Zoe
"It's fine. Just, please, tape it up. I swear its fine." I begged him and he didn't budge. I spent the next week doing conditioning and yoga. The days were long and uneventful. The nights were far too short but, oh, so passionate…that is, of course, after he got home from patrol.
Today the bruises are all but healed. The heat and swelling are gone from my ankle and I've gotten up before him to be sure I can prove that I am ready.
Leo's in the dojo already. He's usually there first everyday and when they train he's usually last to leave.
"Good morning, Zoe," he greets me in between the pummeling of a punching bag.
"Morning, Leo." I smile and hand him a bottle of water, happy to return the thoughtful gestures they show me every day.
"Thanks," he takes it from me and sips it. "How's the ankle today?"
"I'm here to test it out actually. Of course if it was up to me, I'd have been back to work four days ago, but-"
Leo nods, "He's just looking out for you. You'd be out a lot longer if-"
"You are such a big brother," I roll my eyes and he smiles.
I roll out my yoga mat and warm up.
Thirty minutes later I'm standing in the corner of the dojo setting myself up for a tumbling pass. I run two steps and do a round-off and two back handsprings and end with a back tuck. When I land clean I look over at Leo, only to find Raphael standing next to him. They're both looking at me in such a way I know it has nothing to do with my gymnastics.
Leo won't say anything about my work when Raph is in the dojo. He respects the Sensei and student relationship too much to interfere, so I can't gauge his thoughts. Mike is on the punching bag and slows the rhythm of his punch glancing from me to Raph. Donnie finishes his kata in the opposite corner and looks from me to Raph. Splinter is working with Donatello and I feel his eyes on me.
What the hell is going on?
"Guys, get your weapons." Raph watches me freeze in place and makes his way over to me. The brothers disappear with ninja stealth, returning armed.
The blood drains from my face as my hands grow clammy and my body begins to tremble. What if I lose control? What if I hurt someone? What if I'm not ready?
Raph lays a gentle hand on my arm, "Zoe. Zo- Look at me."
I shudder and my eyes fly up to his, "I'm not-"
"Yes, you are," he nods his head yes while I'm shaking mine no.
The five of them, The Hamato Family, stand with me and I'm torn inside, a mess of questioning myself and my readiness, at the same time adoring the lot of them for believing in me.
My eyes dart over to Mike, flickering to his utility belt where his chucks now rest. He smiles at me, "You've got this Z. No worries, Babe."
I look to Donatello, holding his bo staff. He nods, "You're ready, Zoe."
Surely, Leo would disagree. But as my eyes meet his noble blues he nods his head, "You are ready, Zoe."
Somebody please disagree. Please tell me no. Please?
My gaze shifts to Splinter who I know Raphael will have already consulted with.
Splinter reaches out a gentle paw and takes my hand. I close my eyes, try to quiet my own inner turmoil and sense all the emotions of everyone around me, trust, confidence, nobility, honor, wisdom, faith, safety, patience and love. Slowly, my breathing regulates, my resolve steels, and my heart calms. Splinter slips his paw from my hand and I feel the space around me open up. I sense Raphael right in front of me. Waiting.
I open my eyes and look at him. He is sure. I can see it. "Raph."
He nods, "We believe you're ready, Zoe. Do you?"
With slightly lingering doubts, brought on by my fears, I reluctantly agree.
He smiles, "So Zoe, what is your weapon of choice?"
When I laugh he seems surprised. "I actually forgot it at my apartment that night I left." Abruptly, I stop laughing at look at Raph in fear that I've left my precious weapon there and that it will only confirm to the enemy my whereabouts, "Oh my god, Raphael I-"
He shakes his head, "Zoe, I don't want you to worry about anything else right now. I need you to be here in this room with me, right now. Focused. What was it?"
I know my eyes are gleaming, "It was a compound bow… like no other, made especially for me. It was light and beautiful, with the most perfect strands."
Raphael grins, "Leo."
Leonardo reaches over his shoulder and pulls forth my bow, "Did it look like this, Zoe?"
I can't hide my surprise or my glee to have it in my hands. I run my fingers over the fine strands adoringly. "I know most kunoichi use a long or a short bow but for me, there is no other."
"You'll probably need these." Donnie hands me my quiver, loaded with arrows.
"When did you guys?" I look at each of them and they are all smiling.
"Oh, hey, this is yours too." Mike hands me my weapons bag.
"What's your close combat weapon of choice, Z?" Raph asks.
I laugh, "Well if you can't tell by now, I'm not usually a close combat girl." So very opposite you, Raphael.
We exchange a knowing glance.
"I'm trained for most all weapons, but I like my tessen."
"Zoe. We're going to start with katas. Over the next week, you'll train with a different weapon, each day. Then we'll move on to sparring."
My eyes dart to his face and he nods. He's really sure. How does he know?
"We practice alone," he says finally.
"Good luck, Zoe," Leo smiles at me.
"You will do well my child," Splinter nods and leaves with Leo.
"You've got this, Babe." Mike grins, "See you at lunch?"
I looked at Raph and he nods his approval.
"Sure thing, Mike."
"Good luck, Zoe," Donnie waves at me as he leaves.
Raphael looks at me, "Let's get started."
Raphael
It has been six weeks. One week of katas turned into three because she kept losing her cool at first. Although she never passed out. I always talked to her and yet somehow by the end of every kata for the first week, she was wrapped in my arms and I was bringing her back. She had nightmares that week, too. When she'd wake up, I'd try to get her to tell me about them, about that place. But she wasn't ready to talk about it. By the second week, I was still talking to her and she was finishing katas without the breakdown. By week three, I'd stopped talking and she was solid.
Week four I began sparring with her while talking to her and I think she could tell I was going easy on her. Every day she practiced with a different weapon but she used her tessen daily, too. I thought she was proficient with the other weapons but most graceful and one with the tessen. It was like an extension of her arm, her hand, part of her, the way a weapon should be. Week five I stepped it up but was still holding back. I let her spar with Mike three times that week. She got her ass handed to her two of those three times.
Week six has been interesting. We're five days in and she's fought Mike and beat him four of those days. I'm pleased, so today she spends with Donatello. If she does well next week I may let Leo spend a day with her. Maybe. Maybe even tomorrow…
Zoe
We're four hours into our training and Donnie has won most of the rounds. Okay, I've won one. I'm not feeling good. I'm tired, I'm slow and I know it. I'm also, well… mean today.
"Jesus Donnie, you busted my knuckles again! They're going to bleed through the damn bandages!" I launch my tessen past his head in frustration.
Donatello doesn't move. His eyes widen as the black metal fan whizzes past him, bouncing off the wall behind him.
"Zoe!" Raphael reprimands me.
There's an unprovoked rage burning at my insides as I turn on him, "What?! I didn't hit him!"
"Are you done?" Raph snaps.
Donatello waits patiently for instruction.
I roll my eyes, unable to fight the bizarre twists of emotions coursing through me. My blood is amped, electrified and coursing with frustrations that I can't name. In my head I know this behavior is wrong, and unfounded, yet I can't seem to contain the anger building and welling within. It's so strong I can feel the urge to hit someone belting through my forearm into my trembling fingers. This behavior is embarrassing and even though it's unacceptable, and I know it, I find myself surrendering to it, just on the brink of snapping.
"Zoe. Get yourself-"
I clench my teeth, telling myself not to speak, my hands ball into fists, and I know if I don't get out I'm going to do worse than through my weapon. I shake my head, "I need a break!"
Raphael looks stunned. I never ask for a break, ever. I have literally never asked him for a break. He's staring at me.
Donatello clears his throat, "I- I could use a break, too." He slips behind Raph and disappears from the dojo.
My emotions are all over the place and I'm furious right now. There's absolutely nothing for me to be mad about, I know that, I keep telling myself that, I don't understand why I feel this way, and all of those things only serve to fuel the wildfire singing my insides.
He's staring at me and I wish he'd stop.
"So, do I get a break or not?" I snarl.
It's not like me to disrespect him in the dojo. Why am I being so nasty? Why can't I contain it? How can I, if I don't understand where it's coming from? What is wrong with me?!
He nods but does not speak.
Snatching my tessen up from the floor, I drop it on the weapons table and leave the dojo on trembling legs. Something's wrong with me. I've been doing so well. What's happening? My hands are shaking as I struggle with the urge to pummel something or someone, my head is a sea of confusion, ebbing and flowing with the tides of rage I'm struggling to suppress. Running my tingling fingers over my face, I take a deep breath and know that I need to clear my head.
I grab a bottle of water from the fridge and Mike glances at me from the couch. "You okay, Zo? You look a little pale."
Michelangelo could be the perfect escape. If he manages to upset me then I need to seriously think hard about doing something drastic about myself. I plop down next to him hopefully, "I don't even know, Mike. I'm in the worst mood."
He offers me a compassionate smile and pats the space next to him on the couch. "Hang with me, Babe, but leave room for Leo, Space Heroes is coming on."
I scoot closer to him, nod and rest my head on his shoulder.
"Zoe?" Donatello's hand is on my arm and he shakes me gently. "Zoe?"
I open my eyes and realize I'd fallen asleep.
"What the hell? How long was I out?" I recognize Raph's red blanket draped over me and I'm stretched out on the couch with a pillow under my head.
"Three hours. Raph called off your training for today. He said we could hang out, if you wanted." I recognize Donnie's casual exam anywhere. If this is the brother Raph has sent after me, it's to make sure nothing's wrong.
"Where'd Mike go?" I eye Donatello suspiciously.
"He's in the dojo with Leo and Raph. They're sparring. I just finished up. I was hoping I could ask you some of those questions you promised me weeks ago."
I adore Donatello and Mike. They are both so approachable and easy to connect with. I suddenly feel very bad for the way I behaved earlier. I frown and he does too, "What's wrong, Zoe?"
"I'm sorry for the way I acted, Don. I don't know what- I just, I feel off today."
Don reaches out a hand to me, "Everybody has an off day, Zoe."
I shake my head, "Yeah. I'd be glad to answer your questions, Don."
"Step into my lab, My Lady." He smiles and I take his hand, letting him guide me from the couch.
I'd walked by Donatello's lab many times, but it was really his private space and unless you needed him, we all stayed out of it. He has two rolling chairs fashioned out of skateboards that I think are awesome. He points to one, "Sit there, if you want." He sits in the other one, rolls up to his desk and starts pecking away at his laptop.
I sit in the chair and roll around a little bit for fun, twirling, and sliding, pushing the ground away and spinning. It occurs to me the clicking of keys has stopped and all I hear are the wheels of the chair rolling across the floor. I stop, look up and realize Donnie is watching me.
"Sorry," I blush.
"Sometimes you act like, Mikey," he smiles.
"I'm ready now, I promise." I sit up straight and try to pay attention.
"Okay, first question. What is the name of the facility that you were in?"
I'd lain shivering on the metal table, it was cold, and the back of the gown they'd given me hung open, exposing me to the frigid steel that pressed flush against my flesh. I closed my eyes, commanded myself to obey, and permit them to apply restraints, for the consequences for misconduct were often worse than the experiments they'd subject me to, and in the end they always got what they wanted anyway. I opened one eye to the guard standing by the door holding a cattle prod, took a deep breath and knew, there were four more just like him standing on the other side of that door. Maybe today wouldn't be so bad, I'd told myself, with clammy hands and a violently shivering body. I knew better. My breath came in short pants as I heard the screams of an animal subject pierce the walls adjacent.
"Shelton Research Campus. It was an animal testing lab." I frown, remembering those sounds, and the horrific test that followed. That was one day that, in reflection, would've been worth the fight.
"Zoe, are you okay?"
"Are you sure the enhancement will work?"
"Set the line. It will work."
The horrific green liquid inched its way toward my vein and when it hit my blood I'd thought they were killing me. The pain struck the breath from me, my back arched, my body seized, jerked and twitched while I remained horrifically conscious and vulnerable to it all.
I swallow the bile I can feel inching it's way upward, my fingers are tingling and my heart has picked up pace. For a moment I think that I might be sick, but I try to focus on Donnie, scolding myself for letting my mind hold so much control over me today.
"Yes- Yes. What else, Don?"
"Where is it located?"
Once the seizures stopped the next phase of testing would begin. What powers had I acquired? They'd be coming for me soon, to take me back to the exam room, where I would stay until they had the information they wanted. I pressed my face against the bar covered window, felt the iron against my forehead as I stared out at the solemn winter sky and held my breath, trying to contain the vibrations thrumming through my body. An endless blanket of snow had covered the ground, one flawless flake at a time and I thought it perfect, pure, unaltered. Not at all like me. My breath fogged up the glass and I pressed my fingers against the thin pane, the friction made a squeaking sound and my fingers tingled with the newfound energy I'd obtained, yet was unable to understand. Yearning. I had longed to be free, to know what lie outside those walls, and after what they'd done to me, what I heard rumored they still had planned, I set my teeth on edge, took a determined breath and felt the glass cracking beneath the tip of my finger. I knew it was only a matter of time.
"Gardiners Island." I swallow the pool of saliva building in my mouth. I'm still nauseous. This conversation is making me sick. Why? Why so much visual, why am I unable to disassociate words with the damn visual memories today? I keep letting myself go there. My control is slipping, my stomach is roiling and all I want is for it to stop. I'm gripping the edge of my seat, struggling to slow my breath.
"What is the name of the scientist?"
"Dr. Shelton, I'm Baxter Stockman, I'm here to administer the mutagen. I understand you are the head of Project Evolution?"
"I am. This is Zoe, the star female specimen of our project. She's just shy of a masterpiece. Her siblings however, aren't fertile." Shelton frowned, "as far as we've seen so far, anyway. Zoe, however, will serve us well. She's a perfect genetic match for our panther hybrid, but first she will serve the rest of the elite team. We'll train her offspring and expand our division with a line born not made. From there we should be able to work out any flaws and make any necessary improvements."
Shelton stroked my abdomen as if I were a horse off to the breeding shed, my stomach lurched, my skin crawled, and I knew that was the night, I was getting the hell out.
"Isaac Shelton." It's not working I'm not able to regulate my heartbeat, I'm breathing faster, through my mouth now, and I feel my body shivering.
"What animals comprise your DNA?"
I look in Don's eyes and I know this is an important question for him but I'm embarrassed and I blush. At least the experiment that created me was one I couldn't remember. I swallow the welling pressure of bile in my throat, lick my lips and make a request. "Don't… don't tell anyone else Donnie, okay?"
He nods, "You have my word, Zoe. Unless it's life or death, I make exceptions in those situations."
"Fine," I agree. I look at the floor in shame, "They thought if they mixed DNA from a land animal, a flight animal, and a sea animal that the human would inherit some of their abilities. They hoped for flight, speed on the ground and in water… and they wanted a hunter…. I don't know what species of aquatic life is in my DNA but I know there is some, I believe they used a red tail hawk for the flight animal but obviously I can't fly. And they used a cheetah for the land animal and hunter."
"Did you inherit any abilities from them?" He's typing all of this is in his computer and hanging on my every word and while I'm grateful for the brief reprieve of dark memories, I'm wondering why the nausea isn't fading, but growing.
The room sways slightly and I rub my neck, shifting uncomfortably. "I can see in the dark really well, I think that's from the cheetah, and I see in detail from the hawk. My bones are very light, that's the hawk, too. I'm fast on the ground, again the cheetah. I can swim like a fish so whatever animal that is."
"What was the name and purpose of your project?"
"You know everything has a deadline Shelton. One masterpiece does not an army make!" Shelton's employer, an unnamed man with a burned face, only one eye, and dressed in a business suit, glared at me. "Even if she is a magnificent specimen, Project Evolution has yet to produce anything I can sell. It seems we are dependent on this creature to produce a viable generation for us. This is unacceptable. You have two years to remedy the situation!"
"But Master, her offspring would only be toddlers at that age, hardly warriors."
The one eyed man turned, outstretched his arm, wrapped each finger slowly around Shelton's neck, flexed them and the scientists face grew bright red. The businessman's voice sent a chill through me, "That's your problem not mine. Take Stockman and fix the problem."
"Yyyyou have the other elites," Shelton squeaked out, trying in a futile effort to pry the man's hand from his neck.
The businessman snorted, "I'll keep them too. I need you to make something," the man looked me over, "I can sell."
"Project Evolution. To investors it was an animal hybridization research project. They were evolving species for the pet market. That gave him licensing access to tons of exotic animals desired in the pet trade. Isaac secretly was a Frankenstein mixing animal DNA with human to try and create a super-human, an evolved species. He wanted to create, sell, and market the ultimate weapon."
"What kind of testing did they do?"
I wince and lick my lips, remembering the searing neon liquid.
The sounds leaving my body surpassed what had reached my ears from neighboring walls. I felt like I was melting from the inside out, helpless to do anything to stop it. If I survived this, I managed the thought through the foam building around my mouth, my eyes dried like sandpaper, my fingers curling involuntarily into my palms, I promised myself, it was the last they'd touch me without an all out fight. The. Last. Time.
My stomach lurches and my chest burns with stomach acid determined to erupt. "Don, can we skip that one?"
"Sure, Zoe," He nods. "May I take blood and hair samples?"
"Yes Don, you can have a hair and blood sample." He sounds so textbook, it's almost as if, "Are you reading these questions off a list?"
He's so serious when he looks at me and nods, "Yes I am." He makes a few notes and turns to me, "Last question… for now. I may have more after I do your blood work and analyze your hair sample." He bobs his head like he was trying to see if I was okay with that.
This whole thing has been just shy of everything I thought it would be. I'm struggling not to be ill, he's only asking me questions, he doesn't know how they affect me. I hope he never knows, how horrible it can be, to be so… vulnerable in the hands of the enemy who created you. "It's fine, Donnie."
"Are there others like you?"
My face falls. I feel it. I feel my heart plummet as I slide down in the chair.
"Go! Zoe, go! With what they have planned, you can't afford to stay here. Go! I'll be okay. I'll distract them! Go!"
Knowing she was right. She would survive, she did not have my fate before her, I lowered myself into the dark, narrow space, into the vile slop below, slid the manhole cover over my head and wove my way through the maze of tunnels with only a dying penlight to guide me. The entire three days it took me to gather the courage to surface, the only visual I had in my increasingly pitch surroundings were the memories of my friend… and every crime I'd committed against my own kind in recent months.
"Push her harder!" Shelton screamed at my Sensei. "We need a weapon, not a damned hero! Our funds will dry up if she doesn't meet these criteria!" he smacked a clipboard, thrust it into my sensei's chest and released it. My Sensei let the board fall to the floor then thrust his palm into Shelton's chest sending the scientist flying into the wall behind him.
"She'll be ready! Test day is tomorrow. I won't let her out till she does it. We'll break her. She'll kill every time from now on. You, just make sure your part is done!"
Break me they did, my own families blood was on my hands. I held my trembling scarred arms out where I could see the razor fine lines, marring my biceps, adorning my forearms and backs of my hands. They were everywhere, those paper fine marks. Punishment for disobedience, every single one of them, for every time I'd refused to kill. Only, when my own family turned on me, it was then, and only then, when my life was on the line that I'd snapped. The deaths of my own kind were as fresh in my mind, as the blood flowing in my veins, the very acts they'd put on me, the very thing that sent me to the place only Raphael had been able to pull me from.
"Donnie, there was one of me for every letter of the alphabet. I even had a twin, Zaire. She didn't make it." I'm sweating, my heart pounding, because I killed her. Me. But I will never tell him that, not when I want this place and the Hamato clan for my home, my family, and I know there's no way they could ever forgive such a horrific crime. I struggle to school my face into something less distraught, but fail, feeling my body grow heavy when I manage to tell him, "The only other one of my generation that there is left, is Exodus." I feel tears pool in my eyes and Donnie hands me a tissue. "I left her behind, Don. I left her there… I left her..."
I'm going to be sick, I can't hold it down anymore. It's as if I'm in one of those nightmares where I'm running but I'm not getting anywhere, my heartbeat has become erratic, I'm coated in perspiration and with one hard lurch of my stomach I jump up and bolt from the room, almost knocking Mike over on my way to the bathroom.
I think I'm never going to stop retching. I haven't eaten much, so it isn't like there was a lot to empty, but I dry heave until I think I'm going to die. I curl up on the floor of the bathroom, lean against the door and sob. My friend's beautiful face, sweet blue eyes, pale blonde hair, she fills my closed eyelids and I hurt to be rid of her. I'm so sorry I left you Exodus.
There's a soft knock on the door, "Zoe, should I get Raph?"
God no. I'm a hot mess. "No, Don. I'm sorry. I'm fine. I'll be right out." I stand up on shaky legs and splash my face with water. I look in the mirror. My eyes are a swollen mess. I rinse out my mouth, dry my face with a hand towel then venture back to the lab but Donnie isn't in there.
"Needle room, Zoe. I'm in the needle room," Don calls from down the hall.
I walk in the first aid room and Mike is sitting on the exam table getting a cut on his arm stitched up. "You okay, Z?"
I rub my eyes and put on my best smile. "Yeah, Mikey, I'll be alright," I say, and my voice sounds feeble even to me. That's enough of this I have to pull myself together. I point to his arm, "What happened to you?"
"This is nothin, I got a little too close to Leo's katana."
Donnie finishes up with Mike and points to a chair next to his supply shelf. He pulls out his blood drawing kit, a pair of scissors, some bandages and baggies.
"Gees, Don, what're ya gonna do to her?" Mike starts poking at the supplies and Donatello swats his hand.
"You're done Mikey, get outta here." Mike keeps poking at various items on the counter his hands bumping into Donnie's. "Mike- Mike- Get Out!" He shoves his brother out the door.
Donatello looks at me, "I'm sorry I upset you, Zoe."
I shake my head, embarrassed that answering some basic questions caused me to have a damn breakdown. "I'm sorry I ran out on you, Don."
He smiles his sweet shy smile and points to my hand, "Let me clean and bandage your knuckles again. Then I'll do the blood draw and I'll let you cut your own hair."
He tends to my knuckles carefully and is proficient with the needle for the blood draw. I snip a lock off from the underside of my hair. The events of the day have left me drained. My stomach growls. And apparently, hungry. "I guess you're eager to play with all of these goodies, huh?"
Donatello nods, "Do you want to watch me work?"
I shake my head, "No Don, not really. I'm gonna go get a snack."
Donnie seems surprised, but quickly recovers with a smile. "All right, Zoe. See ya at dinner?"
"Sure, Don." I yawn and make my way to the kitchen.
Donatello
"This is fascinating. Her blood is amazing, the red blood cells, the platelets… her genetic makeup is remarkable," I mumble to myself as I examine at Zoe's blood under a microscope. I'm running a full analysis and I can't wait to read the results. I wish they'd hurry up.
One of my printers clicks into gear, and after twenty four hours of waiting, it's finally running my dream printout. I can't wait, I can't wait, I can't wait. This is amazing, she's amazing! Only two like her in the all the world. I tear off the report and start scanning over everything.
"Hmmm, that can't be right. I better run it again."