IT'S ALL ON CAMERA!
By Caffeine Lover
Author's Note: I got this idea in the midst of eating lunch. My friend had chocolate cake…and well, chaos ensued in my mind. XD I know that it's way too darn early to post a Valentine-themed fic, but I don't care. Enjoy and read.
Disclaimer: "Art thou the owner of InuYasha?" proclaimed the lawyer. "No," I cried, desolate, "'tis Rumiko Takahashi!" – Shakespeare inspired : P
Scene Ten: The Art of Giving
Rating: General – except for the end (swearing involved)
Pairings: InuYasha x Kagome
Genres: Fluff; attempted humour
Warnings: Stupid humour, overuse of italics, love-themed
Summary: You know what they say…it is better to give than receive. Especially if the said gift can kill your enemy…
Scene Ten: The Art of Giving
Love was in the air!
Well, not really.
It was Valentine's Day, the one day of the year filled with dreaded candy hearts, frilly love cards, teddy bears singing "Unchained Melody" until it was overkill, and the sound of countless girls swooning and giggling as a hot guy passed by. It was once a day in history where you could confess your feelings to a person and not be shunned; it was once the one day of the year that you could have showed you cared, and not feel humiliated or be laughed at. But nooo, times just had to change.
Valentine's Day usually gave Kagome a most unwanted migraine – you know, the kind that pounds and thumps and kicks you brain until you turn off all the lights and sounds around you in order for it to be cured. Why did Kagome receive these headaches? Partially because many, many suitors had chased the poor girl before she had discovered the well, sending her countless e-cards, gift cards, and love cards, all with a corny pick-up line to boot ("I'll be the sword and you be the sheath, in more than one way, baby!"). Another reason was because those exact same suitors were still vying for her affection, which only proved that men are ignorant, simple-minded creatures ("Wanna go out with me on Saturday?" "Erm, no." "Okay…how about next Saturday?" "ARGH!").
But…those weren't it. The main reason why Kagome had a headache on this particular Valentine's Day was because
a) she didn't know what to get her friends in the Feudal Era for this holiday
b) she didn't know what to get InuYasha on this special occasion
c) she was still contemplating on whether or not to tell him that she likes – er, no, loves him
d) Grandpa had run out of diseases to "diagnose" her with, and so had told her classroom peers that she had a sudden bout of serious depression and social anxiety.
Great. Just dandy.
However, this wasn't the worst of it. The worst, most horrifying and disgusting part was when her male class and schoolmates had learned of this new "health problem", they had all offered to "heal her emotional trauma with their bodies".
So, how was it that Kagome Higurashi, the most wanted girl on campus, would rather be dealing with all of her dilemmas back in the twenty-first century than deal with the prospect of giving her overly-wrapped Valentine present to her beloved hanyou?
Love sure makes you do crazy things.
"Ano…InuYasha…uh, happy Valentine's Day!" Arms were extended out wide as an enormous smile graced her features, hands slightly quivering as she held the beautifully-wrapped rectangular package.
"…"
He blinked. She panicked. He scowled. She hyperventilated. He stared. She dropped the present.
"Uh…what?"
"What 'what'?" Blue-grey optics clouded over with confusion.
"What 'what what'?"
"No! I meant 'what' as in 'what'?"
"What 'what as in what'?"
"InuYasha, what – " pause… "GARH!!" Hands flew into the air in exasperation as the young priestess bended over to retrieve the forgotten parcel. "This is getting no where."
"Okay…" A thick eyebrow rose in question. "So, what?"
She sighed. He smirked. She spoke. He was slammed into the ground.
A string of unmentionable and un-child-friendly (this is a "kiddy allowed" drabble, ya know!) curses escaped from the half demon's lips, muffled by the intrusion of dirt in his mouth. Kagome huffed in slight irritation. Was she crazy? And she was worried and flustered over this guy?
"Look, do you want the present or not?"
"I don't really care," replied the hanyou a little crudely, clearly ticked off at being "osuwari-ed". "Just, what the heck is Va-wen-line's Day?"
A small "ooooh" sound formed on the reincarnation's lips, which was quickly replaced with an apologetic smile. "I thought that I had already explained this to you guys…well, maybe it was only to Miroku and Sango." A small, dainty left hand waved in the air absently, dismissing the topic. "Nevermind. Anyway, Valentine's Day is when you give the people that you care about flowers, cards, candy, chocolate, and whole lot of other mushy-gushy stuff…"
"Why?"
"To show them that you care, silly!"
"…" Amber eyes framed by thick lashes flickered downwards towards the neatly wrapped and overly-girly package within the woman's hands, curiosity suddenly empowering his mind. "So…you care about me?" His eyebrows raised in its hidden suggestions as he smirked lightly, a gleaming and sharp fang peaking out.
"Erm…yeah, I guess so…" A blush soon fell upon her tanned porcelain skin. "J-Just don't make anything of it!" She wrung her hands, flustered and embarrassed.
InuYasha chuckled lowly. "Can I have my present now?"
"Oh, yeah! Sorry."
His white claws made quick use of the wrapping paper (which tore Kagome's heart in two; wrapping that little brat was a bi - oops, child-friendly…almost forgot), the mountain-load of pink ribbons, glitter, and naked cupid gift tissue paper fell to the forest floor in dismay. He opened the box and took a careful, tentative whiff.
"What the heck is it?"
"It's candy." Very expensive candy, Kagome mused remorsefully, remembering how those treats had burned a hole in her once-full wallet.
"Is it good?" Golden eyes darkened in suspicion.
"I don't know; I've never tried any!" She scowled, annoyed. "Look, it's not like that I'd try and kill you or anything. Just be glad that I didn't plan to give you chocolate like I had for Miroku and Sango!"
"Why? What's wrong with chocolate?" The inuhanyou clearly remembered his human companions munching away happily at the brown substance, face content as if the treat they were eating were from the Kamis themselves. Heck, even Shippo and Kirara had eaten them before! Why hasn't he – the protector and leader of the group – had any of this "chocolate" stuff?
"Didn't you know? Chocolate is poison for dogs!"
"WHA – I'm NOT a dog!"
You sure act like one. "But you're an inu youkai, InuYasha."
"So? It's not like a little chocolate would hurt me. Besides, I'm half-human, remember?"
"Nugh-uh!" Kagome shook her head. "Chocolate has a fatal effect on dogs. And yes, I know that you're part human, InuYasha, but I'm still not willing to take the risk."
"Fatal effect? What kind of fatal effect?"
"Well, dogs can die from chocolate consumption if they're not treated right away…"
Kagome suddenly wished that she had gone with her first instinct, which was to jump back into the well and lunge herself at the hormonal male population of her school. Dealing with them and their lecherous-minds was much better than seeing the sudden dangerous and evil glint that had taken over InuYasha's usually solemn amber optics, filling the young girl with worry and fear.
Oh my God! What's he thinking?
"…So, they can die?"
She nodded, her voice lost.
"Kagome, do you have an extra box of chocolate somewhere?" Again, the girl nodded.
"What're you going to do with it, InuYasha?"
"It is Valentine's Day," began the hanyou sagely, eyes twinkling with mischief. "It is the perfect time to show that I care."
Kagome never quite understood what InuYasha had meant with that comment, especially since he had immediately popped a candy into his mouth and then kissed her senseless (shocking the poor girl off her feet!), which somehow ended up with Kagome eating the said candy instead.
Yes, Valentine's Day really sucked. Sure, the kissing part and the candy-exchange was fine (InuYasha + orange…yummy!), but the sudden romantic afternoon that she had with the hanyou was sure to prove disastrous – a premonition of evil ahead.
That was an omen in itself.
A Few Days Later…
Deep in the forest, the stoic and majestic inuyoukai lord walked, pace never faltering as he neared his destination. His vassal and ward were bickering, as per usual, while his ever-faithful dragon demon watched closely for any signs of oncoming danger behind them. Sesshomaru's inhumanly handsome face was void of any emotion, but if you looked closely, you could see just a smidge of curiosity lacing his brow.
Finally, he had reached his destination.
"Bokusen'on," announced the youkai lord with superiority (but with a hint of respect), "why have you asked me to meet you in this dreaded place?" The large demonic tree opened his bug-like eyes almost reluctantly, smiling slightly at the son of his long-lost friend.
"There is something here for you. Look down."
True to his words, at the foot of the tree lay a simply-wrapped present with a note attached to it. Sesshomaru picked it up and noticed the faint smell of his brother, InuYasha, along with the smell of his human wench. However…this thing also carried something else…something that smelled heavenly…
He read the elegant script:
Sesshomaru,
Hey, jackass. Happy Valentine's Day, and enjoy the damn chocolates.
By the way, this does not mean anything. We're still enemies.
The hanyou who can still kick your ass,
InuYasha
P.S.
Did I mention to eat each and every single one of them?
And…CUT!
Coffee Corner: Erm, I don't really know any of the Japanese traditions when it comes to Valentine's Day, so don't get angry at me if I just placed the American form of it in. Besides, it's FANFICTION! Not everything is based on fact… ::shifty eyes:: By the way, should I do a sequel to this? No sequel? Please reply in a review!
And many of you might have noticed that neither Sango nor Miroku had made an appearance in this drabble. Well, they flew off…somewhere…to do…something. It's called "eliminating the minor characters" so that the main canon pairing can confess their love and get on with life. This is quite a common technique found in fanfiction, mind you ;-)
Poor, POOR Sesshomaru…I wonder what would happen if he really did eat the chocolate delights. I mean, he is a full dog demon, right? Only a sequel will tell. XD
Don't you DARE press that button! HORRIBLE THINGS WILL HAPPEN! Don't! DO NOT… NOO! Your mouse has to STAY AWAY from that lusciously tempting purple review button…NOOOOOO.
Reverse psychology always works, babes :-)
Much love and Pocky,
Caffeine Lover