Thanks again for all of the feedback. Ya'll are amazing. Truly. I meant to update last night, but my internet was down. T-T
I don't know about you guys, but I'm thinking that this story was totally just crying out for a slow down, pick-up-right-where-we-left off, un-intense, collect yourself kind of a chapter. We're moving from crisis to crisis here, and sometimes life is like that, but when it is, you have to demand a break before you lose it. And that's what Seto's doing.
R/R, thanks again!
As Seto pulled out of the mechanic shop, he wondered silently exactly what the hell he had just done. It appeared as though he had just confessed the problem that had been troubling him and haunting him for the last week. It also appeared that he had just confessed it to Joey Wheeler.
It was so wrong, and so upsetting that it almost didn't upset him.
That didn't make any sense at all.
The worst part of all was how much better it made him feel. Yes, he hadn't cared nor believed Joey at the time when he'd said that the things that he was feeling were normal, but it was as though some micro-part of Seto's subconscious had been put to rest. Now maybe, just maybe, the dreams would stop. Hell, what dreams? Those were nightmares. They had been driving him insane. They were like all of the Gozaburo-dreams, but things were switched. In the dreams, he was himself – only his child-self. However, Gozaburo wasn't Gozaburo. The terrifying and foreboding presence in the dream was his current, grown-up self.
And the concept of it horrified Seto.
But with the daylight and the people and the real, moving world, things were much less scary. The lack of reason and sheer irrationality showed up more than the fear. Well, maybe that wasn't all just the daylight. Maybe something had happened that really did change how he felt. A part of him, well, more than just a part, hoped that it would reflect during his slumber as well.
Seto suddenly realized that he hadn't even taken a sip of his coffee. It was funny; he didn't even really like coffee – that much. He usually only drank it around midnight or in the wee hours of the morning, when he needed the kind of caffeine rush that oolong tea alone didn't pack. But somehow, it appealed right now. He was glad that he had ordered decaf, though; his emotions were finally starting to mellow out. And he wanted them to stay that way.
It occurred to Seto that there was really only a certain amount of surprise and adrenaline that somebody could take before they finally went into stupor-mode. So much crazy stuff had gone on in the last week, day, hour. Perhaps he'd reached his limit.
And what a mercy that was.
The coffee was perfect drinking temperature, and he downed it in fewer than three stoplights. A few minutes later, Seto reached the deciding intersection. Left would take him to work. Right would take him home. He was already pushing down on the turn signal when it occurred to him that he didn't really have to work, if he wasn't up to it.
He didn't have to step into his office and relive his childhood and last Tuesday, to top it all off. Honestly, it would be better if he didn't. Seto almost laughed at how strange that sounded coming from within himself. Take Saturday afternoon off? Take Saturday afternoon off. Ha. It wasn't like he had some stupid boss that would bust him for claiming a few hours of vacation-time. He made a definitive upward push on the lever to the left of the steering wheel, and the right signal-arrow started blinking on his dashboard. Mokuba would be so surprised.
Seto suddenly found himself wondering what there was to eat back at the house. Funny, coffee generally made him lose his appetite, but for whatever reason he suddenly realized how hungry he was. He actually wanted to go in and get something to eat. That would certainly please Mokuba as well. Wow, that kid was beginning to sound more like his dad than his younger brother. Well, kudos to him; somebody needed to be. And whoever could take over a role like that and maintain some semblance of sanity deserves a hell of a lot of kudos.
He'd take the kid out for pizza. Yes, that's what he would do. It had been years since they'd done something like that. With this in mind, Seto almost smiled. He couldn't wait to see the look on Mokuba's face when he drove in. Better even when he told him their plans for the evening.
Wow. What exactly was he doing?
Seto had almost failed to notice how strangely he was acting. Almost, but not quite. What had brought this on? It couldn't have been his conversation with Joey… could it? Impossible. But then… he had been afraid to spend too much time with Mokuba, since that day in his office. And it had been eating him from the inside. His little brother was his conscience, his purpose, his everything. The last few days had been unbearable.
But now, somehow, things were feeling okay again.
Seto finally reached the gates of the mansion and pulled out his key-card. The two wrought-iron monstrosities that his stepfather had installed for security purposes swung open widely, allowing for the passage of Seto's sleek convertible. However, he didn't get in too far before his path was blocked by an over-excited whirlwind of a ten-year-old.
"Seto!" Mokuba exclaimed, running up beside the car. "What are you doing home so early?"
"Taking the day off," Seto replied brusquely. Mokuba gave him a strange look.
"It's not my birthday yet," he reminded Seto slowly. Seto shook his head.
"I know, but I still need some time off. Those meetings… they take it out of you."
Mokuba nodded solemnly. A moment of silence passed before Seto spoke up, sounding slightly more upbeat than before.
"Hey kid – how about we get an early dinner somewhere? Are you up for pizza?"
Mokuba gave Seto a look of ecstatic surprise.
"Am I EVER!" he exclaimed, all but jumping into the car. Seto laughed.
"You know," he said kind of thoughtfully. "I am too."
With this, Seto did an abrupt turn that practically spun the car where it sat. Mokuba laughed.
"You have to teach me how to do that, Nii-sama."
Seto shook his head, smiling slightly.
"I think you'll need to learn some of the basics first – such as where the brake pedal is."
Mokuba rolled his eyes.
"You know, it's not too long until I will need to start learning to drive, Seto."
"That's not a comforting thought, little brother," Seto said, smiling rather bemusedly.
Mokuba ignored this remark.
"Hey Seto!" he exclaimed. "I got a ninety-six on that pre-algebra test I took yesterday!"
"Really?" Seto inquired, his look brightening. "That's awesome."
The two had pulled almost an all-nighter studying for that midterm. Mokuba was horrendous at math. His language arts and orchestra grades were high enough to ease the sting that his pre-algebra grade had on his GPA, but Seto insisted that Mokuba would be lost in geometry and later algebra classes if he didn't try a little harder.
"Yeah – Murasaka-sama said it was almost like having you back again."
Seto nodded, agreeing that was a fair remark.
"I guess it would be like that."
A few moments of silence passed before they pulled up to the local pizza parlor, but it was a pleasant silence. Seto had put in a classical music CD that the two had ordered so that Mokuba could listen to the songs that he would be playing at the next orchestra concert. Finally, they arrived.
"I haven't been here since almost last week!" Mokuba laughed as he got out of the passenger's side.
"It's been slightly longer than that for me," Seto replied, hearing the loud music pouring in and assuming a look of distaste. Mokuba snickered.
"It's not so bad, Seto," he said. "And the food is awesome."
"Whatever you say, little brother."
Once the two had been seated, they opened their menus and started mulling over the many options.
"I kinda like pineapple," Mokuba observed as he looked over the toppings. Seto raised an eyebrow.
"You can get that on your half, then. I'm leaning towards mushroom or something harmless like that."
"Okay, but we have to order breadsticks."
About the time the two had decided, the waiter walked up. To Seto's surprise and slight irritation, it was definitely somebody that he knew.
"Hey, it's Seto Kaiba!" Zell exclaimed. Mokuba looked over at Seto, surprised that he would know a random high-schooler working at a pizza joint.
"Hello," Seto replied awkwardly. Zell, prepared for this, didn't miss a beat.
"That must be your little brother," he said, smiling at the two of them. Seto nodded.
"Yes, that's Mokuba."
"Nice to meet ya, man," Zell said. "Your brother talks about you all the time."
Mokuba laughed.
"Yeah, I bet he does."
"So are you guys decided about your pizza yet?" Zell asked, whipping a little notebook out of his back pocket.
"We are," Seto replied. "One medium, half with mushroom and green pepper – "
"Yeah, make that a large, extra price on the house," Zell said as he scribbled something only slightly legible on the paper. "I got ya."
"And the other half with pineapple and pepperoni," Mokuba finished.
Zell shrugged, laughing.
"That's new, but whatever," he said. "I'll be back in just a few minutes."
Once he left, Mokuba started asking questions.
"Seto, he's so cool!" he exclaimed. "How do you know him?"
"He goes to the meetings," Seto replied, a little stiffly. "He's a friend of Wheeler's."
"Joey Wheeler?" Mokuba all but whispered. "What does he go to the meetings for?"
"His dad was an alcoholic," Seto explained, trying to hide his discomfort.
"Seto, that's horrible," Mokuba said, his look still one of amazement.
"No more horrible than what we went through."
"Well, yeah, but Joey's different than we are. Joey's normal," Mokuba said, searching for the right word but not able to come up with anything.
"We're not normal?" Seto demanded, knowing in his heart exactly what his brother was getting at, but feeling the need to question anyway.
"No, we're not," Mokuba replied. "I have trouble getting to know people, you know that. I'm too quiet around other people. And you have the nightmares…"
"I know what you mean," Seto replied. "I hadn't guessed it about Joey either."
"And that boy, too. The one that's our waiter. I never would have guessed it about him, either."
"Yeah," Seto agreed. "Maybe he and Joey had hard times too, but remember that they're on the other end of the tunnel from me. They're coming out of it. My battle is just beginning."
"I know," Mokuba said solemnly, putting his hand over his brother's. "But you'll win it. You always win battles, Nii-sama."
Seto smiled, looking up at his brother.
"Thanks, Mokie," he said softly. "That means a lot."
After a few minutes of silence, not unlike the silence in the car, conversation regarding Mokuba's math test resumed. He had missed a single question, and it had been because of a misplaced negative in the answer.
"It really sucks when it happens that way," Seto sympathized, "but at least you know that you know it."
"Yeah," Mokuba agreed. "But I would like the teacher to know that I know it too."
Seto laughed.
"I'm sure he does."
"Alright, everybody," Zell said as he approached, despite the fact that there was only the two of them. "I've got one bizarre pizza, but I think it's what you ordered. And if it's not, it's definitely not my fault."
It was Mokuba's turn to laugh.
"It is," he replied. "And it looks weirder in person."
"I agree," Zell replied. "Hope you guys enjoy. I'll have Les come over to refill your drinks. He's being a slacker. And I'll be sure and tell Luka I ran into you guys."
Seto and Mokuba thanked him and began to eat.
"This is the best pizza ever, Nii-sama," Mokuba said between bites.
"I'm glad," Seto said, "but you come here all the time. Is it different than usual?"
"No, the pizza isn't different," Mokuba replied thoughtfully. "But you're here – so it's better."
Seto smiled, swallowing abruptly to avoid tearing up.
"Thanks, Mokuba."
The two enjoyed the rest of the evening immensely, between laughter at the catastrophe of Mokuba's never-ending string of cheese as he attempted to move a slice of the pizza to his plate and Seto's shock when he got sweet tea instead of unsweet. Overall, they had a blast together. When the time finally came to leave, Seto decided suddenly to leave a much larger tip than usual. What the hell.
As they walked out of the doors, Mokuba spoke up.
"I had a great time, Nii-sama," he said, taking his brother's hand.
"I did too, Mokuba," Seto replied.
The two walked together in peace for a moment, before Seto's cell phone sounded. Muttering a curse under his breath, Seto pulled it out from under his coat.
"Seto Kaiba, KaibaCorp," he said impatiently. However, the voice on the other line almost made him gasp out loud.
"It's me," Joey said urgently. "And I've got some news that I don't think you're going to like."
"Speeding Cars" - Imogen Heap
Here's the day you hoped would never come
Don't feed me violence, just run with me
Through rows of speeding cars
The paper cuts, the cheating lovers
The coffee's never strong enough
I know you think it's more than just bad luck
There, there, baby
It's just text book stuff
It's in the ABCs of growing up
Now, now, darlin'
Oh don't lose your head
'Cause none of us were angels
And you know I love you, yeah
Sleeping pills, no sleeping dogs lie never
Far enough away
Glistening in the cold sweat of guilt
I've watched you slowly winding down for years
You can't keep on like this
Now is as bad of time as any
There, there, baby
It's just text book stuff
It's in the ABCs of growing up
Now, now, darlin'
Oh don't kill yourself
'Cause none of us were angels
And you know I love you, yeah
It's okay by me
It's okay by me
It's okay by me
It was a long time ago
It's okay by me
It's okay by me
It's okay by me
It was a long time ago
There, there, baby
It's just text book stuff
It's in the ABCs of growing up
Now, now, darlin'
Oh don't lose your head
'Cause none of us were angels
And you know I love you, yeah
There, there, baby
It's just text book stuff
It's in the ABCs of growing up
Now, now, darlin'
Oh, don't kill yourself
'Cause none of us were angels
And you know I love you, yeah