Rushing to leave the house as soon as possible, Amelia mentally assessed her checklist. Keys, purse... what else? She frantically scanned the bedroom and herself. Right. Pants.
She had received a page from the hospital, telling her to be there as soon as possible, but providing no further information. Shutting the door behind her, she quickly got into the car and made her way over to Grey Sloan Memorial.
"What do we got?" she asked as she hurriedly entered the E.R.
No response.
"Come on, what's going on? Who paged me?"
Confused now, she scanned the area. No one seemed to know who had requested her presence, nor why she was even there. Finally, Alex approached her, an unreadable expression on his face.
"Oh hey, you're here. I was the one who paged you. I thought someone should tell you."
"Um. Tell me what? Alex, what are you talking about?"
"I need you to not freak out, okay?"
He looked at her expectantly, and she could feel herself becoming increasingly frustrated.
"Why would I..." she began. "Okay, yeah, I promise. Now will you please tell me what's going on."
Alex sighed, his expression concerned now. "It's Arizona."
"Wha... I don't-"
"She was in an accident."
She was in an accident.
Amelia found it rather fascinating how a person's entire life could change in an instant. Her blood seemed to run cold through her veins now, her entire body growing tense as her palms became sweaty and her vision somewhat blurred. She could feel her heart rate become faster, her breathing now rapid and unstable. She tried her best to compose herself.
"Alex..."
"She was T-boned, other driver lost control. He was drunk."
"Where is she?" Amelia practically yelled, her voice frantic as she attempted to push past him.
"She's in surgery with Meredith and Maggie. Blunt trauma to the abdomen, myocardial contusion and a massive hemothorax. No one was going to page you, cause... well, they don't know about you two. But I thought you should know."
Amelia nodded. She closed her eyes and took a long, deep breath, trying her best to remain calm.
"Thanks, Alex. Do you... do you know h-how she's doing?"
"I can get an update for you if you'd like."
The brunette nodded again, unsure if she'd be able to form words.
Alex placed a comforting hand on her shoulder.
"Why don't you wait in the Attendings' lounge, okay? I'll be right there."
She should have seen this coming. She was angry that she didn't. Everyone she loves dies. That's just the way it works.
She tapped her foot nervously as she leaned forward in her spot on the couch, her eyes blank as she stared at the wall on the opposite side of the room. She tore her gaze away from the spot when she heard the door open, and stood up when Alex walked into the room, raising her eyebrows at him expectantly.
Alex seemed to sense her restlessness.
"She's doing fine," he told her, giving her the most comforting of smiles he could manage. "I mean, it's too soon to know anything for sure. But so far it's going well. You can relax."
He made his way across the room, sitting beside her as she plopped back down on the couch.
"You're telling me to relax?" she asked, her voice quiet, but sounding slightly amused.
"Everyone I love dies, Alex. I can't relax. Ever."
He furrowed his brow as he took in her words.
"No one said she's going to die, Amelia."
The neurosurgeon only shook her head.
"Hey, look at me," Alex instructed, his tone serious now. "Robbins is strong. She's a fighter, always has been. She's been through a lot... she's survived a lot. She'll get through this, too."
Amelia swallowed hard, fighting back tears. "But what if she doesn't?"
Alex sighed, scooting closer.
He realized that the two of them had never been alone together. Sure, they'd hung out. Quite often, actually. But they'd never talked, really talked, one on one. It was strange, how little he actually knew about this women. Feeling a bit unsure about it, he reached his arm around Amelia's shoulders, pulling her into his side.
They remained silent for a while before Alex spoke again.
"So you love her, huh?"
He asked the question mostly in an attempt to change the subject, to distract her from what was happening. But he also meant it genuinely.
Amelia couldn't help but crack a small smile at the mention of it.
"I do."
Her voice came in a raspy whisper, a single tear running down her cheek.
"Does she know?"
Amelia nodded. "Yeah, she knows. I told her... which I honestly can't believe. It's kind of crazy. I don't even know what we are... I don't know if we're dating, or if she's my girlfriend or whatever. I have no idea what we even are to each other. But I told her that I was falling in love with her," she shook her head incredulously. "I mean, who does that?"
Alex chuckled. "You, apparently."
"That's the thing, though. I don't do that. I don't go around blurting out that kind of stuff. I hide it, I run from it," she explained. "But I told her I was falling in love with her."
She sighed, resting her head on Alex's shoulder now.
"I can't lose her," she whispered.
Alex felt his heart clench at her admission.
"I know."