"Tomoe, how much farther?" Kikyo asked in a somewhat frustrated tone. It was their millionth break that day!
"Chill out, Runt. It's not like we can move much faster than this anyway." Kikyo could practically taste the distain Tomoe had to be feeling towards her at the moment. She didn't say it aloud much, but it was all Kikyo's fault that it was taking them this long to get to this 'Outside' place. Two whole weeks of traveling at snail's pace, having to take constant breaks so Kikyo could catch her breath or build up enough strength to get moving again, and it still felt like they weren't getting anywhere at all!
It was just so frustrating!
Kikyo wanted to come along so maybe she could get stronger, but all this was doing was making her feel even more like a stupid, weak little kid! "Oi, we're getting close so don't get your kunai all in a knot," Tomoe said suddenly.
"How do you knot kunai?" Kikyo asked a little snarkily.
"Very carefully." Tomoe held up a finger.
"You're stupid."
"I'm not the one who doesn't know how to knot kunai!"
"You can't knot kunai! That's a bad pun! Lame-ass."
"What did you say, Runt?!" A tick mark appeared.
"Lame. Ass. Want me to spell—" A fight ensued.
…And lasted about point ten seconds before Kikyo was on the ground, writhing in pain.
"Tomoe… you… fucking bitch!" Kikyo spat venom as she gripped the shoulder Tomoe hit. Forget the fucking bloody nose, that was going to have her spasming for at least a few hours! "I'll… get you… for that…!" Kikyo gasped out over the pain.
"I'm sure you will." Tomoe smirked and patted the top of her head.
She better damn well be sleeping with one eye open.
"Tomoe?" Kikyo asked later on after they were able to continue with their journey. "What's the Outside like? How do we know when we get there?"
"Bitch please, I am a jonin, I'll know."
"But how will I know?" How could Tomoe think that Kikyo could just go into this completely blind? "I haven't been trained for field work yet."
"If you can't fucking figure it out then maybe you're not fit to be a shinobi," Tomoe snarked.
"How the fuck do I know what to even fucking look for?!"
"It'll be something out of the ordinary, something that's not natural."
"You're not natural, does that mean you're from the Outside?"
"No, it means I am a fucking beast."
"You mean a fucking bitch," Kikyo mumbled.
"Damn straight I am." Tomoe held her head high.
Kikyo rolled her eyes, glad that she could do at least one normal thing without hurting.
Suddenly, Kikyo felt something in the air. She wasn't sure how to describe it, but it just felt wrong. Like-like she was being warned about something really bad. The sky rapidly turned dark and the wind swirled in all directions, almost knocking the small nine year old onto her ass. Lightning flashed across the sky, colliding with other strikes of lighting to make an explosion of white hot energy. Another enormous gust of wind passed through and Kikyo felt her feet leave the ground.
"Shit-shit-shit motherfucking shit!" Tomoe grabbed and pulled her back down to the ground. "You seriously need to put on some weight, Runt!"
"Tomoe! What's happening?!" Kikyo shouted over the wind. "How are we going to get out?!"
"We're not," she stated calmly.
"We have to!" Every clash of lightning, every blast of wind, it all just felt wrong and unnatural! This storm was bad news and Kikyo wanted nothing to do with it!
"We're going through it."
… Well, Tomoe just lost her fucking mind. Seriously, Kikyo was pretty sure this land hurricane or whatever the fuck it was isn't even supposed to ex—son of a bitch! Kikyo ground her teeth and covered her ears to keep a clap of thunder from destroying her ear drums. "How?!"
"We keep going straight!"
"I can't!"
"Don't be a fucking pussy! Of cou—shit!" Tomoe had let go of Kikyo and the wind nearly took her again. "Okay, new plan! Focus charka into the bottoms of your feet!"
"I don't know how to do that!"
"Fucking Academy!" Tomoe looked like she wanted to throw her arms up, but in doing so she'd probably lose Kikyo again. "Okay, what you do is—" Chain lightning flashed down and destroyed a tree only several feet away from them. "Fuck!"
"Where do we even go?!" Any sort of sense of direction was lost in this storm.
"We move ahead!" she ordered as she began to move, her grip on Kikyo didn't let up even a little.
Kikyo didn't know how, but apparently Tomoe had some sort of idea where she was going because eventually things began to lighten up. Either that or they were just walking in circles like a couple of idiots and the storm was finally calming down. Kikyo's money would have been on the latter.
Eventually the wind had lightened up enough that Tomoe could let go of Kikyo without fear of her being picked up and carried away. "I think we're almost through," she told her.
Then, as suddenly as the hurricane-like storm came, it ended. Within a spit second Kikyo could see the sun and blue sky where before there were nothing but black clouds. "Holy shit!" She peered at the now clear sky.
"So, Runt, you think you were able to tell when we passed into the Outside?" Tomoe looked worn out, but smirked down at her.
"…Why the hell would someone go through that?!"
Tomoe shook her head. "Because it was their mission. Just because it looks dangerous doesn't mean you can call off the mission, turn tail, and hide. There's shit to be done and a shinobi must always be willing to risk his or her life for that shit."
"But that shit was just ridiculous!"
"I know." Tomoe glanced back. "Well, I can mark 'genjutsu' off the list of possibilities."
"Are you sure? It could be a really strong one." If that were true then they were both stuck with no one to get them out.
"I'm sure." Kikyo could see the corner of Tomoe's dark purple iris. "I've yet to see a genjutsu that my eyes couldn't break down." Her sharp eyes then scanned their surroundings. "But we do seem to be somewhere else."
Kikyo looked in every direction, but only the forest that they had been traveling through. "What makes you say that?"
"Come on, Runt. It's time to learn." Tomoe grabbed her hair and led her to one of the trees. "You see this tree? It's larch."
Kikyo blinked, expecting more information. "…Okay." It just looked like a tree.
Tomoe sighed, getting impatient. "Larches grow in northern territories. It's far too hot in the Land of Fire for these trees to prosper. They're more common around Iwa or Kumo."
"So, does that mean we're in enemy territory?"
"Good train of thought, but we're 'technically' not at war right now so 'technically' they aren't enemies. Granted, if those fuckers have been developing a teleportation jutsu and it leads to inside the Land of Fire then it would be enough probable cause for war. But, the scouting team would have known if this was within the Elemental Nations."
"I guess. If this was theirs I suppose there would be guards around the general area." Her statement sounded very uncertain but after said aloud it made sense. "And you didn't see anything with your Ryugan."
"There we go, you're not completely useless!"
"I hate you."
"I know you do, Runt."
"Where are we even going?" The forest seemed to be thinning out.
"The mission report stated that the Outside had an ocean. We're going to start from there and work our way around the shoreline until we reach a port. From there all we have to do is gather intel."
"How do you know there's even a port here?"
"Because I fucking know everything."
"You do not, Fuck up Tomoe."
"Hey kid?" Tomoe backhanded the nine year old so hard that she fell face first into the dirt. "Who's the fuck up now?"
"Still you, you fucking bitch!" She rubbed the sore on the back of her head.
"Well, that didn't fucking take long at all." Tomoe seemingly ignored her and put her hands on her hips, staring ahead.
"What is— whoa." The forest had ended at the edge of a high cliff, at the bottom was a town with a vast dock and multiple ships in the harbor, but past that… it was just water. She glanced left, and then right, the water was in every direction except for behind. She had heard the ocean was big, but hearing it and seeing it were two completely different things.
"You ain't even seen the ocean, Runt?"
"No." She shook her head. "I've left the village before, but that was only for training."
"Alright, alright, enough gawking. It's time to get to work." She ushered the girl along. It took a little more walking, but the two were able to find a safe way down and made a b-line to the port town.
"So, how are we going to get information?" Kikyo asked.
"Excuse the fuck out of you? What makes you think we? I'm the one who's gonna be gathering the info."
"But I'm here too!"
"Yes, to learn."
"Then teach me!"
Tomoe blew a raspberry and snorted. "Trust me, Runt. There are things you don't wanna know."
Kikyo's eyebrow twitched. How dare she assume Kikyo couldn't handle this?! "You're going to torture people, right?" She held her head high, she knew what gathering information entailed. "Or put them under a genjutsu and pull it from their heads."
"Whoa, whoa, whoa there Runt." Tomoe waved her finger at Kikyo like she was some kind of adult or something. "Those are drastic measures that are seriously not needed here. We start with basic information and work our way up. Those tactics are saved for when there are secrets to uncover. I might work my way up there, but for now we need recent events, maps, charts, populations, technology, and a grasp on their culture."
"Well?" Kikyo tapped her foot. "Where do you find that stuff?" They would probably be running all over the place all week trying to get their hands on all those things.
Tomoe wore an almost vengeful smirk. "Feel like checking out the nearest hospital?"
Kikyo's jaw dropped. That bitch! "No, I don't wanna go to a hospital!" No! She just got out of one! She couldn't make her! No! "I won't go to a hospital!" she made her statement more solid.
"Well, too fucking bad." Tomoe turned her nose up and drug the girl by her shot hair.
"Son of a fucking bitch, Tomoe! Fucking let go of me!"
"Ank, say it right if you're going to use it. Let the fuck go of me."
"Let the fuck go!"
"Much better." She smirked.
"Tomoe!" Kikyo had resorted to kicking and punching at the aggressive adult. Suddenly a painful, burning spasm radiated throughout her body and the brunette collapsed to the ground with her fever spiking. Son of a bitch! Again?! That's all it took, just twisting the wrong way, and she went into a painful flare!
Tomoe halted and stared down with pity in her eyes before regaining her usual bitchy composure. "See, that's what you get. Dumbass." She pulled the spasming child on her back and continued to walk from there.
"You're the dumbass." Kikyo countered between painful flinches.
"Nice comeback." Tomoe stopped and examined the signs on the side of the street. "Well damn, I don't know this language." Tomoe narrowed her eyes to try and make sense of the odd shapes that were in no way kanji. The woman was still decoding the sign when the oddest looking man approached and examined it as well as he held up a map. He had short, blonde hair that was partly hidden under a black beanie, dark sunglasses, and he was wearing what looked like face paint as though he were some kind of stupid looking clown. He was really tall and gangly with a button up shirt that was covered in hearts and on his back was this huge black feathery cape thing.
"You see!" He smiled widely down to his feet where a scrawny boy that was wearing a fluffy white hat stood. "This hospital's supposed to be really good!"
The boy gave the man a very dark look. "I don't want to go to another hospital."
"Don't be silly! We'll fix it this time for sure!"
"Excuse me," Tomoe interrupted. "Did you say you were headed to the hospital?" Both turned to the kunoichi.
"Yes, do you need directions?"
"Afraid so. You see, we're from out of town so I'm not familiar with the area and we really haven't had a chance to buy any maps yet." Since when could Tomoe do nice? It was weird as fuck.
"Oh! Then it's no problem at all! We'd be more than happy to show you because we're going ourselves!" he exclaimed so happily that it reminded Kikyo of Oji.
"No we're not." The boy crossed his arms.
"Yes we are." The man picked him up by the shirt and carried the kicking boy as though he were a shopping bag. Good to know Kikyo wasn't the only one being forced by their travel partner to look like a stupid, whiny kid. "My name is Corazon and this," He held the pouting boy up higher by the back of his shirt. "Is Law." The four, well basically two because the other two were being carried, began walking down to main-street towards where the hospital must have been.
"Tomoe and this is my sister Kikyo." The older kunoichi gestured and Kikyo's jaw dropped. Why the hell would she ever introduce them like that?! She wanted to strangle Tomoe for saying such a stupid thing! Kikyo hated it, she hated the very thought of being referred to as anyone's sister, even if it was fake!
"Oh my, she doesn't look too well. What's wrong with her if you don't mind my asking?" The odd blonde man glanced down at her and pulled his sunglasses from his eyes, making it easier to see the face paint that surrounded his right eye.
"I should be the one asking you that, you fucking circus clown," Kikyo growled at the man who didn't seem to mind the insult. The boy on the other hand, snickered from his place dangling off of his hand.
"My sister has a bit of a weak body which makes her sickly and sometimes hard for her to move. I can tend to her fine for the most part, but recently we've been looking for some medicine to help ease some of her pain." What a stupid excuse, nothing could ease the pain, not unless it knocked her out.
"That's very unfortunate. I hope you find what you're looking for." The weirdo gave them a sympathetic look and it made Kikyo want to strangle him. How dare hit pity her like that?!
Tomoe moved on to a different subject before someone strangled the clown man. "So, is this hospital good?"
"I heard it's great! And everyone is very nice!"
"You said that about the last one too," the boy grumbled.
"Well this one's going to be better, you'll see, Law."
"Kid doesn't like hospitals?" Tomoe quirked an eyebrow at the boy.
"You could say that, he's very sick but doesn't have much trust in others."
"Hm, gee I wonder who that could sound like. Do you know Kikyo?"
"Go to hell, Tomoe."
"Race you."
"Here we are!" Stupid Clown Guy exclaimed with his arms out wide. The hospital was huge and had to have had at least ten stories on it. Kikyo wasn't used to such tall buildings because you just didn't see them in the Elemental Nations.
"Well, thanks for showing us the way." Tomoe waved to the pair and the two kunoichi went their separate way into the facility.
"What the hell are you thinking?! Kikyo hissed.
"Just shut up and let some of the doctors have a look at you."
"Like hell I will!"
"Oi, Runt." Tomoe grabbed her by the collar. "You said you wanted to help get information, didn't you?"
"This isn't helping!" she ground her teeth.
"Really? Haven't' you ever heard of a distraction?" Tomoe lifted an eyebrow.
"I-but-they're going to—I hate you, Tomoe."
"I know." She patted the girl's head and left while Kikyo waited for the doctor. Things went about as well as Kikyo could have expected, Tomoe found a few new pain killers, but called it a day when Kikyo tried to stab a doctor that got too close to the center of the scar.
"I want to go, Tomoe." Kikyo crossed her arms and demanded.
"Chill out, squirt. We'll leave, just wait here while I do a little more digging and we'll blow this popsicle stand."
"Fine," she growled back and sat on the exam room stool. Tomoe had only been gone a moment when there was a crashing noise coming from outside. The brunette opened the door and saw the boy from earlier running down the hall.
"White monster! Please! Someone stop him so he doesn't infect everyone else!" a nurse screamed. The boy ran past Kikyo's room and it wasn't hard to tell that the kid was crying his eyes out. "Someone get the disinfectant!"
A monster? Kikyo had to see this. The girl rolled her shoulders to make sure her muscles were going to move the way she wanted them to and took off to follow the boy. Before they reached the end of the hallway there was a small explosion and the room he had run from was on fire. Did he do that?! That little bastard! Kikyo knew hospitals did shit for her, but there were people actually getting help there! Kikyo sped up, determined to sock him one in the face. She chased him all the way out of the hospital before she caught up and planted her fist in the back of his head.
"Ow!" He gripped the spot with both hands, his eyes full of tears and his nose snotting.
"Oi! How dare you set the hospital on fire you little ass!" She raised her fist again and dodged as the boy did a swing of his own.
"I did not!" He tried to kick at her head only for her to catch it. It was nice to know that there was someone in the world she could beat.
"Oh really? Cause it kind of fucking looked like it!"
"No! I just ran because-because…" He sniffled. "They called me a monster." He rubbed his eyes.
Kikyo lowered her fists, the boy looked older than her, but he seemed to be much more of a crybaby. "Why?" The kid looked pretty far from the monsters and demons she would read about. He was kind of short, barely taller than her, very scrawny, he had dark circles under his eyes, and he had oddly colored bruises all over his face. The bruises looked like he had gotten into some white paint and it just absorbed into his skin. "If you're a monster, you're a pretty lame looking one." Not as lame as Hotaru, but pretty close.
"It-it's because I have Amber Lead poisoning." He wiped his face in an attempt to stop looking like a wussy.
"Amber Lead poisoning?" Kikyo came closer and examined odd pigments on him.
The boy leaned away and wore a cautious expression. "Aren't you afraid of catching it?"
Kikyo's eyebrows shot up. "Did that effect you're brain too?" She hit him in an attempt to knock some sense into the boy. "You can't catch poison you dumbass!" Granted, she supposed if a poison was potent enough it could be transferred via blood infusion, but Kikyo was a Tadashi so there was no threat there.
He rubbed his head and got a tick mark on it. "I know that!"
"Then why did you say it?!"
"Because other people think it is!"
"Well maybe they're dumbasses too!"
"They are!"
"But you just said it too!"
"I was making an assumption!"
"Well you shouldn't! It makes you look stupid!"
"See, I told you. Just follow the shouting," Tomoe's voice sounded from behind where she and Clown Guy were walking toward the children. Clown Guy looked like someone just punched him in the face, Kikyo's guess? Tomoe.
"Law! There you are! I was so worried! I'm sorry this hospital was bad, we'll try another one."
"You better damn well not set the next one on fire!" Tomoe warned.
"They deserved it!" he growled.
"I don't care. If the doctor is an asshole, you beat the shit out of him, don't take it out on all the innocent people inside by blowing up his office and setting the building on fire."
"You fix it?" Kikyo asked.
"Duh, of course I did. When I was done I found the culprit and kicked his ass too." She gave Clown Guy a look. "But then he gave me the reason why he did what he did and, well… I guess I'm just a softy."
"Yeah, about as soft as a porcupine," Kikyo mumbled.
"Come on Law, we're leaving." Clown Guy picked up the boy by his shirt.
"You ready Kikyo?"
"More than ready." She crossed her arms. "Are we going back to the forest? Or are we staying in the town or getting on a passenger boat?"
"No, we're leaving with them." She pointed to the boy and clown.
"Why the hell would we do that?!"
"Well, while beating the ever living shit out of our new little friend Corazon—"
"He's not my friend."
"—He told me something interesting." She turned to the boy. "Little Law here has come in contact with a poison I'm unfamiliar with…"
"And he thinks it's contagious." Kikyo quirked an eyebrow.
"Oh honey." Tomoe patted his head sympathetically.
"I do not!"
"What's the point in this Tomoe?" Kikyo scoffed. "If a sample of the poison is all you need then just draw some blood and leave it there." She threw her arm out at the kunoichi.
"No Kikyo, you see, there's this thing called helping people. Ninja do that too," she said sarcastically.
"Yeah, when they're not killing them," she snarked. "Why should we go out of our way to help these people that are not only strangers, but Outsiders as well?"
"Because I said so dammit, don't question me."
"You fucking bitch!" She'd question her all she damn well wanted!
"That's my name, don't wear it out."
"Corazon." The boy looked up to his companion. "What have you done?"
"Tomoe-san has studied medicine and I told her about the Amber Lead poisoning. She said she would see if there was anything she could do about it. Isn't that exciting?!" He gave the boy a wide grin, but the boy gave Tomoe a very uncertain look.
"You do realize that the only reason Tomoe only knows anything about medicine is because she's a tracker right?" Kikyo added.
"What's that?"
"It means she learned about medicine so she could more efficiently kill people."
His jaw not only dropped, but hit the ground and his eyes bulged from his skull. It was interesting to watch.
"Oh… so that's a no." She smirked. This was going to be interesting.
"Kikyo, if you're going to get anywhere as a ninja there's a lesson you need to learn, and learn fast."
"Yeah? And what's that?"
"There's a time and place for everything and this was neither the time nor the place for that."