Attachment
Author: Cigamina
Fandom: Shingeki no Kyojin
Protagonists: Irvin Smith x Levi, mentioning of other pairings
Part: 10/?
Warnings: violence , foul language
Rating: will be M
Disclaimer: Characters unfortunately aren't mine, therefore no money-making~ XDDD
Notes: Not too much yet, story starts a few years before the plot in the anime/manga evolves, in year 835.
Please forgive me for making so many mistakes, English is not my native language and I'm sure you will find plenty of mistakes in there!
Songs I listened to while writing the story:
Avicii – Addicted to you
Daniel Portman - Galvanized
Notes²: I want to thank all people who write me comments and just everybody who reads this story! I really appreciate that and I'm happy about the attention this story is getting! I love you all!
There's a lot more coming up, I'll do my best to update as fast as I can!
Be patient with those two! They still have a veeeeery long way to go! XDDDD
Attachment– Chapter 10
"I fucking lost the little shit."
"At least he didn't kill you, Alex. I told you to not underestimate him, he's not some scrawny lad even though he appears to be one."
"Scrawny, my ass. He put up one hell of a fight - and I've never seen anybody move like that, he was more like an acrobat than some bedraggled kid. We shouldn't send single men after him, not even skilled ones."
"The last four didn't make it, either."
"We need to send whole armies, then, we'll never get him otherwise."
"Do you have any idea where he went?"
"Of course not, I wouldn't be here if that was the case."
"So we basically start over searching him, again."
"Yeah… but at least I know that he's really got it."
"…and you only mention that now? How do you know?"
"Because I saw him retrieve it, he apparently hid it in the top of a tree for all these years."
"Praise the walls, that's finally good news. I'll determine our men to intensify their search. Where did you spot him today?"
"The shack. He wandered around the slums today so I'd say they should check all the places we suspect to be regular returning-points. And they might need to prepare for a new appearance, he wore new clothes today - and looked fairly well-kept."
"Maybe he's found himself a rich lady or lord to take care of him."
"We should try to find out what happened."
"Yes. After that I'm sure we're very close to catching him."
Leaning back against the wall he tilted his head to look out of the window, not really watching anything in particular but feeling calmer doing so. He still had the blanket wrapped around his shoulders, minding Irvin's advice of keeping them warm. He had cumbersomely wrapped the blue scarf around his neck, too, before he had sat down at Irvin's desk to work in the book the man had given to him.
That had been hours ago - and he felt exhausted and drained from writing letters and pronouncing them and the words on the exercise-pages into the silence of Irvin's office. Knowing he would never find the peace and calm to take a nap he had moved to sit on the broad window sill and curled up there, feeling best when keeping an eye on the things happening outside. It wasn't dark outside yet but he wouldn't light any torches, avoiding to be visible against the light. Hiding and not being seen by anybody seemed like the best thing to do, along with leaving the door to Irvin's bedroom wide open so nobody would be able to sneak in without him hearing it. He had locked the bathroom door, though.
His eye lids felt heavy; he had really contemplated trying to take a nap - but it just seemed impossible, even though he was really craving some rest. Sleep had been scarce the previous night and knowing that Irvin would return at some point during the night would probably make him sleepless until that happened, starting up at every little sound.
But considering everything that had happened that morning, even if he ignored the fact that he would probably never find rest in a bed and that climbing the wardrobe was something he would just do once that night, considering the strain it would cause his shoulders, falling asleep was entirely out of the picture - his senses were still too alert and his paranoia fuelling his restlessness even more.
He cursed the bastard who had chased him, and Irvin for preventing him to kill him when he had had the chance, but his thoughts went further than that. While he had flipped Irvin off when the man had tried to pry deeper into the whole thing Levi did indeed think about it, cudgeling his brain about possible deeds he had committed that could have provoked somebody's wrath. He hadn't done anything on purpose… usually he just stole food and given the fact that there never were witnesses he didn't think it was that. He sometimes ended up killing somebody who HAD seen him, that was rather something somebody could seek revenge for. But… this man hadn't been just any civilian. The way he had fought and chased him through the difficult layout of the city labeled him professional - and the sentence 'We finally meet at last.' showed Levi that he had been systematically targeted. This worried him by far the most. He had no idea how this man even knew of his mere existence, and 'at last' insinuated that he had been… searching for him?
Trying to shake the uneasy feeling off he huddled even closer to the wall, feeling for the knife that he had placed next to him. As daft as it sounded, he was probably safest here. He didn't think that the man had even seen Irvin accompany him, the distance between them had already been too large - if that was the case the man would most likely never assume that Levi, hateful of the Military Police and about everybody else who wore this uniform, was right in the middle of a soldier's nest. And the place was guarded by the Scouting Legion, he didn't put it past Irvin to have alerted his men for potential foreign people trying to sneak in when he had left. Nobody would come to search for him here, he was very sure of that. And tomorrow they would leave the city, going to the Scouting Legion's headquarters who-knew-where - which would make him disappear from the map completely. He would just avoid going anywhere until then (Vera's shop would probably be the only exception) and tomorrow afternoon he would be rid of anything that had ever happened in this goddamn city.
Shivering slightly he huddled closer to the wall, pulling the blanket tighter around his shoulders (which at least didn't hurt anymore, the painkiller (he had taken a second one half an hour ago) was doing its work). In moments like this one, when he was stressed out or agitated or waking up from a nightmare he missed Johann's gentle hands stroking his hair and back soothingly, his warm body to snuggle up against. While he probably wouldn't do the latter anymore it had been the best thing to do when he had been little, letting the man's warmth and presence calm him down.
Stroking his hair and back apparently still did the trick, though, a little voice inside of his head kindly reminded him.
Levi groaned and dipped his head back until it hit the wall, turning it to the side to glare at the vacant desk of Irvin Smith.
It was bad enough that his body reacted the way it did, calming down beneath gentle hands touching him soothingly even though those hands belonged to Irvin fucking Smith, the Scouting Legion's corporal, but he found said man's picking up on his reaction way worse.
He didn't fail to notice that the touching in general became more frequent. While Irvin had still carefully avoided inflicting touch on Levi at all a few days ago he had gotten used to doing it regularly - and Levi couldn't bring himself to care. The man wasn't doing anything strange to alert him, he didn't even startle him because he somehow always let Levi know that he was putting his hand somewhere on his body. He touched him casually, which was probably something other people didn't even think twice about, but Levi registered every single little touch immediately. Because he just wasn't used to it. He had isolated himself from other people and their physical closeness for years, never daring to let anybody near him because he couldn't trust anyone. He had spent years building walls - and Irvin had breached them, in a subtle, gentle, steadily pushing way that Levi hadn't really noticed until he was in.
Irvin was a physical person, Levi could tell. While Levi was thinking about every movement twice, knowing that staying as low-key as possible was the best way to survive, Irvin moved around with a self-confidence that was expressed through every gesture, every smile. They walked on common ground in not caring about what other people thought about them but they were going about things quite differently. Maybe his being grabby had come with his profession - Levi just hoped that he never required other people's touch because he had to be rescued or patched-up. At least if the person inflicting touch on him was not Irvin. Because he minded his touch less.
Pulling his legs in to cross them he sighed, wishing he could just take a little nap. Spending the day here would be so boring… he hoped that Irvin wouldn't be back too late.
"Such a fine young man, I'm confident that he'll be an enrichment to the upper management of the Recon Corps."
Irvin smiled at the lady and bowed his head while Dallis Zacklay gave him a pat on the back, rasping out a laugh.
"I'm sure he will be, that's why I picked him." , he said, nodding at Irvin who gave him a smile before turning his attention back to the lady he had just been introduced to. The lady in her cantilevered dress smiled at him and then seemed to spot another somebody she wanted to meet, making her drop a curtsey.
"It was a pleasure meeting you, Irvin Smith. I wish you the best of luck. Dallis." They both bowed to her, assuring her that the pleasure was purely theirs and stood straight when she passed them, Irvin giving his salute. He dared relaxing a little after that as there didn't seem to be another person waiting to meet him. Well, none of them had exactly been waiting – Dallis Zacklay had brought Irvin to the people he wanted him to meet. People were in general hesitant about talking to soldiers bearing the wings of freedom on their jackets. And if they did they were very serious and the soldier had to smile first, otherwise they wouldn't dare smile.
Irvin turned to look at his commander and the man nodded at him, he seemed to be pleased.
"Very well, Irvin, I think you met most of them. And they seem to be very fond of you - I knew they would be smitten with your charms."
Irvin, although believing this to be an exaggeration, smiled and bowed to his commander briefly, making the older man shake off the formal gesture. "Nah. I think it's time for you to enjoy yourself. Have a look around, have something off the buffet and have a good time. I bet you'll find a few old comrades here - and I'm sure there is more than one lady yearning for a dance with you." The man winked at him and then excused himself, walking over to a group of men who he seemed to know, according to the way they greeted each other.
Irvin sighed silently, taking a small sip from the glass that had practically been forced into his hand when they had arrived at the function; it contained some pale golden liquid that had turned out to be sparkling wine and Irvin had used it to toast some people. He didn't like the alcoholic drink but there had been no way around taking at least one glass. It was half-empty by now and the sparkling was mostly gone, rendering the liquid even more undrinkable- Irvin would need to find a place where he could dispose of the glass discreetly.
Looking around the large room he watched the present people briefly, finding it interesting. They could be divided into two groups, the ones wearing festive clothes and the rest wearing uniforms. There were some Stationary Guards present but most uniforms were sporting the unicorn of the Military Police - Dallis Zacklay and Irvin himself were the only ones of the Scouting Legion.
People were mingling, though, uniformed people were talking to the ones in the festive clothes - maybe this was what the whole evening was about, exchanging thoughts and attitudes and opinions about a wide range of topics. In addition to the standard 'see and be seen' that was so highly esteemed in those societies.
Irvin sighed again, he hoped Dallis soon grew tired and announced their going home - he wasn't too fond of such functions, had never been. Even less when such functions forced him to leave his sister earlier than he would have wanted to. Of course Bethy had been insightful and the time that they had spent together was to be treasured but Irvin still mourned the lost time. He knew it was important to meet people, getting to know influential people - but he still wasn't too happy about being there.
Still, there was no helping it - this would be the way to spend the evening. So he could as well enjoy it as much as he could, he reasoned with himself. And took a deep breath and straightened his shoulder a second later, turning around to walk around the room on his own for a while.
He really did run into a few people he knew among the soldiers. As he had grown up here in Hermiha he had gone to the nearest training camp when signing up for military training - quite a few Hermiha-boys had done the same. They had been aged quite differently as the military accepted children aged 12 and older for the training. Irvin, having been aged 15 when joining the forces, had been one of the older boys in his trainee squad. He had still finished his training with top grades, first of his squad. Everybody had urged him to join the Military Police - people knowing him were not at all surprised when he had declared to join the Scouting Legion, though. It had been his will all along - good grades, the perspective of security and wealth and the sweet-talking and attempts of persuading him by his superiors, his father and comrades hadn't shaken his conviction in the slightest. Many of his comrades had joined the Stationary Guards, the most common branch the military offered - most of the other tops of the class had joined the Military Police without hesitation. Only barely two dozen had joined the Scouting Legion. Irvin was one of four who were still alive.
He stayed around to chat with a few acquaintances and when he was weary of the excited giggling behind fans wafting over from a group of young woman in festive robes he went over to them and asked one or two for a dance (they were pretty, admittedly). He also had fun doing that, admittedly.
And so the evening went on, even though disliking such events Irvin had always been able to blend in, getting into conversations easily and usually being quite charming.
A few hours into the evening he was about to walk over to the buffet, just to see what they were serving (his sister had stuffed him with food earlier so he really wasn't hungry), when he was addressed by a familiar voice. He recognized him immediately even though he hadn't seen the man speaking in quite a while.
"Well well, if this isn't corporal Irvin Smith."
A small, careful smile making its way to his face he turned towards the man walking up to him, taking in the familiar sight. Somehow he didn't really look much different from the last time he had seen him; his features sharp and his chin still very pointy, the dark hair untidy. Irvin did notice, with a smile, that he still hadn't grown that atrocious little beard back.
"Nile... it's good to see you."
The shorter man walked up to him, carrying two glasses in his hands and Irvin had to bite back a sigh when he recognized the red colour of the drink; Nile was without any doubt bringing over that heavy kind of red wine that the Stationary guards and Military policemen seemed to be so fond of. The man was not returning his smile, narrow greyish eyes fixed on Irvin - eyes that, to his own mild bewilderment because they didn't look anything alike, made him think of Levi's briefly.
Irvin smiled when Nile stopped in front of him, the man looking up at Irvin. And for a few long moments they just stood in awkward silence, Nile watching his taller counterpart with slightly narrowed eyes - until a gruff smile made his way onto his face. "It's good to see you, too." His eyes looked Irvin up and down and he slightly shook his head. "Somehow you haven't changed a bit."
The chuckle erupting Irvin's chest sounded as relieved as he truly felt - he had imagined their first meeting after all that time to be more awkward. And he was really glad that he had been wrong.
"You look old, though." Apprehending their awkward meeting for quite some time hadn't lessened his daring to make a smart remark at all, though. A smart remark that made Nile pause, his eyes narrowing considerably, and Irvin waved him off with another smile. "I'm dallying." He was sure Nile knew - they had known each other for ages, after all.
Nile raised his eyebrows and then jerked his head into the direction of a double-winged door which would, Irvin assumed, lead out onto a balcony, and he nodded before following Nile over to the doors. He was sure that they had quite a few things to tell each other and doing that required some privacy. Given the cold of late October Irvin highly doubted people's desire to spent time on the balcony when there was warmth and music and food inside.
He was right. When he opened the doors and stepped onto the balcony, holding one of the doors open for Nile before closing it behind them, they found the balcony deserted. Perfect, Irvin thought to himself when he followed Nile over to the balustrade and sighed at the quiet of the night. The music was muted down by the closed doors and he was thankful for the escape Nile had provided him. He turned to his former comrade and frowned slightly when Nile handed him one of the glasses. Inclining his head he placed his hand on the balustrade while hooking the other thumb into the hip belt of his uniform.
"Thank you, but I'm still not fond of wine."
Nile rolled his eyes and set the second glass down on the balustrade.
"Come on, Irvin, unwind a little once in a while."
Irvin raised his eyebrows and eyed the glass in a most uninspired way before shifting his gaze back to Nile.
"You know I try avoiding it as much as possible. The drinking, that is."
The man rolled his eyes again and pushed the tall glass towards Irvin's hand, nudging it against his fingers.
"You avoid unwinding, too. Come on, pretty boy, just one glass. It's not going to make you drunk. You did eat, right? Just drink, it's good against the cold, too."
Irvin's eyebrows wandered towards his neat hairline again when he heard the nickname that he hadn't been called in ages - and even though it was neither appropriate nor a name he particularly liked he smiled a little and wrapped his fingers around the stem of the glass, pulling it towards him with his own slight rolling of his eyes.
"Fine, this one glass. You will shut up then, won't you?"
The man grinned and nodded, raising his glass in expectation. Irvin sighed and clinked glasses with Nile before taking a little sip of the red wine. It wasn't that bad, he just didn't like what the beverage could do if consumed irresponsibly.
They fell silent again, Nile taking sips of his wine while Irvin mostly swirled the dark red liquid around in the expensive glass. The silence was a comfortable one, unexpectedly so. Irvin had been sure that their first encounter after their intense parting would be very uncomfortable. Yet he felt the need to break the silence, feeling entitled to start their conversation.
"I heard you've been promoted. It's lieutenant Dawk now, isn't it? Congratulations."
The black-haired man smiled and inclined his head, a gesture of acceptance of Irvin's congratulation, before taking another sip of his wine.
"Thank you. Yeah, it's been a few months now and I'm kind of proud…" His eyes briefly fixed the badge on Irvin's chest, the one that he only wore because of the formal occasion of the function, before looking up into his face again. "But who am I talking to, corporal Smith. That's a huge step; I didn't think you'd live long enough to be promoted again."
Irvin's slight smile didn't falter in the slightest upon the last few words even though he did pick up on the testy undertone vibrating in them. He bit back a sigh when he leaned his hip against the banister, getting himself into a more comfortable position.
"Bad grass never dies, Nile. But thank you."
The man snorted and shook his head, taking another sip from his glass and Irvin did the same before addressing the black-haired man again, the wine's heavy flavor lingering on his tongue.
"I take it you're still stationed here?"
He saw the little flash in the lieutenant's greyish eyes, giving away his annoyance about Irvin navigating the topic of their conversation elsewhere, but it disappeared just as quickly as it had come - and Nile just answered him, apparently not bothered in the slightest.
"Yes, it's convenient. I've been away from my people long enough."
Irvin nodded to that and lowered his gaze to his glass, swirling the deep red liquid around. Nile had indeed been away from their hometown for a while after his military training - he had joined the Scouting Legion with Mike and Irvin when they had graduated.
He took a sip of his wine and smiled slightly when he looked back up at Nile.
"You've always been the family-type."
The black-haired man snorted again and nodded gruffly. Oh yes, family, stability, domesticity had always been important to Nile, even when they had still been kids.
Nile had left the recon corps after their first expedition outside the walls - Irvin hadn't been surprised at all. Nile had never been right there; not because he lacked strength or courage, no. Simply because he wasn't ready to give his everything to the corps.
"And you certainly have never been."
Irvin chuckled upon hearing that. While Irvin would have more than gladly volunteered to stay at the trainee camp for the Wall-festivities and new year's holidays Nile had always gladly gone back to Hermiha to spend his free time with his parents and his siblings. Granted, he didn't have a father who didn't approve of his decision to decline further academic studies in favor of becoming a soldier at all.
"No. My conviction is stronger than the need for stability."
Nile looked up at him on that, snorting for the third time and his eyes narrowing just the slightest bit - but it was enough to let Irvin know what he was referring to when he said: "Yeah, I know about that one."
Yeah, Nile was definitely still processing the whole thing.
"I'm sorry.", Irvin said, and he left it up to Nile to decide what he took the apology for - Nile might feel that Irvin owed him an apology for a lot of things.
Nile looked at him for a while, eyebrows arched, until he shook his head lightly and took another sip of his wine.
"You should be."
Irvin lifted his glass to his lips as well to play over the brief second of surprise. Oh? He hadn't expected that - because it sounded like Nile didn't necessarily want to resume the conversation on that topic any longer. The last time they had 'discussed' the sensitive topic he had refused to let go of it, starting over and over again.
Momentarily lost in his thoughts he also hadn't expected Nile to step closer, lean in and to feel the man's familiar lips brush against his own the very next second. It only lasted another second and then Nile stepped back, keeping their perfectly appropriate distance once again. Irvin stared at him and felt a light frown push its way onto his face before his eyes glanced over to the double winged door, half expecting somebody to watch them - but there wasn't anybody. Nile turned to face the garden, propping himself up on his elbows and holding the upper part of the tall glass loose in his fingers.
"Don't worry, no one can see us from inside. You could receive a blow job right here and nobody would notice if they aren't walking right in on you."
Irvin's brows wandered towards his hairline and he shook his head, sipping his wine.
"I'd rather not try it."
The black-haired man snorted and he saw him roll his eyes before the lieutenant emptied his glass.
"I wasn't offering, Irvin."
"Good." He couldn't help but finding that very relieving. Because the thought of Nile still considering giving him a blow job an option was unsettling.
Nile didn't seem to want to press the subject any further so Irvin decided to go along with it, directing the conversation away from this again. He turned the other way, leaning back against the balustrade and facing the building they had been in before.
"So, how are things here in Hermiha? I hope everything is going well?", he said, raising the still half full glass to his lips.
Nile placed his own glass aside, looked back at the building as if contemplating getting a refill but decided to stay where he was. He sighed and leaned on his arms, looking into the dark garden underneath them.
"Not really, to be honest."
Irvin turned his head into the other man's direction and arched his eyebrows, looking at his former comrade curiously.
"What's happening?"
Nile sighed again and turned his head as well, his narrow eyes fixated on Irvin.
"We're having severe problems with the Black Rose."
That made Irvin frown - because he really hadn't expected that.
"Why? And how?", he asked, tilting his head to the side in question. The Black Rose wasn't an organization to have problems with. They were a guild of merchants, selling food and other materials to the cities because they were a confraternity of people owning land. In order to not ruin each others prices they had decided to work together and hand in hand with the government - having problems with the people supplying you with food and resources was very bad.
Nile's lips tightened and he reached for the glass, wiping away a stain on the plinth with his thumb.
"I don't know if you've heard about the murdering criminal that we've been searching for for a while?"
Irvin thanked whoever there was to accept his gratefulness for his ability to keep his facial expression under control even in a situation of unpleasant surprise. He really, really hadn't expected this topic to come up - which might have been foolish, Levi had recently killed four people in one night and of course that was keeping the Military Police busy. But he didn't see the connection between the Black Rose and Levi at all so he wondered why Nile was bringing it up. He was sure the black-haired lieutenant would elaborate gladly - and Irvin would have to keep his guards up. He knew things that Nile was probably dying to know, he had to be careful.
His frown deepened, a natural reaction to his confusion.
"Yes, somebody mentioned it when we moved into the spare quarter." He would stick exactly to what happened - minus the fact that he had witnessed Levi kill people and had then decided to offer the brusque stray a place to stay.
Nile nodded and when he glanced back to the building again, clearly contemplating getting them more wine, Irvin just offered his tall glass to the shorter man. He wasn't going to drink up - he couldn't risk saying anything that would sound suspicious. And it was a well-known fact that wine loosened your tongue.
Nile frowned at him but then shrugged, accepting the glass from Irvin's hands and taking a little sip before continuing.
"This son of a bitch seems to be having issues with the Black Rose."
His repeated frowning was very genuine because he really didn't understand what Nile was talking about. Levi having a problem with the Black Rose? That… didn't make sense. Why would Levi even care? As far as Irvin knew (and Levi had consolidated his conception of the situation when they had hidden behind that stack of rubble this very morning) the boy had killed in order to evade starvation and defend himself - why would the Black Rose even be of interest to him?
"What makes you think that?", he asked, consciously not appearing even half as curious as he really was.
The Military Police lieutenant frowned into the dark garden angrily, obviously bearing the clever thief he'd been chasing with his comrades a huge grudge. Irvin couldn't blame him, he imagined it to be very frustrating.
"Because the last 7 victims all bore their mark. Really, we don't know anything about him. He's like a phantom, never leaving traces or witnesses. We always thought that he just killed witnesses of his crimes - but seeing that the last murdered people were all having their mark we start rethinking his profile."
Irvin listened closely, his face carefully guarded because, after he had already been surprised, he expected to hear more things that were new to him. Not necessarily because Levi had lied to him or because he was lacking information, no. Somebody else telling the same story always cast a different light on a situation - but, admittedly, the things Nile told him surprised him. Levi… specifically killing people bearing the Black Rose's mark…? If there had been one person bearing the brand of a black rose's outlines on their lower arm it might have been coincidence. But seven in a row…? Irvin dared exclude coincidence because it was highly improbable. Hadn't Levi told him this very morning that he didn't have old accounts? No people seeking revenge or that he had dirty business with? Irvin had believed him, he still did - but he wasn't able to fit the newest pieces of information in the picture he was slowly drawing of Levi. He either had 1) lied to Irvin and tricked him successfully - or he 2) simply wasn't the person Nile was talking about. Irvin had never really had it confirmed, after all, he was merely strongly suspecting that Levi was the thief/killer they were searching for. Or… there was 3) another very coherent explanation that he just didn't see yet. Whatever it was Irvin would have to find out - and he would start with getting all the information he could out of Nile without being suspicious.
He placed his palms on the balustrade and pushed himself off the ground, hopping onto the balustrade to sit on it because he was tired of standing. His attention never shifted off Nile, though, and he didn't lose time to continue their conversation.
"He's already killed seven people?", he asked even though, if Levi really was the person they were talking about, he knew that he might have killed many more.
Nile looked at him and snorted, taking a good sip of the wine as though he needed the alcohol in that moment.
"He's killed more than that, Irvin. The last time he killed four at once."
Inwardly Irvin cursed - because Nile had just confirmed that they were really searching for Levi. Possibility 2) seemed to just have been excluded.
Irvin nodded slowly and looked at Nile with raised eyebrows.
"Sounds like a terrifyingly strong and skilled fighter to me.", he said, lulling Nile into the conversation by showing empathy. He was highly rational, though, going through possibilities in his head and making sure that he was looking at every little detail.
The black-haired lieutenant made a disapproving sound and crossed his legs at his ankles, shifting his weight to his left leg.
"Yeah. And it's not only that, he's clever. He is said to be able to pick about every lock, he's strong, silent, merciless. The perfect killer… I'm really uneasy about him being out there. You never know when he'll strike again, there is no pattern. Maybe he kills for money, we know nothing about his motives."
Irvin processed the information, feeling the need to confirm a few things before allowing himself to judge the situation. This… didn't sound like Levi at all. He was far from claiming to know the dark-haired boy - but something in him told him that this was not at all corresponding to what he knew.
Addressing Nile again he made the resolution that he wouldn't judge anything until he hadn't talked to Levi in person about this.
"How do you know it's always the same killer?"
Nile looked at him and cocked his head to the side, smiling just a little bit - Irvin caught the haughty edge even though Nile tried his best to hide it.
"Because we compared the wounds and the way all these people were killed and can tell that it's exactly the same. He uses a rather short but very sharp knife - the angle of his stabs tell us that he's short but strong. Mostly his victims put up a fight. Irvin, drinking wine and playing cards is not ALL the Military Police does."
A group of people inside the building chose this moment to cheer drunkenly at something and Irvin grinned a little lopsidedly, extending a hand to pat Nile's shoulder.
"Maybe it's not what ALL officers do."
Nile shrugged him off and grimaced, shaking his head a little before almost entirely draining the glass he was still holding.
"Many may be rotten but there are still people doing their job. We're going to get this bastard and make this city safer once again."
Irvin smiled at him and hopped off the balustrade, leaning in and kissing Nile on the cheek briefly before looking at him.
"Just never lose your obstinacy, Nile.", he said, finding his old comrade's enthusiasm, in a way, endearing. Nile wasn't a bad person - their opinions about and attitude towards things were just not compatible.
He could see the hint of a blush on the man's cheeks and he used his being flustered to change the topic again - he had heard all he needed from Nile. Which made Irvin direct the conversation far away from Levi - and he knew Nile well enough to be able to do that thoroughly.
"So how is Mary?"
The way Nile's face contorted from his awkwardness at having been kissed by Irvin to his great confusion about being asked about Mary was amusing to watch - one of their former comrades had told Irvin that Nile was apparently in contact with the pretty girl. Which Irvin was very happy to hear - despite his history with the blond daughter of a well-known baker he'd highly approve of Nile seeing her.
Nile went right back to blushing when he conquered his confusion and he looked away, drinking up the last remaining bit of wine from Irvin's glass.
"She's fine I guess…? How would I… why do you ask?"
Irvin smiled and put his hand on Nile's shoulder again, squeezing gently.
"You should ask her out, Nile. I know you've always liked her. And she really is a great girl."
Oh yes, Mary was great… so pretty and sweet and endearing that Irvin had asked her out a few times when he and Nile had still been in training. He had been experimenting a lot in the past and Mary as well as Nile had been part of that - but in the end he had decided that his conviction wouldn't allow him to indulge in romance. So he had cut himself free. And it was time for them to do the same - especially Nile.
The black-haired lieutenant stared at him and Irvin wondered if he was more taken aback by his encouraging Nile to go after somebody who wasn't Irvin or the idea of him dating Mary of all people. Nile cleared his throat and avoided looking at Irvin when he spoke up.
"You… wouldn't mind…?"
Irvin wondered again what the question really was, him minding Nile seeing somebody who wasn't Irvin or him minding Nile seeing Mary because she had been Irvin's girlfriend in the past - and he decided that it didn't really matter. It wasn't his place to ask or to know, he had left both of them - he just wanted them to know that they could do whatever they wanted.
"Not at all, Nile."
The man pressed his lips into a thin line for a moment but then he nodded - and Irvin smiled.
A rather chilly breeze sweeping through the garden made Irvin shiver and he rubbed his hands together in order to warm them up a little before gathering up the empty glass that had been Nile's and motioned towards the double winged door.
"Shall we go back inside? It's getting cold."
Nile nodded gruffly and they made their way back into the ballroom, the warmth they were diving into extreme after the time spent outside in the cold.
They didn't seem to have missed a lot - Irvin just got the impression that the attendants of the function had indulged in the dark red wine a lot more since they had left the room. The atmosphere was less uptight - and Irvin felt the strong urge to just go back to the headquarters. Such parties were bad enough when the attendants were sober and it only got worse with the increasing consume of alcohol.
He was already looking around the room to find his commander when a voice that he deemed familiar addressed them both and he turned to see who it was.
"Is that really Smith, Nile?"
Irvin needed a moment to remember the man's name but he surely recognized him. He had been one of the tops of their class, too – he must have been, he was wearing the green unicorn of the Military Police on his uniform. His name was Dalf and they had often studied together when they had been in Military training. Irvin watched the red-haired man approach them and couldn't suppress thinking that while he still disliked functions, this one made him see a few old comrades and that was a nice thing.
"It's good to see you, Dalf. It's been years.", he greeted him, smiling when the other man stopped in front of Nile and him to meet his slightly weary expression. Another one of the people who didn't really know how to act around him, if smiling was even appropriate or too much joy in the face of a person who saw and escaped death.
The red-haired man slowly returned the smile and hesitantly raised his free hand (of course he was holding a glass in the other) to pat Irvin on the back, growing more confident with every passing second.
"It's great to see you, too, Irvin. Corporal Smith? I've heard about it, congratulations – I guess?", he said, frowning a little at his last words. Irvin chuckled and nodded, momentarily being distracted by the sight of Dallis Zacklay greeting the Military Police commander, Jarvis Aschner, behind Dalf's back before turning his attention back to the man.
"Yes, it's an honour to be entrusted with this position." Being his commander's corporal basically made him second in command, he was in charge of the soldiers in battle – in the end he was the executive of the commander's decisions. It was a big responsibility for him and he would do everything in his power to be worthy of the trust he was receiving.
The red-haired man nodded insightfully and then shook his head, giving Irvin another pat on the back. "I'll probably never get your devotion but it's an admirable quality." He smiled and then gestured over to the sitting area where another few Military policemen were sitting and talking (and drinking) – Irvin was rather sure that they had been the ones cheering earlier when he had been outside on the balcony with Nile. "Let's sit down and have a drink. God knows when we'll have another chance to drink together?" His eyes swept Irvin briefly before settling back on Nile and Irvin was just about to tell him how he still didn't like to indulge in wine when Dalf looked at him with an expression that was half a smile and half a frown.
"Come in, Irvin. Just a glass or two, for the sake of good old times. I'm sure we have some stories to tell to each other."
That was very likely to be true. Irvin hesitated a moment but then gave in, sighing and then jerking his head towards the sitting area.
"Fine. But I'm sure you won't like most of the stories that I have in store.", he said. It was a fair warning, people mostly disliked to hear about adventures outside the walls because it made them remember that the titans and the terror evaporating off them were really there, right on the other side of the wall.
Dalf grimaced but then lead Nile and Irvin over to the other Military Police officers, looking at Irvin over his shoulder. "You could tell us about funny things. I'm sure funny things even happen in the Scouting Legion's headquarters!"
Laughing at that Irvin nodded and then sat down on a couch next to Nile, accepting the glass that was held out to him immediately. Sighing inwardly he swore to himself that he would just have a glass and then go home, he had to get up early tomorrow morning because they had to get Levi's clothes before they left for their headquarters. So getting seriously drunk just wasn't an option and even though the Military Policemen would make it hard for him he would leave in a little while.
They were making it very hard for him, indeed. The longer Irvin sat with his former comrades (another two of his trainee squad's top ten had joined them because they had ended up being stationed in Hermiha) the more he relaxed around them. The topic of the criminal the Mps were searching for hadn't resurfaced so he had sipped his glass of wine feeling safe doing so. Of course they had tried refilling his glass once it had been empty and he had managed to turn down the first few attempts. But when they were getting caught up in memories of their time in the trainee camp and more stories were told he didn't fend them off any longer, he had another glass – and then another.
He had no idea how long they had been sitting there, it could have been half an hour as well as three, but after a while he felt the alcohol's effects. His extremities were tingling and pleasant warmth had spread through his body. When being drunk Irvin's didn't get more vocal or started cheering, he rather went quiet and thoughts that were too complicated to be grasped in his drunken state clogged his mind. He was aware of Nile's thigh touching his own but he couldn't find it in himself to move his leg, he felt too heavy and lazy.
It was when he was listening to Patrick tell another story that their attention was drawn to loud noises coming from outside the ball room which Irvin vaguely recognized as agitated voices and screams when he concentrated on that for a few seconds. Slowly more and more heads turned towards the door and when it was suddenly flung open it got everybody's attention.
A flock of people tumbled into the room, some of them wearing the Military Police's uniform while the others seemed to be civilians from the slums, judging from their dirty and tattered clothes. Their increased proximity had increased the volume of the voices and screams and Irvin just needed a few second to realize that the Military Police tried to push back the civilians who were infiltrating these premises without invitation.
"You pigs have a fat feast while people starve on the streets!", one of the men screamed before a Military Police officer gutted him with his knee, making the man sink to the floor with a gurgling noise.
The party recoiled from the display of desperation and violence, some woman cried and covered their mouths with their hands to hide their fear/disgust/pity, whatever it was they were feeling. Some of the present Military Police functionaries hurried to help the officers with quieting the furious mob and taking them back outside while Irvin was really tempted to do the exact opposite. Those people were right. The upper class of this country didn't care at all about what was happening to the poorer people. As long as they got their wine and food and all luxuries available things were fine to them – while the people working for them and the unemployed, homeless people stole food from each other to survive. And when they tried protesting against the treatment they were beaten up and hushed down to keep more people from protesting. Because the upper class was completely fine the way they were, holding on to their haughty conviction that the walls would provide them with safety and the working class with food forever.
It made Irvin angry, their ignorance towards what was happening around them – and when a little child who ran towards the rich buffet to reach for a little loaf of bread was being hit by a Military Police officer Irvin didn't hesitate but got up, took two (admittedly fairly clumsy) steps towards that soldier and grabbed his wrist before he could hit the little girl again. The officer turned towards him and Irvin expected to be attacked, preparing to defend himself when a loud voice boomed through the room and got all of their attention.
"Enough of this! Get this dirty pack out of here immediately!"
Jarvis Aschner's voice had his men moving, without exception, and it was only a matter of minutes that the civilians had been removed from the room, threatened with rifles or carried or jostled outside. Irvin stared at the tall man with the sparse graying hair, trying to swallow the anger that was coiling in him. Because it was so wrong. All of this was so wrong, the existence of a Military Police was so wrong – they should be out there, helping people, doing SOMETHING instead of being here and drinking.
The Military Police's commander looked around the room where the nobles were talking to each other agitatedly, whispering or speaking with hushed voices but they seemed to relax now that the 'threat' had been removed. He glared and then shook his head, taking a huge sip from the glass in his hands that he hadn't even put aside during the unforeseen occurrence.
"How dare they? These dirty waster of space and food, thieves and criminals they all are. More of them should starve, that would spare us so much hassle. These fucking-", he started again but was interrupted when Dallis Zacklay grabbed his arm and pulled him away, giving the man and then the people watching a strained smile. "Everybody calm down, all is well. Come on, Jarvis.", he said and then proceeded to lead the still sputtering commander to a door leading out of the room, closing it behind them.
Not having expected that Irvin frowned at the door for a second before turning around, looking at the Military Policemen that he had drank with just a few minutes ago – they were returning to their seats and picking up their glasses like nothing had even happened. Lars turned around on the sofa and waved Irvin over, patting the empty spot right next to him. But Irvin just stared, shaking his head. Even in his befuddled state of being drunk (and it had only gotten worse since he had gotten up, it seemed like the alcohol had started really spreading in his body when he had taken a couple of steps) he shook his head, feeling so entirely repulsed by them all. They had just beaten up a group of civilians because they were hungry. Irvin felt nauseous. He felt the strong urge to leave immediately – and that was exactly what he did. He turned around and walked towards the tall double winged door leading out of the ball room, concentrating on walking as straight as possible. Which probably failed really badly but he didn't care, he had to leave immediately. The mere thought of having another drop of that wine cut with blood, of that food paid with blood money made him sick.
He was already out of the building, inhaling the clear cold air of the night deeply into his lungs, when his arm was grabbed and he was pushed against the wall. Recognizing Nile in front of him he relaxed but the look he gave the man was nowhere near friendly. Which seemed to confuse Nile because the man frowned at him, placing a hand on Irvin's arm.
"What's wrong, Irvin? Just leaving like that, it's rude."
He stared at Nile, wondering if the man really didn't know what Irvin was so angry about. He should know Irvin well enough to understand it – but he probably didn't. He was so convinced that the Military Police was doing a great job that he didn't see how messed up their morals and rules really were. Irvin just shook his head and then made to push past Nile.
"I'm going back to the headquarters.", he said, not liking the way his voice sounded. He was drawling, of course. He had had too much wine, more than he could handle – he had never handled the beverage very well. He had to go back to their quarters and sleep it off as much as he could in the few remaining hours until he had to get up again.
As good as his plan sounded to his ears Nile didn't seem to agree with him, he shoved him back against the wall. He was sure that the man had had way more wine than Irvin himself but Nile was used to drinking it like water so he was in a much better state. He was still at an advantage, both in height and strength, so he decided to give Nile a chance to explain what his problem was before leaving.
He didn't really lose time in showing Irvin exactly what his problem was, the next thing Irvin knew was Nile putting his arms around him and running his hands down his back underneath his jacket and familiar lips kissing his neck, making him shiver. For a moment, for a fleeting little moment Irvin wanted to just close his eyes and go along with it, feeling a familiar burning hunger for another body, for heat and friction and pleasure – but he pushed Nile away in the next. He looked at him, taking in his flushed cheeks and slightly parted lips, before shaking his head.
"Don't Nile. You can't have me, I'll never be yours.", he said, trying to sound as serious and sober as he could and hoped that Nile understood. Even if he agreed to that, even if he fucked Nile right there and then, he would walk away without feeling a thing afterwards. And he knew that wasn't enough for Nile.
The shorter man stared at him, raking a hand through his hair and Irvin decided that it was time to leave. He pushed away from the wall and after giving Nile a little smile he started heading for their quarter. All he wanted was collapsing in his bed – and return to things that he found useful, like trying to convince the government to let them equip the walls with cannons.
"Bastard.", he heard Nile hiss behind him and he closed his eyes, raising a hand in greeting before casting a look over his shoulder. "Farewell, Nile.", he said, seeing the fury clearly displayed on the man's features – but he walked on, thinking that it was maybe the best if they parted that way.
So he walked, concentrating on not stumbling, towards their temporary quarters, where Levi was probably fast asleep already on top of the wardrobe. Irvin hoped that the cold air of the night would help him sober up but somehow it didn't help at all – he somehow felt increasingly drunk by the minute. He just prayed to whatever there was that he would make it back to the spare quarters in one piece.
A usual person probably would have found deep and recreative sleep in the silence of the room – but Levi was just not the usual person. If he had been he would lie on the mattress a few feet lower instead of on top of the wardrobe, curled up in blankets and trying to find a comfortable position. He had retreated to the top of the wardrobe some time ago to try to get some sleep – but so far he had been unsuccessful. He was uneasy. The events of the day didn't allow him to rest and the knowledge that the corporal would return to his quarters at some point during the night kept him awake. Every time that he came close to drifting off to sleep his sensible ears would alarm him of a noise, as quiet es it might have been. Groaning in frustration he turned onto his back to face the ceiling that was just a few feet above him.
He should have been tired... he hadn't really rested since Irvin had left him alone in his office. After sitting on the window sill for quite a while he had actually attempted to take a nap, in the bed that he had never slept in, and had found it impossible. Feeling vulnerable and paranoid wasn't conductive to relaxing enough to sleep; so he had decided to leave the room. Walking around on the quarter's premises didn't seem dangerous to him because the other soldiers knew about him by now and the few people that he did meet weren't really paying attention to him.
After spending some time in the stables and feeding carrots to Flakes and the other horses he had cautiously poked his head into the kitchen because he assumed that the women who cooked their meals were also taking care of their laundry. And he had been right – he just hadn't been allowed to leave with the bundle of clothes right away. He had had his ribs poked, which made the executing woman gasp because he was apparently 'only skin and bones', and had had his cheeks patted and to endure the women's fussing over him for a little while. They ended up keeping him hostage until he had eaten a huge bowl of some kind of yellowish pate that tasted a little like the pudding Irvin had given him, but not quite. Not that he complained, getting food that he didn't have to steal was always welcome – and he had been hungry anyway. Irvin's absence left him responsible for getting food on his own if he wanted it – but seeing that the woman in the kitchen were more than willing to provide him with as much as he wanted he didn't need to worry about that.
Assuring the women that he would come back later to get his dinner Levi left with their laundry, making his resolution that he would just dump the corporal's clothes on his bed and only fold his own. But, after having accurately folded his own things, the sight of the untidy heap became more and more unbearable with every passing minute – so he ended up also folding Irvin's clothes and neatly setting them inside of the wardrobe. Levi figured that they would put their clothes into some kind of bag to transport them to the scouting legion's headquarters but he couldn't find any so he left it at that.
He sighed, shifting again and struggling one of his legs out of the blankets because he was too warm. Being used to sleeping outside even in winter made him overheat easily in the cocoon of blankets he had wrapped himself into. Damn the corporal for staying out so long, Levi thought while staring at the ceiling. What annoyed him the most, and he only begrudgingly admitted it, was his not being sure whether the thought of the corporal returning while he was asleep or his mere absence made him more uneasy and therefore unable to sleep. He didn't feel threatened by the man anymore – and he usually was very well able to sleep when Irvin was in the room.
His musings came to an abrupt halt when he heard noises in the adjacent office and he stiffened, listening closely as he tried to identify if it was only one person causing the noises. He thought so but he (he assumed it was the corporal returning from the function) made an awful lot of noise for being one person. Levi frowned, drawing in his legs and leaning on his elbow, his knife in his hand within fractions of seconds. He was ready for whoever decided to enter the room – and when the noisy person did so his frown deepened even though he released a breath he hadn't realized he had been holding in. It was indeed the scouting legion's corporal, he recognized his haircut and shape in the moonlight shining in through the window. But he was moving in a strange way, he wasn't... walking straight and he even bumped into the wardrobe Levi was perched on top of, making the whole damn wooden furniture shake due to the impact. Levi stared down at him, watching him fall onto his bed and then pathetically trying to take off his boots – which failed, repeatedly, as the man continuously lost his balance and ended up flat on his back on the mattress, wheezing out an almost pitiful laugh. Levi's brows knit together while he stared at the man trying to heave himself up into a sitting position again.
Was he... drunk? So drunk that he was crashing into furniture and not even able to take off his clothes?
Levi swallowed thickly when being hit by the realization that there was no other explanation for the man's behaviour, or at least he couldn't think of one. And it made him uncomfortable – his experiences with alcohol and people having had too much of it weren't at all pleasant. Either drunk soldiers being more violent than usually or drunk people taking too many liberties, Levi had learned that these people were to be avoided. But... seeing the blond corporal struggle with his boots was barely an alarming sight. Considering the fact that Irvin hadn't yet noticed him being awake he considered just turning around and trying to finally sleep – but he spoiled the plan before even lying down again.
"Are you drunk?", he asked into the silence of the room that was only broken by the rustling of clothes and the corporal's occasional rude cursing when he failed another attempt at trying to rid himself of his boots. When he registered Levi's voice he stilled and looked up to where he was bound to suspect Levi, an action that caused him to lose balance and to land flat on his back again. He heard him laugh and his hands fell to his sides, apparently he gave up trying.
"I... kinda am, yeah...", he said, slurring his words in a way that made denying it utterly impossible. "Thought y'd be 'sleep, Levi." He swallowed whole syllables which made it hard for Levi to fully understand him but at least he knew who he was. That fact and the way he was trying to struggle himself upright again, pitifully so, made the boy say what he said next.
"Do you... need help?", he asked the man, biting his lip immediately when the words left his mouth. He absolutely wasn't keen on getting down there, even being in the drunk man's presence. Drunk people couldn't be trusted even if they appeared to be decent people when being sober. Although... looking at the pathetic state the corporal was in Levi didn't have any doubts that he could very well deal with him if he really had to. He would keep his knife with him, just in case – but the man couldn't sleep like that, in his dirty clothes and leather straps and especially with his boots still on his feet. Levi wrinkled his nose in disgust.
The corporal needed a few moments to react to his words, but he did when he collapsed onto his back one more time. "That... 'd be hi'ly... appr'ciated..."he slurred and Levi rolled his eyes, untangling himself from the blankets he had been wrapped in. As much as he wanted to stay away from him he felt the need to get down there and help the man – Irvin had been helpful to him and he wanted to do something for him in return. Even if it was helping him out of his shoes because he was currently incapable of doing this on his own.
"'m sorry tha you n'd ter get 'own 'ere, Levi.", the corporal muttered while Levi hopped down onto the untouched bed with ease, stepping down to the floor. "It's okay.", Levi replied, approaching the corporal's bed cautiously. "I was awake anyway." He decided to get to work right away and placed his hands at the man's calve and heel, moving the latter hand until the boot could be slid off Irvin's leg. He repeated the treatment on his other leg and soon placed the boots neatly in front of his bed, straightening up afterwards. Already intent on getting back up onto the wardrobe he realized that he couldn't leave him like this, he was still wearing the clothes he had been wearing most of the day. Frowning slightly he pulled his bottom lip in with his teeth, chewing on it lightly. The man needed to take off his jacket, the leather straps, shirt and socks, at least, but he was in no shape to do that himself – Levi was sure that he would fall into a drunken slumber if he left the man there like this. But as much as he hated the thought that HE would have to be the one to take off the man's clothing he hated the thought of leaving him like this even more. So, taking a deep breath and glaring at him with furrowed brows, he stepped closer to him and grabbed his wrists to pull at his arms, trying to get the man to sit up. When Irvin groaned and didn't really make any effort to help him Levi hissed at him in frustration, giving his arms another sharp yank.
"MOVE you useless sack of flour, you can't sleep like that. Get up for fuck's sake.", he growled, eventually getting the man to sit upright. Blue, unfocused eyes were staring at him for a few seconds until the man couldn't hold his head up anymore and he slumped forward, resting his head on Levi's shoulder while his hands grabbed his other shoulder and his hip for support.
He went rigid beneath the man's touch and while his heart jumped violently in his ribcage he was very close to just pushing him away so hard that he would be knocked back flat onto the mattress again - but the man's murmured words made him pause.
"'m sorry t' be sush a b'ther, Levi.", the man told him, and Levi glared at the heavy head on his shoulder while trying to calm his racing heartbeat. His hands just grabbed him to steady himself, they didn't wander off to touch him anywhere else. And he seemed to be focused despite having lost most of his motor and articulation skills – that was what calmed the boy a little. Levi took a deep breath and raised his hands to push the man's jacket off his broad shoulders, sliding it down and got a little help by the corporal bending his arms backwards awkwardly, one by one, so Levi could remove the jacket from his body. He moved away to hang the jacket over the back of a chair at the small table and Irvin held himself upright by leaning his elbows onto his knees, bending forward so he wouldn't fall backwards again. However, when Levi moved back to stand in front of him and unbuckled the leather strap on his chest the man's arms returned to his hips and shoulders, making him stiffen once more. He could feel the man's body heat radiating off him and it went right through his clothes underneath the man's hands, making him shiver. He could smell him, too, an odd mixture of the cologne he had put onto himself to impress a girl that afternoon, the wine he had consumed and a hint of sweat – Levi didn't find it disgusting, oddly enough. Drunk people usually reeked – but then again he had mostly met drunk people who weren't clean and smelling good even when being sober.
The corporal tried keeping his head up but he couldn't focus on Levi's eyes, so he closed his own and his head sank onto Levi's shoulder, again, with a groan. The boy pushed the straps past the curves of his shoulders and pried Irvin's hands off of his body long enough to make him slip out of the upper part of the maneuver gear before he placed them back where Irvin apparently needed them with a huff.
Next thing to come off was the white dress shirt and Levi set to unbutton his shirt, figuring the quicker he got the task done the sooner he could crawl back onto the wardrobe. When the corporal suddenly turned his head his warm breath hit the skin on Levi's neck and he shivered again, feeling the hair at the back of his neck stand on ends.
"Do... y'r shoul'ers s'ill 'urt?", the corporal asked him and Levi felt his skin explode into goosebumps at the renewed assault of warm air hitting his neck and throat and he closed his eyes for a moment, to calm himself and to steady his hands in order to not push against the man's body. He wasn't doing anything alarming and he wasn't doing it on purpose, but he made Levi uncomfortable – because of the way his body, naturally, reacted.
He shook his head, but then, figuring that the man probably couldn't differ between a nod and a shake of his head from his current view, repeated his answer out loud. "No,", he said, "not until I strain them." The man clearly remembered who Levi was, remembered that he had hurt his shoulders – the knowledge calmed him again, he trusted the man to not do something funny while he was drunk.
Levi pushed the shirt off the man's shoulders when he was done unbuttoning it, and while he had already noticed that the man wasn't wearing anything underneath the white dress shirt he gulped when he revealed the man's bare chest. It was quite an impressive sight; although Levi had already experienced the man's strength first hand, he vividly remembered being pushed against the wall in his office roughly, his arms contorted behind his back painfully and held there easily because all his violent struggling was useless against this overpowering force, seeing the broad chest, muscular arms and stomach up so close was intimidating anyway. If that alone wasn't enough to prove that Irvin Smith was a man to be feared if he was your enemy, there were the scars. Even perceptible in the pale moonlight the lines crisscrossed his body, short, long, uneven and straight they drew patterns on his skin – telling the observer countless stories of survival.
Levi was transfixed for several long moments, following the lines with his eyes and trying to imagine how titans might have inflicted them; but given his lack of imagination as to what the titans really looked like he gave up quickly. He did reach out a hand though, absentmindly tracing a particular long scar down the man's chest with his fingertips. Having his own share of scars he knew the tenderness of the new skin that grew underneath scab when the wound was allowed to heal properly; he only found that on Irvin Smith' body. His skin was warm, he thought, and when the body underneath his fingers suddenly twitched he snatched his hand back as though its warmth had burnt him. A blush crept into his cheeks when the corporal produced a non-committal, inquiring sound and he yanked the shirt off his body impatiently, putting all the resurfacing frustration in his movement when he shoved hard against the man's chest to knock him over and make him fall onto the mattress again.
"You're really utterly useless, stupid sot.", he growled at him when he moved down the bed a little to open the waist belt of the gear and the protective leather loincloth underneath, pulling the latter out from beneath his body with a rough yank. The corporal even assisted a little by raising his hips, which Levi huffed to and went to open the remaining buckles on the man's muscular thighs and the various snap fasteners that made putting the complicated net of leather straps on and off a lot easier. Levi was having a closer look at the mechanics of the gear for the first time and he had to admit that if he had to put the damned thing onto himself he would probably need some time – or even a little assistance until he memorized which leather belt had to be strapped tightly to which of his body parts.
When he was finally done with undoing the various fasteners he none too gently pushed against the corporal's body until he could remove his gear from underneath him and went over to the wardrobe to hang it up neatly. Having that entangled was probably enough to drive a soldier crazy he mused when he returned to the bed, looking down at the corporal to see what was left to do. Which was a part he grimaced about but again he couldn't bring himself to leave the man like that, still wearing his socks, even though the thought of touching them repulsed him. He took hold of one of his slack legs again, reaching for the leg part of his sock to peel it off his foot by touching the sock as well as his foot as little as possible. The man's laugh almost startled him but it was there, quiet and deep in his throat, and when he reached for his second leg the corporal lifted it for him, giving him a little assistance for his task.
"Sorry... I dun'us'lly drink'so mush...", he slurred and Levi huffed, taking the socks with his fingertips to place them underneath the chair where he put the man's neatly folded shirt once he had retrieved it.
"You should be. And you shouldn't drink that much if you can't hold your liquor", he glowered at him and hazy blue eyes looked up at him, another laugh erupted from the man's chest.
"I... apol'gize.", was the man's answer and he rolled his eyes, shooting him another glare.
"Stop apologizing, it's unnerving and really doesn't suit you." It really didn't. Knowing the manipulative bastard he doubted that he ever really felt sorry. He just said it because he thought it was expected of him.
Levi decided that he couldn't bring it over himself to take off the man's pants – the shy glance to the man's middle made him look away immediately because he was embarrassed by the thought of touching him there. This was good enough, the man wouldn't strangle himself in his gear in his sleep and he wouldn't crumple his jacket beyond recognition, either. Levi could very well live with him wearing pants.
It was when he moved up the bed, draping his blankets over the man's half naked body, that it suddenly happened. The strong arms appeared out of nowhere and due to the darkness and the frustrated calmness he had lulled himself into Levi didn't expect it at all. He couldn't even yelp until he was pressed face first into the mattress, his face smothered in a fluff pillow and a heavy body weighing him down and trapping him in a way that he could barely move. His heart racing in his chest he struggled, pushing against the heavy body holding him captive and hissing ferociously at him. When strong arms wrapped around his body, trapping his own arms at his sides and immobilizing him even more he felt fear linger at the borders of his conscience, towering up and ready to wash through his body – but he refused to let fear overwhelm him, he knew too perfectly well where he was – and who had just forced him onto the mattress. And something about the way he did it, tightening his hold around him without touching him with his hands, without groping and pulling on his clothes, made him stay very clear-headed. The only thing he was currently feeling was annoyance – annoyance that turned into fury with every passing second of his capture. He hated being captured.
Levi gathered up his strength and shoved his shoulder against his chest, making a first, harmless attempt at freeing himself. Bending his arm underneath his body awkwardly his fingertips felt his knife, and the thought of having it in reach made the fear subside, fading into his annoyance as an additional intensifier.
"Let go."Twisting his head around to be able to look at him he glared viciously and shoved his shoulder into his chest again when his order didn't inspire the reaction he had aimed for. "I said: Let go.", he repeated, his tone as sharp as the crack of a whip in the otherwise silent room. However, the drunk corporal didn't seem too impressed; he produced an unwilling sound low in his throat and only tightened his hold on Levi. Which made the boy's temper flare. Glaring daggers at his face where the man had closed his eyes and his lips set into a tight line he shoved at him with more force, grinning evilly in his fury when the man cursed and snapped his eyes open to do a little glaring on his own.
"I swear to the fucking walls, if you don't let go, fucking NOW, I'll cut off your arms.", he hissed at Irvin, his voice very clear and as imperious as such a small body could ever sound. And it seemed to work, a wave of relief rushed through his body when the strong arms around him somewhat loosened the deadlock they held Levi in, enough for him to twist around in his arms and grab the handle of the knife in his pocket – when they tightened around him again, he was pulled closer to the heavy body and he faced another moment of fear trying to consume him, trying to make him drown in memories pushed back into the darkest corners of his mind. But he struggled to remain focused and he growled at the corporal, his eyes glistening with the rage he was feeling. "The FUCK, Irvin! What the hell has gotten into you, shithead? Let GO." His voice sounded pressed from his struggle to remain as calm as possible, refraining from getting too vocal. He hated screaming, usually the vibrating rage in his voice was way more effective. Just not with the damned drunkard he had to deal with. The man ensured once more that Levi couldn't move his arms, the hand with the knife was trapped in the pocket of his pants, and Levi inhaled sharply when the man moved to half lie on top of him, his face pressing into the crook of Levi's neck.
That was almost enough to make him snap. Feeling the other male so close, feeling his hard, half naked body on his own, his warm breath against his neck, his hair tickling his overly sensitive skin, breathing in his scent almost made him flare into action, into punching and kicking and slashing at the muscular body until he was free and able to run as fast as he could. Levi wasn't oblivious, he knew there were men desiring other men (or desiring anything that moved and they haughtily thought could be claimed without defense), he had been approached more than once. And more than once the attempting person had left with deep slashes or broken bones. Or the attempting person hadn't left at all, due to a slit throat. Rape was something that wasn't going to happen to him, he had sworn that over the first person he had killed because he had been molesting Levi. And it certainly wasn't going to happen here, not now. Part of him knew that it wasn't Irvin's intention, there was no hard flesh pressing against Levi's thigh, he still didn't reach for his clothes, he didn't touch him with greedy, possessive hands, he didn't kiss or bite his skin – and not knowing what this was all about made Levi even more furious, made him struggle against the hold the corporal was having on him.
"You have exactly three seconds to let go or I'll break your fucking arms.", he pressed through gritted teeth, kicking the other male's thigh without refrain for emphasis. The grunt the corporal exhaled felt good, knowing he could cause this giant bastard pain was relieving. He wasn't kidding that was his very last threat. There wouldn't be hesitation, Levi was used to killing in order to defend himself, this wouldn't be the first -
"Sstop ssruggli'n an' calm 'own.", the corporal slurred, his breath hitting Levi's skin again and making him shiver against his will. Annoyance was flaring up again, drowning the feeling of burgeoning fear completely – this wasn't about his body. If it was the corporal would take it, he had a chance at giving it a go. But he didn't. He didn't even move. He didn't do anything to make Levi feel used, humiliated – he merely held him. WHY he was doing it Levi didn't know, he just knew that he wanted to scream in frustration – but his need to hurt this man so badly that he could flee subsided slowly, leaving him trembling with his fury and glaring at the blond tuft he could see from the corners of his eyes.
"What the actual fuck. What is WRONG with you, bastard? I don't want to calm down, I want you to let go of me, and that two minutes ago. MOVE you damned giant.", he spat at him, emphasizing his works with a few shrugs of his shoulders in order to get his arms free, but the man didn't budge one but. A growl building low in Levi's throat he aimed for the man's thigh again, prepared to kick him harder this time, when the corporal spoke again.
"'tis nice... your warm...jus'sleep."
He could only stare at him, unable to believe what he was hearing. Irvin had his eyes closed and his, mumbling sounded like he was close to falling asleep. But... he couldn't. He couldn't just fall asleep on top of Levi, he wanted to be out of his bed as quickly as possible - even if the man wasn't about to molest him he was highly uncomfortable, crushed beneath the heavy body and held in his death grip where he couldn't properly move a muscle. There was no way he could sleep like this.
"You've got to be kidding me.", he snapped and struggled again, but slowly losing the edge his movement had just a couple of minutes ago. Because it was uncalled for, he had to begrudgingly admit it. The more he struggled the tighter the corporal's arms wrapped around him and while it was pretentious thing to do, thinking that he could just hold him here if he clung to him long enough, he wasn't doing Levi any harm. Other than crushing his bones a little, perhaps. The corporal... wanted to hold him. Wanted him to sleep in his bed, and not for sexual or romantic reasons. He just seemed to desire a companion. Somebody who he could hold, who was warm and enduring his being clingy. Levi just rolled his eyes. He didn't want to endure his being clingy and he didn't want to be in his bed.
The man's body was also very warm, he registered. And despite being so helplessly drunk he didn't smell, not even that he whole being was practically pressed against Levi. It wasn't disgust that made him want to crawl out of this bed and climb back on top of the wardrobe again. What it actually was... it was probably just the close presence of another human being, one that he trusted to not hurt him but not enough to be this close to. He couldn't sleep here, not with a male's nose pressed against his neck, feeling warm air caress his skin every time Irvin took a breath.
The bed was also really comfortable – Levi felt that his muscles welcomed the softness (even though it was still a hard mattress at a spare Military quarter it was still 100 times softer and more comfortable than the top of any wardrobe), especially his tired legs and sore shoulders and back.
Levi groaned, not believing his own thoughts and feelings. He was... actually experiencing comfort here. The fact that he was being crushed by a heavy body and strong arms remained but otherwise... did his body welcome the change of location.
He shook his head exasperatedly, and wanted to raise a hand to comb a few dark strands that were messily hanging into his face back where they belonged – but he still found that he couldn't. Snarling he roughly pushed against Irvin's body, earning another disapproving sound from the man's throat, before addressing the man in a slightly agitated voice.
"Damn it, you bastard, would you move your fucking vice like arms?" The man made another non-committal sound and Levi hissed in frustration, growing so very tired of the whole situation. Fucking Irvin and his fucking wine, they were both supposed to go to hell. "MOVE YOUR ARMS. I won't go anywhere but I can't sleep like this. Let GO."
There was silence in the room for a few seconds, just as if neither Irvin not Levi himself could actually believe what he had just said. And Levi really couldn't, cursing silently when he realized that he had practically just agreed to sleeping in the man's bed. What the actual fuck? Was this fucking corporal going to manipulate him into ANYTHING he wanted him to do? Levi glared at him, daggers, but when the corporal really loosened his hold around him he shifted into a way more comfortable position. He contemplated scrambling out of the bed, knowing he was most certainly way faster and more subtle than the corporal, not to mention more lucid – but he didn't. Instead he rolled onto his side, facing the drunkenly intrusive man, and when the arms returned to find their places around his body he took a few deep breaths and let it happen. He was given way more space than he had had before – and while he would have been happier with the man not touching him at all he realized that he cared less about his hands with every passing minute. Because his hands weren't doing anything. They were a warm presence at his back, not searching, not feeling, not moving at all. Levi watched the man's face, not sure if the man was already asleep or still lingering along the border of consciousness. He had closed his eyes a while ago, refusing to open them during their whole exchange. Probably because he simply was drunk shitless – Levi was sure that Irvin would never have made him sleep in his bed if he'd been sober. And Levi would give him hell for it the next morning, he was going to regret making him do this – but for now he settled in, not quite close to Irvin but not far away, either. It seemed to be enough contact for the man to be content with and it was enough space for Levi so he could land a few good blows if he still needed to eventually. He didn't think so – Irvin had never once made a move on him when being sober and had failed to do so now that he was probably as drunk as he could ever get without passing out. Instead of shattering something in Levi, hurting the tentative trust that he was carefully growing, he felt assured once more that this men wouldn't cause him harm. If the worst thing the corporal wanted in his drunken mind was cling to Levi's body... he really didn't have to be afraid of him. If nothing, he had now discovered something he could make fun of – and he would certainly never let Irvin forget this experience. If this was embarrassing for one of them it sure as hell wasn't Levi.
His body actually relaxed in the warmth that they created underneath the covers and when lying on his side became uncomfortable he turned back onto his back carefully, fully aware of the fact that the corporal's grip still tightened around him though he was probably fast asleep. Levi rolled his eyes but didn't say anything – he was trying his best to fall asleep, too.
But sleep just wouldn't come to him – he had already expected that he wouldn't even get so much as five minutes of recreative sleep that night. But, in contradiction to what he had assumed, Irvin sleeping next to him wasn't the problem. His back facing the door was the problem, he figured out after some time. It became apparent when the noises Irvin made, a breath that was inhaled suddenly or him moving at his side didn't startle Levi – but his eyes snapped open every few minutes because he was sure that he had heard a tiny little noise in the adjacent office, or the creaking of the door, and each time he froze in apprehension, thinking that their pursuer had found them at last and was coming to finish his job. Of course there was nothing, but his imagination didn't let him rest. It would have been easiest to just turn around; but he knew he would probably feel equally paranoid when turning his back to Irvin. He couldn't explain why, but baring his back to the man made him feel uncomfortable – which only left him with one possibility.
Carefully sitting up he groaned when the man's arm tightened around him immediately, making him wonder of the man was really asleep or just pretended to be. The quiet, murmured 'Dun' leave." suggested as much but he didn't stir, he just held onto Levi tightly. Glaring down at him he pushed against a muscular shoulder, he was so tired of this. The next time the corporal decided to get smashed Levi would leave him rot in his stinking clothes, he wouldn't set a foot within his arm reach.
"Let go, twat, I wanna get comfortable. I told you I'm not going anywhere.", he muttered at him, too tired to put any viciousness into his voice. He wondered what time it was. And then he wondered how much of this the corporal would remember in the morning. He certainly hoped he'd remember every single little detail. He really wanted to mock him, he deserved it – and the bruises that Levi had inflicted on him, he deserved them, too.
The strong arms slowly budged and Levi took a deep breath before quickly climbing over Irvin's body to slide underneath the blankets on the other side of him, now facing the door – and Irvin's back. He was totally fine with that, due to the man's largeness he would be obscured from the line of vision when somebody entered the door – and Irvin turning his back to him was great, too, it gave him some sense of power. He COULD still just stab him in the back, couldn't he?
Irvin did turn around, of course, but it didn't bother Levi as much. The hands returned, too, and the warm body shifted closer to him once more. Nothing new, he could try to work with that, having slowly eliminated all the things he could to make falling asleep even probable. So he tried closing his eyes, relaxing in the slowly building heat between them and ending up even huddling closer to the other body. Which was making him shake his head at himself, but he knew where it was coming from. He had done that, when he had been younger, with Johann – with the slight difference that he had been 8, not 15?/16?/17? and Johann had been his substitute father, not the corporal of a Military branch that ended up being eaten by titans for the most part.
But, considering all that had happened during these past few days, considering the crazy day he was currently trying to end by falling asleep, he didn't question anything anymore. He did what he thought was best for him – as he had always done. And if it was being in bed with Irvin Smith, sleeping at his side with big hands warming the small of his back while sharing the warmth of a few Military blankets, then it was alright. For the moment he could rest – everything else could still be faced the next morning.
Notes:
... it's been five months... god damn it and I promised that I wouldn't take that long ever again, didn't I..? |D
Granted, I had a few significant real life issues that needed tending to. First, I got a second job, which took some time getting used to but I think I'm fine now~ second, I got myself a partner at the other side of the world (that's basically why I need a second job because flying is expensive XD) - so I just didn't have too much time to write. And, I was facing a writer's block.
I know, I'm all excuses, and I'm really sorry. TAT I hope the next chapter is going to be finished soon, even though I won't have too much time in June due to a stay in America and cosplay crafting that needs to be done this month. But~ I'll still write, I won't abandon my favourite babies!
Thank you for sticking with me, though! * 3 * (And I promise the story will pick up pace very soon~)
Okay, don't let me bore you with my stuff any longer, here's the story!