10th Chapter, here we are! This one was a fun one to write - I hope you guys enjoy it. The song (and theme) for this one is Dirty Little Secret by All American Rejects, and it's set during the fleeting time the writers gave us of these two together.
This is one of, if not the longest oneshot I've ever written, so here goes nothing!
They ended up in that position often; not that Jay ever complained. He pressed his body against hers as they backed against his bedroom wall, feverish kisses landing on each of them at every angle. Within a moment of her entering his apartment her shirt had been lost, and after awkwardly shimmying out of her jeans and boots in his bedroom she remained in only underwear.
His hands were light on her neck, thumbs outstretched to cradle her jaw while hers were hard on his waist. The sound of sloppy kisses filled the silence around them. A sound of desperation; of love.
Just as her fingertips delved beneath his thin black sweater, a knocking at the door brought them both out of their temporary lust-fueled haze.
"Just ignore it." Jay muttered with hot breath, his attention turning to the soft skin of Erin's neck. Her breath hitched at every touch. He could feel her heart hammering in her chest.
A second passed before Erin and Jay stopped their movements.
"We know you're in man," Ruzek's voice carried from outside the door.
"Your car's parked out front." Atwater added as reasoning.
Jay swallowed and could finally think straight. He looked down at his dishevelled partner.
His voice was low as he spoke. "Did you drive here?"
She shook her head, relief evident in her eyes. "Got a cab."
He let out a sigh and a brief smile; her car wasn't out front, they didn't know she was there.
"I'll get rid of them." Jay said, taking half a second to take in the sight of a half dressed Erin Lindsay pressed against his bedroom wall.
She bit her lip and gave him a little push, a small laugh leaving her lips.
"Go," She urged, a redness rising in her cheeks from the way he was looking at her. Like she was the sun.
Jay was there in seconds; opening his door and planning to tell his co-workers that this was not the night for company. The image of Erin in his head was a good motivation to stay strong.
Yet as he swung the door open, he had a six pack of beers pressed to his chest as Adam and Kevin comfortably strode past him, immediately making themselves at home on his couch.
"Listen, guys..." Jay started with a remorseful tone.
"No, no, no." Adam began to chant. "You are not bailing again. We haven't been out in weeks 'cause you keep flaking."
"Seriously, dude. It's gettin' old." Atwater added.
Jay stood with his hands on his hips and gave an apologetic glance.
"Look, I'm sorry, but... I have plans tonight."
"Yeah you do." Ruzek remarked. "Plans with us. Come on, Jay. I asked you about this last week and you said it'd be cool. Tony's stoppin' by in a bit - You know he hasn't been out much since the divorce."
Jay let out a deep sigh at the guilt card Adam was playing.
"Come on, man. We got beer, we got movies. Guy's night."
As Adam spoke he flicked the top off the first beer and passed it over to Halstead, who was still sporting an uncomfortable grimace. He unconsciously looked over his shoulder and to his bedroom door.
"Fine," He finally sighed. "I can push my plans a bit. But when I call it a night, you're gone, okay? I don't need anybody passed out on my floor again after too many drinks."
His eyes flickered to Kevin and Jay recalled the memory of he and Dawson attempting to move the former in his drunken stupor. Needless to say, the effort wasn't easy.
Adam let out a low laugh as Jay tossed him the remote.
"I'll be right back," He muttered, but thankfully neither of the two guys in front of him seemed that interested.
When he made it back to his bedroom, Erin on his bed; lying on her stomach, arms folded in front of her and legs crossed over one another by the headboard.
Jay tried to open his mouth but his throat had suddenly gone dry; and against his better judgement he was walking towards the bed with Erin being the only thing in his head.
"Thank god," She rasped as she sat up, resting on her knees and throwing her hands around his shoulders. "I thought they'd never leave."
The husk to her voice was intoxicating to him. His fingertips went to her bare waist and held her softly while she kissed him with juxtaposed pressure. He felt her body sigh against his, and it was only when she went to pull him down against the bed he was pulled out of the trance.
"It's guy's night." He mumbled shakily, a looked of apology painted on his face.
She leaned back with her eyebrow creased, confusion on her face until it eventually dawned on her. "You let them in?" She gasped angrily.
"I had to, I-"
"You've got to be kidding me!"
"I promised Ruzek last week," Jay attempted to explain, his lips still tingling from her kiss.
"And you just conveniently forgot to tell me that?"
"Hey, when you showed up I could barely remember my own name, let alone plans I made a week ago."
She seemed to soften slightly at his words, although still frowning.
"One hour." Jay reasoned, his voice low and gentle. He felt her sway towards him slightly, and he riskily put a hand against her cheek.
Despite her hard eyes, she relaxed into his palm and nodded slightly. Acceptance turned to fear in a hot second though, upon remembering her undressing when she arrived.
"My shirt." She muttered shakily. "It's in there somewhere."
Jay's eyes grew gradually wider and he let out a wavering breath.
"Any idea where?"
Erin sighed and rolled her eyes at him. "I was sort of pre-occupied; Couldn't really take down co-ordinates."
Wherever the shirt was, Jay resolved he'd have to find it quickly. He wasn't sure how much attention Atwater and Ruzek paid to Lindsay's daily attire but he wasn't about to risk it.
Standing by the doorway, Halstead felt a pull on his heart as he looked back at Erin.
He forced a smile and told him with a single look that he was sorry. A thousand times over.
"On hour." He said softly.
The hour came and went slowly; painfully so. Having only gotten through the first hour of Die Hard, Jay found himself staring at the clock every few minutes, his heart sinking at the slow passing of time.
Thankfully, Erin's shirt had been easy enough to find; dropped behind one of the couches, Jay had managed to snatch it up and shove it in a drawer without Adam and Kevin suspecting a thing.
As the two guys launched into a feverish debate on the cinematographically important concept that was Die Hard, Jay felt his phone vibrate in his pocket.
Tell me Dumb and Dumber are going soon.
He angled his phone away from sight and furrowed his brow. With any luck.
She didn't reply, sending Jay a sinking feeling in his chest.
I'm sorry.
I'm already thinking of ways you can make it up to me.
Jay smiled, despite himself. Such as?
I guess you'll just have to wait and find out.
"Do you need me to get that?"
Jay felt Adam nudge his shoulder and he was brought back to reality. A knock at the door echoed through the apartment, and from Ruzek's request, Jay deduced that wasn't the first.
"No, I got it."
Shoving his phone back in his pocket, Jay strode towards the door and forced a smile upon revealing Dawson's face. Also sporting a six pack of beer, Antonio made his way inside and settled easily into Jay's spot on the couch. He was halfway into his first beer and joining into the Die Hard discussion before Jay could barely blink.
He excused himself lamely again, getting a mere grunt of acknowledgement from the guys.
As he slid into his bedroom, he cringed at Erin visibly breathing a sigh of relief.
"I heard the door." She said hopefully, sat on the end of his bed.
Jay grimaced as explanation, and Erin dropped backwards onto the mattress with a groan.
"I'm going stir-crazy in here, Jay." Erin said.
She then sat up, the clogs turning in her head.
"I could just make a run for it?" She thought out loud. But the look on Halstead's face told her it was impossible. Even though the guys were obsessively into the movie, they'd still notice a half-naked woman leaving his room.
Her face fell and she looked to Jay, hoping he'd have an alternative.
"We could just tell them." Jay responded.
Erin immediately shot down the idea.
"No way." She shook her head. "Even if this was the right time to do this - which it absolutely isn't - I've been in here too long by now. Do you really want the guys to think I'm some sort of hooker, lying on your bed, waiting for you?"
Jay sighed and leaned his head back against the bedroom door. His eyes travelled aimlessly to the far end of his room. A lazy smile traced his lips.
"You could... Sneak out the fire escape."
She let out a low laugh, and it melted all the tension between them.
"Scaling your building in my underwear? How could I possibly say no to that?"
Jay's smile grew across his mouth. "Hey, I'd let you borrow one of my shirts."
"Always the gentleman."
Their secret smiles faded into nothingness, just a soft gaze between them.
"You better get back out there." She noted after a few seconds. He nodded, but looked at her a moment longer. This was so not how the night was supposed to go.
"I mean it, you know." Erin remarked once Jay had turned his back. He looked over his shoulder with the shadow of a grin. "You're making this up to me."
He nodded, the smile still present. "Wouldn't have it any other way."
The beers kept flowing and meaningless discussion continued - and Jay's only saving grace was that it was nearing the two hour mark and he could cut the evening short soon.
He sipped on his beer and, in a single moment amongst his friends, had the bizarre notion that he missed her. That, when sitting around with his co-workers, drinking and laughing, there was an ache in her heart for his partner. And he decided that he would choose being trapped in that little room with her for a second than spending all night with his friends.
With the ache in his heart only growing, Jay got up to grab a bag of chips from his kitchen, conveniently saying he'd 'be right back' after dropping them to the table.
Atwater mumbled something about dips and Jay responded back for him to check the kitchen; his vision was already clouding as he neared his bedroom door. When he was inside, all thought of chips and dips and Die Hard left his mind.
Sporting an old shirt of his, Erin was sprawled out on Jay's bed, her face buried in one of his old yearbooks.
"Snooping?" He asked, joining her as he sat on the end of the bed.
"Not much else to do in here." She grumbled back, flicking through the pages.
She looked up at him with a smile tugging on her lips. "Never pegged you for the sporto type. Lacrosse and track? I'm impressed."
"Were you on any teams in high school?"
She shook her head, closing his yearbook and sitting up next to him. "My thing was more... Getting wasted behind the bleachers and running from the principle."
"Right." Jay acknowledged with a smile. Every time she told him something about herself, it felt as though this whole thing between them got a little realer.
He landed his hand on her thigh, half on her skin and half on the material of his shirt she'd borrowed.
"D'you give the fire escape a second thought?" He laughed, moving his thumb back and forth.
"No, but ask me again after another hour." She joked, dropping her head to the space between his neck and shoulder.
Halstead relinquished a sigh of frustration and rested his head gently on top of hers.
"Movie's almost over. I'll tell them to bounce when it's finished."
He felt Erin nod beneath him, and he knew it was time to head back out there, regardless of how nice it felt to be next to her.
Jay finished his third beer and slid it onto the coffee table with the growing collection of empty bottles. So wrapped up in looking at the clock, Jay was fairly oblivious to the rolling credits on the screen.
"Robocop?" Adam suggested to the group, toying with the DVD in his hands.
While Kevin and Antonio relished the idea of starting another movie, Jay was getting tired. And he knew Erin was.
"Guys, it's getting kinda late..." Jay said, getting to his feet.
Dawson raised his eyebrow suspiciously, looking up at Halstead. "It's 9.30."
Jay began stumbling over his words, feeling all eyes on him. "Well, yeah, but... I mean, I, uh, I have plans. So-"
"Come on, dude," Adam whined as he carefully made his way over to the DVD player. "This is our first guys night in forever, don't bail on us now."
"Look, I'm sorry guys, but-"
A thick knocking interrupted Jay - not that he was being paid much attention anyway. With a sigh he went to the door, wondering who was left to join the circus act in his apartment.
It was the maybe the last person on earth who he'd suspect.
"You gonna leave me standing here all night or are you gonna invite me in?" Hank snapped as Jay stared in disbelief. He barely moved an inch to the side before Hank, and a briefcase of sorts that he was carrying, entered his apartment.
"Whatcha got there, boss?" Atwater asked, referring to the case Voight was clutching.
Voight smiled and joined the circle of guys by the television, knocking all the bottles out of the way as the case slid onto the table.
"Who's up for a game of poker?"
Jay slid through his bedroom door, just having a mere second to close it before Erin exploded in front of him.
"I'm past caring right now, okay?" She told him through gritted teeth, pacing up and down. "I don't care who the hell that was. I. Need. Out. I'm serious: I don't care who thinks what - the voices in my head are yelling at me to get out now. I'm gonna start talking to the walls, Jay. I'm leaving."
She made for the door but he stood firm, refusing to move.
"It's Voight."
Erin's anger evaporated in a second, and Jay could feel the worry radiating from her.
"Okay, new plan." She breathed, folding her arms across her chest. "I'm not leaving."
Jay puffed out a laugh, but it was all nerves. He wasn't afraid of Hank Voight, but he couldn't deny there was something oddly terrifying about having his Sergeant's pseudo-daughter stashed away in his bedroom.
"Why's he even here?" Erin asked quizzically.
Jay shook his head and gave an exasperated look. He didn't have a clue why on earth Hank would show up on his doorstep.
"Guy's night, I'm guessing. They're setting up poker right now."
Erin's pacing returned, this time out of nervousness.
"What do I do?" Jay asked, and he could tell that Erin was coming up with a gameplan, too.
"You act completely normal. It's just a guy's night. You've got this."
Jay nodded frantically. He swallowed but his throat was dry. As his hand ran across the back of his neck, he couldn't help but think back to something Lindsay had told him before.
"You said I'm a terrible liar. What if he catches on?"
"Unless he says: 'Hey Halstead, got Erin hiding in your bedroom in nothing but her underwear', you won't be lying. You'll just be... Avoiding the truth."
"Is there much difference in Voight's eyes?" Jay asked, and he suddenly realised he was panicking.
He respected whatever it was that went on between Hank and Erin - god knows he would've loved someone to take on a decent father role while he was growing up. And while he and Erin both knew it wasn't the time to tell Voight, even he knew there was a right way to do it. And the right way definitely wasn't revealing that they were in the midst of hooking up and put it on hold, waiting for people to leave.
Erin turned to Jay and could see the wariness in his eyes. She paced over to him and slid her hands to either side of his face, the roughness of his stubble prickling against her palms.
"Hey, you've got this." She told him, steadying his gaze. "You'll play some cards and they'll go home. Hank's not much of a night-owl anyway."
Jay nodded, and felt his heart become slightly lighter when she placed a chaste kiss on his lips. His heart was thudding in his chest as he went for the door, but he paused slightly. He looked back to Erin.
"We never said this would be easy, right?"
She smiled sadly and it broke his heart a little.
They played poker, and Jay sucked.
The best he'd gotten in all their games had been three sixes - something to be laughed at compared to Hank's flush. He felt distracted though, distant from the game.
"I fold." Jay admitted with a sigh, tossing his cards to the centre.
"Again?" Ruzek said with a laugh, swigging from is beer bottle. "Damn, Halstead. Step up your game, man."
Jay rolled his eyes and leaned back on the sofa.
"Poker's not really my game."
"Oh yeah? What is?" Antonio asked, looking at Jay over his cards.
Jay smiled, his mind immediately going to Erin. "Scrabble." He said confidently, wishing she was there to pop her dimples and give a grin that melted everything inside of him.
He didn't know how long he was thinking about Erin - of how she could make him smile like nobody else, how she could make his heart soar. He thought back to their inside jokes and how he wanted, more than anything, for her to be sitting there next to him.
For a second, Jay thought as though he may have spilled all his thoughts out of his mouth; he nearly jumped out of his skin when he heard Erin's name being said.
"No Lindsay tonight?" Kevin asked, and Jay avoided eye contact.
"No, uh, I think she had plans." His gaze flickered to Hank, who appeared to be eyeing Halstead unnervingly. "A date. I think she had a date."
Hank look pleased enough and was back to staring at his cards; Jay was satisfied.
"I'll be right back," He said vaguely, hoping he could go unnoticed and spend two - maybe three minutes with Erin.
"Where do you keep sneaking off to, man?" Antonio inquired before laying down his hand. A full house.
"I've just gotta check something." He replied, stammering slightly. "I'll be right back."
Within seconds, Jay found himself in the safe confinement of his bedroom. He closed the door and looked over to Erin, who was sat on his bed, propped up against the headboard.
"Hey," She rasped softly. She looked as tired as he felt.
"I miss you."
She smiled gently, tilting her head slightly. "I'm right here." Her eyes lingered briefly on the doorframe behind him. "How long do you have?"
"Thirty seconds?" He said, disgruntled.
"Well then," She cocked her head for him to come over and join here, despite the fact their clock was ticking. "Better make it count."
The second he was in her vicinity she kissed him; light and slow against his lips. The thirty seconds in his mind had disappeared and suddenly, there was no time frame. There was only Erin kissing him, her palms against his chest, coaxing his heartbeat into an erratic thud.
When the seconds passed, when their time slot had ended, Erin forced a smile and pushed him back slightly.
"Knock 'em dead." She whispered.
She could feel herself slowly, surely drift into the realms of madness. Maybe it was knowing how close they were to being busted; but a bigger part of her felt as though it was the absence of Jay next to her.
With a sigh, she checked the time on her phone. Again.
Only minutes had passed; minutes that felt like hours to her. She tapped her foot absently as she let her eyes wander around Jay's room, believing there must be something she could occupy herself with.
The room was fairly bare, though. Mute colours made up the walls, with basic furniture filling the space. He was a neat guy - there was a place for everything and everything had a place.
Curiosity surged through her briefly, and without a second thought Erin let her boredom dominate her actions. She pulled open his bedside drawer in search of a book, at this point not caring how boring it may be.
The search proved futile, so she moved onto the lower drawer. It creaked as she heaved it open, but she felt some of her sanity return at the literature staring up at her. She grabbed the book, not even looking at the title before moving to close the drawer.
She stopped in her tracks.
She felt the breath catch in her throat and her hands involuntarily went slack, dropping the book with a thud onto the solid hardwood floors.
All eyes were on Jay at the sound, as though he had any idea what the bang that came from his room had been. He raised his eyebrow and gently placed his cards down.
"I'm gonna..." He pointed his thumb over his shoulder towards his bedroom and awkwardly got up, leaving his unfinished sentence dangling in the air.
He didn't know what Erin was doing to make such a thud, but as soon as he closed his bedroom door he had a very vivid idea.
"What the hell was-"
He stopped dead as his eyes went to Erin's hands. In the palm of one hand she held a small rectangular gift box. In the palm of the other, the lid.
"Tell me this is for another girl you're seeing." She only-partly joked - her commitment-phobia sinking in further with each passing second.
Jay sighed and rubbed his jaw, unsure of how to explain. As the words failed him, he sauntered over to her, his eyes going to the glistening necklace he'd purchased for her only a week before.
"You were snooping."
He was waiting for her to throw something back to him, something with snark and banter. But she was too absorbed in the jewellery in her hand to retaliate.
Halstead landed his hands on his hips while she looked to him, wanting an explanation.
"Your birthday's in a couple weeks." The corners of his lips twitched in the beginning of a smile.
"I told you that you didn't have to-"
"I know." He said, taking the box from her hands and collecting the necklace in his fingertips. He took a step behind her and swept away her soft waves with his hand, the back of his fingers moving gently against the back of his neck. He brought the necklace round her front and fastened it at the back.
"Just consider this the start of me making it up to you."
And when she turned, he could see it in her eyes that this was real. That, even hiding in his room - a locked away secret, this was still the realest thing he'd ever had.
Without warning, she swept him into her arms. She held him close and tucked her head against his shoulder, their breathing being the only thing between them. They stayed like that for a second longer, before both realising that soon enough, a search party would be sent for Halstead.
Erin pulled away and let her palms rest against either side of his neck.
And for a single second, that was all that mattered.
"Alright, that's it." Dawson said with a sigh, leaning back in his chair. "You've cleaned me out."
Ruzek chimed in, too. "Yeah, I feel that. I better call Kim and tell her we're eating nothing but microwave burritos for the next couple of months."
Atwater let out a deep chuckle as he too folded, leaving only Halstead and Voight in the ring. The ring was, of course, metaphorical; although Jay certainly felt like he and Hank were on the brink of a fistfight most days.
"What do you say, Halstead?" Hank said smugly behind his endless pile of chips. "You think you got a shot?"
Jay hardened his jaw as his eyes went to his cards. A pretty good hand. No - a great hand. Very possibly a better hand than his Sergeant's. The thought of that brought a smirk to his face.
Yet, a second after his thoughts were on winning, his mind went to Erin. And suddenly the desire to upstage Voight at his own game was beaten by his desire to finally end the night.
Jay brought his lips into a genuine smile, dropping his cards to the table. "Not tonight."
So Hank cleaned up. His smug grin only grew in size as the chips and cards were gathered, but Jay didn't mind. Because slowly, Dawson got to his feet. Atwater grabbed his coat and Ruzek collected his DVDs. And although there were a few beers that needed to be finished, the fifteen minutes it took to shove everyone out his front door seemed to fly by.
"This was fun, Jay. Don't be a stranger." Antonio said as the group made their way down the corridor.
"You still got a lot of bailed-on-plans to make up for." Kevin reminded him, to which Adam nodded in agreement.
Voight let a low chuckle as they neared the end of the corridor, their voices booming off the walls. "Hey, I ain't objecting." He rattled his poker set and chuckled again. "Like taking candy from a bunch of overgrown babies."
Halstead laughed with the rest, shutting the door with a heavy slam when his guests finally left. His shoulders heaved in a great sigh in the singular second he granted himself before practically running to his bedroom.
The door was flung open and he stormed to his bed, dropping his body instantly to the comfort of the matches. He let his eyes close as he relinquished a groan - a groan of relief that he was finally where he wanted to be all night.
"At last." He mumbled against the pillow.
He heard Erin laugh beside him, the sound warming every cold part of him. Her gentle touch went to his cheek, stroking the skin in a hypnotic manner.
"It's okay." She whispered, her voice sending shivers down his spine. It was the voice he'd been waiting his whole life for. "You were worth the wait."
And he got the feeling that she wasn't just talking about that night.
She ran her touch down the line of his jaw and back up again before settling her body comfortably into his side. They fell into an easy silence before her shaky words cut through the darkness.
"I'd take this." She rasped. "I'd take a night where I get you for five minutes every hour than an entire evening with anybody else."
He rolled onto his side and opened his light blue eyes into hers. Her eyes were smiling, as though wonderstruck by the realisation she'd come to.
"I love you." She said, the words slicing through every part of him.
He broke into a grin. Maybe, he thought, the biggest grin he'd ever made.
"I love you, too."
He reached up to cup the side of her face as she laughed, and he couldn't help but thumb her dimples.
"I've got a couple of beers in my fridge and a backrub with your name on it. How does that sound?" He whispered, their face inches from one another.
"That sounds long overdue." She breathed back, catching his lips in a soft kiss just before he up and raced to the kitchen.
As Jay strode through his living room, he ignored the mess of bottles and scattered chairs. He headed straight to the two beers calling his name and brought them back to his room without a second to spare.
With a beer in each hand, he wore a smile as he re-entered his bedroom. He stopped in his tracks at the sound of Erin's deep breathing, and at the sight her eyes fluttering with each breath, he knew she was fast asleep.
He couldn't help but smile.
The beers took comfort on his dresser, and the massage had been put on hold. A much more appealing alternative was Jay bringing the duvet over Erin, and crawling into the warmth to hold her sleeping form against him. His breathing synced with hers in seconds, and before he knew it, Jay was joining his partner in a deep sleep.
And his last stream of consciousness was left only to the simple realisation that he would take a night of relentless antics and distractions every evening for the rest of his life if it meant ending the night with Erin wrapped in his arms. She was worth the wait.
Thank you for reading!