Thanks to all of you that are continuing to read. Four days since the funeral, and Blaine's deterioration is about to come to a head...
Day 4 : Sam
After another night of periods of brief sleep, interspersed with horrific nightmares, Blaine awoke to another bright sunny day in an even worse mood than on the previous day. His guilt at his confrontation with Santana had not lasted - he felt now that she had had it coming. His love for Kurt Unicorn was growing, giving Cooper great cause for concern, as he had spent most of the money talking away to the toy as if it was Kurt. At lunch, Blaine refused to eat anything more than a handful of Graham crackers; even those were only consumed to get Cooper to stop nagging him for a minute. Afterwards, Blaine retreated back to his room. Cooper sighed, and began to ponder a new problem. He needed to go and buy food, but he did not want to either leave Blaine alone, or take him to the market with him.
Salvation it seemed came in the form of a tentative knock at the door. Cooper hesitated to open it; he prayed it wasn't someone on a religious mission, that Blaine would pounce on and attack verbally. It wasn't. It was the only person left that Cooper felt his brother might actually talk to about how he was feeling. It was still a risk, but he knew how close they were. If anyone could get through, it would be Sam. Blaine's best friend, his secret crush for so long. The person that had held him together whilst he and Kurt had been apart. Sam was also fully aware what he was getting into, and was still willing to give it a try.
With Sam in the house, Cooper felt confident enough to make the quick trip to buy food, and left. Sam meantime began to psyche himself up for his visit to Blaine. When he had announced his intentions on Facebook that morning, Mike had told him that he was mad to even consider it given his track record. Santana had warned him to be prepared for a severe tongue lashing. Emma had emphasised the need to show him warmth and affection, and to allow Blaine to be in control. Brittany had asked him to give her love to Kurt Unicorn. Sam was just hoping that things weren't going to get too personal. That he could keep his temper if Blaine said something to provoke him. His main aim was that maybe, just maybe, he could get Blaine to smile.
He found Blaine clutching his toy unicorn to his heart. More disturbingly, he was whispering to it. "Well Kurt, Cooper has gone out, so that means that there is somebody here, because I am too psycho to leave alone at the moment. Lost the plot. I wonder who it is? Mr Schue? Sue? Wes?"
"It's me Blaine," said Sam. "I couldn't go back to New York whilst you need me around. I'm sorry that it has taken me so long to get here, but getting past Coop is hard. Someone else always seemed to beat me here. But today I made it in first. So I'm at your disposal, Blaine. For whatever you want. If you want to talk, then I'll listen. You don't, then I will. You are my best friend. Don't ever forget that. I love you man."
"Ah, Sam. At least you managed to speak to me. Tina maintained silence and Emma… well I didn't give her a chance. Do I want to talk? Nope, nothing of interest to say. Probably a lot like what you are intending to talk to me about. Not really of much interest Sam. As I keep telling people, I just want to be left alone. I have my new pal Kurt Unicorn to talk to - he listens, doesn't judge me, or give me advice. If I was you Sam, I'd just go and forget about me. I'm not socially acceptable anymore. I'm a wreck."
"You're not getting rid of me that easily. I'm here for the long haul, Blaine. I value my friendships, and yours more than most. What sort of friend would I be if I ran when things got tough? Someday you'll thank me for this. When you are back to your old self."
"My old self Sam? You are waiting in vain for that. My old self was in love with Kurt, lived to be with him. Fearlessly and forever. Through all eternity. So now that he is gone, has said goodbye without intending to, my old self can no longer exist. He is buried alongside Kurt in the cold ground. What you get now is this Sam. A gutted shell, a half witted lunatic that talks to toy unicorns as if they were human. Someone with no heart, no sympathy. A tortured soul. The old Blaine is gone, and he ain't coming back."
"I'll take my chances and wait. Do you think that Kurt would want you to be like this? Angry, bitter, pushing everyone away? He would expect us to be there for you, through thick and thin. Everyone else might have run away, given up, But I won't"
"I would if I was you. Because this is not like before. We became best friends when I had lost Kurt, but still had a hope of getting him back. You helped me to achieve that and I love you for it. But unless you have a tardis hidden away somewhere, you can't do that this time."
"I can still help you, be there for whatever, whenever. I'll move in here with you and Cooper if it helps. Give up my plans. I just want to help, because I need you back."
"So it's not pure philanthropy then. You need me back to my old self. Why Sam? You have other friends that are less screwed up than me. And how guilty do you think that I will feel knowing that I am stopping you living your life? Knowing that I am holding you back here in Ohio, when you should be in New York, working to get your junk on the side of a city bus? It would eat away at me Sam, make the whole situation much, much worse. Kurt dead, your life as good as over. All on me. As for the idea of you moving in here, not a good one. Between mad me and egotistical Coop, you'd end up in the county asylum. Which is were I should be if we are being honest."
"I promise you Blaine that I just want to help. I can't go to New York and leave you, the guilt would eat me up. I want to stay here and care for you. You are so important to me. My best friend. Loyal. Honest. Considerate. Please, just let me help"
"Ha, you think I'm honest? You really don't know me that well after all. Remember that day when you asked me about guilty pleasures? And you realised that you were mine? And we hugged it out? Those breath mints were in the opposite pocket to what you felt. I was achingly hard for you at that point. I cam back here that night and jerked off thinking about you and that hug. Thinking how I wished that I had just flung you over the piano and….well you can guess the rest…."
Sam had gone pale, but Blaine wasn't finished. "So, you said you would do whatever you could to help me? Let's try something…come here, onto the bed. And hug me. Kiss me. Get me off Sam. After all you said that you would do anything. Maybe that could get the old Blaine back, a Blam make out session…"
"You don't mean it Blaine," Sam stuttered. "You're testing me, trying to shock me. I won't work. Not on me. I know you too well"
"Really Sam? You're not willing to risk it though by coming over here, are you? Don't trust me enough. Maybe I'll just have to come over to you instead…."
Before Sam could even speak, Blaine was up and moving towards him. The look in his eyes terrified him. He had never seen him like this - crazed and not caring about what he was about to do. Sam realised that he had to move. If he let him get to him, their friendship would be ruined by the worst possible means - the breaking of the boundaries between a gay and a straight man. Reluctantly, he stepped backwards into the hall. Blaine followed, forcing Sam to stumble backwards, towards the top of the stairs. Suddenly, he found that he was unable to keep his emotions in check anymore. He burst into tears and started to beg Blaine to stop. Now he stood at the top of the stairs, teetering on the lip of the top step. Still Blaine advanced, as if he meant to push Sam down the stairs.
"Blaine, stop, please. Just stop. Do you want me to get hurt like you. Is that it? Do you want to break me? Or worse, be dead like Kurt? Two deaths for you to feel responsible for? Would you like that? Mike was right, you are sick. You need help. I naively thought that that help could come from me. Clearly not."
Blaine stopped, his eyes no longer blazing. And began to tear up instead, as if realisation had come. But it was too late - Sam was slumped on the floor sobbing, flinching when Blaine stretched out a hand to apologise, to comfort him. He turned back towards his room in tears, and heard the sound of running feet, of the front door slamming. Sam, his best friend was gone. He had driven him away.
Sam ran down the drive of the Anderson house, his tears streaming unchecked down his face. Out onto the sidewalk, to a spot where he could collapse, bury his head in his hands and sob. He was torn apart - his best friend had turned on him and it hurt so much. Back inside, Blaine was equally distraught, but was reacting in a different way. The contents of his room were being thrown about, some of it flying out of the open window. Little seemed sacred - Kurt Unicorn, and his framed photographs of Kurt remained untouched, as did his scrapbooks. All the rest, books, clothes and furnishings fell victim. It was to this scene that Cooper returned.