Howdy readers! Hoping this story will pick up pace, but I've been struggling with ideas. This one tok a lot to write and I really don't know where to go from here. I don't want to do the same thing as other stories.
So please if you have any sort of idea, please PM me or post a review. The sooner I get ideas, the sooner I can update.
Thanks to those of you who are still reading! =]
At the sound of Stef's yelp, Lena's head sprung up and she looked towards the living room. She didn't think that Callie would hurt Stef, but she had no idea what had caused her wife to scream. Lena eyed Jude whose eyes were wide open in fear. She decided that Stef would be able to hold her own with the girl, and made her way over to the small boy who had found his way to the breakfast nook.
"Hey buddy." She said with a smile. "Did you think of something you wanted to eat?" She asked, trying to take his mind off of his sister in the next room.
He shook his head and lowered his head. Lena squatted down next to him and waited for the boy to lift his head up to meet her eyes. "I promise both you and your sister are safe here. I know it's been a hard night, but you really need to eat something. Can you do that for me?"
Jude cocked his head in confusion. He had never had a foster family genuinely care about him getting something to eat and feeling safe. He had a hard time believing the woman who was in front of him. She could be lying. He thought to himself. They always lie. He concluded, remembering all of the lies he had been told in previous homes.
"Jude?" Lena asked again, her voice pleading.
Although he didn't know if she was lying or not, Jude knew he would probably get into more trouble is he didn't listen, so he nodded his head slightly.
"Good!" She said with a smile before standing back up straight. "Ok would you like to look at what we have? Or did you have something in mind?" She asked as she walked back over to the island counter.
"It doesn't matter. Whatever you want." Jude said timidly. He wanted to give this new person no room to get mad at him.
Lena looked at the boy, her eyes filled with sadness. At least he said he will eat. She thought as she nodded her head. "Alright. How about eggs, bacon and toast?" She asked, hoping it was something the boy liked. She had a feeling he wouldn't tell her anyway if he didn't like it.
Jude's face perked up ever so slightly and he nodded. Lena caught the genuine excitement, even if it was only present for a moment and nodded. "Alright. Sounds good to me! Wanna help?" She asked.
Before Jude could answer, they heard Stef call out Callie's name and the door open. Before she could stop him, Jude had leapt up from his seat and ran towards the yelling. He stopped in his tracks when he saw the front door wide open and the back of his sister as she began to run from the house.
As soon as his brain registered that Callie was running, Stef passed through the front door as well and began to take off after his sister.
"Callie!" The boy began before taking off towards the door as well. He didn't get far, however, because by that time, Lena had made her way towards the front door and had grabbed ahold of him.
"Hey sweetie it's ok. Stef is just going to follow Callie so she doesn't get hurt." Lena tried to assure the boy, but he continued to try and wiggle out from her grasp. "Jude, sweetie. Come on, love." She said as she positioned herself to where she was between the boy and the open door. She used one of her legs to catch the open door and close it.
"Ok Jude. Can you look at me?" She asked as she placed both hands on the boy's shoulders.
The young child lifted his eyes up to meet the woman's and Lena could see tears forming.
"Sweetie." She began, using her thumbs to catch the few tears that had spilled over. "Callie is ok. Stef will not hurt her. You have to believe me." Lena was desperate for the boy to understand what she was saying was true. She knew he was scared, and she needed to distract his thoughts. "Maybe you could help me with breakfast so when Stef and Callie come back, they can get something to eat right away?" She asked. Hoping that the fact she implied that Callie would be coming back would ease the boy.
Jude thought about her question and slowly nodded. He knew Stef was safe; she had saved both of them from his old foster home. It was just the unknown that scared him. The unknown if he would be sleeping on that couch tonight or if he would be going through the garbage for leftover food when a foster family didn't remember to feed them.
Jude felt Lena's thumbs against his cheeks again and realized he had started crying again. The boy shook his head, wiped away his tears and looked back up at the woman. "Ok." He simply stated.
That was enough for Lena. She smiled brightly down at him and extended her hand. Just like last time, the boy took it and gave her a small smile. She gently squeezed his hand and the two of the walked back into the kitchen. Lena was praying that Stef had in fact caught up to Callie and that they would be back soon. She knew she could only keep Jude distracted for so long.
"Callie?" Stef said gently for the second time. The girl's tears seemed endless as Stef's shirt became soaked with the girl's frustrations. "Callie, sweetie." Stef said once more, gathering the girl's hair and pulling it off of her sticky shoulders. "Callie can you look at me? Please?"
The girl went rigid for a moment before quickly sitting straight up and wiping at her eyes feverously. She looked at the ground while Stef talked to her.
"Callie. You're ok. You're safe here. This" She said gesturing at her arm with small dried blood scrapes, "was an accident."
Momentarily forgetting what she had done, Callie looked fearfully at the injured arm and her face paled. "No, no please." She said trying to push away from the woman's grasp.
"Callie!" Stef tried once more. "Baby it was an accident. I'm not mad." Stef tried to assure the girl, who was still trying to back herself away from Stef, which still on the ground.
"I'm sorry. Please, please I won't do it again." Callie pleaded, her mind obviously shut off to what Stef was saying.
Stef sighed. She was really at a loss as to what to try next to calm the girl. "Sweets." She said forcefully, grasping the teen's hands firmly. "Look at me." She said, her voice stern. Finally, Callie looked up once more, her brown eyes filled with tears. "You are not in trouble. Do you understand?"
Callie barely nodded before Stef shook her head "No, Callie. I want to hear you say it."
"I understand." She mumbled quietly.
"What do you understand?" Stef asked, her eyes never once leaving the brown ones.
"That I'm not in trouble." Callie finally said before dropping her head down once more.
"Good job, love." Stef praised. She gently squeezed the teen's hands. "Ok. How about something to eat and a shower?" She suggested, hoping that Callie would at least go into the house with her.
Callie shrugged and kept her eyes glued to the floor.
Stef sighed and bent down to get closer to the teen's eyes. "Will you come back in the house with me?"
A slight nod of the head prompted a smile to form on Stef's lips. "Good. Because it's kinda hot out here." She said, trying to lighten the mood. "A nice shower and some food sounds so good right now."
Callie didn't respond, but followed her foster mother back into the house. She was too embarrassed to look up or respond. I just cried to this random woman. I let her comfort me. What the hell? She thought to herself as her brain spun. Damn it. She shook her head. She knew she couldn't get close to this family. She knew that the second she allowed them in, everything would be pulled out from underneath her. Callie felt her hands start to shake as she followed Stef back into the house.
"You ok, love?" Stef asked once they got into the house. She could feel the small hands shaking in her own.
Callie nodded and looked up, hoping to escape any more talks with the cop. "Can I take a shower?" She asked cautiously.
Stef smiled. "Sure, sweetheart. I'll show you where it is." She replied as Jude ran in.
"Callie!" He yelled as he wrapped his hands around her waist.
"I'm ok, baby. I promise. I'm just gonna shower." Callie said, forcing a smile to try and show her brother that she was truly fine.
"Would you like to eat something first?" Lena asked, entering the room after the boy.
Callie shook her head. "I'm not hungry. I just really wanna take a shower." She said quickly, looking towards the stairs.
"Ok. You can eat after!" Lena said with a smile. "Come on, Jude. Let's finish before Callie gets done showering." She put her arm gently around the young boy's shoulders and pulled him closer to her side.
Jude looked to Callie as if to ask permission. Callie nodded her head and Jude released his grip on her waist, allowing Lena to pull him fully towards her.
"Ok. Come on, sweets." Stef said as she turned towards the stairs.
"Stef." Lena said, giving her the look of 'we need to talk'.
"I'll come down after I get Callie situated." Stef responded with a slight nod.
"Ok. Oh and check on our diva. I heard the water turn off a while ago, but I haven't heard from her since."
"I forgot Miss Thing was home with us!" Stef replied as she started up the stairs, Callie immediately following.
"Hopefully she's sleeping, but if she isn't, let her know I'll be up there in a bit." Lena said before turning around with Jude and walking them both back into the kitchen.
"Alright, mama" Stef replied with a smile before she too turned and continued walking up the stairs.
Stef grabbed a towel from the hall closet and led the teen towards the kids' bathroom. She quickly ran towards the shower and grabbed both razors that were resting on the side of the tub. She didn't know what Callie had used to cut herself, or if it was even as serious as the doctor said, but she hadn't gotten a chance to approach the girl about it, so she decided to not take any chances.
"Here is the soap, shampoo, conditioner." Stef pointed out as she slipped the razors into her pockets. "Here's your towel. Let me know if you need anything." She finished with a smile.
Callie took the towel from Stef's hand, but remained still. "Thanks." She said quietly.
Stef resisted the urge to kiss the top of Callie's hair as she left the bathroom.
As soon as Stef made it fully out of the bathroom, Callie shut the door and locked it. She ran towards the shower, turned the water on, and let it fall. She let the towel drop from her hands and she fell to the ground, wrapping her arms around her legs, tears pouring down her cheeks. She struggled to continue breathing normally, but the thoughts in her head made her brain temporarily forget how to. Suddenly, Callie felt her chest tighten up and her hand flew to her chest. She tried taking several gasps of air, but it wouldn't make it to her lungs.
Stef sighed when Callie shut the door and immediately locked it. She knew that Callie was having a difficult time, but it broke her heart to see her so shattered. Stef took a moment to collect her thoughts before going to check on Mariana, but before she was able to leave, she heard soft sobs coming from the other side of the door. She leaned her head against the door and closed her eyes. She desperately wanted to help Callie, but she didn't know how to get her to understand that she was safe.
Stef debated knocking, but decided against it. She felt that Callie needed the time to herself, but when she began hearing gasping, Stef's attention turned fully to the door. "Callie?" When she heard no response, her heart rate picked up. "Callie? I need you to respond."
After another few moments of continued gasping, Stef began to pound on the door. "Callie!" Her voice was filled with fear as she thought the worst. "I'm coming in." She stated as she reached over into one of the drawers of the corner table, which was next to the bathroom. She grabbed the spare key and pushed it into the lock. Once she heard it click, she stopped once more to warn the girl. "Callie. I'm coming in. I need to make sure you're safe." At the silence, Stef took a deep breath and opened the door.
"Oh Callie baby." She said as she moved quickly to the girl who was crumpled into a ball on the floor of the bathroom. She dropped to her knees and reached her hands out momentarily before dropping them back down to her sides. "Callie, sweetie." She started, which caused the girl to push herself further away from Stef.
Her breaths became shorter and her whimpers grew louder as she struggled to continue to breathe. "Callie!" Stef said once more, knowing she needed to interviene quickly.
"Stef?" Lena's voice appeared behind her suddenly.
The blonde spun around and her eyes met her wife and Jude. "Hey, sweetie." She said, directing her words at the boy. "Callie's gonna be just fine! I'm gonna wait with her until she calms down a little, ok?" She said, trying to speak quickly as to focus her attention back to the girl.
"Come on, Jude." Lena said, putting her hands on the boy's shoulders and started leading him towards her room.
Turning her head back to the struggling girl, Stef was now able to focus on Callie, because she knew Lena would be able to handle Jude.
Stef scooted closer to Callie and took a deep breath. "Callie. Can you look at me?" She asked quietly. When the girl didn't respond once more, Stef reached over to the girl. "Callie, I'm gonna put my hand on your shoulder." She didn't want to take any chances of scaring the girl even more with her touch. Stef was surprised to see that Callie didn't flinch when she made contact with the girl's shoulder. "Callie. Can you let go of your legs? So you can breathe easier?"
Suddenly, Stef's eyes fell towards the girl's legs. Several streams of blood were making their way down her legs. "Callie!" Stef exclaimed as she moved her attention to the injuries. "What…" She began before she discovered the source of the blood, Callie had dug her fingernails so hard into her thighs that she had created gashes. It was as if she didn't even register what she was doing- as if it was something she had done before.
This time, Stef didn't hesitate, she reached over to the girl and pulled her hands away from her thighs. She quickly grabbed towels and put them on her cuts, but kept her main focus on the girl herself. "Shhh baby. You're ok." She cooed as she wrapped the girl into her arms, trying to sooth her. "Come on, sweetie. Breathe. You gotta breathe for me."
Callie was in a daze. As she began to hyperventilate, her head became fuzzy and she couldn't piece together what was happening around her. She knew someone was now in the room with her, but she couldn't tell who it was. Pressure. Need to release. Wait. She thought to herself as she dug her fingernails into her skin. Yes. Wait. Yes. I need to breathe. Harder. Yeah this helps. She realized as she dug her nails deeper into her thighs. Wait why can't I breathe? Who is here? Jude? Where's Jude? I need more. Wait. Stop! Who took my hands away? She thought to herself becoming extremely frustrated and panicked. She tried to gulp as much air as possible, but her lungs wouldn't work. Who is talking? Callie tried hard to focus on the voice, but her brain wouldn't stop spinning.
"Callie! Baby girl. Come on, love. Breathe for me. I need you to breathe, sweetie." Stef's tried to keep her tone calm, but she was worried about the girl passing out from lack of air. She took the girl's arms and gently pulled her off of the wall. Even as she resisted, Stef didn't let go. She repositioned herself so her back was now to the wall and she was once again between her legs, her back on Stef's chest. She crossed Callie's arms over her own chest and pulled the girl close to her. She used her legs to keep the teen's legs on the ground, so she couldn't curl herself up into a ball, hopefully allowing the air to enter her lungs.
"Come on. Follow my breathing, baby." Stef pleaded with the girl.
Stef? Callie thought to herself Yeah. That's Stef's voice. But what is she doing here? Why does she care? She thought. Breathe, Callie. She tried to tell herself as she felt her body being repositioned. Wait no! Don't! No! Her brain screamed as she tried to pull away from the grasp.
Stef sighed as Callie continued to struggle against her. "Lena!" She yelled. She knew Lena would be busy with Jude, but she was running out of options and needed to calm Callie down and get her to breathe.
In a matter of seconds, Lena appeared at the doorway, her hand over her heart as she took in the scene in front of her. Not surprisingly, Jude was right behind her. Stef gave Lena a look, then gazed briefly at the boy.
"Jude, sweetie. Callie is gonna be ok, just like I said before. Would you like to take a shower or watch a movie while we settle Callie down?" Stef asked. She knew the boy wouldn't want to be alone and away from his sister, but she knew that he needed to be out of sight while they dealt with his sister.
Jude didn't respond. He kept his line of vision on his sister, his eyes wide.
"Please, sweetie. I will come get you as soon as we get Callie situated in bed. I think she is extremely exhausted and needs some rest." Lena said quickly. "Go on into our room. The TV is on." She said, turning the boy around and gently pushing him towards their room. He hesitated slightly, but the look in Lena's eyes calmed him and he felt like he could trust her. Despite everything Callie had taught him about trusting people, something about Lena made him feel safe, like he used to feel with his mom.
Jude finally left the bathroom and Lena turned back to Stef and Callie. She let out a sad breath and knelt down. "Hi, sweetie." She said as she settled down next to the two. She might have said it towards Callie, but she also meant it to her wife, who she knew was frightened.
"I dono how to calm her down." Stef confessed, tears brimming at her eyes.
Lena nodded. She sat in front of both girls and took Callie's hands into her own. "Callie." She said in a soothing tone. "Callie, sweetie can you look at me?" When she didn't get a response, Lena gently lifted the girls chin up with her hand and tried to catch her gaze. "Callie?"
The girl began to shake. What the hell is going on? Why? Why is my head spinning? Why can't I breathe. I just wanna breathe! Help! Callie's thoughts spilled out in the form of movements. Her head fell back against Stef's chest and her hand slipped out of Lena's loose grasp and flew to her chest.
Lena noted the sudden movements and knew Callie couldn't breathe. She looked at Stef with worry in her eyes. "Stef. I need you to get up and sit on the toilet. Hold her on your lap. I need to get her head between her knees to breathe." She instructed, mama tiger in full force.
Stef nodded and used her now free hands to push herself up as much as possible. Lena reached down and lifted the girl by her armpits in order for Stef to have the ability to relocate. Callie's light weight made it easy for the cop to lift the girl back onto her lap once she got situated on the toilet seat.
"Ok Callie?" Lena questioned as she again knelt in front of the girl. "I am going to but you head down to help you breathe. But I need you to start taking some breaths, ok? Can you do that for me?"
To both mother's surprise, Callie nodded slightly.
"Good girl!" Stef praised as she rubbed soothing circles on the girl's back.
Lena gently pushed the girl's head down to below her knees while Stef kelp hold of her by the waist.
Both mothers' hands never left the girl, and slowly, Callie's breathing evened out. Both women sighed in relief.
When Callie's breaths became more regular, Lena helped sit the teen up right again. Her body immediately slumped against Stef and right away, they could see that she was shaking. Stef wrapped her arms around the girl once more and began to rock her slightly.
"Can we get her to a bed?" Lena asked as she turned off the water that had been on since Callie had first gotten in the bathroom.
Stef nodded and cocked her head to the side, silently asking where they would bring her.
"I'll take Jude downstairs. Bring her into our room." Lena decided before walking out of the room.
"Ok Callie. Ok baby. You're ok. Shhh. You're ok. I've got you." Stef whispered into the girl's ear, her fingers running gently up and down the girl's arms.
Lena ran out of the bathroom, but immediately slowed down before she walked fully into her bedroom. She didn't want to frighten the boy any more than he was. As she walked in, she wasn't surprised to see him sitting on the very corner of the bed, eyes directed at the door in anticipation. As soon as he saw Lena, he sprung up and stood in front of her, his eyes searching for answers.
"Hey, sweetie. Callie's doing so much better. We're gonna have her relax a little in here, but I wanted to give her some alone time." She saw his eyes drop in sadness and her heart broke. She squatted down to try and reach his gaze and cupped his chin in her hand. "You know you can trust us here, right?" Even though the boy nodded, Lena felt like he wasn't as sure as he was letting on.
"Good. Because you and your sister are safe." She said with a smile.
He nodded once more and looked at her with question for instruction.
"Why don't we get you situated on the couch with a movie? Once we get Callie settled, I'll come join you. Ok?"
"Ok." Jude finally used his words and even showed a small smile. Once again, he couldn't put his finger on it, but Lena had a way of making him feel safe and loved. He felt like he could trust them to be with his sister and that she wouldn't be punished like the other foster parents would have done in this situation.
Lena smiled back and extended her hand. Jude took it and allowed her to lead him back downstairs.
"Oh. Hold on a moment." She said as she passed her daughter's room. She poked her head in and sighed when she saw the girl lying in bed, eyes staring up at the celling.
"Hey Miss Thing. Sorry did we wake you up?" She asked sympathetically.
Her head turned to face her mother and she shook her head. "No. I couldn't sleep anyway." She responded.
Lena walked into the room. She felt guilty for not having the chance to talk with her daughter about what was going on in her life. She knew it was something bigger than normal and she felt terrible for not getting to her sooner. "Hey baby." She said as she sat down on the bed and ran her fingers through the girl's hair.
"Hi." She said, her gaze leaving her mother's.
Lena let her hand rest on her daughter's forehead for a moment. "No fever." She said with a slight smile before continuing to run her fingers through the girl's hair.
"I feel better." She said plainly, clearly not convincing.
Lena made a mental note to have some alone time with her daughter and her wife, but for the time being, she decided to see if maybe a distraction would be ideal. "Callie's younger brother Jude is actually staying with us for a couple of days too, and I was gonna put in a movie for him downstairs. Maybe you could watch with him?" Lena suggested. "It would be good for him to not be alone." She added.
Mariana sat up slightly and looked around, hoping to spot the boy.
"Jude" Lena called out and the boy's face appeared at the door. "Hi, buddy!" She said with an excited tone. "Mari baby this is Jude. Jude this is my daughter Mariana. Would it be ok if she watched the movie with you?" She asked gently.
Jude smiled and nodded. The girl looked nice and he was happy to see that there were other kids close to his age in the house.
"Mariana wasn't feeling well, but I think a movie would be a good change of scenery than this room, hu Miss Thing?" She asked as she stood up and helped the girl out of her bed. Lena smiled as her daughter leaned into her and wrapped her arm around her mother's waist.
"Ready, Jude?" She asked as she turned towards the door and extended her hand once more. Before she could fully extend it, Jude moved into her other side and leaned his head into her side as well. Lena's heart swelled as she put an arm around each child's shoulder and began to walk. She leaned down and kissed her daughter's head and after a slight moment of hesitation, she kissed the top of the boy's head as well. She sighed in relief when he settled further into her. She hoped that Callie would soon get comfortable enough to allow this kind of love. Although she had only been in her life for a day, Lena felt something special with both Jacob kids and she wanted to do anything in her power to show them just how special they are.