"She is pretty." Endymion threw a sideways glare at Serenity but decided to go along with their "attempting to be normal" conversation.
"Yep." Setsuna was dressed stunningly no doubt due to his large retainer that had been granted her just a few months ago. He honestly wished it could have gone to his brothers and their families but it was decided it should go to his fiancée. He wondered just how much of the monthly retainer had been spent on this extravagant wedding. He realized that more than half the people must have come from out of town because he knew this many people did not live in London, to say that he knew about thirty of the guests would have made him more or less a stranger to the majority of the wedding. Serenity had counted nearly 600 people. Why they needed to hold such a large wedding he had no idea, he was well aware Setsuna did not know even a quarter of the people in attendance.
"They are trying too hard. Both of them are settling and this wedding is to convince everyone that they are not." Endymion nodded, that may have been true but to him they looked damned happy, it took all of Endymion's self control to keep from running over to her and asking her how the hell she could be so happy marrying another man. He wanted to kiss her until she remembered how strong their love had been. He wanted more than anything for this to be their wedding.
They were sitting upon the roof of the church watching the ceremony unfold outside and seeing the large expanse of tables set up by the waterfront for the reception. Endymion was glad that Serenity had come with him although her running commentary was beginning to wear upon his nerves. If only she had gotten married during the day then he would not have to suffer through watching her marry his best friend, though the thought of what he might hear sitting upon the roof made him shudder.
"Oh please, they are releasing doves, now if that is not trying to hard I do not know what is. I mean my wedding was small and simple, we were in love and everyone knew it, I did not have to convince anyone with an over the top wedding." Endymion sighed too much more of Serenity trying to cheer him up with her "this wedding is a sham" commentary and he would bite her. She should know that he just wanted to brood over the affair in solitude, in fact he was pretty sure she did know that.
"Have you ever thought for just one moment that perhaps they do love each other? That I was never really the one for her and that things worked out the way they should? Fate just wants me to be the one brooding in loneliness, and that is what I intend to do." Endymion's face hardened in such a way that it almost frightened Serenity. This was not like him, they gave each other hope and promise for the future, it was their unspoken arrangement, and if he gave up she would have to give up too.
"If they do love each other then how can you say fate hates you? One moment you were sure you were destined to be with Setsuna, and now you are beginning to accept the fact that maybe she was meant for another, how then can you presume to know anything about fate?" Endymion made no move to answer her, he simply watched the couple stare lovingly into each others eyes. It was all too sickeningly perfect, and yet he could not look away. He wanted to feel every bit of the sadness that her pleasure was condemning him to. The thunderous applause that echoed after the couple had been pronounced man and wife only angered him further.
How could they support them? How could they all stand and applause when they knew he loved her? When they knew it was supposed to be him marrying the love of his life. That was his dream, his life and another man was living it, not just any man but Jedite! Endymion turned not wanting to see anymore of their happiness, he refused to watch all of his hopes and dreams be realized for someone else.
"Where are you going Endymion?" Serenity turned to him genuinely surprised to see him leaving. Endymion liked torturing himself, in fact he was marvelous at it, and watching this wedding should have been his magnum opus. She looked at his eyes that for the first time looked truly hopeless. She walked to him and linked her elbow with his. "Come now I know just the thing that will cheer you up, or at least be better than watching that overdone fiasco." Serenity led him around to the other side of the church where she had seen two familiar faces run off to.
Endymion looked around when they reached the edge of the roof and looking down he saw his two older brothers and sister in laws below him. His niece looked so big and it appeared as if Kunzite's wife was swollen with child. They were a melancholy ensemble in the midst of an otherwise happy party. Endymion watched them with avid eyes straining his ears for any sound that passed between them. To his dismay they sat simply in silence, with not even the child saying a word. It seemed as if they were all too deep in their own thoughts to recognize the presence of the others, until finally the young girl said what they refused to.
"I wish Uncle Endymion was here." Nephrite awoke from his thoughts and leaned down to pull his daughter onto his lap. He gently stroked her hair and looked to the wife that sat beside him.
"I wish he was here too Isabelle, but Uncle Endymion is in heaven now and I bet he is laughing at us for being so miserable at a wedding." Nephrite did his best to smile but the young girl was not fooled. Her dark brown hair swiveled as she looked from her mother to her father, her hazel eyes wide with wonder.
"But I thought mother said this was supposed to be Uncle Endymion's wedding. Would not he be sad to not be here?" This time Nephrite looked at all assembled apparently trying to find someone that could explain things better than him. Their anxious glances were of no help to the young father as he tried to comfort his daughter. Instead he simply held her tight against his chest, waiting for the explanation that would not come. Finally he released his daughter and decided to tell her the thoughts that ran through his own mind.
"Isabelle, Endymion may not be here, and while I think he would be upset that he does not get to marry the one he loved, I think he would be glad to know that she will be in good hands. I also know that God is keeping him company up there in heaven and telling him that one day we will all be together again and then he can be truly happy. Until then he will just have to enjoy his angel wings without us." The entire company seemed close to tears as Nephrite finished, indeed even atop the roof Endymion felt himself touched to the very core of his being. At that moment Endymion felt as if he were with God looking down upon them, but as he turned to look at Serenity he thought perhaps she was close enough, at least as close to God as he would ever see.
"I still miss him, but I am glad he has God to keep him company," then changing topics as quickly as only a child can, "so have you decided what you are going to name the baby." Mina smiled beaming as the joys of being a new mother, absentmindedly stroking her swollen stomach.
"Well your uncle Kunzite and I thought we would name him Endymion." Endymion felt himself choking up with emotion at the thought of just how much his family missed him.
"You have an amazing family Endymion, it is good to see them doing so well." Serenity said from beside him, she had laid herself on her stomach, propping her head upon her arms to watch the scene below them. He looked at her as fondly as he always did, and seeing his family and remembering the connection he felt with them, he realized that Serenity had become as much a sister to him as Raye.
"Yeah they are really great; I cannot believe that Kunzite wants to name his son after me. I always thought if he ever had a son he would name it after our father, or himself. He really likes family names."
"How do you know it is a boy?" Isabelle's curious voice interrupted Endymion's whisper and they both looked toward the family once again to find out the answer to Isabelle's question.
"We just have a feeling, Isabelle, we wanted a son to make a tribute to your Uncle, but if it had been a girl then we were going to name her after your Aunt Raye." The little girl nodded softly, she always grew quiet whenever her stranger of an Aunt was mentioned.
"Endymion is a family name." Serenity said quietly as they watched the small family sit in silence for a few moments more. Endymion looked down and realized that the two brothers that he had always felt ostracized from when he was growing up, really cared about him more deeply than he had ever realized. He had thought that Raye was the only one that really cared for him or understood him. Endymion wished that he could have spent more time with his brothers than he had when he was "alive."
"Yes, I suppose it is. Just seems weird I guess, that my brother would name his first born son after me. If only he knew what I have become he would never name his child so." Serenity sighed, she wondered if Endymion's self-loathing would ever fully disappear, for that matter she wondered if her own would ever fully disappear. Yet in her eyes she felt Endymion a much better person than her, after all her only family barely cared for her disappearance, and her constant pleas for Seiya to love and understand what had happened to her, drove him to kill himself. Endymion had a family that missed him and loved him, and his lover was moving forward in her life, even if Endymion could not.
"Daddy can I go get a piece of wedding cake?" Isabelle looked at her father with such wide eyes; Endymion knew the man would not refuse her. He was right when Nephrite gently smiled down upon her and nodded.
"Of course sweetheart, perhaps you should go congratulate Jedite and Setsuna while you are over there." The little girl nodded slowly and dashed off towards the wedding cake. The four adults watched her leave then turned to each other with silent sighs.
"It still does not sit right with me for Jedite to be marrying Setsuna, no matter what you say Nephrite. Endymion loved her so much and for his best friend to go and marry her not two years after his death…and yet I find it hard to be angry with our old friend." Kunzite's voice was frustrated and Endymion was glad to see that not everyone was overjoyed to see the love of his life marrying someone else.
"They both deserve happiness even if Endymion is dead. They have both been hurt the same way it is only natural that they would go to each other, I think it does not sit right with us because we just wish Endymion could be here and not because Jedite is marrying Setsuna." Nephrite's words were soft and slow as if he was trying to convince himself as much as he was trying to convince Kunzite. His wife gave him a sympathetic glance and placed a comforting hand against his shoulder.
Endymion watched her gentle touch with interest, wanting that same connection with a woman, wanting a loving wife whose simple touch could ease his worries and calm his distraught heart. He was completely jealous of his brothers, they had everything, and all their dreams came true while his were left shattered. His older brothers always had everything! Yet as he watched their sad smiles and the warm encouragement they gave to Isabelle upon her return he knew he could not fault them. It was not their fault his life had turned so solemn, they would have done anything in order to have him accomplish his dreams and it was perhaps the greatest curse of his affliction that he caused them so much pain.
"Isabelle seems remarkably smart for her young years." Again Serenity's voice appeared beside him and it seemed so familiar and yet so foreign in relation to his own thoughts. Endymion's gaze followed Isabelle who was eagerly describing all that had happened in her quest for cake with vivid detail. Endymion smiled she did have the gift of stories.
"She has always been that way, the moment she learned how to read she came to me saying she wanted to be a writer, and started that day telling me a story to write down for her. She said she wanted to be just like me when she grew up, and I had not even published a single thing yet." Endymion remembered her admiration of him with a smile. She was always so eager to see him and she was constantly telling him new stories that would never fail to grab his attention and draw him in.
"Well she had a right to admire you, your writing is amazing, and your story about Raye seems to be quite popular already." Endymion nodded he had received a letter from his publisher singing all the praises of his book and it's apparent ability to sell itself. People were already looking forward to Darien's next book, but for the brief moment Endymion was at a lack for ideas. Part of him wanted to write down Serenity's story but felt she would be reluctant of such an endeavor.
"No, she just understood it then. Writers do not write for the fame, or the money. We write because our souls compel us to and our souls compel us to share those stories with the world. If the world likes them our soul is overjoyed and if the world does not, then the soul goes on. But if one were to stop writing then the soul would perish. She may be young but she understands the passions of her heart with more clarity than someone with ten times her years, and that is a remarkable accomplishment."
Serenity nodded knowing that she was nineteen before she truly acknowledged her passion was the sea, and yet she found that her soul still lived even if she had never spent one night being rocked to sleep by the waves. It made her wonder if her true passion was still waiting to be discovered and if that was true then a precocious seven year old had accomplished more in her seven years than Setsuna had in over a century.
"Passions are not always easy things to recognize Serenity. There is something your heart lives for and something you desperately provide it with, even if you do not acknowledge that fact. You may love the sea, you may desire it, but it has never truly been your passion. For if it was you would never let your parents' refusal, your husband's permission or your change into a vampire keep you from your passion. Indeed I feel I may know exactly what your passion is, but I fear it is something you must realize on your own, having someone such as me tell you would only cheapen the unyielding pleasure you get from it." Serenity looked with shock and surprise at Endymion, whose glance had not left that of his family. She wondered how he could say something that so easily read her thoughts and shattered all that she had thought valid without even glancing her way. She was sick of his intuitive thoughts, sick of his misery, and sick of the way he could read everything about her and yet she could never read him so well. Perhaps it was time they parted company.
She got up and began walking away from him, began slowly experiencing the pain that always came from their parting, it would fill her and consume her until she was by his side again. He completed her in such a way that she had never known, yet he felt nothing of the like for her. How was she supposed to stay through that? Which method of suffering was worse? She turned to see that Endymion had yet to even acknowledge her leaving, she knew that once he did he would sigh and get up to follow her. Serenity knew that what compelled him to be by her side was nothing compared to what compelled her and yet somehow it was enough to give her hope, but she had no idea how long that hope would last.
Soon Endymion was by her side again, though only in passing as he made his way to the other side of the roof to see the conclusion of the wedding and watch at his family went to bid their farewells. He wondered why they had even come to the wedding if they had spent the majority of it isolated from the rest of the party. He assumed they felt obligated to, being that Jedite was their friend and once upon a time Setsuna was near enough to their sister.
"Serenity?" Her head turned at his inquisitive call of her name. Her feet took her instantly to his side while her mind still debated the action. She truly wondered how long she would wait for him to come to his senses, even if she had spent nearly a century alone could she spent a century waiting for Endymion to care for her at all? She sat down beside him forcing her own emotions away, and putting on the mask she had become so used to. She looked at him gently urging him to go on.
"Tell me of your wedding, you have already heard how I wished for my dreams to come true, tell me of yours." Serenity nodded slowly hating that he would ask her the one question that would take her mind off her love for him and remind her of the passion she had once felt for Seiya. Her eyes closed and she raised her face to the soft breeze pretending it was the same salt sea air that blew across her cheek as she wore her simple white wedding dress.
"It was small and simple we did not need much. I was so much in love I would have seen any sort of wedding as a fairy tale. I was too blinded by love to see how much my mother hated being on the boat and how much she hated him, she was just glad to be rid of me. I hid from myself the fact that she would never have anything to do with me again after that day, she really only came to the wedding because she was afraid of what people would think if she did not. Seiya was so dashing in his suit and my dress blew gently in the breeze floating behind me just like my hair. I had a tiara of daisies that trailed down and tangled in the rest of my hair but I did not care, to me it was the perfect touch to a perfect gown. We each wrote our own vows, the things he said to me were so sweet and loving, and he looked at me as no one else in the world looked at me. I never thought I would ever love anyone as I loved him. Things change though and as I was walking to Seiya's home that evening after having said my last farewells to my family, mainly my brothers and sisters, Lawrence found me." Endymion cringed his mind remembering the night Lawrence had found him. His arm found its way around her shoulders and somehow it felt right there. He could not place exactly what was so right about it but for once he stopped thinking and simply enjoyed the moment. They watched Isabelle run around with her cake each wondering how long it would be before the little girl dropped it, they watched as Kunzite and Nephrite made forced small talk with Jedite and Setsuna, they watched the world go by until dawn came upon them.