.

"Hey, thumbs up on getting here early," he said, stressing the word 'up'. We all looked up.

Kaelie jumped off the ceiling, ready to fight us. We were at the four points of the room, so she couldn't escape. After a little senseless fighting, she gave up.

"What do you want?" She screamed, still ready to fight.

"We could ask you the same thing, Kaelie," Sebastian spat at her.

And she took off her mask.

"You're… not…"

"No, I'm not," she said with a wicked smile.

Me: Cliffie again, sorry folks!

Jon: Man, I sweat a lot! … I like it.

Clary: Oh, reading that, I reallydo feel hurt!

Jace: I barely got anything in this chapter.

Me: Calm down, at least I gave you a part!

Sebastian: Mad genius, huh? Well if you liked me that much, we could just skip the games and go straight to…

Me: And that's a wrap! Hope you liked this chapter, love you all, MissMurderer7834 out!