Disclaimer: I do not own Sons of Anarchy, it's owned my the amazing Kurt Sutter, FX and everyone else who has the money to kick my ass in court if I don't have this up here. I do however own Taru, her horse and just about every other random that pops up in the story. This has come from the depths of my sick, insane, twisted, depraved mind and my madness fuel's it to keep going as do all my lovely fans that keep reading and reviewing.

HaylsValo: Let me get out another Chap then I promise to wake her up.

HistoryNerd: It happened way back in the first story, would have been Chap 15 (Distraught Moments Often Lead to Bad Situations) it happened just after Tristen got raped.

vilis91: Migraine's gone just got sunburn now. Mystery is staying a mystery for now at least until I work out everything.

Amazed – Lonestar

I don't know how you do what you do
I'm so in love with you
It just keeps getting better
I wanna spend the rest of my life
With you by my side
Forever and ever
Every little thing that you do
Baby I'm amazed by you

Should Have's and Regrets

=Chibs' P.O.V=

I made my way down the hall towards Taru's hospital room, the day had gone from one shit storm to the next and right now all I needed was to settle down in the peace and quiet of Taru's room before some other piece of shit hit the fan. I tugged at the collar of my kutte as I entered and unclasped the closures before shrugging it off and sling it over the back of the chair as I sat down and rested my feet on the edge of the bed. "How are ya love?" I murmured softly.

The steady shallow rising and falling of her chest gave me some sort of peace of mind that somewhere in there she was still hanging on. "You've been missin' all the fun love, missed Happy joinin' SAMCRO, missed the fight between Tig and Kozik," I sighed softly. "Even missed the Sheriff's coming ta raid the clubhouse for illegal 'scripts"

I sighed softly resting back against the chair. "Angel showed up at the 'ouse the other day, she and ya niece are stayin' at a motel, told 'er they could stay at the 'ouse but she insisted on stayin' at the motel," I rubbed the back of Taru's hand lightly. "Still 'ave yet ta see ya niece, bet she's a pretty wee thing"

I placed her hand back on the bed and leant back in the chair before looking around the room, it seemed pretty dreary, cold, almost lifeless. "Need ta brighten up this room love, it doesn't seem like a place ya would want ta be," I murmured rubbing at the back of my neck. "Oswald's 'ere, talkin' ta Gemma and Clay, we're tryin' ta get a ride ta Belfast, track down Abel and bring 'im 'ome"

I twisted slightly grabbing my kutte and yanking it from the back of the chair onto my lap before sifting through my pockets to find what I'd been holding close since the day I'd bought it. "'ope ya like this love, first time I saw it I thought of ya," I searched through my pockets and pulled out the small box. "Thought about 'ow much I wanted ta spend the rest of my life with ya, 'ow much ya mean ta me now"

"Oh my gosh"

I ripped my head up from fingering the velvet covering the box to find Angel standing in the doorway. "Angel..."

"Is that what I think it is?" She asked letting the door swing shut as she came in.

"Aye, it is" I murmured snapping the box open.

"Did you ask her?"

I shook my head swallowing roughly.

"Why not?" She demanded an answer with her hands on her hips.

"Didn't feel right"

She rolled her eyes lightly. "Didn't feel right? Chibs that is one of the lamest excuses I've ever heard"

I glanced down at the box and fingered the velvet again. "Aye it is lame but it's the truth," I stated. "Plus I'm still married ta Fiona, I couldn't do that ta Taru," I shook my head lightly. "No matter 'ow much shit I put 'er through I couldn't do that ta 'er"

"When were you going to ask her?"

"Night before all this shit 'appened" I stated nodding lightly towards the machines in the room.

"You know she loves you right?"

"'Course I do"

"Taru doesn't really give a shit about Fiona; she cares more about you and your future than about all the past shit"

I glanced at the sleeping Finn and sighed softly. "I wish I 'ad asked 'er" I murmured softly biting back the tears as I rubbed my thumb over the box and paused before snapping it open and taking in the silver ring, a deep blood red heart in the centre, a skull just visible underneath the deep red with a fancy silver design of flames either side of the heart.

"Well you know what you need to do Chibs; I'm not going to explain it to you"

I looked up at her for a minute before she tipped her head towards Taru. I looked towards Taru and then at the ring in the box, I shook my head lightly. "I don't want ta ask 'er till I'm free and clear of Fi, I want ta start fresh, no attachments ta Fi and Jimmy"

Angel nodded lightly sighing softly and sitting on the extra chair. "Jade's worried about her, keeps begging her to wake up"

"Where is Jade?"

"She's talking to her new friend in the kids ward," She smiled softly. "She's so easy to get along with, just like Myrsky"

"If everythin' goes ta plan we should be leavin' for Ireland soon ta get Abel back promise me ya will take care of 'er until I get back"

Angel looked up and nodded. "Of course I will," She smiled lightly. "Esa's coming over soon; it's really gotten to him that she's in a coma"

"Aye I bet it 'as," I looked to the box in my hands still and sighed slipping it back into my kutte pocket. "Don't mention this ta either of them yet"

Angel nodded lightly and stood. "I guess I'd better go find Jade before she get's herself into trouble"

I chuckled softly. "Sounds like Taru"

"She is a lot like her," Angel chuckled. "She sees Myrsky as a role model even if she's not the best role model in the world she still better than all those god damn stick thin anorexic celebrity role models"

"Aye," I let my eyes land on Taru, she had her strengths and she had her flaws but all in all she was human, who didn't have flaws? No one was perfect no matter how hard they tried. "I need ta see the others, see what's 'appenin' with Oswald," I stated standing and slinging my kutte on. "I'll talk ta ya later love" I gave Angel a quick hug and headed out down the hall to catch up with everyone else.

Been a bit busy, xmas party yesterday and I was shit tired when I got home, will try and get the next one up tomorrow.

I've also been thinking, what does everyone think if I do a short side story, 5+ chaps about Taru's life before Chibs, it would take place while she's with Niko and highlight her life with him and Kai, probably mostly just oneshots detailing their lives and important events including their deaths. What do you all think? Vote on the poll on my profile or send me a message/review if enough people want to read then I'll do it.