Chapter 10 Consolation
Mama started to pat Sesshoumaru's back, alternating it with making big circles all designed to calm the youkai down; as she did so, she spoke sensibly to him.
"You and my daughter seem so mixed up Sesshoumaru; what a lot of nonsense you have been saying between you." Her words may have sounded frivolous but she kept up the soothing patting, while stroking of his head and still held him tightly. "There aren't two Inuyashas at all; the boy is the same one he has always been."
The youkai was in no condition to discuss this at the time; his sudden overwhelming grief for his dead brother and their lost opportunities was too intense, so Mama continued patting and rocking him. Later she tried again;
"Listen to me dear; hush now and listen. Even if your esteemed father had handed the baby Inuyasha directly into your hands from his birth, leaving you in charge and you had willingly taken him in; he would still have felt more like your son than your brother. The natural age gap aside, if you are put in the position of responsibility for a child, you will have parental duties."
Mama waited this time for a reply, before carrying on. She needed to know that the youkai was absorbing her words. He was, the storm had passed and now he felt embarrassed; not just because of his uninhibited tears, but because he had wanted the woman to comfort him.
Sesshoumaru nodded and tried to pull away; however Mama was firm and kept stroking his head which still felt good to the youkai and he gave in to the inevitable, relaxing against her. Kyouko meanwhile was mixing some cool drinks and listening to the wise words of the woman he had fallen in love with.
"Sesshoumaru, I have been in a unique position when it comes to Inuyasha; possibly I had seen a side to him that he hid well from anyone else, before the jewel was purified. No; I think Kagome has seen it too on occasion. The softer, more polite and refined boy you have now has always been there; rarely seen perhaps, but more his genuine nature than the hard tough shell he hid behind."
Again Sesshoumaru nodded as her words made sense to him and this time she let him up and Kyouko handed him a cool drink and a soft damp cloth for him to wipe his face. He did so before answering.
"Thank you, of course you are correct; his mother Izayoi was a princess and I know he was well brought up. Before...before I made them leave Inuyasha was the same child that I came to know when I had him in my care this time. I had momentarily forgotten."
"You need not feel guilty anymore over him; I am sure you made your peace with him when his memories came back."
"How did you know this, neither of us has mentioned it to anyone."
"I don't 'know'; I am assuming. You are too honourable a creature to ignore him when he needs you."
"I did not used to be."
"Perhaps, or perhaps you still kept watch." Mama took great delight in the astonished face of her guest. "For Inuyasha to love you so much from his early days; he had to be receiving something other than blows from you, however little that may have been. He is far from stupid, he probably worked out that you kept him protected at times."
"I do not understand how you would come to such conclusions."
"I told you before, Inuyasha would confide in me; when I was the only one he could call Mama. I value those times; especially when I, like you and Kagome thought that my child had died. I came to know the true nature of the boy, which is why I can reassure you both that Inuyasha, is still the same.
"He is your brother and your son and far more importantly he is where he always wanted to be, in your heart. He has all his memories of his previous years and he has gone beyond them, as all children do when they start to grow up. And as he gets older he will become more your brother and friend; bonded by love from you both, just as your father or any parent wishes for their offspring."
Sesshoumaru was still unsettled but he could recognise the wisdom of her words and was grateful for the relief she gave him. He bowed his head over her hands and kissed them as he whispered his thanks.
Kagome came downstairs just before the meal was ready; having heard enough to give Sesshoumaru some privacy, and Mama was serving for them all. Souta and Grandpa had taken theirs to the shrine office as they were still working when there was hammering knocks on the door. Before anyone could open it, the door slid aside revealing Inuyasha who shot through into the kitchen.
"What's the matter Sesshpapa? What's happened; Kagome have you upset my brother with your silly notions?" He stood glaring at her, his golden eyes shining with concern and anger, his nose busy sniffing the air and his sight coming to rest on Mama. The fact that he had burst in and interrupted a meal was totally lost on the rapidly unnerved hanyou.
"Inuyasha calm down." Said Mama "Everything is fine now, will you join us for dinner there is plenty?"
"Keh! What's going on; why has Sesshpapa been crying, he doesn't cry? Kagome, you too? Mama, tell me why." Inuyasha by now had smelt that his brother had been leaning on Mama and he was very concerned about the unusual situation and irate that no answers were forthcoming. His eyes were flashing dangerously as he went back and demanded answers of Sesshoumaru.
"Why won't someone tell me what the hell is going on? Sesshpapa come on, tell me."
"Inuyasha, no one can get a word in edgeways; you haven't stopped ranting." Sesshoumaru stated and looking severely at Inuyasha. "You have barged in here most rudely without greeting anyone and have yet to answer Lady Higurashi as to your dinner." His normal voice coupled with the scolding served to bring Inuyasha to his senses; this was familiarity and therefore a relief to the fairly stressed hanyou.
"Feh! Sorry Mama; yes please." Inuyasha said contritely and went to sit down next to Sesshoumaru, staring into his brother's eyes until Sesshoumaru glared back and the boy backed down. Inuyasha had been passing the shrine on his way home when he'd noticed Sesshoumaru's car and had thought to ask for a lift the rest of the way. As he approached the house he had smelt his brother's tears and felt his distressed aura.
By now Kagome was smiling and not minding in the least the behaviour of the younger sibling; seeing in him the very thing she felt had been lost forever. Sesshoumaru seemed to realise that at the same time and they shared a smile as Kagome knew that he too had been affected enough to share her sorrow. Inuyasha caught the look and got agitated again.
"What is it between you too; have you pissed each other off or what?"
"Mind your language pup; in any case it is nothing that need concern you, everything is sorted out."
"Keh! Like hell it is." He sulked and sat glaring at everyone in turn with his arms folded in front of him before turning his head to the side and ignoring them all, making Kagome smile again.
"Stop sulking Inuyasha; whatever will your pupil think of her teacher, seeing you acting like a brat? Kagome is under the impression that you are grown up." Then he ruffled Inuyasha's hair as he could hear a slight miserable whine in his pup's throat.
"I was worried, O.K? It's not like you to be upset, even if I know the wench has a viciously sharp tongue sometimes." He smirked at Kagome to take out the sting of his words. She returned the favour by poking her tongue out at him.
"Very mature the pair of you." Sesshoumaru rebuked them; but he couldn't help a relieved smile either, especially as both Mama and Kyouko were grinning. Inuyasha was still not convinced; something had upset both Kagome and most amazingly Sesshoumaru, which then concerned him.
"You alright Kagome; you settled things between you now?" Inuyasha asked; his eyes still full of apprehension for her.
"Yes Inuyasha. It's all sorted. I'm sorry for worrying you; it's just that while we were talking it struck me that it was like you had died when I didn't see the old you, that's all."
"Hey, I keep telling you; I'm still me wench." He said, his eyes glowing softly. She nodded and turned her attention to Mama and Kyouko while Inuyasha gazed at his brother; only this time he didn't turn away. The question was clear in his burning eyes and Sesshoumaru was going to have to answer. Speaking so quietly that only one with youkai hearing could do so, he said;
"I too got caught up in the intensity of Kagome's grief; it made me consider that I had lost my little ruffian brother in gaining my son. I...regretted the lost opportunities to be your brother. Lady Higurashi however was able to reassure me that such was not the case." His own eyes still softened by his recent emotion looked down into his brother's.
"I thought we had discussed this years ago Sesshoumaru, my brother; this is all settled." Inuyasha deliberately used his sibling's proper name which he did rarely; and usually only when speaking of the Sesshoumaru of the past. The youkai's aura saddened again in memory.
"I know Inuyasha; it just overcame me that is all."
Before he could succumb again to the melancholy which was still close to the surface, Inuyasha pushed his head under his brother's chin and grumbled in a low tone that comforted Sesshoumaru. Kyouko was used to such display between parents and pups, but Kagome was entranced and although she said nothing she openly stared, happy that she saw for herself the affection of the brothers.
Later in the car on the way home, Kyouko drove so that the brothers could sit together. Sesshoumaru was still a bit unsettled and had his tail wrapped around Inuyasha; who allowed it for his brother's peace of mind, more than his own.
"Would you rather have the brother who called you jerk and jackass, bastard or worse in every breath; I can summon him in a heartbeat if you wish?" Inuyasha teased, but his brother remained too quiescent; not rising to the bait to scold him. Inuyasha huffed annoyed, but the molten eyes of Sesshoumaru were turned on him again.
"I do not wish to be called such names by my brother of course, but I can regret that my brother ever felt the need to do so and yet not know the love he was entitled to as my brother."
"Sesshoumaru, your brother can still kick your ass if he wants to."
"Was that a plea for a sparring match my pup? Remember the penalties for losing and disrespecting your alpha will still be enforced."
"Feh! That's better Sesshpapa; fire suits your eyes better than water." Inuyasha grinned pleased with the results of his banter. Then he sobered up wanting Sesshoumaru to know something important to him.
"Do you know what the happiest memory I have from the old time is; apart from being with my mother?"
"I do not; I would suppose it has something to do with your friends or Kagome?"
"No; it was when my beautiful, proud and aristocratic brother, the Daiyoukai of the West invited me, a filthy uncouth and foulmouthed little hanyou to come home to live with him. You were un-coerced, it meant so much to me; you had forgiven my birth and it led to my future being with you." Inuyasha felt the tail tighten around him and he looked horrified as Sesshoumaru hid his face in his hand.
"You should never have been forced into that position of need in the first place my pup." Sesshoumaru choked out.
"Oy, I said fire suits you better than water Sesshpapa; don't get sloppy on me, please." Inuyasha whined and whined, until Sesshoumaru was forced to answer the call of his pup; pulling him close, in a warm hug. That night when Sesshoumaru crept in to watch over Inuyasha as he dreamed; the turmoil of the youkai's mind that day was finally settled, his baby brother merely slept contented and was not dead.
The next day was fine and bright for everyone as much had been sorted through in their minds. Kagome felt happier than she had ever felt, even in the past. She could see a future with her schooling and college successfully behind her and Inuyasha hopefully ahead. It was indeed good to have cleared everything up with Sesshoumaru and to be able to know for certain that Inuyasha had been happy for all those long years.
She was not naive to think that there would be no more difficulties ahead but she was confident that they would be surmountable with all the support from the families. In history class too, she had known that Inuyasha was happier with her; he had whispered that he was proud of her and of how she had accepted his brother.
He had even risked a daring, very quick but intense kiss to her lips as he leaned over her desk; his long hair shielding them briefly, and he enjoyed the complete blush that suffused her face as he stood up again.
"Do you think you have the answer clearly now Miss Higurashi?" He smirked mischievously as all she could do was nod. But she didn't care, Inuyasha was still Inuyasha and she loved him; not that it would stop her getting her revenge if she could. In the hallway after the class they had the chance to speak quietly and she asked after Sesshoumaru, apologising for bringing up his bad memories.
Inuyasha was able to assure her that his brother was quite recovered and back to his normal self; which caused them both to chuckle, although Kagome commented that she hadn't known that the Daiyoukai could shed tears. Inuyasha just smiled a little and said he had known him to before, but would not elaborate further.
That same morning, Mama received a letter along with some sweet smelling Freesias; they were from Hanataba thanking her for her kindness towards her mate, and complimenting her on her wisdom. Sesshoumaru had told Hanataba all that had happened and Kyouko had also praised her. Hanataba wished to know Mama more as a friend because hopefully they would become sisters in the future.
In this Hanataba was not pre-empting her brother, as Inuyoukai all knew that serious courtship was not undertaken lightly. Mama too knew this; Sesshoumaru had carefully explained it to her some time before and she was delighted with the prospect of coming to know Kyouko's sister.
Over the next few weeks, Kagome wished that Inuyasha would make further attempts to kiss her or show some affection but he did not. It would not be ethical and he had been incautious the first and only time he did; had they been seen, he could have lost his career and possibly not be employable at all. But for Kagome she felt a little lost and sad as it felt as if he had withdrawn from her.
It was Sesshoumaru who had found out that he had been indiscreet and he had berated Inuyasha fiercely. Apart from getting into trouble himself, Inuyasha was not being fair to Kagome by nearly starting something that he couldn't yet finish and distracting her from reaching her soul's desire. Inuyasha knew that Kagome loved him and he also knew it was the nature of girls her age to be intense about their feelings; he had no excuse in his father's opinion.
Sesshoumaru wouldn't accept that it had just been 'a slight kiss that hardly mattered' either; he had been able to pick up on Kagome's scent and anyway, who did Inuyasha think he was trying to fool? The pup was being selfish; he had had his second chance and was likely to ruin Kagome's if he wasn't careful. Did Inuyasha want to disappoint his parents and Lady Higurashi who were trusting in him?
It had been a long time since Sesshoumaru had disciplined Inuyasha by reducing him to tears with a tongue lashing alone. But he did not prolong his discourse once that had happened; the pup had got the message and didn't need his brother to belabour the point. Sesshoumaru knew that Inuyasha would heed the warning; or he would if he knew what was good for him, he thought ruefully.
He did, Inuyasha could see the truth in his brother's words and admitted that he was not being fair to Kagome or himself if he carried on. It would start small, but he was old enough to know that it wouldn't stay that way. Besides he valued his brother's trust; plus Sesshoumaru still had a heavy hand when it came to it, and Inuyasha didn't like being on the receiving end.
TBC