But I'm A–!

The Huntzbergers have a different reason not to want Logan and Rory together.

PS: 'But I'm a Gilmore!' redone.

Notes:

"Words" – regular conversation

'Words' – quotes and such, thoughts too


Scenario 10 – Such a Lovely Smile

Logan has not so pleasant news.


Shira didn't know what was wrong with her son, she really didn't. Sure, Logan could be such a difficult boy, so flippant and uncaring and undecided and flighty, but he was her child. It didn't mean she understood him at all times, like was usually the case with Honor, but she could tell when something was bothering him, and something was crawling under his skin, she was sure.

Maybe it was his new girlfriend, sweet, polite and pretty as she was. From a nice family, if not as prominent as the Huntzbergers, attending Yale (with grades Shira could only wish Logan could ever come close to). Rory Gilmore was a lovely girl, and she matched Logan just fine, though she was a career girl, and that would not do for a Huntzberger wife. Oh well, they weren't getting engaged like Honor and Josh (and wasn't that not at all a shock, though it was amusing to see the two fidgeting in anticipation).

Then Logan opened his big mouth and Shira just knew it. Damnit, Logan.

"I have something I need to tell everything" – he said hastily, and turned to a confused Rory with pleading eyes. Man, those eyes. When Logan was a boy, Shira had always melted at the way they bore into her – "I'm so sorry, Ace, but I just found out, you know, the call I got just before we came in?" – the girl frowned and nodded.

"Logan?" – Honor asked, laughing nervously and looking at him pointedly – "What news?" – her voice broke at the end and she tensely glanced at Josh. Her brother took the mother of all deep breaths and faced his family.

"A girl I was kind of seeing is pregnant" – he blurted out.

God. Damnit. Logan.

"Excuse me?" – Rory chocked out, and poor girl, Shira felt for her.

"I'm sorry, Ace, it was before we even got together, she's like four months pregnant, I think that's what she said, and she wasn't even going to tell me, she was going to pass it off like her ex's but that backfired" – he babbled. Oh boy, a babbling Logan was never fun to deal with. That was one of the reasons Shira sent him away to boarding school so young, he always followed her around, babbling away, and it got to her.

"Oh my God" – Rory whispered, looking sick.

"Who even is this girl?" – Eli finally asked, looking like he was gearing up to throw his glass at Logan's head (Shira hoped he didn't, the crystal set was lovely and shockingly complete even after many generations of hot blooded Huntzbergers) (also, Eli had a frighteningly good arm, he'd kill Logan).

"Er, her name's Lindsay..." – the boy trailed off and looked up in remembrance – "Forrester" – Rory gasped.

"No"

"What?"

"Lindsay Forrester? Where is she from?"

"I don't know, I met her in Hartford"

"Is she..." – Rory gulped – "Is she blond, very pretty?"

"Yes... Do you... You know her?" – things just got better and better. Shira drank some more.

"I think so, if it's the same Lindsay I know" – Rory said numbly.

"Oh. I'm sorry, Ace, really"

"Well, when are we to meet the little hussy?" – Eli questioned, holding his glass so tight Shira already thought of her perfect crystal set with one less item.

"What?"

"If she is carrying your child, and of course we'll need a DNA confirmation, dumb boy, then we have to meet her" – he turned to Shira – "And you get to planning their wedding immediately" – Rory gasped and Logan frowned deeply.

"Grandpa, we're not getting married"

"And you're giving me a bastard great–grandchild? You have another thing coming, you stupid child!" – he turned to Rory – "Excuse me, miss Gilmore, but sadly your little relationship with my dumbass grandson cannot be allowed to continue, he is to be a father and thus a husband, come hell or high water"

"... I'm too young to be an aunty" – Honor mumbled, and wow. Shira was way too young to be a grandmother! God damnit, Logan.

"I'm not marrying Lindsay!" – Logan exclaimed.

"YES YOU ARE!"

"NO I'M NOT!"

Great. Huntzberger men going at it. Shira needed to freshen up her drink, she could not cope with this shit sober.

Shira watched as grandfather and grandson yelled at each other, the volume getting higher and higher. Honor and Josh eventually escaped to the bar with her, and she handed them drinks as they watched in morbid interest. Unfortunately, Rory was sitting right in the line of fire and had no way to make a clean escape. Poor girl. She looked terrified (and Shira knew it was never fun to be in between angry Huntzbergers).

"What the hell is going on here?!" – Mitchum bellowed, rushing into the living room. His son and father stopped yelling and turned to him.

"Your moronic son impregnated some girl and is refusing to marry her!" – Eli almost poked Logan's eye out when he thrust a finger in his face. Shira thought her son looked a moment away from slapping the hand away.

"I am not marrying her just because she's pregnant with my baby!"

"God damnit, Logan" – Mitchum groaned, and well. People might not understand what he'd seen in her, but Shira knew.

"What!"

"Your grandfather is right. You get a girl pregnant, you marry her. It's the least you can do to make up for giving her stretch marks" – at least Shira taught him that much.

"Aw, c'mon, dad, no. I don't even like Lindsay that much"

"Okay" – Rory said, getting up and looking furious and annoyed and just done – "Logan, I am going to make things a little easier for you. We're done"

"What? Ace..." – she put a hand up.

"Spare me. Whether you marry Lindsay or not, it's on you, but I don't want to be in the middle of this. Trust me, my mom was in a similar situation years ago and it wasn't pretty, and I'm guessing this is going to be much worse, and I definitely don't want to get into this whole thing with Lindsay of all people"

"What?"

"Yeah, I don't think the details are that necessary considering we're not together anymore, but I'm sure she would be more than happy to tell you all about it. Anyway" – she turned to the rest of the family and smiled politely, and Shira admired the way it seemed sincere even though it was so obviously fake – "It was great to meet you all, I'm sorry we probably will never meet again" – she turned back to Logan – "It was good while it lasted, let's be friends" – her tone was light and boy. Shira was dead wrong, she would've made a great Huntzberger wife.

"Ace, no, please"

"Sorry, Logan, but nope. Now, do you think I can call a cab and wait for it here?" – she asked the room.

"Oh, darling" – Shira started – "We'll get our driver to take you wherever you need to go, don't waste money on a cab"

"Thank you, Mrs. Huntzberger"

"Please, call me Shira" – it was such a shame. Now that Shira could see that Rory wasn't all politeness and sparkle, she thought she would like the girl very much if she came into the family. Oh well. She hoped this Lindsay girl was a little bit like Rory.

"Shira. Of course. Thank you for the hospitality, and I guess I will accept your offer"

"Ace..." – Logan tried again when she made to step around him.

"I'll call the driver for you" – Mitchum stated, giving his son a heavy look.

"Thank you, sir" – Rory slipped past Logan with ease and didn't look back as she followed Mitchum out the house. Everyone remained in tense silence.

"You are such a dumbass, Logan" – Honor said, breaking the quiet and taking a large sip of her vodka on the rocks – "By the way, Josh and I are engaged and don't you dare get married before me" – she threatened her brother, and Shira snorted into her drink when the boy shrunk at her glare.

"I suppose I'll get to planning two weddings, then" – Shira stated with a majestic flip of her perfectly coifed blond locks.

She cackled to herself, wondering how badly Honor would flip her shit if she pushed for a double wedding. It would be the most entertaining thing ever, if nothing else, so Shira made wild plans in her head on how to do it.

Naturally, she would have to make sure Rory came to both celebrations so she could introduce her to some nice young men. Maybe her distant nephew through one of Mitchum's cousins, Tristan, would do nicely for her.


I've gotten two anonymous reviews about how incest is not funny. No, real life incest that result in children, and forced incest are not fun. None of my stories involve those kind of incest.

That said, the previous story and the next one do not involve incest. If you're seeing incest between Rory and Logan because of Christopher and Shira, please don't call incest. It's not, in the previous one Logan says states it clearly. Step siblings are not incestuous (at least in this case, seeing as they are grown and weren't raised as siblings).

So. I'm gonna be curt on this. Fuck off.

This all aside, I wanna take a moment to thank everyone who's written reviews, whether logged in or anonymously, and everyone who have favorited and followed this.