Alice Down the Well
Chapter 10 – The Mad Hatter's Birthday Party
Hugging Dinah as she walked through the jungle of gigantic flowers (or rather, just normal flowers. They didn't grow – she and Dinah shrank), Alice shivered. A light, thin, short-sleeved dress was only good for the hot summer day that Alice was sent to fetch water for, not 'bushwalking'. It was cold, and even ants were half their size.
As soon as they left the flowery jungle, Alice's legs gave way, and they both lied down to rest, but not for long, for they could hear an argument nearby. Quick as lightning, both jumped behind an old oak tree.
"Off me, Dinah!" screamed Alice as Dinah jumped onto her head and clung onto her hair when the kitten slipped, but she hushed her mistress. Three voices piped into the conversation.
"It's definitely May!" shouted the first.
"I say it's March!" yelled the second.
"I say it's bedtime…" mumbled the third, and Alice and Dinah could here the sound of a pot lid clicking back into place on its pot.
"Mistress, I think I know who they are," said Dinah to Alice.
"And I think I do too," replied she. Leading Dinah by the paw, they stepped around to the clearing on the other side of their hiding place. There, in the centre, was a large rectangular table set up with many dishes of delicious food, including trifles, cakes and ice-creams. The Mad Hatter, March Hare and the Dormouse were all crowded around the section with the bread, spreads and tea, and the Hatter was singing a song drunkenly.
"Honour the one great me,
Who eats bread, spreads and tea!
Happy Birthday, you say to me,
Great Mad Hatter, that is me!"
"I never knew it was his birthday," said Alice to Dinah. "He's gone crazier." They both chose the adjacent corner to sit down in, the corner where all the cupcakes, puddings, trifles and jellies were put. Without invitation, they both climbed up a leg of the table gobbled down the desserts hungrily, as if they had not eaten for days, when in fact they had already eaten. Soon, they returned to a normal size.
"Excess exposure to mercury and too much alcohol intake, I think," added Dinah as she crammed another cupcake into her stuffed mouth, and she and her mistress slid down from the table and stood in the corner, munching away. Instantly, the argument of the three stopped, the Dormouse was finally pushed head-first into the pot, and they turned to look at their new companions.
"No room, no room!" the Hatter and the Hare yelled in unison, and pushing the Dormouse's pot in front of them, they ran around the unoccupied corner full of rice and its other food productions. They charged forward and crashed head-first into Alice and Dinah, who flew in the air because of the impact and landed on some branches several feet away.
"What rubbish! There's plenty of room! For example, near the bread, and then near the desserts, then–"
"It's my birthday! And when I say there's no room, there's no room!" bellowed the Mad Hatter, and he and the March Hare pushed the Dormouse's pot back to the bread, spreads and tea corner, and satisfactorily gave themselves each a thick slice of bread generously coated with honey.
After an hour of being stuck on the tree (Alice feared she would fall down a break a bone, and so stayed up there), Alice asked, "Hatter, you've been eating for an hour non-stop."
"Have I?" he looked quizzically at his watch. "Oh, most certainly not. It's still 6 o'clock. I thought that I could blend a tea party with a birthday party – isn't that clever of me?"
Alice and Dinah groaned audibly – Alice had forgotten the Mad Hatter's watch was broken.
A/N
Tamiko of the Black Plastic Frames: Thanks, especially for the comment on my English.
Mitora Jesus-Freak: I appreciate the fact that someone thinks I'm funny.
Mousewolf: I don't understand the review, but thanks anyway.