CPOV

"Penny for your thoughts, old man" Ana said as we approached Seattle.

Her words made me smile but it couldn't eclipse what I felt inside. To lose Luke was one thing, to have to come back here again though, brought on a whole new world of pain.

"I I I..." I stuttered which was so unlike me.

"Tell me about them," she asked, reaching for my hand.

I brought her hand to my lips, placing a kiss on top before she entwined her fingers with mine.

"My dad was a lawyer, the best in the business and although his job didn't always gel with family life, he tried to be there for as much as he could. I know you miss your dad Ana, I miss mine too."

"What was your sister like, Mia."

"She was a lot like you," I told her honestly.

"How so."

"She was incredibly intelligent, and a complete breath of fresh air. My parents struggled to get pregnant after me and had pretty much given up hope when my mum fell pregnant with Mia. My dad's brother said she was a whoops baby, not planned but she so was. It just took a long time for her to arrive. Most older brothers would stay away, call a younger sibling annoying and keep them out of their room. With Mia, I loved her being around, ever since she was first placed into my arms." I looked to Ana, sadness marring her features which I know was mirrored in my own. "The beach, she loved it there and would've happily never gone home. That's why I bought a place on the beach, bought a beach actually as when I was there, it felt like she was near."

Speaking about dad and Mia was like a double-edged sword. I wanted people to know about them, I wanted Ana to know what amazing people they were but each word spoken, hurt, making me miss them more and more.

"You never speak about your mother," Ana stated quietly, bringing me out of my thoughts. Just hearing her name felt like I had been hit in the chest.

I shook my head, not being able to speak about her at the moment because despite losing dad and Mia, losing my mother had hurt most of all.

"I can't" I mumbled.

"Hey, it's ok. It doesn't matter" Ana told me, kissing the top of my hand.

"I will soon Ana, just not when we're in the car."

Driving through the streets of the city that had once been home, I was looking everywhere. It wasn't lost on me that this was where Blandino once lived and for all we know, he could still be here.

Jason had mentioned when we were speaking about his location only a week ago that we might have to come here. I suppose fate forced our hand, bringing us here earlier than we planned.

"Where are we going," Ana asked.

"Escala."

"Is that a neighbourhood, suburb. I don't really know my way around apart from the route between the railway station and S.I.P."

"No Escala is a building, an apartment building. I purchased the penthouse a few years ago as it was closest to the airfield we use most often and has come in handy when I've flown us out of there."

"Hold up a second," she said, startling me. "You've flown them out of there."

"Yes Ana, I have held a pilots licence for many years," I admitted, smiling at the look of shock on her face.

"Wow, that's hot. My old man can fly."

I laughed at her nickname for me, liking it more and more every time she said it. Unfortunately, the laughter didn't last for long because pulling into the underground garage at Escala, the worry was back again.

I parked up in my usual spot, seeing the place Jason parks still empty. I suppose some would think having an apartment in the middle of the city was not ideal, especially considering the job we do. It's close to everything though and despite being on the top floor, there is more than one way of escape.

"Ready," I asked Ana as she put the cap I had purchased upon her head. With her hair down, it would create a curtain around her face.

The police and probably half the country were looking for a blond, something Ana will never be again.

"I'm ready" she confirmed as I took one last look around us before getting out of the car.

I had my hand on my gun at all times, keeping it hidden in my jacket. I wished Barney was here though so he could knock out the cameras.

Placing her hand in mine, I helped Ana from the car and once it was locked behind us, I quickly led her to the elevator. Once inside, I pulled her close to me, looking like we were in an embrace. Anyone who did see us would think that we were a couple in love, completely wrapped up in the other.

After entering the code for the penthouse we were soon climbing upwards. It didn't matter if anyone called the elevator now, they would have to wait because, with the overriding features, it wouldn't stop until we got to the top.

Stepping out of the elevator, we watched the doors close behind us, before taking our first breaths of relief. There were no cameras in the small foyer apart from the ones Barney had installed. That was one of the first things that were changed as soon as the keys to the penthouse were mine.

I locked off the elevator to this floor which could only be overridden by the code. Once this was done, I faced the doors of my apartment with Ana.

"Do you have it?" I asked Ana, receiving her little nod. "Get it out then."

Ana pulled from the bag she carried, the small gun I had given her. She was yet to shoot it as we have never been in a place safe enough to try so far but I had told her how to use it, and especially how to aim.

This goes along with the self-defence I taught her, hoping to god she never needed to use either. If I'm honest with myself though, those days are gone and despite hating to even think it, I know it could be a matter of time until she needs both.

I opened the doors to the apartment, hearing the alarm timer starting to beep. I had ten seconds to disarm it, which I did in five, rendering the apartment silent.

Every room I checked, every nook and cranny that someone could hide in was seen as we toured the apartment, guns in hand. Our alarms had been set at Jason's so although it looked like nobody had been here, I wouldn't settle completely until I had checked everywhere.

"Christian, no one's here," Ana said as I finally lowered my gun, putting it into the back of my pants.

"I know, I just had to check. I won't take any chances with you, Ana."

"I know" she whispered, wrapping her arms around me.

As I held her I looked around the large living room and through the windows to the city beyond. There were places here I'd had a lot of fun in over the years, a lot of memories that had been ripped away from me. Looking down into Ana's beautiful blue eyes, I finally started to speak.

"You asked about my mother," I said, leading her over to the couches.

"If you're not ready."

"It's not that I'm not ready Ana, it's just hard to talk about. My mum, I adored her. She was a doctor, still is I think. Despite working long shifts sometimes, she would always make time to ask about our day, check our homework, the usual mother stuff. I was a typical kid, loved playing ball and out with my friends most of the time. I was in my final year of high school and I suppose I was going through a rebel phase, pushing the boundaries, you know coming in late, smoking" I told her huffing out a laugh. "Mum being mum told dad I would grow out of it, that with my grades, I was still in the top five percent of my year. Mum being the doctor, came home with pamphlets one day to the effects of smoking and drinking, the latter I didn't think she knew anything about. The day… life all went to hell, I had been with a girl from school…. Shit, I don't want to speak to you about her, just she was there. I was late, always seemed to be lately and if truth be told, it was because I was panicking that high school was coming to an end and I still had no clue what I wanted to do beyond that. If I'd been on time."

"Then we wouldn't be having this conversation now because you might not have been here," she told me.

"She blamed me."

"How could she, you didn't set the bomb," Ana told me appalled.

"I was a disappointment to her. I couldn't even turn up on time to my sisters birthday treat. I just took it, her anger, her words. I just wanted to hold her but she continued to push me away, so I left. I thought it would be easier for her, not to see me around every day. If I wasn't there, I couldn't cause her any more pain."

"Have you seen her since?" she asked me.

"I've driven by her house, not recently though. I even sat outside the hospital just so I could see her there when I was on my first home leave. She seemed ok, I think."

"Losing dad, I would've given anything just to have one last conversation with him, share another tea party despite me being too old for them now. I understand grief all too well and I know people deal with it differently but your mother hit out at the wrong person. You were all she had left, but instead of grieving with you, she pushed you away."

"She did, she was so angry and I took it all while I wanted, waited for the world to end. The pain of me being there, a constant reminder to her of what she'd lost as well as the pain I felt with no longer feeling welcome was too much so I turned and walked away."

I didn't realise her words and mine had brought tears to my eyes until Ana brushed them away. I'm the first to admit that I miss my mum but she's safer, better off with me out of the way.

….

I had woken up on the couch with Ana sleeping in my arms a few hours later. Taking her to my bedroom which would be ours now, I tucked her into bed, before heading to the office.

Entering, I bypassed the desk which made it look like an ordinary office and on to the bookshelves behind. Pulling my favourite book as a child down, Huckleberry Finn, I put my hand onto the scanner that it had hid, before stepping back as the shelves parted, revealing the panic room behind.

I could start a war from my apartment with the amount of weapons I had here, most of them army grade. I had no plans to start one though, just to make sure one ends with us all still alive at the end of it.

Flicking the monitors on, I could soon see the whole apartment, even my sleeping girl. All the doors, windows, even the garbage chute was alarmed in case anyone tried to get in, plus the freight elevator was locked off so it would not be able to get to this floor. Turning the alarm on for the main elevator so I would know the second anyone inputted a code, I left the office altogether, heading into the kitchen to hopefully find some food.

Opening the refrigerator, you only had to look to see what an unhealthy life I once led. Beer, take away pizza which could be a science experiment with the amount of fur that covered it and something that had long ago been fruit which was now more liquid than solid. Feeling embarrassed with myself at how much of a slob I had once been, I quickly got rid of the food before opening a beer.

"Christian" I heard Ana call from the bedroom.

"Ana, I'm in the kitchen" I called out to her as she came into view.

"This place is so big," she laughed, walking into my open arms. "I ended up in the closet first, instead of out here."

"I see you found something to wear," I said, looking down at the t-shirt of mine that she now wore.

"Living in the same clothes for a few days or should I say stinking in the same clothes for a few days, you grab for anything that's clean. I'm wearing your boxers too but you wouldn't be able to tell with the length of the t-shirt."

"I will have to go looking for them later," I told her, placing a kiss to her lips. "Come, help me find something to eat that isn't going to give us food poisoning."

I watched Ana walk over to the fridge where she opened it, looked at me and then quickly closed it again. Declaring that the fridge should be condemned because it stunk, she started to pull some items from the freezer.

The mac and cheese that Gail had made was out as it had freezer burn Ana told me. We did manage to find some chicken pieces that were still in date, some vegetables too and with a few things from the cupboard, Ana soon had dinner on the go.

"Who taught you to cook," I asked her as she turned to me, spatula in hand.

"Gail," she told me. "I was too terrified to spend more than a few minutes in the kitchen when I lived in Tacoma but with Gail, she let me experiment, burn a few items but I think I cooked more in my short time there than at any other time in my life."

"What did you eat back there."

"Scraps mainly. Whatever was in the fridge or I could pull out of the cupboard quickly. Even as a kid there was more alcohol around than food. I went from a kid who was teased for being chubby when dad was alive to being constantly asked if I had an eating disorder. I wanted to eat, there was just never any food around."

"Those days are gone, Ana. You will never go back to being hungry again."

"I know."

Ana finished the stir fry she was making while I set the table. I didn't know how long we would be here but I did know we would need some food and also some clothes for Ana. I do admit having her gorgeous legs on display for me was a bonus though so maybe the clothes could wait a while.

…

The next morning I had spoken to Barney who had told me that my home had been clean. No one had tampered with anything, no one had been there except him and Elliot. They had left the weapons that I stored there, taking what they needed from Jason and Elliot's homes. I doubt they will be needed though with what I had here.

Leaving Ana in the apartment, I went out to get a few supplies. She was in the panic room there and was the only person who could open the door now she was locked up inside. My home was like a fortress but I still wasn't taking any chances with her so she was tucked up tight with a cup of tea and a book while I hopefully abet reluctantly got her some clothes.

Once again like the night I had met Ana, I wore a full beard and moustache. My coat was done up tight and I had a cap on my head. No one was looking for me, well no one legal was looking for me but that didn't mean they couldn't find Ana if I was spotted.

Ana is still the number one suspect in her mother's murder as far as the police are concerned. They have even stated that they had seen posts on her Facebook page that incriminate her even more. A

Facebook page, Ana has never even had.

Someone had tried planting more evidence against her, writing posts that she hated her mother and wished she was dead. As I originally thought, someone on Blandino or Fernandez's side was computer savvy because some of these posts had been made to look months old.

I entered the large store down the road from Escala, looking around to see what they had. I know Ana's safe up there and that no one could get to her but that didn't mean that I didn't rush.

Here, I was able to pick up some jeans, tops and sweaters, some shoes for her too. I have to admit that I did take a few extra moments to look at the bras and panties though, eventually choosing something that was not too revealing, hence not embarrassing her or me being declared a pervert.

Ana has a beautiful body, one I could look at all day. I'm glad she doesn't get nervous under my gaze though as she doesn't need to.

Paying for my purchases for not just the clothes but food too, I quickly made my way back to Escala, breathing a sigh of relief when I was stood outside the still locked door to the panic room.

"Hello, Bella's pizza service," Ana said, upon answering the phone that was inside.

"Baby, it's me. You can open the door," I replied, amused at the voice she had put on.

I could hear the locks releasing before the door started to open. Within seconds, Ana was out and in my arms.

"You're ok," she said, checking me over.

"I'm fine Ana, I brought you some clothes," I told her, nodding to the bags that were on the desk.

"What did you bring," she asked me, opening the closest bag.

"Just the essentials."

"Essentials, really," she said, smiling as she pulled lace panties from the bag. They were tame compared to some I had looked at so I just nodded, earning a laugh from her. "I will be sure to model them for you later" she called out, leaving me in the office as she headed to the bedroom with the bags.

…

I used to wonder how Gail coped all these years when we were out of contact, away on missions. Waiting for my team's arrival, even a call, I think I knew a little of how she felt now.

Only three people had this number now besides Ana, one Jason would've had to work out before he made the initial call when we were in Yelm.

I know Jason wouldn't leave Gail until she was safely away so the waiting game continued. At this moment in time, I didn't know if Elliot and Barney were with them and would arrive with Jason or they would arrive first.

"They will come, Christian," Ana told me, wrapping her arms around my waist.

"I know they will Ana… I worry because these people are my family. I've lost one, I can't lose another."

"I know" she whispered, kissing my lips.

I was just getting lost in the kiss we shared when the alarm went off to signal that the elevator up to this floor had been activated. Upon arriving here, changing the code was one of the first things I did before sending the new one to Jason.

Opening the apartment door, I had my gun in hand, making sure that Ana had hers too as we waited for the elevator to reach us.

When it finally opened to reveal Jason, Barney and Elliot, I actually sagged in relief.

"Wow, you have Ana packing. You have come far little one" Elliot said, making us smile.

"I think it's necessary," Ana told him as we moved out of the way so they could enter the apartment.

The second I closed the door after locking off the elevator to this floor and making sure the door was locked behind us, Luke's absence was noticeable. Despite not being with our team as long as the others, despite being a pain in the arse too, he was my friend, my brother and just as Charlie did, he left a gaping hole that could never be filled.

I hugged Jason before moving on to the others, before watching Ana being hugged too. She was their little sister as far as Elliot especially was concerned, a member of the special family we shared.

"How's Gail," I asked Jason.

"She was ok, upset at having to leave. I just can't have her here right now."

"Where is she," Ana asked.

"On her way to the Caribbean, an island in fact. We did a little work a few years back for a guy out there. His wife had been taken and he was eternally grateful that we got her back unharmed. I suppose outside of our group if we said we had friends, it would be Liam and Nessa. There are not many people I trust in this world, even fewer now. I trust them to keep her safe though" he told her.

"I miss her" Ana confessed seeing the nod of Jason's head.

"She misses you too Ana, very much. She gave us all instructions that if one hair on your head is harmed, we will all be answering to her."

"Believe me Gail is the last person you want to piss off," Barney told her.

Getting out of the hallway, they all took their bags to their rooms. I know we have a lot to talk about, a lot to plan too while we're here but there is something I think needs to happen first.

Heading into the kitchen with Ana, I took the bottle of bourbon I had purchased on my shopping trip from the cupboard. I had spoken to Ana earlier, letting her know what I wanted to do so it was of no surprise to see her getting glasses out.

I was filling the glasses when we were joined by the boys who all took their offered drink.

"To Luke," I said, raising my glass.

"To the idiot who had better be found" Elliot added and I knew he was still struggling with the fact Luke was gone and he wasn't the only one.

"To safer days ahead" Barney added.

"To finding Luke, getting rid of the scum that is Blandino and Morton and hopefully ending the nightmare that is Fernandez too," Jason said raising his glass.

"To family and being back together again soon" Ana added as our glasses all came together.

I know this, us here, in this moment will probably be the only calm we get. Tomorrow though we plan, and we make sure whoever crosses our paths from this day forth, knows the consequences of hurting one of this team.

Thank you for reading.

Until next time, take care.

Caroline.