Summary: Set after Midnight but before Turn Left. Donna records a video diary to send to Wilf.
Disclaimer: The BBC owns Doctor Who; always have, and probably always will.
Chapter 10 - Anyone Seen A View Cam
Donna adjusted her hair, smacked her lips together to get an even coat of sheen, and leant forward to switch the camcorder on.
"Hello again, Gramps! How are you? Things are fine here; very good in fact.
"I hope Mum has got over us destroying her begonias last time. It was a complete mistake, honest. And I swear that homeless guy was really the Prime Minister in disguise. He would want to know what everyone thinks without employing an expensive opinion poll, stands to reason. That's my theory, and I'm sticking to it.
"The Doctor almost ran out of ointment treating all those cat scratches. Little Louie certainly bears a grudge, doesn't he? The Doctor does too now. I wouldn't mind, but I was the one that had to apply most of that ointment. I don't like to think about what I endured whilst doing it, suffice to say it was not all a pretty sight. Anyway…
"You have should have seen where we went yesterday, it was amazing! I have never seen so many of the hoi polloi squashed in together before. There was more jewellery on display than the whole of Hatton Garden before Christmas. Everybody was dressed up to the nines, and they guzzled back the wine like nobody's business. It tasted like a strawberry version of champagne, and was very nice. I helped myself to at least four glasses of the stuff. All right, you've caught me out! It was nearer to seven by the time the evening finished.
"Good job I had the Doctor to protect me 'cos I'm sure this bloke in white and black robes took a complete shine to me. He kept touching my head and grabbing my hand. Not the Doctor, silly, the bloke in the robes! Though the Doctor did have to hold me up at one point. Not that I'm saying I can't hold my drink, far from it, but the champagne they served was very potent. I could hardly remember a thing this morning. But here's the weird part: my head didn't hurt at all, not one bit! I was so impressed. Of course, the Doctor is taking the credit, saying he gave me some magic juju that cured me before it had the chance to get me. As if! In his dreams! I did have a spot of bother opening a packet of biscuits earlier though, managed to break a nail… would you look at that! I don't remember getting that ring. Do you recognise it? It's pretty though, I'll probably wear it again. I'll have to ask the Doctor if he remembers where I got it.
"We got invited to the shindig yesterday almost as soon as we stepped out of the TARDIS. I've no idea what we did right. Makes a change to be grabbed for looking the part rather than offending someone. And believe you me we've had plenty of that sort of nonsense! The only thing different about us that I could see was that we were taller than any of the planet's people; they were really nice to us though. They let us sit on what was obviously the main table, and we got served with food first too. I had to ask the Doctor what most of it was since it all looked like jellied eels to me, with the odd bowl of rice pudding. Fortunately none of it tasted like that, just looked like it. The Doctor started mucking about, pretending I was a toddler that wouldn't eat her dinner, making aeroplane noises to get me to open my mouth. I must have looked a right idiot, but I couldn't stop laughing! I have to think of a way to get him back now. Any ideas how?
"The bloke that sat on the other side of me to the Doctor kept going on about some fertility festival they were having, but it was all double Dutch to me. I had to explain that the Doctor and me aren't married, and he got ever so excited about it. I wonder why? I forgot to pass that one by the Doctor, or if I did I've forgotten. I'd forget my head if it wasn't screwed on tight!
"I still don't have a clue what exactly they were celebrating. I think it had something to do with a wedding, I think that was what the Doctor said at the time, but we didn't suss who's it was. Perhaps there is a clue in the little bag they gave me as a souvenir? I'll have a look in a minute and let you know during my next message. Must have been someone like their equivalent of the Pope judging by all the finery. Whoever it was, they were pretty important. I wonder if I got to shake their hand or something?
"On that note, I'm going to love you and leave you as I can smell dinner burning in the kitchen! Gawd knows what he's done us this time, but my guess is burnt rubber on toast! Ha ha ha!
"Bye Gramps; love you!"
With that, Donna picked up her goody bag to have a peek and turned off the camcorder.