Callie insisted that a week wasn't a long enough recovery time, but it felt like six days too long to Arizona (maybe just three days too long if she was being honest with herself), and she stubbornly took her seat behind the wheel to drive them to work seven days after her surgery. Thankfully her staff didn't make a big deal out of her return, Alex handing over a chart without a second glance as she joined him at the nurses' station.

"Thank you, Karev."

"Hey, I've got forty cases and most of these residents are idiots," he reasoned, though he was giving her a smirking grin. "Glad you're back, boss," he added with a wink as he took his load of charts and went on his way.

Reading over the chart for her new patient was a refreshing return to the normalcy of her life. She was still a wife, still a mother, still a surgeon. All of her silent mental reassurances went out the window when she actually met her patient though, looking up from the chart to greet Nolan Altman.

His dark curls were reminiscent of Sofia's, his skin tone buttery and warm. But it was his eyes that felt like a punch to her chest. His startling blue eyes knocked the breath from her lungs. This could have been their son – her son, with her wife. And the loss, the grief, just came rushing back. Of course she hadn't been expecting to put it behind her, move on, in only a week, but the fresh grief threatened to knock her off her feet.

She was Arizona Robbins, damn it. And Arizona Robbins didn't cry in front of patients and their parents. So she took a shaky breath and closed the chart. "Hello, I'm Dr. Robbins."

"Hey, I'm Nolan," the little boy greeted her, sticking out a hand precociously to shake. It reminded her of Sofia (and how good of a big sister would her little girl be?) but she tamped it down, shaking his hand and smiling.

"Well, I'm glad to meet you, Nolan. Why don't you tell me what hurts?"

"Here." His hand touched his chest and trailed down his belly.

Arizona nodded, keeping her attention on him. It was one of the things that made her such an excellent kid doctor, she related to the patient more than to the parents. "Okay, well, will you let me take a look?" She lifted one hand to show him her empty fingers. He hauled his hospital gown up with both hands, moaning when she touched his stomach. "Okay, I'm sorry, buddy, but I have to to figure out what's wrong so I can fix it." She carefully tucked his gown back down and straightened up. "Has he been complaining of pain?"

"Yes, and he said there's been blood in the toilet when he uses the restroom," Mrs. Altman said, her hands wringing anxiously.

Arizona mustered a reassuring smile for the worried parents. "Well, I want to do an ultrasound to be sure, but it sounds like kidney stones. Painful, but not too serious."

"Is that, you mean surgery? He needs surgery?"

"It's possible, but there are a few things we can try before it comes to that," Arizona reassured them, the smile still locked on her lips. "And I might want to monitor him for a few days, just to make sure everything's alright, but I promise you, he's in good hands."

While they waited for the ultrasound and the Altman parents filled out the admittance paperwork Arizona played a few games of tic-tac-toe against her patient, some masochistic voice in her brain pointing out his little personality's commonality with her own daughter's, what she'd hoped their next child would grow up into, what she'd been looking forward to seeing them become, her children together, their family together.

She made it through the ultrasound, but found herself completely unable to contemplate going back into Nolan's room afterward. She just wasn't that masochistic, no matter how much she felt like she was spiraling.

Instead she found herself at the door to Nick's room, her old friend perking up noticeably as he caught sight of her. "Hey! How're you feeling? I haven't seen you in a few. Is it your first day back or what?" Nervous, his questions came quickly, stumbling over each other.

Arizona moved into his room with a shrug, her arms curled around herself. "I had a break between cases," she said instead of answering him. "You care if I sit for a few minutes?"

Shaking his head, Nick's brow furrowed as Arizona took a seat beside his bed. She didn't speak though, wasn't even really looking at him, watching her hands fidget with the edges of her lab coat in her lap. He only let the silence linger for two minutes, clearing his throat when Arizona didn't say anything. "Okay, Phoenix, I know I haven't been around in a while, but I do know you, you know? What's wrong?"

The blue eyes that found his gaze were conflicted, upset but guarded. Arizona Robbins didn't let just anyone in. And maybe he had been one of the people she'd shared with, but that had been a long time ago. "I'm not who you knew," she told him, her voice low and sad.

Nick shrugged his shoulders, studying her. "Maybe, maybe not. But you were awesome when I knew you, and that hasn't changed." The statement got no response from Arizona and he sighed. "I think you might be more awesome, even." Still no reaction but slow blinking. "The Arizona I knew was incredible, don't get me wrong, but you now – the way people here talk about you, it's like you walk on water. And the way your kid raves about you, she wants to be just like her mama. The fact that you even have a kid, Sedona!" That won him a shadow of a smile but Arizona's gaze fell to her lap again. "And she's a great kid," he continued quickly, hoping to keep the smile growing. "She's smart and funny and knows exactly what she wants." He grinned hopefully when Arizona laughed. "And she's as beautiful as both of her mothers," Nick added, winking when she glanced at him. "She's a great kid," he repeated himself.

"I know," Arizona murmured.

Nick cleared his throat again. "I know it doesn't feel like it, because of the cancer and all, but you're lucky. We're lucky." The smile faded in an instant. "And Callie saved my life, so I'm lucky. But you're married to her, Flagstaff. Have you actually seen the way she looks at you?" he asked, Arizona's head rising again. "Because I have." She didn't speak but Arizona's bottom lip dropped just slightly as she sucked in a breath. "You walk in a room and you're the only person she sees." He breathed deep, smiling as she did the same. "You're a damn lucky woman, Arizona. No matter what else happened that you're not telling me. You're going to live. And you have an amazing pair of ladies to do it with."

"Nick..." Another deep breath from Arizona. "I really missed you."

"I missed you too." His smile was familiar, warm. "You did alright for yourself while I was gone. You have a great family." Arizona smiled to herself, the expression private and tinged with her own sorrow over her family's loss. "And speak of the devil," Nick said, his eyes jumping from her to his door. "Hey Callie."

"Hey," she answered, surprised to see her wife. She'd expected Arizona would dive right back into a full caseload today. "Hey, you," she greeted her partner, both hands on the seated woman's shoulders as she leaned in over the back of her chair to drop a kiss on a fair cheek. She was burning to ask how the day was going, how Arizona was feeling, if she had pushed too hard coming back today. But she kept her mouth shut. She was secretly relieved when Arizona lifted a hand to cover the one she had on the blonde's shoulder.

"Arizona was nice enough to stop by between her cases," Nick said, giving them both a smile. "You checking up on me, doc?"

Callie nodded, releasing Arizona's shoulder reluctantly to check on Nick's chart. He grimaced when his surgeon waved for him to sit forward so she could check his incisions. Everything was healing well (not that she had expected anything less from herself), but it was still a relief to give her patient a reassuring nod and comforting smile. "Looking good, Nick." Arizona cleared her throat behind her and Callie rolled her eyes at the man in the bed since Arizona couldn't see it. "Not what I meant."

Nick leaned around Callie to roll his eyes where she could see it. "Thank you, Dr. Torres." A beep from Callie's lab coat pocket got the Ortho surgeon's attention, her back going stiff as she read the display. "What's up?" Nick asked curiously, seeing her reaction to whatever was on her screen.

"Um, I, uh, I've actually got to go, I guess..."

Arizona frowned, not used to hearing Callie stammer and stutter like that. "Hey," she said, standing up to catch her wife's arms as she turned to face her. "Take a breath," coaxed Arizona. "What's going on?"

"I, uh..." Suddenly so nervous that she couldn't even tell her Callie just lifted her pager in front of Arizona's eyes.

She read it with a frown still furrowing her brows. "Is that your research lab?"

"Yeah, I think it's the FDA. The Chief said..."

Understanding suddenly why her partner was so nervous, Arizona rose on her toes to peck a kiss to full lips. "Just breathe and be awesome. That's all you have to do. Your trial is amazing. You are a genius. You're going to help so many people. They're going to see that," Arizona whispered to her, thumbs rubbing soft circles into the tops of Callie's arms. "All you have to do is talk," she said when brown eyes met hers. "You are great," she promised seriously.

Callie's lip twisted, her expression almost pouty, and Arizona had to kiss her again quickly. "Can we go to lunch after?"

"Of course." Arizona gave her an encouraging smile. "I wouldn't miss it. Now you go be great and you can tell me all about it at lunch."

"Okay," Callie agreed, nodding nervously. "I'll see you later."

"Later," confirmed Arizona, her own smile deliberately calm. "Love you."

"Love you too." Callie glanced over her shoulder at Nick, waving. "Bye Nick."

Left alone with her friend again as her wife rushed out Arizona sank slowly back into her seat. "My girl's a genius," she stated, the expression on her face almost daring him to object.

He lifted both hands in supplication and nodded. "Oh, believe me, I know."

"I was going to have her baby," Arizona said, her gaze dropping when Nick's eyes widened. She didn't want to see the pity come into his eyes the way it was in everyone else's when they looked at her. She hadn't been able to keep Tim's gaze in a week. It sucked. "Her little genius baby."

"Hey," Nick interrupted her, his voice hoarse. "Callie's awesome, but it's the two of you together making the genius babies, Robbins." He paused, cleared his throat. "Can I say that I'm sorry?"

"Don't," she whispered, shaking her head.

"Okay," he agreed softly. "It sucks. Hard. But I'm still right, what I said earlier. You are still awesome. And Callie is nuts about you. And your daughter is going to grow up to be just like her parents and probably be president, or an astronaut, or something." Arizona looked up from her lap and their eyes locked. "You have an incredible family, Arizona. If anyone can get through this, it's you guys." He offered one hand, holding it out to her. Arizona pushed herself to her feet and took his hand. Nick promptly used the grip to pull her into a hug. His arms were steady and he didn't release her until she hugged him back.

Arizona was avoiding his eyes again when she stepped back, brushing both hands down her thighs. "Thanks, Nick." She was hoarse, her emotions rampant and nearly out of her control. She had to leave this room, get alone and get herself back to normal. Or as close as she could manage today. "I'm gonna..."

"I know," he said, understanding. "I'll be here if you need me."

Callie was thoroughly engrossed with the gaining momentum of her clinical trial at lunch (pouring herself into her work her own coping mechanism), talking endlessly and giving Arizona a much needed distraction from her thoughts. The rest of her cases for the day only gave her a mild urge to cry, a prickling behind her eyes that was easy to push down. Nolan's test results (though not serious) made the emotion she was struggling with harder to ignore, but he was sleeping when she forced herself to go back and check on him and she went through their various options with his parents, promising to come back and look in on him in the morning.

Sofia was happy to tell them all about her day at preschool, keeping her mother's mind occupied through dinner. She was free to stew after supper though, Sofia safely in bed and a generic police show or something about firemen playing on the television. She wasn't watching it, just leaning her head against Callie's shoulder and blinking unseeing eyes at the screen.

"Hey, if you're not into this, we can watch something else..."

The quiet offer surprised Arizona but it took her a moment to respond. "Huh? What'd you say?"

Callie frowned to herself. "Are you okay? How did work go today?"

"It was fine," Arizona answered. "And the show's fine. I'm fine," she said, letting her mind drift again. Nolan Altman had triggered something in her brain and she couldn't seem to stop thinking about it. Not specifically about him, because he was her patient, and someone else's son, but he had started her imagination going on the life they'd never get to see lived now. And she'd so wanted to welcome another life into their family.

"What's wrong?" Callie asked, drawing her back from her wistful wondering again. She could only see the top of her wife's head but she just knew something was going on. Arizona wasn't fine, no matter what she said. "You know you can talk to me."

"I'm not sure I can do it anymore," whispered Arizona without lifting her head. Her fingers unconsciously fidgeted with the hem of Callie's top and she could feel the other woman go completely still beside her.

Callie wasn't sure what that meant exactly, but she didn't let herself overreact. She let a quiet moment pass before she asked, "Do what, Arizona? What happened today?"

"Nothing really," Arizona answered, sighing heavily. "I just – I had this patient... He could have been ours, Calliope. He looked like... us."

Realizing where Arizona's reaction was coming from, Callie closed her eyes, relaxing and holding her closer. "Is he okay?"

"That's the thing – he's sick, but it's not even that serious. He's going to be fine, but I've still been... obsessing all day."

"Because he looked like us..."

"Because he looked like I imagined our son was going to look," Arizona clarified. "And this kid's going to be fine, but what if he wasn't? Now his face is in my head, and I'm scared I can't do my job without seeing it on all the kids I can't help." Like she'd been unable to help their son.

It went unsaid but Callie could fill in the blanks and it broke her heart. Arizona didn't doubt herself like this. Arizona knew how awesome she was. And she would remember, in time, but for now whatever her wife needed from her she would get.

"Would you love me if I wasn't a surgeon?"

Callie sighed, pressing her lips to blonde waves. She would love Arizona Robbins under any circumstances – no matter what. And that, like her own awesomeness, was something Arizona already knew. She would remind her infinitely though. Until Arizona could remember it for herself. "I will love you every day for the rest of our lives, even if you never touch another scalpel," she promised. "Maybe you could take some more time off? We can talk to the Chief..."

"I'm not saying I'm going to quit..." She'd worked her entire life to be a surgeon, that wasn't something to just throw away. And she saved children. That was a good way to spend a life.

"I'm not saying you have to keep going," Callie countered gently. If Arizona wanted a change, she would only have her support. "If you want to be a plumber, I'm proud to be married to a plumber." It won her a laugh and Callie smiled against soft, fair hair.

"I don't want more time off," Arizona decided. "But I don't know how to deal with patients feeling like this. Not seeing his face everywhere like I was today."

Nodding, Callie kissed her hair again. "So what do you want to do? More time in the lab, maybe?" Whatever Arizona decided, she would have her back.

"I don't know," Arizona repeated herself, sighing. "I won't do anything crazy until I figure it out, don't worry."

"I'm not worried," said Callie in the same soft tone. "And if you need any help figuring it out..."

Arizona picked her head up, smiling shallowly and pecking a kiss to her wife's lips. "I know," she promised. "I think I'm going to head upstairs."

Nodding, Callie let her slip free of her arms. "Okay. I'll be up soon." She let Arizona round the couch. "Love you."

"I love you too," Arizona echoed, her steps slow on the stairs. This was grief, depression, she knew that. But she was Arizona Robbins. She didn't do depression. That wouldn't stop it though. And she knew Callie would be at her side, holding her steady no matter what. Instead of continuing to the end of the hall and her bedroom she opened the second door and peeked in on Sofia, smiling to herself as she pulled the blankets back up over her little sprawling sleeper. Sofia was her light, no matter what was happening in her life. And with her strength and her light, she'd get through this.

That determination didn't stop her from catching Alex the next morning though. "Take this case and I'll take one of yours," she proposed with no preface, wheeling up beside him at the nurses' station.

He glanced at the paperwork and shook his head. "That's not even surgical," he denied. "I'm not trading cutting for not cutting."

One blonde eyebrow went up. "I don't think you're understanding me, Karev," Arizona said coolly. "This is your case now. I can't be on it." Without waiting for his argument, Arizona smacked the chart down onto the top of his stack and gestured for the nurse at the desk to hand her a chart. "You better get over there, he'll need to be monitored this morning," she said as she kicked off down the hall in the other direction, leaving Alex confused and frowning in her wake.

"Your wife has gone bonkers," he told Callie when they encountered each other in the supply room, the Ortho surgeon searching for parts for an upcoming surgery.

"Yeah, but she's cute," Callie agreed easily, the smirking smile fading when she noticed his earnest concern. They both denied it, but Alex and Arizona cared a lot about each other. "What's going on?"

"She stole my case and put me on some kid that's not even surgical. He'll be fine and discharged in a day! And she wouldn't tell me why or anything, just stole my chart!" He leaned against the rack she was searching, his hands in the pockets of his coat. "Is she okay, Torres?"

Callie sighed, not sure how to answer him. "She's still... coping with losing the baby. Give her one?" she requested. "Give her a few?"

Understanding, Alex nodded, arms crossing his chest. "I'll watch out for her."

"Thank you, Alex."

And in spite of handing the case over to him, Alex was unsurprised to find Arizona lingering outside his patient's room. "Hey, boss." He was careful not to sound anything but normal. "I was just going in to talk to the parents if you want to step in with me."

She took another long look through the window and shook her head, her shoulders tight and tense under her lab coat. "No, I'm gonna go." Catching Alex's eye, she forced a smile. She could tell when he was being even slightly protective of her. Or overprotective, as she saw it. And there was no doubt in her mind that her wife was somehow involved too. That she minded less. Callie was going through the same thing she was and Arizona reserved the right to be protective herself so she couldn't blame her. "If you see my wife, tell her I'll be in the lab."

And she did spend some time in the lab, looking over Callie's clinical trial papers idly (she was unbelievably proud of her wife – the genius), but that wasn't where she was when Callie found her. Instead, she was standing outside the hospital daycare, watching Sofia and Zola chase Bailey's son Tuck.

Callie wanted to ask if she should be worried about her partner ditching surgery (Arizona hadn't been in the OR all day, she'd checked) for the lab and this, baby watching, but she had to trust that if things got more serious, Arizona would talk to her. So she simply slipped an arm around her wife's waist. "Hey gorgeous. You ready to go home?"

Arizona nodded easily, leaning into the kiss Callie planted on her cheek. One hand pulled the daycare's door open. "Sofia, sweetie, let's move out," she called, nodding to the nurse at the wall. "March," she repeated herself when the little girl pouted and sent them a familiar pleading look.

"I love when you go military," Callie sighed, grinning when the comment got her a look from her wife. "It's hot," she said unselfconsciously, her shoulders shrugging.

"You'll see Zola and Tuck again tomorrow," Arizona reminded her daughter. "It's time to go home."

The little trio exchanged their goodbyes and Sofia joined her parents, handing her bag off to Callie and taking the lead out the door, leaving her mothers to follow her. They could only laugh as she continued to swap familiar greetings and high fives with half the hospital staff on their way out. Sofia was wonderful, perfect. And Arizona had desperately wanted more of that wonder, of her love for Callie, Callie's love for her, running around in the world as a literally perfect tiny human. But he'd slipped away before they'd gotten him. Her stomach clenched at the reminder.

"Moms, can we have breakfast for supper?"

Sofia's question snapped her out of her morose thoughts and she smiled, not faking it for the first time that day. "That sounds awesome." At her side Callie smiled to herself and laced their fingers.