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RUMORS OF MY DEATH
PT 10

I push my glasses up the bridge of my nose and film the last column.

I want to make sure I get every angle of the ancient writing.

The writings have something to do with a weapon and from what I've translated so far it will help in the fight against Anubis.

This might be the break we've been looking for and I'll do everything in my power to help.

I'm just about done when I hear someone call my name.

I turn to see Colonel Shaw.

He asks if I'm almost done.

I take one last sweep of the writings and turn off the camera. "I'm almost done, Colonel I just need to gather my notes and put my books in my bag and then I'm good to go."

Colonel Shaw is the CO of SG14. He's the opposite of Jack. He's more patient with my ramblings and has a slight interest in the 'rocks' I'm looking at. But, I wouldn't trade teams for any price. SG14 is a great team but my loyalties will always be with the original SG1.

He smiles and takes off his cap.

"Take your time Dr. Jackson. We were just contacted by the SGC. There's a problem with the gate. So we're being routed to the Alpha site and will stay there until we get the all clear."

"Problem with the gate?" I asked. "Sam just did a full systems check before we left."

"Ah, yeah, Dr. Jackson it must have just happened since I just got the message."

I shrug my shoulders and accept what Colonel Shaw says.

"It shouldn't be long Sam will take care of it in no time. She's got that knack. I'll go see if Dr. Anderson needs any help. I'll be with him, if you need us just contact us on the radio."

"Sounds like a plan. I'll let you know when we're ready to move out."

I picked up my bag and go to find Gary.

I find him going over the main slab again. He is so focused that he is oblivious to my presence, which is a bad thing. Things like that can get you killed.

I can hear Jack's words ringing in my ears.

He taught me to be more cautious. I had been like Gary and was scolded many times about it by Jack and Teal'c. I finally learned my lesson when a group of Jaffa surrounded me and I didn't realize it until the shooting started.

My friends had saved me that day and I would never again forget to keep an eye on my surroundings.

He taught me well and now it was time for me to show Gary the ropes.

Gary had asked me to come and help him decipher his findings. He had been so excited, thinking this latest find might be a crucial tool in fighting the Goa'uld. His excitement was so contagious that I told him I'd be happy to help.

He had the same enthusiasm that I'd had when I first started working for the SGC. I remember thinking my contribution would single handedly bring down Apophis and bring back my wife.

It never came to pass.

I had lost Sha're and the only comfort I had was that I had contributed to Apophis' defeat with the help of my friends.

Through the years my enthusiasm had started to diminish.

I had sacrificed a lot. But I wasn't the only one.

Each of my friends had lost someone in this fight. Jack had lost Kawalsky, a good friend and soldier; Teal'c had lost his wife and was separated from his son. Sam had lost Narim, Martouf, and in a way, her father since he was off trying to mend fences with the Tok'ra.

But then I remembered the one person who had sacrificed the most.

The one whose sacrifice we still felt and would continue to feel.

Janet.

It had been a blow to us all but I think, other then Cassie, it had hit me the hardest.

I was there when she uttered her last words.

I should have protected her but I didn't and now she was gone.

I closed my eyes.

I have to stop this. Every time I have a spare moment I go back and start to think "what if".

What if I had watched her six instead of video taping the airman? What if I had looked up in time to see the Jaffa coming at us, and the one that will always plague me, what if my team, my family blamed me for Janet's death.

I have seen what those "what ifs" could do to a man.

All I had to do was remember Jack when I first met him.

His guilt was inconsolable and he had almost let it overtake him but somehow he finally found the strength to move on.

I don't think I have that same strength.

I had slowly pushed each of them away. I was trying to deal with my loss on my own but I was fighting a losing battle. Losing Janet was devastating. We had developed a close relationship and when she was taken away from me…it was as bad as when my parents died.

She was my rock.

Whenever I needed someone to lean on, she was there always with a smile and the right thing to say.

Okay. Daniel, snap out of it. She's gone to a better place and all this will not bring her back.

I sigh and think, "I wish it had been me."

"Daniel? How long have you been sitting there?"

I looked up at Gary. I compose myself and smile.

"Just a minute or so. You were so caught up with the writings I didn't want to disturb you. So, what did you find?"

"It's amazing! I can't believe the information on this thing. We've got to take the slab back with us; it will be better to have it there to decipher the video and etchings. Do you think we can get it back to my lab?"

"Well, Gary I don't know its pretty big and…"

"But Daniel this is a huge find and well, I know it can help in our fight. Come on, you have pull with the General, how about you put in a good word for me?"

"Gary, I'll talk to General O'Neill but until we decipher more of the other columns you'll just have to be patient."

Gary snorted, "Easy for you to say. You've proven your worth at the SGC. You were the reason for the first trip through the stargate, Daniel. Your translations have saved worlds and brought down Gou'alds. Your words have formed the bonds that brought our allies together. I just want to contribute to the fight. Sometimes I feel that what I do is useless. I can't shoot a gun but at least I can try to help in other ways; use my brain instead of my brawn."

I looked at Gary. He was still young and I was happy that I had recommended him to Jack. He still had the fire that had flickered out in me.

"You're doing a great job, Gary and everyone knows that. All those things have come at a price but it was necessary to keep our planet safe."

Gary smiled and nodded.

"Yeah, Daniel you're a great teacher, if only your other colleagues could see you now."

I nudged him.

"Yeah, they'd be green with envy of all the things I've witnessed but can't talk about. Oh, well, story of my life."

Gary chuckled.

"It's okay, Daniel when we finally get to tell the world about this your name will be famous around the world and all those that doubted you, will be singing your praises."

I didn't get to answer Gary. The radio came to life with Colonel Shaw's voice telling us that we were ready to go.

I helped him gather his notes and told him we were being diverted to the Alpha site because of problems with the SGC gate.

We stepped through and came down the ramp at the Alpha Gate. I asked Colonel Shaw how long we would be here and he said he didn't know but that we needed to get cleared by the doctor.

Gary and I left our stuff in the lab and headed for the infirmary.

The doctor was finished taking my blood when Lt. Riley walked into the room.

I was surprised to see her.

"Dr. Jackson, what are you doing here?"

"Hey, Laura, I should ask you the same thing. What are you doing here?"

"Oh, we came to relieve the staff here; they're due for a week of downtime back home. We rotate every 3 weeks, so, it's my time to fill in."

"That's good, so, how have you been and when are you going back home?"

"We just got here, Dr. Jackson, about half an hour ago."

"Wait, you just got here? How? I don't understand. Colonel Shaw said there was a problem with the gate and that's the reason we couldn't go back to the SGC. They must have fixed it."

"I don't know, Dr. Jackson. Dr. Brightman was going to fill in for Dr. Cole but she was tied up with something. It was something big; she was tight lipped about it. Hey, I wonder if it had anything to do with Cassandra Fraiser being there? She was brought into the infirmary in hysterics. The General was there, as was Colonel Carter. It was so bad they had to sedate her."

My head snapped up.

Cassie was in the infirmary?

A million questions came to mind. What had happened? Why was she there? Was she ill? Why hadn't Jack contacted Sam or me? Why was she in hysterics to the point she had to be sedated?

"Laura, why was she there? Did anyone say anything? Were she and General O'Neill in an accident? Was she injured?"

She raised her hands, "Whoa, Dr. Jackson! I was on my way out when they brought her in. I don't know anything else."

I needed to get back.

"Am I done? I need to get back."

She asked Dr. Cole and he said I was good to go.

"You can catch the team we're relieving; they should be about ready to head back home."

I nodded and told Gary I'd see him back on base.

I rushed to the gate as they were going up the ramp.

I was about to step through when Colonel Shaw came through the door.

"Dr. Jackson, wait, you can't go back."

I turned to him and asked why?

"Per General O'Neill's orders. I'm sorry, I can't let you go."

I saw that they were about to shut down the gate.

Something was definitely wrong and I was going to find out what. I looked at him, said I was sorry but I had to go and stepped through the gate.

My mind was reeling. Why didn't Jack want me back home?

Was Cassie injured? No something else was wrong and I was going to find out.

I stepped through the gate and made my way down the ramp.

No one paid much attention with all the personnel milling around so I just walked by and made my way to the infirmary.

I walked in and everything looked normal.

I looked around and saw the bed in the far corner had a partition around it. That's when I heard her voice.

"Do you believe her? Please, Sam, tell me it's her. It has to be her."

I hear Sam trying to calm her down but it's only making her more agitated.

"God, I wish all of you would stop treating me like I'm a child. I need answers and if you won't tell me then I'll go find out myself if that woman down there is truly my mother!"

That last sentenced floored me.

My knees buckled and I held on to the gurney next to me.

I had forgotten how to breathe.

I hear Sam speak.

"Cassie, it can't be her. We know it can't be her. She died. I saw her body with my own two eyes, as did Teal'c. Daniel was with her when it happened. Someone is playing a sick game and we're going to find out who that someone is. I'm sorry Cassie but that can't be your mother in that room. Janet is dead and that woman down there claiming to be her is a liar."

My head snapped up.

Woman? Where?

I tried to listen but my heart was breaking. Cassie was crying, as was Sam.

This woman had caused their pain.

Who was she and how could she claim to be Janet?

This was the reason Jack had wanted me to stay away from the base. It made sense now.

I was angry that he would keep something like this from me. Like Cassie, I felt I was being treated like a child.

Did they think I wasn't capable of handling the situation?

I thought back and stopped.

I had been inconsolable after the whole thing. I had blamed myself for her death and was still carrying the guilt to this day. I swore I would never forgive myself for failing my family.

I heard Cassie pleading with Sam to let her talk to the woman but Sam adamantly said no. She said that Jack did not want her hurt anymore by this imposter and that her lies would be uncovered soon.

She let out a whisper, "So, that really isn't my mom, Sam?"

I shut my eyes. Wanting to stop her pain, I felt sick knowing I had failed her.

Why had I not been there for her? Why had I pushed her away when she needed me the most?

I heard Sam's voice crack, "She fooled all of us, Cass, it was a sick plot but one that we will uncover. We will get to the bottom of this. I'm sorry you had to go through this, I'm sorry if I've been a bad substitute for your mother and I'm sorry that I, too, believed that it was your mom down in that room. I've failed you again, Cassie, please forgive me?"

I heard more sobbing from the two of them and I'd had enough.

I was going to get answers from this imposter.

The anger in me rose. I would find out who was behind this and I would get my answers from the person that had inflicted this pain.

The woman that claimed to be Janet Fraiser would pay.

I needed something to convince the imposter that I was not playing around.

I needed a zat but where would I get one?

I remembered Sam was working on reverse engineering one and had it locked up in her desk.

I made my way there, broke into her desk, concealed it and made my way to the elevator.

She had to be in one of the isolation rooms. I pushed the button for that floor.

I stepped off, made my way around the corner and stopped.

Teal'c was guarding room one so that must be where she was being held. I had to get him and the other guard away from the door.

I went to the nearest phone and dialed the operator telling her that Teal'c was needed in the infirmary ASAP.

The guard's radio came to life with my bogus message.

Teal'c excused himself and I watched him board the elevator. I only had one obstacle left.

I walked up to the guard and he was surprised to see me. I assured him that Jack had filled me in and wanted me to talk to the imposter.

He said he was ordered not to let anyone in without the permission of the General. I smiled and asked him to contact Jack for clearance. He nodded and as he turned to use his radio, I pulled out the zat and shot him.

I pulled him to the side, grabbed his access card and let myself in.

I wasn't prepared and nearly fell when I saw her there on the bed, restrained and staring at me.

I lost my ability to speak. I closed my eyes and opened them again but she was still there. I stepped back thinking she was a ghost until she spoke.

"Daniel? Oh god, Daniel, please help me? They don't believe it's me and I know you'll believe me. You have to believe I'm me. This nightmare has to end now."

I couldn't breath. I tried to focus but the tears weren't letting me.

I wiped them away and closed my eyes again, wishing she were just an illusion or a figment of my imagination, because then I could deal with this. Deal with the fact that the woman I called friend, and had always wished for more, was alive and asking for my help. Then for a split second I thought I had abandoned her on that planet and she had miraculously made it back home.

She spoke again when I didn't respond.

"Daniel, where's Cassie? Have they harmed her? Daniel, please say something. Get me out of these restraints. Help me."

She looked desperate to get out of her restraints.

I moved closer and started to reach out to touch her when the camera caught my attention.

The screen was paused to the nightmare I had relived every night since that fateful day.

I stopped, picked up the camera and turned away.

Here was my proof that she was a liar.

I had been there when my sweet Janet had been taken from me.

"Daniel that tape is a lie. I am Janet Fraiser."

I turned around. I had had enough and something inside me snapped.

"Shut up, just shut up, you aren't Janet Fraiser. My friend died on that planet saving the life of another man because she wanted him to come home to his wife and unborn child, the same child that now carries her name. You're nothing but a fraud and I'm going to get to the bottom of this if it's the last thing I do. You've made a big mistake thinking I would help you but you're going to help me by telling me the truth or else."

I pulled out my zat.

Her eyes widened when she saw what was in my hand. The fear in her face was evident as she slowly began to speak to me again.

"Daniel, it's me. Of everyone I know, I thought you would believe me. I'm not lying. I am Janet Fraiser. I went to bed last night in my bed and awoke in a field 50 miles from nowhere, I came back to find my house empty and my daughter gone. I was then told that I have been dead for 8 months. My daughter is afraid of me; my best friend hasn't even come to see if I am okay. The colonel's threatened me and Teal'c is losing patience with me. Now you, the one I trust and count on, tells me you don't believe me and is pointing a zat at me wanting answers I've already given."

I had lost control.

Lie after lie, she couldn't stop. I looked at her and shook my head. No, this wasn't Janet. I put the camera down, called her a liar and fired.

The blue streams of electricity coursed through her body as she slumped to the side.

One shot stuns, two kills.

I heard the guard banging on the door and the alarms going off. I didn't have long.

I waited for her to come to again. She did and I pointed the zat at her recognizing the fear in her eyes.

"You've hurt enough people by trying to make us believe your lies. I won't let you hurt Sam or Cassie anymore. You will tell me what I want to know or suffer the consequences."

Tears started to fall from her face.

She bit her lip to stop it from quivering, looked straight into my eyes and spoke again.

"Like I told the Colonel and Teal'c, I am Janet Fraiser and I will not let you break me. I know who I am and I wish this nightmare would end. I know what you're doing, Daniel and if you shoot me again there will be no coming back. Just remember, Daniel I'll forgive you for what you're about to do because you think you're doing the right thing. I'm sorry you don't believe me but I am Janet Fraiser. I am the woman that helped you through your bad times and was there to cheer you for your good ones. I remember those late night discussions we had about life and what the future might hold for us. I will always hold those memories close to my heart."

She would never stop spouting her lies.

"This nightmare will end as soon as you tell me who the hell you're working for and what your mission is."

The door opened and I heard Jack yelling at me to stop. I also heard Sam, Cassie and Teal'c behind me trying to stop me from killing the imposter.

"Can't do that, Jack she's got to be stopped from spreading her lies. She's hurt Cassie and Sam. I've let all of you down and this is my way of making it up."

Cassie is telling me to stop and I can hear her struggling to get to me, "Daniel, No! Please don't do it."

Jack speaks again.

"Daniel, we need her alive."

"She doesn't have that option, Jack I've already zatted her once. So either she tells me the truth or…"

I aim the zat at the imposter.

She closes her eyes, as do I, not wanting to witness her death again.