Notes: It's the last but one chapter of Nolo's Diary. Sorry you had to wait for so long
Eight Day of First Age - Lammoth
Three times the new object, Anar, passed above our heads before we left the ice and stood on the solid ground. It was like a dream to stand between hills and forests, listen to birds' songs. Now I know that this land wasn't as bautiful as we thought at the moment we saw it the first time, and that it was not as full of plants and animals. Yet at first it was more colorful and full of life than Pastures of Yavanna to us.
Now we are camping behind a valley between two hills, beside a river flowing from thr mountains ahead of us. It is full of fish, so we have both water and food. It is odd for us to have so many plants around us and all the sounds of the nature surprise us, for during the years of the journey we were walking through a silent wasteland. I am sure soon we will adjust to the fauna and flora.
About the noises. At first, when we came to this land, we noticed a sound unknown by any of us. It still rings between the hills and mountains, like an ecko of a horrible scream of fear and pain. Some say it is just wind, but I doubt wind could create such a painful and terrified noise. Also I know that voice - it is the voice of Morgoth. And I feel glad that I had to hear that he felt such terror. I pray Feanaro and his host caused it. Even if we are pleased to know he made this noise we will not stay here to listen to it - we will soon cross the mountains. Afte, r Helcaraxë crossing the mountains sounds like not a big deal.
~dawn of the next day.
The page is covered with dark brown smudges, in many place words are hard to read, ink is blurred here and there as if there were drops of water falling on the page~
Valar, it is so hard! Oh, my beloved Anairë, please, forgive me! Arakáno, my young, reckless son, may your journey will be short.
It started around midnight, when Rana was behind clouds. First we heard a horn in a distance, then drums, nearing. Sentries ran to the camp from their posts, telling that a mass of beasts was going our way. We were surprised, but I suspected that those beasts were servants of Morgoth, those responsible for deaths of so many of the Sindar. I called my family and we quickly decided we could fight them back and keep our position. We were rested and our camp was beside a river - we could always retreat through the water.
I must write it down, I know, but it is so hard! I'd rather focus on something else, on decribing the battle in details, even if it was one of the most horrible things I've ever seen. Yet I cannot. I must do this - the logical part of me is aware it'd help me. Yet it doesn't make it any bit easier.
Arakáno is gone. Arakáno, my young, reckless son is no longer at my side. He is no more among the living elves. He fell during the battle. I lost many of my friends an my daughter-in-law, but...
Somehow, I was thinking that crossing the Ice would be the hardest, the most dangerous part of our way to Beleriand. We lost many of our peple tonight - a painful lesson never to think you are safe.
My son was so young and excited to see Middle-Earth. Now he would not see it - at least not before leaving Mandos. I'm trying to find some relief in the thought that he would be reborn one day. I do hope we will meet again and I will be able to hold him in my arms again, tell him about this land he wanted to see so badly that he risked and lost so much...
The battle is now over and we took care for our fallen ones, treated our wounded friends. The camp is silent, everyone mourning in silence, here and there people singing quietly laments. Tomorrow we will leave this Valar-forsaken place, try to find the group following Feanaro. We need to look forward and remain focused on our goals and things around us - little victories and failures cannot take our attention away from the present. We will meet our fallen friends and family again. The pain in our hearts will fade after some time and we should not let our grief keep us away from moving forward - our beloved ones wouldn't desire to hold us back. I am sure about that.
Arakáno, my reckless son, my brave son. You chaallenged the leader of the army of beasts and brought the hideous being to its knees, yet the price for that was your life. Your brave deed was enough to break the spirit of the foe and caused many of the beasts to flee in the woods. You saved so many of us... And yet I regret this, I regret that I couldn't be there to guard you, to help you.