This chapter is my Christmas gift to my readers!
The version of the popular song featured in this chapter was written by Donna!
We also find out why this fic is titled like it is.
"Well, this trip was pretty much a complete waste of our time!" grumbled Jason over the walkie-talkie. "Waste of time, waste of gas, waste of batteries…"
"We get it," said Donna. The reason Jason was so mad was because after we had finished the case with the residence, we had tried to start our investigation of the Bell Witch cave, but the owner had a family emergency that they had to take care of in Kentucky and was unsure of when they could be available again. We had no real choice but to head back home.
"At least we can get last minute Christmas shopping done," I said, trying to brighten the mood.
"Oh yeah, I'm looking forward to that," said Dustin, rolling his eyes. Tango hit his fist against the steering wheel while driving and made a weird noise. We looked at him.
"I forgot to shop for my auntie!" he said. Dustin laughed.
"But David, you can't forget your auntie!" I teased, speaking in a baby voice and pinching his cheek. He glared at me through the rearview mirror.
If looks could kill, I would've been dead.
The next couple of days were spent doing nearby residential cases so that we wouldn't feel completely useless. The TAPS office was almost overrun by colorful gift baskets sent by clients. I was even bombarded by a falling stack of baskets as I was trying to get something from a closet. My stomach hurt at the sight of all the sweets. It was mostly the guys who worked on casework and emptying the baskets of their contents. I kept swiping all of the mint candy from the baskets so much that my mouth felt all icy. We all had so much candy in our systems that I was surprised that Steve could sit still so long while analyzing footage from a bed and breakfast we had gone to.
"Find anything yet?" asked Steve after about half an hour staring at the screens.
"Nope," I said, sucking on my third candy cane of the day. Out of the corner of my eye I saw him glance at me and then abruptly look away. I looked at him but it seemed like he was avoiding eye contact. I wondered vaguely what that was about and then returned to watching the screens, sucking happily on my candy cane. I felt eyes on me and quickly turned my head his way. I saw his eyes snap back to the screen he was supposedly watching. I grinned, took the candy cane from my mouth and licked at the end. Steve put on a deer in the headlights look and gulped nervously. I turned away, shaking with silent laughter. I went back to watching the screens for a bit.
After a while Steve yawned, stretching out his arms. I felt a weight on the back of my chair. I glanced over my shoulder. It was Steve's arm. I blushed and turned my attention back to the screens. There was a tug on my hair. I crossed my right leg over my left, and then kicked him lightly in the leg with my foot. It went on like that for a couple of minutes. Hair tug…kick…hair tug…kick.
"Geez, guys, get a room!" I jumped and then turned around in my seat. I actually had forgotten that Brian was sitting in a rolling chair behind us listening to audio. He was looking very amused. Overly amused, if you ask me. Steve rolled his eyes and removed his arm from the back of my chair. I looked over my shoulder and gave Brian a very Tango-like death glare.
"Hey, everyone!" yelled Andy, coming into the office carrying a basket of candy canes.
"Oooh! Andy has candy!" Donna dropped the end of the string of garland she and I had been hanging up and tried to reach into his basket.
"EH! N-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-NO!" yelled Andy, giving Donna a wide-eyed frown. Donna looked taken aback. Andy's face then changed into a grin so fast that it was really unnerving. "This is for later!"
"Hey, Andy, how's it goin'?" said Grant, stuffing his face with a gingerbread cookie.
"Great! Hey, when are we exchanging Secret Santa gifts?" he said, rubbing his hands together. This made me grin evilly and I began to prance around Andy in a circle.
"Uh-oh! Andy's excited! Wha' you want, puppy? What you want, puppy?! Kibbles 'n Bits! Kibbles 'n Bits!" I teased. This had started a while ago when Andy started acting like a hyperactive puppy before we went to Ledge Light. As I danced around Andy the fourth time, he placed a strategic poke to my side that sent me squealing to the floor. Grant stepped over me to talk to Andy and they both started talking as if nothing unusual had happened.
"Why are you on the floor?" asked Jason, who had just come into the room carrying a gift wrapped box.
"Because…I was trying to hear if anyone was coming!" I said. He raised an eyebrow.
"Did you hear me coming?"
"Pssh, of course I heard you coming!" I said. I realized what I had insinuated and covered my mouth. "Crap!" I got up and ran for the door.
"Yeah, keep on running, Castillo!"
About one hour and four glasses of wine later, we sat around chatting with one another after exchanging our secret Santa gifts. Even though we already had Secret Santa's, we still gave each other gifts just for the heck of it. I think Donna had more to drink than the rest of us because before it was about time to go she began to sing her own version of "the Twelve Days of Christmas," very loudly so that everyone had no choice but to listen.
"On the first day of Christmas, Ghost Hunters gave to me.. On the second day of Christmas, Ghost Hunters gave to me.. On the third day of Christmas, Ghost Hunters gave to me.. On the fourth day of Christmas, Ghost Hunters gave to me.. On the fifth day of Christmas, Ghost Hunters gave to me.. On the sixth day of Christmas, Ghost Hunters gave to me.. On the seventh day of Christmas, Ghost Hunters gave to me... On the eight day of Christmas, Ghost Hunters gave to me... On the ninth day of Christmas, Ghost Hunters gave to me... On the tenth day of Christmas, Ghost Hunters gave to me... On the eleventh day of Christmas, Ghost Hunters gave to me...
A fallen soundman in the armory!
Two Roto plumbers
And a fallen soundman in the armory
Three Divas of Darkness
Two Roto plumbers
And a fallen soundman in the armory
Four dusty orbs
Three Divas of Darkness
Two Roto plumbers
And a fallen soundman in the armory
WHERE IS ANDY???
Four dusty orbs
Three Divas of Darkness
Two Roto plumbers
And a fallen soundman in the armory
Six drained cameras
WHERE IS ANDY???
Four dusty orbs
Three Divas of Darkness
Two Roto plumbers
And a fallen soundman in the armory
Seven EMF spikes
Six drained cameras
WHERE IS ANDY???
Four dusty orbs
Three Divas of Darkness
Two Roto plumbers
And a fallen soundman from the armory
Eight annoying cliff-hangers
Seven EMF spikes
Six drained cameras
WHERE IS ANDY???
Four dusty orbs
Three Divas of Darkness
Two Roto plumbers
And a fallen soundman from the armory
Nine EVP explanations
Eight annoying cliff-hangers
Seven EMF spikes
Six drained cameras
WHERE IS ANDY???
Four dusty orbs
Three Divas of Darkness
Two Roto plumbers
And a fallen soundman from the armory
Ten new Steve phobias
Nine EVP explanations
Eight annoying cliff-hangers
Seven EMF spikes
Six drained cameras
WHERE IS ANDY???
Four dusty orbs
Three Divas of Darkness
Two Roto plumbers
And a fallen soundman from the armory
Eleven "what the fetches?"
Ten new Steve phobias
Nine EVP explanations
Eight annoying cliff-hangers
Seven EMF spikes
Six drained cameras
WHERE IS ANDY???
Four dusty orbs
Three Divas of Darkness
Two Roto plumbers
And a fallen soundman from the armory!
By the last verse, everyone joined in with Donna.
"On the twelfth day of Christmas, Ghost Hunters gave to me...
Twelve last season Re-Runs
Eleven "what the fetches?"
Ten new Steve phobias
Nine EVP explanations
Eight annoying cliff-hangers
Seven EMF spikes
Six drained cameras
WHERE IS ANDY???
Four dusty orbs
Three Divas of Darkness
Two Roto plumbers
And a fallen soundman from the armory!"
There were cheers and applause after the song was done. Donna bowed and nearly fell over.
"We should do this kind of thing more often!" said Dustin. Tango and I were already cleaning up the mess we made.
"Okay," I said. "I bought five mistletoes to put in every room and one is missing!"
"Where was it?" asked Grant.
"…Inside the bathroom." Grant stared.
"Why did you put it there?!"
"I ran out of spots to put it!"
"Felina…you're probably the most unconventional member of TAPS."
"That's why you love me."
After we had all cleaned up, everyone was going their own separate ways. I gathered up all my gifts in a bag and started piling on layers to venture out into the cold and head home. Steve came around the corner and seemed surprised to see me.
"I thought everyone had left already," he said. I began trying to fit my coat over my jacket.
"Nope, still here!" I said. "Ugh, I've got a long drive. But I got to go home somehow."
"But baby, it's cold outside!" Steve half sang. I laughed.
"Steve, you're a dork." He laughed too for a while until we both stopped.
Awkward silence. I wound a scarf around my neck and put on a knitted cap.
"Well, I'd better get going," I said, and opened the back door to the parking lot. "Oh, it's snowing!"
"Snowing in Rhode Island. Who knew?" Steve teased. I smiled and then gave him a hug.
"Merry Christmas, Steve! Seeya around!" I was ready to run out to my car, but Steve had my arm in his grip. I turned and looked at him curiously. I couldn't read his expression.
"Look up." I did and saw that a sprig of mistletoe was squished in the top of the doorframe. My breathing stopped. He released my arm and gently cupped my chin in his hand. I looked into his eyes. Gosh, I never knew brown eyes could be so beautiful. And they were getting closer. My eyelids fluttered shut and I felt warm lips against mine. His other arm snaked around my waist and pulled me closer. I slid my hands over his shoulders as he deepened the kiss and ran my fingers through his hair, which was thankfully free of the TAPS hat. A cold gust of wind blew into us and I accidentally bit Steve's lip a little in shock of the cold. Apparently, it didn't bother him because he did the same to me afterwards. We finally parted and I kissed Steve on the cheek.
"I'll walk you to your car," he said, and picked up my bag of gifts. I unlocked my car and he put it in the back seat. I stood with the driver's side door open and he came to stand in front of me, trapping me between him and my car. Snow was falling all around us. "If I'm ever in Cranston over the next few days, I'll look you up."
"Alright," I said, smiling. "If I'm ever up in Massachusetts, I'll look you up." We leaned in and kissed once more and then he held the door as I got into my car. He closed the door and patted the window. I blew him a kiss before driving away.
There was a beep on my cell phone that meant there was a text message. I fished it out of my pocket and flipped it open. I frowned. The text had been sent an hour ago.
Did you ever find that lost mistletoe?
--Brian
Hah! Very tricky, Harnois!
And yet, I couldn't stop smiling.