Jasper: Holy Motherfucking Pancakes.
Bella: What the cr-*is cut off by Edwards hand over her mouth*
Edward: No! Bad Bella! No swearing! You're grounded. Go to your room! *drags Bella upstairs*
Alice: Riiight….HOLY CRAP!!
Felyx: What…the...fuck?
Emmett: I'M ON FUCKING FIRE! *runs round in circles*
Felyx: Dude…Really?
Emmett: Chyeah. *looks in mirror* Wait, shit…I'M ON FIRE *screams*
Alice: When you're on fire, avoid looking into the mirror cause that's what REALLY throws you into a panic.
Maelee: Wait, how the hell did you catch on fire in the first place?
Felyx: Do you think that REALLY matters now?
Maelee: I'm curious!
Bella: *Coming back down the stairs* I will NOT stay in my room all- HOLY CRAP!
*Emmett runs past Bella and catches her on fire*
Bella: YOU IDIOT, I'M ON FIRE! *Stops, drops and rolls*
Emmett: That looks effective! *Flops around on the floor* WHY ISN'T IT WORKING?
Jasper: Because you're seizing, not rolling.
Emmett: THERE'S A DIFFERENCE?
Jasper: YES. There is. But this is amusing.
*Everyone watches Emmett roll/seize on the ground for a minute*
Rosalie: Okay, this is getting annoying, let's put him out.
Alice: Preferably before he, ya know, dies and shit.
Bella: Awww, wuwd someone miss hiiiim?
Rosalie: No, you idiot, him being gone would make the world a better place. Esme would just beat the shit out of us for getting ashes everywhere.
Bella: Oh…Well…*cough*
Rosalie: Leave. Now.
Bella: *Sniff sniff* FINE. *Leaves*
Jasper: I'll go get the fire extinguisher… *Comes back with fire extinguisher and sprays it on Emmett*
Emmett: Yaaaay!
Alice: How the hell did you catch on fire in the first place?
Emmett: Played with matches. Hee hee…
Edward: NO! BAD. *Smacks Emmett on the nose*
Emmett: *flings monkey poo* TAKE THAT EDDIE.
Edward: *turns purple* I'M NOT CALLED EDDIE! IT'S EDWARD.
Emmett: Sureeeeeee, we all know your real name.
Edward: *scared* Y-y-yeah?
Emmett: EDWINA!
Edward: GASP! How did you find out?
Emmett: The ninjas told me. *Gives Felyx and Maelee a secret look, and they bust a rock in victory of their ninjalicness*
Alice: Ha ha ha ha ha, Edwina has the "weena" sound in it.
Everyone Else: Ha ha ha ha ha!
Emmett: Ha ha ha, point and laugh at Edwina, ha ha ha! *They all point and laugh at Edwina*
Edward: I'm gonna… sit in a corner now… *sits in a corner and rocks back and forth*
Jasper: Yeah, well, I've run out of ideas, so I'm gonna stand on my head *stands on head*
Emmett: :O
Jasper: I know, right?
Emmett: *eye twitch*
Jasper: Yeahhh….
Emmett: *eye twitch*Jasper: Yeahhh…. LET'S GO AND DO SOMETHING!Alice: Like what?Jasper: Erm…Emmett: Let's go to Chuck E. Cheese!Rosalie: YES. To the Volvo! Alice: *Snaps twice* Come, Edwina!Edward: Yes Mastwa… *They all attempt to fit into the Volvo*Emmett: I don't think we'll all fit…Rosalie: AMAZING powers of observation you : Why thank : You are literally too stupid to : Thank : *Smacks head*Jasper: So what are we gonna do?Maelee: I WANNA GO TO CHUCK E. CHEESE!Jasper: I… don't think we… : NOOOOO! Despair!*Llamas, hearing despair, run forward in Superman suits*Llamas: Duh duh duh DUH da DUUUUH!Felyx: Gasp! All hope is restored!Bella: *Walks in* To animals wearing their underwear outside their pants?*Llamas glare at Bella for her dissing their epic fashion, and she runs away*Edward: TO THE LLAMAS! *They all hop on a llama, and they head to Chuck E. Cheese*
Emmett: Uhh…
*They arrive and run in. Emmett, of course, runs over to Chuck E Cheese himself*
Emmett: *huggles* OMG OMG OMG! I'M YOUR BIGGEST FAN! *squeals*
*Chuck E Cheese magically gets set on fire*
Emmett: Oh shit…I'm ON FUCKING FIRE AGAIN!
CEC: FORGET THAT! I'M ON FUCKING FIRE YOU FUCKING DICK! WHAT THE FUCK AM I GONNA DO???
*Kids gasp and start crying*
Alice: I just take a grape
Felyx: And I jizz in my pants
Rosalie: TAKE YOUR JIZZ SOMEWHERE ELSE!
Felyx: Well fine. *flicks hair and storms out*
Alice: Yeah. *follows*
Outside…
Felyx: So… what are we gonna do now?
Alice: I thought you had a plan!
Felyx: Naw, I just wanted to dramatically storm out.
Alice: I know! We can go to the mall!
Felyx: Yes yes. Let's get Nugget and Fwank.
*They get the llamas and go to the mall*
Security Guard: There are no llamas allowed in the mall. You'll have to leave or tie them up somewhere.
Alyx (Felyx + Alice :D): NEVAH! *Llamas run him over*
Alice: I feel accomplished.
Some Girl: Why are you here on llamas?
Felyx: I was told to take my jizz elsewhere. And why WOULDN'T we have llamas?
Girl: True. And I've also been told to take my jizz elsewhere. I'm Tina. I believe I know your gay brother Edward. I gave him extensions.
Alice: Oh yeah. We've had our suspicions about Edwina…
Tina: That's his real name? Ha ha ha, it has the "weena" sound…
Alice: I know!
Felyx: You are our new partner in crime.
Tina: Wooo!
Alice: You need a llama… *Does llama whistle and Cheezecake comes flying over*
Cheezecake: *Salutes*
Alice: You shall be giving our new partner in crime, Tina, a ride.
Cheezecake: *Nods as Tina climbs on her back*
Felyx: LLAMA RACES!
*They race their llamas through the mall for an hour*
Tina: To the fountain! *They sit at the fountain*
Llama conversation:
Fwank: *Sniffs*
Cheezecake: What?
Fwank: Oh nothing… sigh…
Nugget: Either say what the hell is wrong or shut the hell up.
Fwank: THAT is what's wrong. You're always such a jerk!
Nugget: Wha?
Fwank: You know what! *sniffles* You're always so mean! And you're not supportive!
Nugget: You're such a girl…
Fwank: See! And you never supported my career to be the first to Pluto…
Nugget: Why would you wanna go there? It's not even a planet.
Cheezecake: Yes. It. Is. Scientists are just jealous because THEY aren't planets…
Fwank: ARE YOU CHEATING ON ME?
Nugget: Well THAT was random…
Cheezecake: Just tell him the truth, Nugget.
Fwank: What? What are you talking about? *Starts having a spaz attack*
Cheezecake: He's… STRAIGHT.
Fwank: WHAT?
Nugget: It's true.
Fwank: So you've been stringing me along this whole time? And for what? NOTHING! *Sobs girlishly*
Nugget: I was confuzzled! But it all makes sense now… I'm in love with Brookey.
Cheezecake: Gasp!
Fwank: NOOOOO!
Nugget: I'm sorry. It just sorta happened. Things shouldn't have to end this way between us, but…
Fwank: NO EXCUSES! NO APOLOGIES! It's OVER! What do you even see in that skank?
Nugget: Everything you aren't!
Fwank: GRAAAWREEEEEARRRRRRR! *Lunges at Nugget*
Cheezecake: No! Don't! PICK FLOWERS, NOT FIGHTS! Oh fuck it. *Joins the fight*
Alice: What the hell?
Felyx: Yeeeaaahhh…
Alice: Okayyy…now what?
Felyx: *holds up pickles* OI! FWANK! GET THE DAMN PICKLES!
[Llamas]
Fwank: OMG PICKLES! *jumps for them*
Nugget: You have such a one track mind. Brookey is my love now.
Fwank: *snorts and eats pickles*
Alice: Let's go find the others…They're *thinks* having A HOTBOX PARTY? WITHOUT US? C'MON GUYS, LET'S GO JOIN DAT PAR-TAYYYYY!
*They all get on their llamas and zoom off to the house.*
Talyx (Tina, Alice, Felyx :D) : WOOOOO! *runs upstairs to bathroom*
[Llama Convo]
Nugget: BROOKEY! I MISSED YO-*stops*
*Brookey is kissing Percy*
Nugget: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Fwank: Now you know how it feels. BUUURN. *Munches pickle*
Nugget: This is so… depressing… I must go…
*Nugget goes to the garage*
Nugget: I shall write a poem to get rid of my feelings…
Found out my love's cheating,
that does suck,
what will I do,
without my whorey llama SLUT…
I feel so depressed,
My love is kissing someone else
It really isn't fair,
Now my heart has a tear,
I have nothing left
Except my friend,
Who is in love with me,
But I fucked it up
Cause I'm such a dick.
Nugget: Yeah. That's a bitchin' poem.
*Cheezecake comes down*
Cheezecake: Heeeyyyy Dude, I brings WEED!!!!
Nugget: Muh.
Cheezecake: Exsqueeze me? WEED! WEEEEEED…
Nugget: Meh. Depressing emotions… crushing me…
Cheezecake: That's why I have the weed, silly gooseling!
Nugget: Muh meh. I'm just not in the mood…
Cheezecake: WEEEEED…
Nugget: Fuck off.
Cheezecake: I know what will make you feel better! *Slowly extends leg to Nugget's tummy…* POOOOKE!
Nugget: Ha ha ha…
Cheezecake: Yaaaay!
Nugget: *insane laugh* AND THEN YOU LIKE, POKED ME LIKE POOOOKE! !
Cheezecake: Ooookay then…
Nugget: I WANNA BE FAMOUS, WANNA BE A STAR, WANNA HAVE BOOBIES! WANNA SEE THE WORLD, DRIVE NICE CARS, HAVE MORE BOOBIES!
Cheezecake: Dude, we didn't even start smoking the fucking weed yet.
Nugget: I'm getting in the mood. Now let's do this thang.
*They start smoking ze weed*
Nugget: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!
Cheezecake: Yeeeeeeah…
Nugget: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!
Cheezecake: HEY! YOU DA LLAMA! YOU CAN DO IT! WHO DA LLAMA?
Nugget: I'M DA LLAMA!
Cheezecake: WHO'S DA LLAMA?
Nugget: I'M DA LLAMA!
Cheezecake: WHO'S DA LLAMA?
Nugget: I'M DA LLAMA!
Cheezecake: WHO'S DA LLAMA?
Nugget: I'M DAAAAA LLLAMAAAAAAA!
Cheezecake: GO GET FWANK! PROCLAIM UNDYING LOVE! YOU DA LLAMA!
Nugget: I CAN DO THIS! I'M DA LLAMA! *Runs up to Fwank*
Nugget: I am here to proclaim my undying lurve for you!
Fwank: *Sob* YAAAAAAAY! All hope in the world is restored! EAT THAT, BROOKEY! *Makes out with Nugget*
Cheezecake: I've taught him well… *Sniff sniff* I'M SO PROUD.
Cola: YEEEEEAH, GET SOOOOOME!
Meanwhile…
Emmett: Dude. This isn't funny anymore. I'm still on fire.
Rosalie: Well Done.
Emmett: THANKS! :D
Rosalie: *face palm*
Emmett: Don't judge me! I'M SMART!
Rosalie: Prove it.
Emmett: Have you ever realized that tuna smells like dead fish?
Rosalie: Emmett, tuna IS a fish.
Emmett: No it's not! Tuna is a tuna!
Rosalie: *Slaps head* Let's just… forget this conversation…
Emmett: Okay… What is the bestiest animal in the world?
Rosalie: An eagle, because it dominates, like MOI.
Emmett: WRONG! A WEASEL!
Rosalie: Ew.
Emmett: GASPNESS! No way, weasels are better.
Rosalie: Further proves that you are an idiot.
Emmett: I SHALL PROVE YOU WRONG! Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
Rosalie: *Silence*
Emmett: OWNED.
Rosalie: Okay, so I may have-
Emmett: WAIT! MY GOLDFISH IS DROWNING! I SHALL BE BACK IN A MINUTE!*Runs out of the room*
Rosalie: What the fuck?
*Emmett runs back in and sits down*
Rosalie: Did you realize that fish can't drown?
Emmett: No. I realized that I don't have a goldfish.
Rosalie: Emmett…How can I say this nicely? You're an idiot.
Emmett: At least I'm a clever idiot.
Rosalie: IDIOTS AREN'T CLEVER!
Emmett: Too bad they are cause I'm clever *grins*
Rosalie: *sighs and shakes head* No. Just no.
Emmett: Wanna see my brain? *runs out and comes back with electric saw*
Rosalie: Here we go…
Emmett: Hehe *saw breaks* Oh noez! It borked!
Rosalie: Really. *sarcasm*
Emmett: BRB. *runs out screaming JASPER!*
*Downstairs*
Emmett: Hey, Jazzy, can you like, bite my head open so I can show Rosalie my brain?
Jasper: Uh… why?
Emmett: Because I have to show Rosalie that I'm clever!
Jasper: And this is the way you show it?
Emmett: Jasper, NOTHING can go wrong with this plan. It's foolproof!
Jasper: If you insist! *They go upstairs*
Rosalie: Now what?
Emmett: Jasper's gonna bite my head open.
Rosalie: Wha… why… you… *Incoherent sputters*
Emmett: Baffled by my brilliance.
Jasper: Of course. Now let's do this thang!
*Jasper precedes to bite Emmett's head open as Esme walks in*
Rosalie: Esme, do something!
Esme: What are they doing?
Rosalie: Jasper's biting Emmett's head open!
Esme: IF YOU GET BRAIN ON MY FLOOR, YOU DIEEEEEEE. *Walks out*
Jasper: All done!
Emmett: See? Look at all that gushy smartness! *Pokes brain and giggles madly*
Rosalie: EEEEW! Gross!
Emmett: Wanna poke it?
Rosalie: NO!
Jasper: I DO I DO I DO! *Pokes it and giggles*
Rosalie: Yeeeahh…I'mma gonna gooo now….*backs out the door*
*Emmett and Jasper are too busy poking Emmett's brain to notice*
Emmett: SQUISHY! Hey, where's Rosalie?
Jasper: Who cares?
*They go back to poking Emmett's brain*
A/N: TaaDaa! 23 pages dude, 23 pages. You gotta review, cause I WROTE MOST OF IT. (: