Hello my lovely readers! Thank you for your reviews! Your dedication to this story always blows me away! I love how you're asking questions on Twitter and Tumblr on when I will be posting the next chapter. Sometimes I think it's just a small story and all, but then I see how you're all big fans of My Light. You're all AMAZAAANGGGG!
NEWS: I will be leaving for vacation this Tuesday, and the place where I'm going probably won't have internet, so I'll be writing chapters in my notes. IF, however, do have access through internet, it will be just giving spoilers and interacting with you all. I will be gone for at least 3 weeks. I HOPE that I'll be able to write a lot of chapters to make up for the time lost.
Thanks for the congrats wishes on being a graduate :D
Enjoy this chapter! Don't forget to follow me on Twitter and Tumblr under OhPossibilities :D
Chapter 10: Losing the Will to Live
Caroline was on the roof garden of the abandoned witch house, doing her homework. Ever since Jeremy showed her the house, she quickly became attached to the place. She also had a sneaking suspicion that she had been here before, but decided not to dwell on it for too long.
For the first time, in a long time, Caroline felt absolutely at peace with this place. Sure, she still felt miserable, but this house made it seem bearable for her. She just wished she found this place sooner.
It was the morning after Klaus and Anna left Mystic Falls, and little Caroline woke up feeling very unhappy. So unhappy, in fact, the word "unhappy" would be the incorrect term to describe what she was feeling. Caroline was too young to understand, but she felt her soul calling out to something . . . or someone. Even her heart hurt, like it was splitting apart.
Her birthday was not a happy one at that. It was the day her parents finalized their divorce. Her father left Mystic Falls as well, and her mother was busier than ever.
It was three in the afternoon, and Caroline was in her room lying on her bed, staring at the ceiling. She turned to her side and noticed something different with her dolls. She slowly got up and picked up the doll and examined it. Its blond hair could shine like the sun if you reflect it in the light at just the right angle, and her blue eyes looked gentle and serene when you admire her face. It was the American Girl doll that Klaus got for her.
"Since when did I have an American Girl doll?" She wondered aloud. Of course, she was happy to own one, but she didn't possess any memories of buying one. She just shrugged and played with her new favorite doll.
Ten minutes later, she could hear her mother talking on the phone. Caroline knew that meant she had to go soon.
"Caroline," her mother called out.
Caroline walked to the living room, watching her mom grab her things to get ready.
"I'm sorry, sweetie. I know I have to leave, but they need me at the station. You do understand right?"
She glumly nodded.
"Besides," Liz continued, "you could go to Bonnie's house and have her nanny take care of you as well."
Caroline stared at her mother in confusion. "Bonnie has a nanny?"
"Yes, darling. Don't you remember? You introduced him to me two weeks ago." Liz finished packing her things and faced her daughter. "He told me his name is Niklaus."
"Who's Niklaus?" She asked with confusion. She never met a Niklaus, but the name did something to her heart.
Liz frowned at her daughter's question, but before she could reply to her, she heard knocking in her front door. When she checked to see who it is, she smiled welcomingly at the person.
"Sheila, it's so great to see you! How have you been?"
Sheila stood in front of the door with her famous lemon baked cookies. "I'm doing well, thank you. I just came by to drop these for Caroline and wish her a happy birthday." She cheerfully said.
Liz's smile was replaced with the look of horror as she realized that today was the day of her baby girl's birthday. "Oh, Caroline." She whispered.
Sheila frowned at Liz, "You forgot didn't you?"
"Oh, how could I forget Caroline's birthday." She buried her face in her hands. "There was so much going on with the divorce and Bill leaving . . . How could I have let this happened?"
"Oh Liz, I know it was not easy, but you can make it up to Caroline by spending the day with her." Sheila suggested, comforting the devastated mother.
"I can't. They need me in the department now…"
"Liz," Sheila's voice sounded wary, "As your friend I am telling you that with everything going on, Caroline needs to be your first priority now. She is your daughter and she need you." She was giving daggers as she looked into Liz's eyes.
She sighed then tried to avoid the subject. "I can't deal with this, I have to go. Do you think you can…"
"Watch her? Of course, dear." Sheila was disappointed in Liz's lack of determination to be a mother towards Caroline.
Sheila went into the house and found Caroline sitting behind a wall that was close to the front door. She heard everything her mother said and was devastated about it.
"I'm sorry, child." Sheila looked at the broken girl.
"She doesn't care." Caroline quietly said as the tears in her eyes glistened.
"No, sweetheart, she does care." The witch moved closer to her and began to stroke her hair, comforting her. "She just has a lot going on that's all."
"I have a lot going too!" She broke down and cried.
Sheila brought her closer while Caroline kept on crying. "Shh, I know, honey. I know."
It was the worst birthday she had ever experienced. Albeit, ten years have passed, the memory and emotional pain was still fresh in her mind. It wasn't that bad after her eighth birthday. As she continued to grow, her mom made sure to never miss another birthday again. It was somewhat bearable throughout the years, but it never felt satisfying to Caroline.
"Caroline!" Jeremy voice called out to her. "You up here?"
"Yea!" Caroline shouted in reply.
"Ah, there you are." He walked towards her once he reached the roof. "You seem content." He pointed out, smiling at her.
She smiled back. "I am. At least, for the moment."
"Come on, you're coming with me to school. Elena finally let me borrow her car while she goes with Bonnie."
"You know, I think you treat me like a sister more than you do to Elena."
Jeremy laughed and put his arm over her shoulder. "Elena may be my sister and all, but you're like my sister too."
"Aw, well thanks." She playfully pushed him.
Caroline, Bonnie, and Elena met up at the Mystic Grill after school and were discussing about Caroline's birthday.
"Care, come on." Elena whined, "You're turning 18 next week and you don't have any plans? Miss-control-freak-who-likes-to-plan-things?"
"Look, other parties and events are fine, I can handle those. It's just . . . I don't want to do anything this year."
"Care, you know how your mom is when you don't want to celebrate your birthday." Bonnie gently reminded her.
"I know! I know she's trying to make it up to me, but I just need space to breathe. Is that too much to ask?" She exasperatedly reacted.
"Very." They both said in unison.
Just then a former resident of Mystic Falls entered the Grill. Both girls' eyes widened and gawked at the sight of him all fit and grown up.
"What are you two looking at?" Caroline asked. "You both look like you've just seen a ghost."
Both girls pointed at the person who was talking with Matt. When Caroline turned, she gaped at the sight of him.
"Is that . . . Tyler Lockwood? What is he doing here?" Caroline looked back at her two best friends, still appalled.
"Um, I assume he moved back?" Bonnie guessed.
"But if he moved back then won't his uncle be back as well?"
Bonnie just shrugged. "What do I know?"
Caroline just sighed. "Well, girls, thank you for this lunch date, but I gotta get going. And please," she pressed, "no party."
"Caroline-" Elena started.
"I mean it. No party."
"Fine," she glumly said.
When Caroline was no longer at a hearing distance, Elena said, "We're throwing a party for her right?"
"Definitely," replied Bonnie.
They clinked their glasses and drank their drinks with a plan already forming in their mind.
Caroline decided to go to Sheila's herb shop to have a talk with her. Caroline is much more close with Sheila rather than Liz. The witch gave her advice and guidance to her while Liz barely acted like a parent, but it's not her fault. Caroline simply understood why Liz is always so busy, and Sheila tried her best to influence Caroline to not be bitter against her mom.
"Grams?" She called out.
"Caroline? Is that you?" Sheila called out from the back.
"Yea."
"Would you please come in here, sweetheart?"
The nickname sort of triggered something in Caroline. It reminded her of someone, but she couldn't put her finger on it. She shook her head, "Sure. You need help with something?" Caroline asked while going into the back room.
"As a matter of fact, I do. Could you please get that box for me up there, sweetie? I'm not as young as I once was, and I don't want to harm myself."
"Of course," Caroline grabbed a stool so she could easily reach the box.
At the same time, both women heard the door opened, meaning there was a customer in the shop.
"I'll be right back, Caroline. I have to go and take care of the customer." Sheila said.
"Oh yea, no problem. Got everything under control here." Caroline genuinely smiled.
Sheila went to the front desk and saw a young man she never saw before. She was a little skeptical, but decided to be polite anyway.
"Hello, sir, what can I help you with today?"
"Yea, uh, my mom is not feeling well, and she told me that she usually gets your herbs from this shop." The young man said.
"Oh? And who is your mother?"
"Uh . . . Carol Lockwood." He sheepishly replied while scratching his head.
Sheila's eyes widened with surprise. "Tyler? Tyler Lockwood is that you? Boy, have you grown!"
He chuckled at her reaction. "Thank you. My uncle has been training me to be fit and all."
"How is your uncle? I haven't seen him since you both left Mystic Falls ten years ago."
"He's great. He's been teaching and guiding me in a lot of new things. Sometimes I think he's more like my big brother rather than an uncle you know?"
"Your uncle is a good man."
He nodded in agreement. "He is."
"Grams, why are there books in this box? I thought they were just supplies?" Caroline said while coming into the room with the box she carried. She continued to shuffle to see what else is inside without looking up from the box as she spoke. "I mean these books look very old. Are you sure we need them?"
"Caroline? Caroline Forbes?"
When she looked up and saw Tyler, everything had stilled. Caroline was speechless and couldn't find her voice to speak. She couldn't believe the person who bullied her during her childhood was standing right before her.
All the memories of her being bullied surfaced and brought a slight grudge she held for Tyler. But she remembered that he apologized for his behavior and abuse, only to never see him again until ten years later.
"Tyler . . ." She whispered.
"In the flesh." He spreads out his arms, gesturing to himself and gave his most charming smile.
"What are you doing here?" She asked.
"Picking up my mom's herbal medicine."
Sheila realized that her customer was waiting on her. "Oh, they're in the back. Excuse me while I go get them." She said then left the two of them alone in the room.
Awkward tension filled the air as the once former bully and victim stood on the same ground in each other's presence.
"How have you been? It's been a while." Tyler said.
"I'm doing okay. As you can see I'm helping Grams with her shop." She nervously laughed, making the whole awkward situation tangible.
"So . . ." Caroline started. "What are you doing back in town? If you don't mind me asking."
He clicked his tongue, "So eager to get rid of me already?"
"What? No, I mean–I didn't mean it like that! What I meant was–"
Her stuttering was cut off by his laughter. "Relax Caroline, I was just joking."
She breathed a sigh of relief then playfully glared at him. "That's not funny. And since when were you this light-hearted?"
"Light-hearted?" He baffled with amusement.
"Yes, I remember when we were kids you were always so intense and uptight."
"Hey now, don't go hating on the old me. I was lost back then kay? This is the new and improved me." He proudly states.
"Hmm, and what am I suppose to do now? Bow down at your feet and kiss them?" She snorted.
"No, but you could go out on a date with me."
She looked at him in bewilderment and her mouth was ajar. Caroline was not use to guys asking her out because all of them were always interested in Elena. Once Elena turns them down, they would notice Caroline as their second option. So someone putting her first wasn't something she's use to.
Before she could give him an answer, Sheila came back with a batch of Carol's medicine.
"Here you go Ty, these herbs will help your mom for at least two weeks."
"Well, I guess that's my queue to leave so I better get going then. Thank you again for the herbs, Sheila." He smiled then turned to Caroline. "And I will be looking forward to your answer the next time we meet." Tyler smugly said and left the shop, smiling.
"Well, well, what was that all about missy?"
Caroline snapped out of her daze, "What are you talking about?"
"I'm talking about the goo-goo eyes he gave you, and what's this question he asked that made him look forward to your next meeting?"
Caroline sighed, "He asked me out."
"WHAT?" This brought a shock throughout Sheila's body. "What did you say?"
"I didn't say anything. I was saved by the bell, or in this case, you."
"What are you going to say?"
"I don't know. I have enough on my plate. Plus, being with Tyler just brought back old memories of him bullying me. I'm not ready to trust him yet."
"My, my, Caroline. I must say you are starting to become the lady." The Bennett witch said proudly.
Caroline smiled then hugged her, "It's all because of you."
Sheila's heart warmed at her words. Both women took the time to spend with one another. Although, it was a pleasant moment for Caroline, she still felt like something was missing.
Meanwhile, Jeremy was at the witch house restoring the broken walls on the second floor. This is what he did during most of his free time for the past ten years. It built up some muscle for him, and he enjoyed his accomplished work every time a new project presented itself in the house.
An hour later, he looked at his finished work feeling satisfied. He went down the flight of stairs, preparing to leave, but he smelled something that came from the kitchen.
He saw a plate of scrambled eggs, sausage, and bacon. Not only that, but there was also juice, milk, and chocolate chip pancakes.
Jeremy was quite famished, but he didn't know where these plates of delicious food came from. He was beyond confused. Until he spotted a card that had his name on it and opened it.
Breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Wake up earlier next time.
The card didn't say who it was from. Jeremy wondered if it was Elena who set this up for him, but that was impossible since she never knew about this place.
He immediately thought of Caroline, but she wasn't there when he complained about not having breakfast.
His eyes widened in realization and in a quick movement, he looked behind him and his heart neared with excitement and happiness.
There she stood in a simple white dress. Her hair was curled and it still had the same length the last time he saw her. But her eyes shone with happiness and she stared back at him with tears glistening in her eyes. She looked beautiful.
"Anna?" He whispered not believing it.
"Hi Jeremy," she quietly replied.
They stood there for what seemed like forever, taking each other in. One moment they're looking into each other's eyes, the next moment they're in each other arms.
"You're here!" He cried, hugging her tightly. "You're really here!"
"I'm here. I'm here," she sighed with contentment and pulled him closer. "My Jer-bear,"
Jeremy's heart skipped a beat when she called him by his nickname. "I can't believe you're here," his voice sounded tired from all the years he's been waiting for her. And now that she's here, he is never going to let her go.
"I'm here Jer-bear," she sniffled. "I'm here."
"I missed you so much!" He whispered with desperation.
"I missed you too, Jer."
Jeremy then picked her up in his arms and the two were spinning with happiness. They both laughed, feeling their souls being whole again. Their bond was knitting itself back together after many years of separation.
"Did you do this?" Jeremy pointed to the food on the kitchen table.
"Well, yea, I was there when I heard you and your sister bickering about breakfast and all."
"That was a week ago."
She smiled sadly, "I know. I would've appeared sooner, but every time I tried you weren't alone."
"I'm sorry. I should've paid more attention."
She shook her head, "Don't blame yourself Jer, you didn't know. But hey, I'm glad it happened now instead of next week."
He stared at her in awe, admiring the fact that she always focused on the positive side. He gave her his brightest smile and replied, "Me too."
"Look at you, all grown up and looking very handsome." She brushed the tip of his hair while he blushed.
"And you don't look a day over 17."
She laughed.
After their heartfelt reunion, the mates talked about what had happened to them the past ten years. Jeremy explained how he took care of the house and how he kept his promise to Anna.
Jeremy ate his food and fed Anna some while she talked about how both her and Klaus traveled the world to find a loophole in the ritual. But the devastating news was that there is no loophole. Nothing could stop the ritual. It's best to avoid confronting the enemy.
"So how's Caroline been doing?" Anna asked, trying to change the subject.
"She's . . . coping. Her soul is crying out for Klaus and she doesn't even know who he is."
"They're mates, Jer. Being apart from each other is excruciatingly painful. But what makes it bearable is that you have the hope of meeting each other again." She smiled and took his hand in hers.
He smiled back them realized something. "Except . . . She doesn't know him. She can't bear that constant emptiness in he soul. Aw, man, that explains so much." He put his head in his hands.
"What does?"
"Caroline had an accident last year and it almost cost her life."
Anna slightly gasped, "What happened?"
"We threw her a 17th birthday party at the Mystic Grill that night. It was a fun party and I believed that we all had a good time, including Caroline. After the party, some of us, including her mom, stayed and started cleaning up. Caroline volunteered to help, but her mom insisted that she went home and rest. By the time I got home, I got a frantic call from Caroline's mom."
Jeremy sighed, rubbing his forehead in frustration.
Anna saw how distress Jeremy was. She grabbed his hand and ran her thumb across it in comfort. He immediately relaxed.
"When I got the call," Jeremy continued, "Liz was told me that Caroline got into some sort of accident while getting plates from the cupboards, but," he swallowed, "it toppled over Caroline causing a gash on her arm and the thing is, is that Caroline didn't do anything to stop the bleeding. The doctor said she lost about 40% of her blood." He laughed bitterly.
"Why didn't she stop the bleeding?"
"I went to her room that night to confront her. I was so angry, but you should've seen the depressed, empty look she had, Anna."
When Jeremy entered Caroline's hospital room, he was instantly by her side. She was hooked up with a blood transfusion, but her face was still as pale as ever.
Caroline was staring out the window, wondering what's so good about the world. She felt like there was nothing in this world that could save her – nothing and no one.
"Caroline," Jeremy called out. "Why didn't you stop the bleeding? Your mom just told me you just laid there, staring off into space. Why Caroline?"
Jeremy felt horrible and guilty that he couldn't fully keep his promise. He was positive that her party would brighten up her day. He was very wrong.
"Why Caroline?" He pushed, losing his patience.
"You don't know what it's like, Jer." She whispered. "Every year, just weeks before my birthday, I feel like . . ." She choked up and couldn't say anything. Soft tears were flowing down her face. "When I was lying down on that kitchen floor, bleeding out . . . I wondered why I always felt like this. So, I simply didn't do anything. It's not like I didn't do it on purpose. I'm not that stupid. But it's amazing how I survived because honestly . . . I've lost the will to live. I was just waiting for the right time for me to go." She looked at Jeremy with sad, empty eyes.
Jeremy's heart broke when she said she has lost the will to live. He grasped her hands tightly, looking into her eyes with determination.
"Caroline, listen to me. Of course there will be that time where we depart from this world, but it is not your time. You are going to live a long life and travel the world like destined to. You're going to be okay. Just . . . please, don't lose the will to live." Then he quietly muttered, "Do it for him."
She sniffed and wiped her tears with her uninjured hand. "Do it for who?"
"For me," he quickly said. "For your mom, for Bonnie, Elena, Grams, and all the people who love you. Just try, Caroline; you're not alone in this."
"After that, Caroline got better. She lived for the people around her, but I'm worried that there will another repeat of last year."
"Jeremy, you may have made a promise, but you couldn't predict what was going to happen." Anna reassured.
"But I was suppose to look out for her."
"Yes, but you gave her the will to live again. That's what is important. I am proud of you."
She smiled at him and Jeremy smiled back. As they looked into each other's eyes, the bond between them got stronger.
"Uh, we should get going." Anna sheepishly said, blushing.
He quietly laughed, "Okay." He held out his hand for her to take. She gladly accepted it and the two happily walked out hand in hand.
Bonnie and Elena were busy planning Caroline's birthday surprise and were going over the details at the Grill when suddenly a girl came up to them.
"Elena? Bonnie?"
Both girls looked up and saw the girl. They gasped and squealed with excitement.
"APRIL!" They ambushed her with their hugs and she tightly hugged them back.
"What are you doing here?" Elena asked, grinning at her.
"I just moved back a week ago. I got everything settled and decided to come here, hoping that I'd run into one of you." She happily replied.
"We're so glad you're back! Three years has been way too long!" Bonnie said.
"Oh my gosh, I know! My parents agreed to let me come back for senior year." She explained with delight.
"Then we'll be seeing you in school tomorrow." Elena said.
"I guess so," she enthusiastically said.
As the girls chatted away, Kol stood in the corner of the room, staring in awe at April. He could tell that this girl had a pure heart, and is the type of person who is cheerful and trusting. Finally, after for so long, he's able to see who his mate is, and she is beautiful. Despite of his past, he was determined to make her his.
So what do you guys think?
Kol's mate is April?! Whaaat? Haha yea, I first planned for it to be Kennet, but then realized that they're being overused. Sorry, to the Kennet shippers! I don't mind Kennet being together and have nothing against them, but I just wanted to make a change.
Don't forget to review! Check out a SPOILER at the bottom of the page!
And don't forget to follow me on Twitter and Tumblr under OhPossibilities! :D
hopeless637: Thank you! I'm not sure about Elena's story right now, but I just wanted to clarify that Katherine's already dead because she was already being used for Klaus' sacrifice.
yourloved: Hope you're okay with the Kapril shipping :P
DJ: Thank you for favoriting the story! :D
SharkGurl: It was Kennet first, but then I think they're being overused so I'm doing something different. Sorry :(
pioupiou14: Thank you for the wishes! So glad you like the story!
MoriatyandHisTardis: Thanks! Sorry, it's April. Wanted to do a different approach.
Guest: Thanks for the wishes! Haha no, this time it's Kapril. Not that I have anything against Kennet, but I agree that they're being overused.\
kacomu: Nooo, I really didn't like it when Caroline got abused like that.
Lisa: Greeting from the states! Thank you so much! I'm so glad you love it! Hope that this chapter made your day!
Curious Blonde: Aw thank you! and thanks for the wishes! Well, this chapter answered some of your questions hehe. Thank you for reviewing! It means a lot!
missgwen33: Glad to be back :D
chibichibi98: Wow, sometimes it hard for me to believe that you and the other readers love this story so much hehe. Thank you for always reviewing! It means a lot :)
CarelessLove91: Wow! Thank you so much! Hope this chapter made your day!
justine: I absolutely LOVE reading your reviews! You really understand the depths and emotions when I portray the characters and that really means a lot. Especially from a reader/reviewer :D
ILoveYou1978: OMG, THANK YOU SO MUCH! :DDD
Seniorita: Thanks for the wishes! :)
1998baby: OMG, that means so much! I wasn't sure if it did, but your review made my day! Thank you!
cinnamon0478: No, you're the one who is awesome! You review really put a smile on my face! Thank you so much!
CharlSmith: Just only Kol for the moment, thank you for reviewing! :D
DreamsBeatReality: Can you endure a little bit longer? I'm trying to make this perfect ;)
3littlepigs: I'm glad you enjoyed it :D Hope this chapter answered your question :)
.Executioner: It'ssssss nooooottttt :P But I wanted to add Kapril, it's for something new and fresh :)
Mariqueta: Thank you :D
Lilyzinha: I'm trying to add characters at the right timing. Like the Salvatores and the rest of the Originals, but for the time being, it's just Kol.
ariella411: Well, I hope this chapter made you happy then ;D
Guest: It was at first, but I agree that it's being overused so that's why I switched the Kapril :)
Zoe1010: Oh no, that's fine! Your English was pretty good when I read your review :D
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red-as-a-rose12334: This chapter has answered your question :)
SPOILERRRRRRRRR! You guys ready?
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Klaus and Caroline will reunite in the next chapter, BUT! It's not gonna be how you guys imagine it to be...
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WHAAAT? How can this be?! What does it mean?!
Well, sorry to leave you hanging, but that's all you're getting for now.
Check out my Twitter and Tumblr for more spoilers!