Disclaimer: I do not own any part of Stargate Atlantis or the awesome characters.

Spoilers: season 4

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Chapter 10

After several weeks of procrastination, Dr. Keller found time to make the final security change in the infirmary hoping to sever the last open access to the drug supply. Jennifer thanked the maintenance worker as she accepted the new keys for the supply room door. One more thing she could cross off her "to do" list. Now it's just a matter of wait and see concerning the missing drugs. Hopefully the tighter security would put a stop to all the pilfering.

Locating Marie, Jennifer gave her one of the new keys asking her to keep it in a safe place. She'd previously informed Marie of the inventory discrepancies and trusted the nurse implicitly with the new keys. Jennifer was tired of the whole mess and hoped it would be over soon … she had more important things to do than track down some opportunistic thief.

The Daedalus was docked on the east pier once again off loading supplies and beaming in new recruits. It seemed like just yesterday Jennifer was beamed into the ship's infirmary after her kidnapping ordeal. Hard to believe it'd actually been almost two months since the dog attack and yet she was still having nightmares. Although the bad dreams were no longer a nightly visitor they still woke her several times a week reminding her how fragile life was in the Pegasus galaxy.

Lately Jennifer had been so busy she'd taken most of her meals on the run or at her desk. Thankfully she'd have some relief in the infirmary with the new medical staff that just arrived. Usually she dreaded new staff orientation but with the promise of fewer hours and more help she was actually looking forward to it.

Colonel Carter crossed the floor of the infirmary finding Dr. Keller in her office.

"Good Morning, Jennifer," Samantha greeted as she entered the office and took a seat. "All ready for the day?"

"Can anyone ever really be ready for "new recruit day"?" she chuckled.

"Jennifer, I'm afraid I have some bad news for you," Carter began frowning. "I just found out several of your staff recruits backed out at the last minute. Unfortunately, the SGC didn't have enough time to fill their positions."

"When you say "several" how many are we actually talking about?" Jennifer asked sighing.

"I'm afraid you'll only be getting two doctors and two nurses," Samantha said grimly.

"Colonel, I have two doctors and one nurse scheduled to return on the Daedalus for some much earned leave time," Jennifer complained.

"I know Jennifer, I'm sorry but you'll have to cancel some of the vacation time until we can get more doctors here," she replied apologizing.

"I know it's not your fault but this is so frustrating," Jen growled. "We've been understaffed and overworked for so long I don't have the heart to cancel anyone's vacation. Are there any replacements lined up for the next Daedalus trip?"

"I'm not sure but I'll be happy to check for you. Jennifer, please don't spread yourself too thin. You already put in way too many hours and short staffing yourself will only make things worse. We need you functioning at a hundred percent," Samantha said firmly. Carter worried Jennifer wasn't taking the down time she needed. She'd been through a lot already this year and Samantha knew the damage that could inflict on one's emotional state … she'd been there herself too many times to count.

"I'll take a good look at my staffing schedule for the next couple of months and see if we can make it. I won't make any decisions until I know for sure if we have any personnel coming next trip," Jennifer answered wearily.

"I want to be a part of this decision so please let me know your plans before you send anyone back on the Daedalus. I'll find out if the SGC has any medical personnel waiting in the wings and get back to you tomorrow afternoon," Colonel Carter replied. She reached over squeezing Jennifer's hand as she stood to leave.

Jennifer hadn't felt this discouraged for quite some time. Things just kept piling up on her and she was beginning to feel the strain. A good cry would do wonders but it'd have to wait. The first batch of new recruits was expected any minute.

Fourteen hours later Dr. Keller ushered her last patient out of the infirmary with her customary "Welcome to Atlantis". Looking around she sighed surveying all the clean up that still needed to be done before morning. Hopefully there would be a few support personnel coming with her new doctors and nurses.

Technically, she'd been off duty for several hours. "Too bad I'm not being paid by the hour," she laughed to herself. Jennifer knew she should go get something to eat but her appetite left hours ago. She decided to take a long break and clean up later.

Arriving at her quarters, Jennifer changed her clothes and headed toward the transporter. She hadn't taken any time for herself all week and felt the need for some exercise. Exiting the transporter near the south pier she began a slow jog on one of her favorite circuits along the outer parts of the city.

Colonel Carter wandered into the mess hall needing a little pick me up. She filled her coffee mug and grabbed a cinnamon roll before sitting down with Rodney, Teyla and Sheppard. The team was enjoying a late dinner together after dealing with recruits all day.

"Colonel Carter, it is good to see you this evening," Teyla said smiling.

"Thank you, it's certainly been a long day," Carter replied.

Ronon and Lorne walked up taking seats across from each other.

"How'd the demonstration go?" Sheppard asked looking at Ronon and his 2IC.

"We wowed them and managed to stay out of the infirmary," Lorne replied grinning.

"Only because you wouldn't let me take some challenges," Ronon grumbled glaring at Lorne.

"Play nice boys," Sheppard said. "You'll get to play with the recruits tomorrow," he added smirking at Ronon.

"Has anyone seen Jennifer lately?" Teyla asked looking around the table.

"Now that you mention it, I haven't seen her in the mess hall in weeks," Lorne offered.

"I saw her this morning and she looked tired. Unfortunately, I was the bearer of bad news. She won't be getting the personnel she was hoping for," Samantha explained.

"Well that's not good news," Sheppard grumbled. "I thought she had help coming."

"We had several people back out at the last minute with no time to find replacements," Carter answered. "I'll be working with her tomorrow to hopefully find a solution to the staffing problem."

"I'll find her later and see how she's doing," Sheppard said.

"It's hard to find people willing to sign long contracts," Rodney offered never looking up from his data pad. "The SGC should think about offering a bigger benefits package."

"Well, I for one would like to see Jennifer take more time to rest," Teyla suggested.

"I agree, I'm hoping to find some relief when we go over schedules tomorrow," Carter replied. "Get some rest everyone, tomorrow looks to be another busy day." Samantha smiled as she headed to the coffee dispenser for a refill on her way back to her office.

"Lorne, keep an eye on things … think I'll go find Doc and she how's she doing. I'll be on the radio," Sheppard instructed as he left the mess hall.

Sheppard worked his way through all the usual places he might find Jennifer starting with the infirmary.

"Marie, I was looking for Dr. Keller," Sheppard inquired as he approached the nurse.

"Good evening, Colonel, Dr. Keller took a break about an hour ago. I believe she plans on returning later tonight to help set up for tomorrow. Is there anything I can help you with?" Marie asked.

"No thanks, I'll track her down." Sheppard headed out moving toward her quarters. He knew he could probably raise her on the radio but wanted to actually see how she was doing. The radio would make it less personal allowing her to make excuses and he really wanted to see her.

After checking her quarters, the gym and several balconies Sheppard was running out of places to look.

"McKay, this is Sheppard, please respond," John called.

"Go ahead," Rodney answered.

"Rodney, I need you to locate Doc for me."

"Give me a minute … she's in the reading room. Huh, I didn't think anyone ever used that room," Rodney said surprised.

"Thanks, Rodney. Umm … where exactly?"

"South pier level 22," Rodney snickered knowing Sheppard had never been to the room.

"Thanks, Sheppard out."

John made his way to the reading room wondering why Jennifer was hiding out here of all places. Entering, his eyes took a few minutes to adjust to the low lighting. Looking around, John spotted Jennifer sitting in an easy chair at the back of the room in her favorite position … knees drawn up to her chest. John squatted down in front of the chair placing his hands on her knees.

"Doc," Sheppard called quietly. "Jennifer, are you okay?" John reached up and lifted her chin. "Hey …," John softly whispered looking into her eyes.

"Hey," Jennifer replied wiping the tears off her face. "You do realize this is the reading room?" she said smiling.

"Well, I confess this is my first time here," he slowly smirked. "Come here," John said taking her hand and pulling her out of the chair. He walked over to the couch motioning for Jennifer to take a seat as he sat down beside her.

"Okay Doc, what's going on?" Sheppard quietly asked.

"Would you believe I'm spending a little quiet time reading?" Jennifer asked raising her eyebrow.

"Nice try," he laughed.

"Well, would you believe I'm over worked, overwhelmed, a bit discouraged and needed a quiet place to have a good cry?" Jennifer asked rather bluntly.

"Now that I'd buy," Sheppard grinned. "Your secret's safe with me," John added putting his arm around her. "I'm all yours, cry away."

"Did you hear about my doctors … or maybe I should say lack of doctors?" Jennifer grumbled. "I've infirmary staff ready to leave on the Daedalus and I don't want to cancel their leave. Then there's the inventory problem, eager new recruits and the ever present worry of being stuck with an empty dance card."

"I'm not going to even pretend to understand the whole dance card thing," Sheppard said frowning. He found himself gently running his fingers over Jennifer's arm tracing the fresh scars from the dog bites. "Don't forget dogs and running for your life." John added.

"And clowns … let's not forget clowns." Jennifer chuckled.

"Hey … this is your melt-down, leave my clowns out of it," Sheppard ordered playfully scowling.

Slowly the door to the room opened and several new recruits entered on their self imposed tour of the city. They walked further into the room looking around at the bookshelves and teasing each other about hooking up with a librarian or possibly a lonely bookworm. As they neared the back of the room the men stopped in their tracks and stood at attention in front of their commanding officer.

"At ease, men," Sheppard said. "I'll ask you to give us the room. Feel free to explore more tomorrow, gentlemen."

"Yes sir," they responded leaving immediately.

As soon as the door closed, they both burst out laughing.

"I don't know what I'm laughing at. My reputation's in the toilet after this," Jennifer groaned. "Can I add this to my melt down?"

"Seriously Doc, how are you doing with the nightmares?" John asked as he ran his fingers over the dog bites again.

"I've sort of put it on the back burner for a while. I know I probably need to spend some time and work through it but I'm not quite ready to do that right now. But I will soon," Jennifer confessed.

"Let me know if there's anything I can do," Sheppard offered.

"Thanks, Colonel. I appreciate you and your friendship," Jennifer replied quietly.

"Okay, now it's time to go get you something to eat … I insist," Sheppard said firmly as he pulled Jennifer up off the couch.

"Actually, I need to get back to the infirmary and give Marie a hand cleaning and setting up for orientation in the morning," Jennifer explained.

"Tell you what, you come with me and eat something and I'll come help you and Marie set up. Deal?" John asked as he moved her toward the door.

"Deal," she agreed knowing his offer was more of an order. Jennifer couldn't remember the last time she'd sat down and eaten a real meal. "Maybe there'll still be some fruit cups," she said causing Sheppard to grin.

The three of them had the infirmary set up and ready for orientation in no time flat. Jennifer and Marie thanked the Colonel profusely for his assistance knowing he made it possible for the women to get to bed at a decent time.

John began thinking about Jennifer as he left the infirmary heading toward his quarters. He couldn't remember the last time he'd let anyone get close to him and wondered if that's what was happening between him and the young doctor. The more he thought about it the more he realized it was probably more an enjoyment of having someone to look after and protect. He hadn't felt "needed" by anyone for quite some time. He decided it was just a matter of enjoying her company on a friendship level. She brought him a measure of contentment he hadn't had for quite some time. And if anyone needed looking after it was Dr. Keller especially off world, he chuckled to himself.