Authors Note: There's like... A lot on prom night in this, so this chapter has part and the rest will be continued because long chapters are eyesores to me. I cant stand it. Just so you know there's more on prom night after this chapter.
Thanks for the reviews!
Chapter 10- All the Swiss Cheese.
After a busy day of going to school and yet again visiting Kyle, Stan lazily plopped down on the bed in his room. He picked up the phone on his night stand and dialed up the Testaburger house, wanting to get his last errand out of the way for the night.
Wendy had been sitting at her vanity table, brushing out her shiny hair when the phone rang. She quickly tossed the brush to the carpet and grabbed the phone before her parents could. "Hello?"
"Hey Wendy," Stan said into the receiver.
"Stan!" She exclaimed, a little more enthusiastic than she originally intended. "Hi."
He smiled a bit, glad she was still happy to hear from him after he basically dumped her twice. "How's it going?"
"Good." She answered honestly. "Cartman helped me free the frogs from the biology room."
Stan blinked. He put a finger in his ear a minute to check for wax, positive he'd heard her incorrectly. "He did? Whoa. How much did that cost you?"
She held back her laughter. "Nothing. I didn't even know he was going to do it until he did it."
"Really? Huh. That's cool I guess...I'm doing good too. Kyle's getting better and everything."
She nodded, forgetting the fact he couldn't see her. "I heard about what happened. I wanted to go see him, but I didn't know if... I wasn't sure how he would react if any of it had to do with me."
"I know," he said understandingly. "It's cool though. His mom's got him in therapy and he said he wouldn't do it again...He's coming back to school tomorrow, and we're even thinking about prom."
"... Are you guys seeing each other again?"
"Yeah...Actually, that's why I'm calling...I uh, I know we kinda said we'd do the prom together, but um...you know..."
"I know," She spoke soothingly. "I already figured it was off, whether or not you were with anybody else. I never would have believed it would be like this a month ago. I had even bought a dress already."
"Oh. Well dude don't let that stop you from going or anything...I know Kenny wants to take you."
"Kenny?" She parroted incredulously.
"Well, he's an option at least."
"I already have a date, I'm going with Cartman." She confessed.
"...Really?" He snickered a bit. "Have fun then."
"What's so funny?" She demanded bitterly.
"Oh, nothing. It's just...Well the idea of you and Cartman..."
She twirled the top of a lotion pump. "Yeah...I...guess it's a pretty stupid idea, huh?"
"Maybe not" Stan admitted, his tone returning to a serious one. "As much as we hate to think of him like this, Cartman is human. He likes girls and stuff. He's just not exactly the perfect prom date. I mean, you guys can't go a day without insulting each other."
"Despite that, I really like him." She nearly laughed at her own words, though it would have been mirthless and dry. "I just... don't know if it's really worth the risk. You know Cartman, you know him better than me. What if he's only taking me as part of a scheme to humiliate me?"
Stan shrugged. "If he is, I'll kick his ass for you. If you really like him though, for whatever strange reason that might be, I think you should take the risk."
She bit her lower lip, contemplating it. "But what if... I take the risk too far?"
"What do you mean?"
She sighed and leaned back in her chair. "Can I tell you something seriously, without you laughing at me?"
"Yeah," Stan assured her. He could tell she was quite serious about this.
"I haven't really...been around Cartman that much. You know, not fighting. I've only kissed him twice, but both times have kind of gotten out of hand. The first time wasn't so bad because I left right away, but the second time moved onto touching and...the thing that scares me is I didn't want to stop. That's never happened to me before, not even with you." She paused. "Correction; I have wanted to with you, but my thoughts were in order and I knew what I was thinking. I could stop it. With him, I can't."
Stan went silent, taking a moment to both take in the information and not laugh as he'd promised. "Passion is like that sometimes," Stan finally spoke. "Let's put it this way. When you kissed Cartman, it wasn't your first kiss right?"
"Are you really asking me that?" She hissed.
"I'm being rhetorical. What I mean is you liked kissing Cartman, but it doesn't mean you regretted kissing me before. You don't regret kissing me, or at least I hope not, because it's what you really wanted to do at the time. If you and Cartman end up...doing stuff...it'll be because you really want to. And if it doesn't work out and you find someone else you wanna do stuff with, you still shouldn't feel bad cuz at the time it was really special to you and stuff."
She frowned. "But don't you regret being with me?"
"No. Should I?"
"No," She paused. "No, I mean, I just figured you thought I was a lost cause. A waste of time of sorts."
"Huh? Wendy, I'd never think that about you. You're my friend. Things just didn't work out for us, but that doesn't make what we had any less important or memorable...It made us who we are you know?"
She sighed again, this time out of relief. "You can be such an asshole sometimes, Stan, but you have the kindest heart."
"...Thanks?"
She smiled secretly before letting it pass again. "I guess you're right. I wouldn't have any regrets if I just followed my heart, even if things didn't work out. But I would regret it if I did anything stupid and found out Cartman was just getting revenge."
"Totally. Following your heart's the best advice I've gotten about love...You've always been a smart girl though. If I know you, you won't go to bed with Cartman until you're absolutely sure...And like I said, if he fucks you over I'll kick his ass."
Her smile returned, full bloom. "Thanks, Stan."
"You're welcome. Good luck."
"You too," She replied. "Oh, and... Tell Kyle I'm glad he's doing better."
"I will." Stan smiled. "Maybe we'll see you guys at prom."
"Can I have a dance with you?"
Stan hadn't expected that, but saw no harm in it. It would certainly make him appear straight, if he and Kyle decided to remain closet cases. "Sure, why not?"
"I'm holding you to that." She warned. "Was there anything else you were calling for?"
"Not really...Oh, I guess if you know anyone that would wanna go with Kenny..."
She shook her head, mentally scanning all her friends. "Sorry to say the entire female population of South Park High knows about Kenny and his... conquests. No one is going to want to go with him."
"Oh well." Stan said, not caring too much about his hound of a friend and his self-destroyed reputation. "Guess I'll see you later then."
"I love you," She froze. "Uh, I guess old habits really do die hard." She apologized. "Goodnight."
Stan smiled, forgiving her slip of the tongue. "Later." He hung up.
Wendy closed her eyes, clicking her phone off slowly. She still missed Stan, to some extent. Her lashes fluttered open again reluctantly, and she crawled into bed a shut out the light. Sleep came with a smile, all thoughts filled amazingly...
of Cartman.
---
Kyle was back in school the next day, and there was much rejoicing! He and Stan had lunch alone together for the first time in a while. Kenny was off trying to find a date and Cartman was off not wanting to be around the lovey-dovey queers.
"I don't know why I wanted to come back so much." Kyle spoke now, his eyes coasting the cafeteria. "School sucks ass."
"True," Stan took a bite of food. "But your friends are here and you don't have to stay in bed all day. How's your therapy going?"
"I've never met anyone gayer in my life." He stated ironically. "This guy is a total pussy. He's always wanting me to tell him my god damned feelings. I never even tell you all my feelings. He pretends like he wants to be my best friend, but I know in reality he just wants money."
"Yeah, they're supposed to gain your trust and shit. Doesn't he know we're men? We don't talk about feelings...At least it's your parent's money being wasted."
Kyle rolled his eyes. "Anything to keep from getting locked up. But, you know, I guess it is helping a little bit. He is helping me understand how to better cope with things and stupid crap like that."
"That's good...You want some peas?"
Kyle pulled a gag face and scooted away. "I don't want any of this," He indicated his tray, which hadn't been touched. "I miss Chef."
Stan nodded, choking down his school lunch. "Yeah. Why'd he have to retire?"
"Because he's smart." Kyle pointed out, jabbing his plastic fork into something thick, sticky, and orange on his tray and hitting the handle with his fist, causing the goo to fly up and hit the front of Stan's shirt. Kyle immediately pointed and began laughing.
Stan grinned, flipping his lover off before grabbing a napkin to clean himself. "Jerk..."
"Did Kenny ever find a date?" He asked around snickers as he watched Stan rub the goo into an orange, rainbow shaped stain.
"I don't think so. His fault though."
"Yeah, I guess so. But I still can't help but feel sorry for the guy."
"Yeah," Stan said, thinking back to what Kenny told him about his partner. "He's a nice guy sometimes...We'll just make sure to hang out with him a lot during prom. Keep him company you know?"
Kyle nodded, finally giving up on his food and settling for his carton of chocolate milk. "Unless he starts touching or groping, and then he's on his own."
"Right...So you do wanna go to prom then?"
He shrugged. "Sure, I mean, we've always gone to these stupid school dances, right? We'll just have to get there sooner this time, before fat ass eats all the food again."
"Cool." He smiled and ate some more. After swallowing, Stan continued. "Are you sure you can handle it though? If we dance, which is kinda the point, people are gonna know. I don't care, but I don't wanna force you out or anything."
Kyle's slurping on his straw came to a halt. "Dance?" He repeated, the straw disturbing his speech before he yanked it out. "Whoa, no one said -anything- about -me- dancing."
Stan blinked. "Well, dude it's the prom. We have to dance a little."
Kyle shook his head vigorously. "I'm sorry, Stan. I know you're used to going with Wendy and you're used to dancing. But, I'm used to going and screwing around with Kenny and Cartman. I can't dance, Jews have no rhythm."
Stan took another bite of food. "Well, like I said, I don't wanna make you do something you don't wanna do. We could just hang out, or I could try to teach you to dance or something. Your choice..."
Kyle looked downward, heaving a heavy sigh. All the bad feelings still weren't gone, they lurked like a shadow and rained on him constantly. It seemed another storm was coming again, but he was damned and determined to fight it off this time. Either way he would disappoint Stan, by dancing and showing him another thing he wasn't good at that came to Wendy naturally, or not even try at all.
"I'll think about it." He finally decided not to decide.
"That's fine." Stan ate, not caring either way.
"I'm gonna get to class early. Need to catch up on homework." He excused himself as he rose from his seat.
"Okay. Later Ky'." Stan sat, finishing up the last of his food.
After exiting the cafeteria, Kyle pressed himself against the wall and closed his eyes. Maybe he -wasn't- quite ready to be back. Or maybe he just needed to stop being such a pussy.
---
The sky was clear and moonless the night of the prom. Naturally, everyone inside the school dressed up nicely, everyone having their own worries and expectations for the night. Everyone mingled with friends by the food table, waiting for a danceable song to come on.
"I hope you're happy woman," Cartman remarked to his date. "You took forever getting ready, like all chicks, and now all the Swiss cheese is gone!"
"Well, excuse me, but I don't think you would appreciate a date that looks like crap either." She shot back. "Like you really need any Swiss cheese anyway." She poked his stomach to emphasize her meaning.
Cartman rolled his eyes. "Oh, that's such a great comeback. At least I eat food. You probably just binge and purge like a super model you skinny bitch. And another thing, if you don't shut-" Cartman's ears perked up. "Ooh, I like this song! Come on let's dance!"
Wendy shook her head, eyes wide in total disbelief of her date as she allowed him to drag her along.
"...That's fucked up." Stan remarked about his ex and her new partner.
Kyle's eyes snapped in the direction of Stan's gaze. His stomach immediately clenched up as he took in Wendy. He had to admit, she looked damn fine tonight, and Stan was probably thinking the same thing. Especially with how easily she moved to the music.
"Everything's fucked up." Kyle mumbled to himself.
Stan took a cup, gathering himself some punch before turning his attention back to Kyle. "Did Kenny ever find a date?"
"I don't know, he's been so pre-occupied with finding one that I haven't seen him in a few days." His eyes roamed around. "Is he even here?"
"He will be...You know, you look really good in a tux."
Kyle was caught off guard by the remark. It took a moment before he smiled softly. "You really think so?" He frowned as he looked down at himself. "I feel like a gay-wad."
"So do I. I hate dressing up...I guess that makes me a hypocrite."
Kyle shrugged. "We're all guilty of it at some point."
Stan nodded and sipped his punch. "Lemme know if you change your mind about dancing. I'm gonna go hang out with Craig."
"Craig? Why Craig?" He asked before he could think about it.
Stan shrugged. "Why not Craig?"
Kyle's eyes narrowed dangerously. "That's just fine, Stan. Go hang out with Craig. I'm going to find Kenny or wait for him." He shoved passed his date violently, immediately getting swallowed up in the sea of teenagers.
Stan blinked, a tad surprised by Kyle's outburst. "God damn..." He made his way through the crowd, attempting in vain to catch up with his boyfriend. "Kyle? Kyle!"
As Stanley went through the crowd of people, the dance floor emptied a bit as the song ended, bringing Eric and Wendy's first dance of the evening to a close.
"You really know how to move." Wendy commented, surprised and a bit out of breath.
"Thanks," Eric panted. "M-most people think big boned people can't move, but they're wrong. We can tear it up hardcore...For like, thirty seconds...Oh man, c-can we sit down?"
She nodded, linking her arm with his and pulling him to the side of the room, where a row of fold out chairs were lined up.
Eric gladly took a seat. "So anyway, you can owe me the Swiss cheese."
She snorted sarcastically, amazed he was still thinking about that. "I'll see what I can do." She promised.
"What're we gonna do after this?" he asked once his breath returned.
"You aren't ready to go already, are you?" She asked. "I haven't talked to any of my friends yet. And we haven't had a slow dance."
"Of course I'm not ready to leave." He rolled his eyes at her. "They've got brownies on the dessert table. I'm just saying there's a lot of after-prom stuff we could do. You know, food, parties, that kinda thing."
She thought this over. "Tweek's parents are gone for the week. Party at his place afterward is what I've heard." She informed.
Cartman shrugged. "Okay. We'll do that then."
She smiled approvingly. "I'm going to the girls room to find Bebe while you... eat brownies or whatever you want to do." She stood from her chair, dipping to give her date a kiss. "Thanks for taking me." She added before practically skipping off.
Cartman smiled a bit. Things were coming together nicely.
---
Unable to find Kyle in the large crowd of people, Stan began looking around the school outside of the gym where the prom itself was being held. He decided to check the boys room first, figuring his emotional friend was probably in there hiding, crying, or whatever.
As predicted, Kyle hid inside a stall, hating himself for breaking down in tears -again-. It was getting old, even to himself. His breath caught when he heard the booming music grow louder, indicating someone had entered. Not wanting to be seen, he backed up against the wall and held still.
"Kyle?" Stan called out, knowing his friend too well. "Ky, I know you're in here...I'm sorry for whatever I said."
Kyle resisted the urge to laugh mirthlessly. "Sorry for whatever I said" obviously meant he wasn't sorry at all. How could you be fucking sorry about something you don't even know what you're sorry for?
"Fuck off." His voice echoed off the tiled walls.
"No. I won't fuck off, because I don't know what I did. All I said was I was gonna go hang out with Craig."
"So go, I'm not stopping you!"
"Kyle, you know Craig's not my type. I'm sorry if I pissed you off with something I said, but you need to remember your therapy and get a grip here. I'm not gonna let you spend your prom in a bathroom like this."
"I'll spend my prom however I wanna spend my prom!" He retorted.
Stan thought a moment. "...You know what? You're right. You have that choice, and so do I." He invited himself inside the stall with Kyle, closing the door behind them. "I can spend all night here too y'know."
Kyle wiped his teary eyes on his wrists. "Where's Kenny?"
Stan placed his arms around Kyle, gently hugging him. "Still not here...You okay?"
"I want Kenny," He dissolved into another round of quiet sobs.
"Wanna go look for him?" Stan offered in a soothing voice. "We're not gonna find him in here."
Kyle pulled away, the tears brushed away with more anger this time. "I'll find him myself." He thundered, unlocking the door and flinging it open, not even caring that it smacked Stan.
"Ow!" Ever persistent, Stan followed him. "Kyle! Just hold on. We obviously have to talk."
"Obviously, I'm not Craig." He shot back, storming out of the bathroom and down the corridor.
"Obviously, because if you were Craig, I'd be ignoring you to chase after the guy I actually -do- care about."
Kyle stopped abruptly, causing Stan to smack into him before turning around. "Since everything's so obvious, It should also be obvious that I want you to just go do what you obviously want to do with who you obviously want to do it with!"
"You know what I want to do? I want to have a good time with you, my boyfriend. The guy I'm proud to be here with. That's what I wanna do, Kyle." Stan reached out, taking Kyle's hand. "Come on, just calm down okay? ...I love you. You know that."
He stared down at their interlocked hands for several heartbeats. "I'm sorry I'm not good at anything."
"What're you talking about? You're good at lots of stuff."
He yanked his hand away, though all trace of anger had seeped out. "You must be remembering someone else." He remarked dully. "Lets get back before someone comes looking for us."
Stan continued his thought, knowing Kyle wasn't yet feeling better. "You make me laugh. You're really smart...You're -great- in bed..."
"Kenny's great in bed." He counter corrected. "Maybe -you- should be looking for -him-."
"Yeah yeah, he told me about that." Stan sighed as another song started up inside the gym.
"Poison," Kyle stated when he recognized the song.
"...Dance with me." Stan held his hand out.
Kyle stared down at it, as if some terminal disease were multiplying on his skin right before his eyes. "I can't. Its just one more thing you can be disappointed in me about."
"Kyle, nothing about you disappoints me. You're the one thinking that way, not me. I think you're awesome. I don't care if you can't dance. I'd rather dance terribly with you forever than dance really great with someone else for a day."
The magic words must have been mixed within this time. Kyle sniffed and clung to his friend, finally giving his defense a rest.
"It's okay," Stan whispered softly into his ear, hugging Kyle again. "I love you. Just try to remember that, okay?"
He nodded, still refusing to let go even as he spoke. "This is the song Kenny gave me to listen to when... you didn't want to talk to me anymore."
"Ah..." Stan patted his friend's back. "...You know we don't have a song yet. Maybe we can pick one out. How's that sound?"
"Okay," He leaned up, though keeping a tight hold. "But nothing gay, all right?"
Stan smiled. "Of course not." Stan leaned inward, pecking Kyle's lips. "So, let's go find where the fuck Kenny is. We'll go back in the gym, think of a song. Maybe have a dance..." Stan paused. "...Uh-oh."
"Uh-oh?"
Stan sighed, remembering his prior commitment. "Oh boy...Kyle, please don't get mad again."
Kyle pried himself out of the embrace he was in, putting more than enough space between them. "What the hell did you do now?"
"I still don't know what I did the first time," Stan muttered, his patience decreasing. "Look it's not a big deal, so please don't treat it like one. I just...kinda promised Wendy a dance. -One- dance!"
Kyle's eyebrows furrowed in confusion, his emotional wave now gone. "Okay?"
Stan blinked twice, very confused by Kyle's seemingly okay reaction to this news. He did love the little Jew, but sometimes Kyle was more confusing than a woman for the love of God. "...O-okay then..."
"I'm thirsty." Kyle stated simply, starting on his way down the hall again. "I'll just have some punch and make fun of fat ass while you dance."
"Kay..." Stan followed behind Kyle, the situation apparently defused. Stan wondered if Kyle had either forgotten to take, or should be on, some sort of medication. He let it go however and went back to partying.
---
(TO BE CONTINUED)
KyleisGod& BratChild3