A/N: A short chapter featuring Elsa. Read and learn how Elsa sees the world.
Elsa was engrossed in a documentary about old human hunters. She watched, fascinated by how primitive humans were... well they still were. They had come a ways from spear chucking, but their weapons were still barbaric in comparison to the weapons Elsa had on her ship before destroying it. Still, even her ice proved to be more advanced than anything the human's had ever come up with. Still, she would need weapons to defend herself on this planet. She felt herself grow angry at the owner of this nest, if only the human let her take apart the appliances and use the things she found, then surely Elsa could have built something to make herself feel safer. However the human insisted that Elsa put things back the way they were after dismantling something.
Elsa let her eyes slide to the hallway where she could see the bathroom door and where a light could be seen coming from under the door. That's where the human was, she was apparantly cleansing herself. Elsa hated the way the human smelled after her cleansing, it hurt her nose. She much preferred the girl's natural musk, that earthy scent mixed with natural pheromones. Elsa just couldn't seem to understand half the things these humans did. Why apply such a disgusting smell to yourself while cleansing yourself? Why did she leave the room whenever she needed to exit waste from her body in the form of gas? Finally why was she... was she... what was the human doing?
"-ancing in the mirror and singing in the shower! La da de, la da da, la da daaaa!" Elsa listened to the human shout to herself for whatever reason. She didn't understand these strange creatures at all.
Elsa, becoming somewhat accustomed to the sounds of the apartment, did not jump in surprise at the sound of Anna's ringtone going off. Instead she just looked down at the cellular device on the table. Elsa knew what it was, she'd seen the human of the household use it enough to know that it was some sort of device for long distance communication. Elsa stood up and scooped up the phone, walking to the bathroom door and knocking on it like the human told her too. The last time she walked in without knocking, the human had screamed and covered themselves, turning red in the face as she told Elsa how impolite it was to barge in unannounced. She supposed the human was afraid to be seen without her armor, not wanting to be vulnerable. Still, Elsa wondered what all those spots were on her body. They resembled the little dots on her face.
"Yeah?" She heard the human call out after she knocked.
"Your communication device is sounding an alarm." Elsa stated, the device still going off in her hand.
"Oh, uh just answer it and tell them i'm in the shower and i'll call back later. It's probably Kristoff. Just touch the green button on the screen and slide it to the left." The human instructed, before returning to her weird shouting.
Elsa stepped away from the bathroom and did as instructed. She held the device up to her head just like the human did and mimicked what she'd heard before.
"Hello?" Elsa started.
"oh... um, hello. Um is Anna there?" A woman's voice.
"Yes, but she is cleansing her body."
"Cleansing? uh... okay."
"I have been informed to let you know she will call you back. I shall end the call now." Elsa said.
"Wait! Why I don't even know who this is. Are you one of Anna's friends?" They asked, interested.
"I am Elsa. Me and the human Anna, are both engaged in that of friendship, however we are working together to reach our goal of being a lesbian couple." Elsa said with ease.
There was silence before, "A... a lesbian couple you say?" They sounded shocked.
"That is right."
"But Anna never- she didn't seem like- no, she would have told me about this. Is this some sort of prank that kids like to do these days?"
"A prank? As in a joke? A jester? I assure you that we are quite serious."
"W-when did this happen?" The woman asked, sounding somewhat distressed.
Elsa narrowed her eyes, suspicious of this human's tone. "When the human Anna took me to buy 'lingerie'." Elsa felt a small sense of pride for remembering the name of the armor that the human bought for her.
"T-this is a trick. This is so out of the gate. Anna never showed interest in girls."
Elsa felt ice crackle between her fingertips, luckily she wasn't holding the phone with her left hand. "Do not accuse me of trickery you lowly human."
"What?"
"Me and Anna will be a lesbian couple and we will do everything a lesbian couple does together. We will be the greatest lesbian couple that your pitiful mudball of a planet has ever seen. If you wish to break us up-"
"W-wait i'm not-"
But Elsa wasn't hearing it. "You are but a weak human. I can tell by your voice that you are far past the prime age of when a human is at their strongest. Even at your best you could not face me. I shall show no mercy if you try to ruin our lesbian coupling. I shall rip the skin off your muscles and shove it down your throat as I freeze your exposed flesh at an agonizingly slow pace. And if you dare hurt my human friend while trying to tear us apart, I shall not stop there. I shall tear the flesh from your bones, strip by strip as you wail in agony! I will insert toxins into your bloodstream to keep you alive all the longer as I expose your heart and sink my claws into it!"
Elsa was quite literally growling at this point. She waited for the human to respond, to acknowledge that Elsa was stronger and that they wouldn't get in the way of her and Anna's relationship. Instead however she was met with the dial tone.
"That was a good shower. Nothing like singing in the shower, eh Elsa?" Anna, bubbly after her warm shower, walked up to Elsa, still singing. "La da de, la da da, la da daaa." She giggled.
Elsa simply looked at her before handing over the phone to her. Anna smiled and opened her phone. "So who was it?" She asked.
"Someone who wanted to break apart our friendship. Do not worry, I promised to end their life if they tried." Elsa said proudly, expecting praise from Anna.
Anna however just looked to Elsa before quickly flipping through her phone. Oh god, who had she threatened? Please let it be Kristoff. She could totally trick him into thinking-
Oh god...
"Elsa!" Anna shouted at her.
Elsa, for the first time, recoiled away from Anna as if scared she was about to be struck. "What is it, human?" She glared, not liking being yelled at.
"You just threatened to kill my mom!"