Three days later

"You can make me your heir, please."

When Elsa asked Joan what she could do for her once she came in her study, this was not an answer she expected. Obviously it had to be a joke. "I'm sorry?" Elsa asked in disbelief.

"I want to be your heir," Joan repeated, without any jokes in her voice. That made it scarier for Elsa. "Then you don't have to be arranged married."

Elsa's jaw would have dropped if she was Joan's mother, or anyone other than the Queen. Even now, it was difficult to keep her face still. "Where….where did you get that idea?" she asked.

"Those guys need you to have a baby. I'm 12 years older than a baby!" Joan did the math. "If I'm your heir, I'll be way ahead of a baby! And you don't need to be married or pregnant or anything!"

Elsa's jaw went down a little that time, as she scrambled to point out, "Joan….first of all, you're already my heir. You're second in line for the throne, after your mother."

"I can still do it!" Joan insisted. "If something happens to you before I'm 21, Mom will rule. Then she'll step down and I'll take over."

Now there was a way this made sense. It made Elsa relieved – probably more than anything else the last three days. "Does your mother know that?" Elsa asked. "You can tell me if this was all her idea, you know."

"I can't, cause it wasn't. I thought of it myself" Joan said proudly, not looking like she was lying. She was Anna's daughter, so she had obvious tells when she was lying – and none of them were on her face. So much for relief.

"It's perfect, Aunt Elsa!" Joan still thought. "You tell them you don't need a young heir, cause you've already got one! I'll study real hard to be Queen for nine years, like you did! Then if I gotta be Queen when I'm 21, I'll be ready and they'll know it! And if you live for another 50, 80 years, I'll be real ready then!"

Elsa wasn't ready to deal with this, though. After three straight days of making a list for potential suitors, she wasn't ready for anything to make things worse. Let alone this much worse.

"Joan….do you understand what studying to be Queen means?" Elsa asked. "Even if I could have played with your mother when I did it, I wouldn't have had time. You've had a real childhood because you haven't had to train like that. It'll be over if you do this."

"It's okay. I had a good run," Joan figured.

"No, it's not okay!" Elsa snapped a little early, but she was losing the need to care. "You can't choose something like that! You can't….sacrifice so much of yourself just for someone else! Even family!"

"You did. For Mom," Joan didn't miss a beat. And that almost broke Elsa.

Being reminded of her past was still painful enough, even now. To have Joan do it like this was something else entirely. It was worse now that Elsa realized she was calling Anna Mom, not Mommy – another reminder that her little girl was slipping away.

And now she wanted to leave for good, all to save Elsa? That….that couldn't happen.

"That was different," Elsa got out. "I never wanted that for a second. If I knew love would thaw back then, I never would have done it. It wasn't really my choice."

"But I'm choosing it now. And I'm still gonna see you guys," Joan pointed out. "It won't be so bad."

"Yes, it will!" Elsa kept arguing. "You haven't thought this through!"

"Have you?" Joan challenged. "I can do this, Aunt Elsa, I really can! You don't have to marry someone you don't love! Not for a baby! You don't need one, you have me! You can tell them and it'll be okay!"

"It won't. I'm not putting this on you. I never asked you to, and I never will," Elsa reminded. "Besides, only the top people are going on the list. No one who isn't worthy is going anywhere near me."

"Didn't Hans look worthy too?" Joan really got a low blow in. But she did come prepared. If she was that ready to debate Elsa on this, then….

"Joan, this isn't you!" Elsa snapped herself out of it. "It shouldn't have to be you!"

"And you shouldn't have to do this, so we're even," Joan came back again. "I know you don't wanna. But I wanna do this. I promise I'll study real hard and do everything teachers tell me! There's a first time for everything, right?" she pleaded. "I swear I'll be even better at it than you!"

"You're not me!" Elsa snapped, rising to her feet. "And you're not my daughter! It's time we both stopped kidding ourselves!"

Joan had no answer for that one. Elsa couldn't brag, though, given how she was shaken up herself. But it had to be said – it had to be admitted. Things had gone far enough already because she wouldn't.

"I can't pretend anymore," Elsa told Joan and herself. "I can't use you, Christian, Anna and Kristoff as a surrogate family of my own. I can't use you as an excuse not to find my own family. My own husband and children. And I can't….I can't pretend that not having that, not even trying to find it, is normal. Not for a Queen. Without that kind of love, I'm probably….incomplete."

"You don't need it!" Joan got her voice back. "You and Mom didn't need it to end winter, remember? That's the whole reason I was born, remember?"

"Your daddy had something to do with it at the end…." Elsa carefully reminded her.

"Not then! You didn't need love from a guy or a prince then! And look what happened! So you don't need it now! Not cause they told you to!" Joan argued.

"I can't believe Anna's daughter told me that," Elsa sighed. "And there's the whole problem again. You're already trying to be me. With all the time we've had together, you probably are half me. Right down to….sacrificing your happiness and your family when you didn't have to. And going so far to protect someone that you can't see it."

With new determination, Elsa resolved herself to say, "Well, that's not happening again. I'm not letting you put all that on yourself. I'm not my mother or father, you're not me, and that's how it's going to be."

"You're gonna give up just to protect me?" Joan came back. "So….isn't it happening again now anyway? Can't it happen with you being happy this time?"

"I won't be if you're….see, you're not supposed to think like that!" Elsa tried to ignore her and get back on track.

"Why, because I'm ignorant? Like they said?" Joan got upset this time. "I'm not, you know! I can do this!"

"Well, too bad!" Elsa lost her patience. "If anything happens to me before I get married, Anna will be Queen. Then you'll be next in line. But that's the only way that's going to happen!" she laid down the law. "But it's not going to happen. Not after I send invitations to everyone on the list tomorrow. So by this time next year, I'll probably be growing a real heir of my own."

"But Aunt Elsa…." Joan tried to go full on puppy dog.

"That's not working for this. Even if you are Anna's daughter. But you are her heir, not mine," Elsa decreed. "You're going to have a care free childhood like you deserve, and you're not going to throw it away for me. End of discussion."

"It shouldn't be," Joan still refused to see reason.

"That's how it is," Elsa assured, figuring she should get out of the study and end this while she was still ahead. But Joan didn't make her that lucky.

"But I love you! Shouldn't someone rule by your side who loves you? Without being forced to?" Joan asked. It was one question too many.

"That's not your concern," Elsa just wanted to get away, no matter how she did it. "It will not become your concern. And that is the last I will hear about it from you! Are we clear?" When Joan didn't answer, Elsa got impatient enough to add, "I am the Queen, and I asked you if we're clear!"

"We're clear…." Joan finally said quietly.

Unlike most times, Elsa didn't let herself see the sadness in her face or voice. Or the slight fear. She just made herself leave the study and shut the door on Joan before she could follow.

Even after all these years, Elsa could still shut the door on people she loved. Of course, after these last 15 years, it got even harder to live with it. That made the rest of the day's meetings even worse, which Elsa had dared to think was impossible.

But she was wrong again, as Joan's voice and pleas were just as annoying as the council's final list recommendations. The more they kept breaking down candidates by riches, status, looks, political viability and breeding stock, the more Joan's final argument wouldn't fade away.

"Shouldn't someone rule by your side who loves you? Without being forced to?" Elsa kept hearing over and over.

Not to mention Elsa's own words, "Without that kind of love, I'm probably….incomplete."

Thanks to that memory, Joan's words got even harder to block out. It was so annoying, aggravating and….other sadder things Elsa wished she didn't have to see. With those skills, maybe Joan really was more of Anna's daughter after all.

But unlike with Anna, Elsa had to refuse Joan. Nothing else mattered. Nothing….

"You're gonna give up just to protect me? Can't it happen with you being happy this time?"

That wasn't….

"I can't use you as an excuse not to find my own family. My own husband and children. And I can't….I can't pretend that not having that, not even trying to find it, is normal."

But this was….

"I am the Queen, and I asked you if we're clear!"

"We're clear…."

But Elsa wasn't. She wasn't clear enough to stop herself from banging her fist on the council table. Or from freezing it halfway.

After a few gasps from the council got her attention, she did focus enough to unfreeze the table. And get herself out of at least one mess.

"I think that's enough for now," Elsa composed herself to say. "I've gone along with helping you make this list. Therefore, I think you can trust me to go over it myself tonight. We'll make it official and write the invitations tomorrow, as planned. Good day until then."

Having finally appeased them for the last few days, the council had no objections. After all, they just saw a sharp reminder on that table of how risky it was.

Yet as much as Elsa made herself look fearsome by accident, she was still all tangled up inside. It would take a few more hours of soul searching, and fleshing out a few other ideas, to really put herself together again.

She certainly wasn't going to see Joan with nothing less than her top game.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Elsa missed dinner for the fourth straight night, but for different reasons this time. She didn't need to go over that with Anna, though. Especially when she saw Anna was worried enough.

"Joan wouldn't talk all day. You know I raised her better than that," Anna shared when Elsa caught up with her.

"So that means she didn't tell you why she was upset?" Elsa made sure.

"She hasn't talked much since your whole 'arranged marriage' scheme took off. So I can take a guess," Anna said. "I even caught her in your old library yesterday! You know I raised her better than that!" she repeated with more exaggerated horror.

"Yes, I do. Where is she?" Elsa got to the point, to speed this up and avoid Anna's suspicions. If she still didn't know anything, there really was no point in telling her until she and Joan got straightened out. If this really was straightening them out.

No, she'd gone over it thoroughly enough. This was the best bad idea. After learning that Joan was still in her room, and after telling Anna she'd talk to her alone, there was no going back for Elsa now.

Elsa got to Joan's door by herself, then gave her signature knock for her. "Joan? Can I come in?" she asked carefully. All she heard was a moan, which wasn't a yes – but it wasn't a no. It would have to do just this once.

When Elsa got in, she saw Joan lying in her bed, her face buried on top of her pillow. Once she got to the bed, Joan looked up to see Elsa, then put her head back down. Elsa's throat clenched in sadness, but she still had to speak up to get this done.

"They hate me too, you know," Joan spoke into her pillow first.

"I'm sorry?" Elsa asked, not in the way she intended to say those words when she came in. But Joan lifted her head back up to explain anyway.

"They called me and Mom ignorant. They think I'd ruin the kingdom if I was Queen. That's why they need you to have a baby," Joan recalled. "I hated them saying that about Mom! And me too….so I…."

Elsa thought she had a better idea now – better late than never, she supposed. Yet she let Joan continue. "I could be Queen. I could learn to do all that stuff. I told you I could do it. I'd show them and I'd show you….and I could save you too. I just wanted to prove I could be different. And protect you from getting hurt….like you always protect me, Christian, Mom and Dad. Not like then, I mean! Like now."

It would probably throw Elsa off track too much if she cried right now. So she limited herself to a few stray tears in her eyes, and to rubbing the back of Joan's head with love.

"Oh, honey….I knew you could all along. That was never the problem. They have the problem," Elsa promised her. "I don't have the freedom to completely ignore them. But you do. And you have every right to."

She further explained, "You….you don't have to be different. I love every single part of you just the way it is. Without any conditions."

"Then why can't you marry someone who'd do that for you?" Joan maintained her sharpness, even now. She really had been preparing for this. But at least this time, she set Elsa up perfectly.

"That's kind of what I wanted to talk to you about," Elsa braced herself. "Joan, I'm still doing this. I'm going to find a suitor, and have an heir that isn't you. But it's not just for that reason. It's not just because they're forcing me."

"You made it sound that way," Joan reminded her.

"That's fair enough. I'm not the best at sharing reel feelings right away, you know," Elsa reminded her back. However, she made a real effort now.

"Like I said….it's not normal to never look for love until you're 36. Not that kind of love. But I've never been normal," Elsa reflected. "I barely knew how to love Anna the right way. Then I had to learn to get it right with your, your Dad and Christian. It helped distract me from….how I've never tried to get it right with a man. How I never thought I'd have the chance for so long. And...how it scared me to take that chance."

Elsa sighed before continuing, "It's not like I haven't thought about it these last few years. You know I do too much thinking sometimes. If this ordeal has done any good for me, it showed me that….I should try to stop thinking once. Because….I do want that."

"To stop thinking? I can help with that too," Joan offered sincerely, which at least gave Elsa some relief.

"Not just that," Elsa said with a brief smile. "I want….someone who isn't family, who isn't a subject, and who isn't a servant, to love me. Someone who could learn to love me the way you guys do. I still don't know if I can get that. Or if I'd be good at it. But after all this time, I have to try at least once!"

Elsa steeled herself to further admit, "I wasn't ready for it all this time. If I'm ever going to be, it would probably be now. That's why I want to do this. I just hated being forced into it….like I've been forced into doing far worse things before."

"But they did it anyway," Joan noted.

"Yeah. But I can choose where it goes from here," Elsa said with more conviction. "They don't want me to do it for love. They made that even clearer recently. But if I'm gonna give them what they want, and find someone I could love for real….I can't do it by their standards. I need better help than that."

With that, Elsa was ready to get down to business. Looking Joan in the eye, she revealed, "I need your help. So….I'm willing to make a compromise. On that….discussion I put an end to today."

"You are? How?" Joan sat up.

"They want me to find a husband quickly. But now that I'm finally starting, they're in less of a hurry," Elsa explained. "I figure if a man is willing to go through this for a year or so, in spite of my age and my kingdom….he's worth giving a shot. Even if I don't marry him or get pregnant by then….if we're on our way, I can live with that. It's just a matter of finding that right man. But I can't find him alone."

Putting a hand on Joan's shoulder, Elsa offered, "I'd like you to help with that. Help me make a real list of suitors you think I could fall for. And who you think can love me like you do. You'll be my….royal love expert, let's call it."

"That's a job?" Joan was stunned.

"It's a made up job about love experts. Let's just say it's your family destiny to take it," Elsa recalled. "But that's not why you're getting this fake job. Only someone who's truly qualified, who truly knows about love and who can handle real responsibility can do it. No one's better at any of that than you are."

"You mean it?" Joan began to soften.

"Absolutely," Elsa brightened up too. "When those men we pick get here, I'll need your help to see just how worthy they are. If you think someone isn't, for any legitimate reason, I won't bother. Even if I find someone I like, I won't go further unless you approve of him."

"What does that have to do with the….discussion?" Joan whisper asked.

"If I'm not married, or in a relationship, with any of these men in 12 months….then I will….reconsider making you my heir," Elsa conceded. "But I will only think about it! And you can't turn all the suitors away just to be Queen! You have to make an honest effort to like them! If you can, I can do the same thing."

"What if I pick wrong?" Joan thought to ask. "What if it's my….family destiny to get it wrong the first time?"

"Then we'll bring the rest of the family in as backup. Eventually," Elsa sidestepped bringing all this up with them – or Anna – for right now. "But the final word is yours. If you think someone can love me and be good for me, even though you'd rather be heir yourself….that's the best recommendation I could get."

"And if there's no one, I get to be heir anyway?" Joan checked again.

"I said we'd reopen the discussion. That's all I'm promising," Elsa stressed. "Still, if you want to get some studying done early, just in case….I wouldn't object. Only if you make enough time for your family too! Even with this other job."

"I guess I could do that…." Joan thought over.

"But we won't tell anyone else about this. Outside of the family," Elsa remembered to add. "This is a secret royal made up job. The council doesn't need to know about it. Or that this will take at least 12 months. Like I said, if any man sticks with this for that long, he has to have some good qualities."

"I hope so too," Joan echoed.

"So this sounds good to you? You could help me find a man this way? Give them a real chance to prove they're good enough for me? For the entire family?" Elsa asked Joan straight out. "Before you try out my throne?"

Joan thought seriously about it, which still unnerved Elsa a little. Finally she asked, "Is that what you want? For real? Please be honest."

In a way, Joan was already starting the job. Feeling somewhat relieved and assured, Elsa answered honestly. "Yes. I want to take a real shot at this. As long as you help me do it right."

"Well…." Joan dragged on, sounding more like herself again. As such, Elsa was already happy and calm again when Joan finished, "Okay. I'll take the job."

"Then you're hired," Elsa smiled. "And I know just how to seal the deal." Which she did with one of Joan's favorite warm hugs.

This one was warm enough to make Elsa add something else too. Which she did when she found Joan's most ticklish spots. "Hey, no fair!" Joan sputtered out.

"Is that what Christian said when you borrowed my moves?" Elsa teased, tickling too fast for Joan to answer. She broke from her aunt's embrace, but she still pinned her down on the bed to finish the job, until they both ran out of breath.

Ultimately, they both laid down next to each other, with Elsa putting a non tickling arm around her niece. "You'll be at least the third greatest love expert on your father's side of the family," Elsa assured.

"I learned from other sides too," Joan promised, looking right at Elsa.

"So did I," Elsa swore. "But just so you know….now that you offered to be Queen just for me….you can't get out of doing any more chores for me. Ever."

"Oh….I didn't think that through," Joan realized. Sighing, she admitted, "I guess since I'm the secret royal love expert, I still have to love you. I can do that."

"I love you too. So much," Elsa said with less sarcasm. "End of discussion." She technically ended it by kissing Joan's cheek and letting her cuddle next to her. But neither one felt like getting technical now.

Until Joan said, "I technically still didn't tell Mom I'd be Queen for you."

"Of course you didn't," Elsa stated. But one awkward conversation at a time. It'd be hard enough doing that with strangers for the next year.